Florida Republicans get all skeeved out when anybody mentions lady parts, which is why the word “uterus” was not allowed to be uttered in the legislature last week without a stern condemnation from some closet case. Via Balloon Juice:

At one point Randolph suggested that his wife “incorporate her uterus” to stop Republicans from pushing measures that would restrict abortions. Republicans, after all, wouldn’t want to further regulate a Florida business.

Apparently the GOP leadership of the House didn’t like the one-liner.

They told Democrats that Randolph is not to discuss body parts on the House floor.

But it’s always okay to say “Koch.” [Tampa Bay Online]

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  • how is uteruus incorporated?

    • Troubledog

      how LLC get pragnant?

      • Lefty_Lucy

        A hostile takeover. But LLC was asking for it.

        • Sparky_McGruff

          They need to do way instain LLC> who kill thier babbys. becuse these babby cant frigth back?

    • DashboardBuddha

      It's complicated and expensive. Best to set up a shell in Delaware.

    • Winnie_Cooper

      I would call mine UterUs, LLP. It has that nice inclusive feel to it.

      • I'll bet getting the office furniture moved in was hell.

        • Winnie_Cooper

          Can I start outsourcing its work to India yet?

    • Steverino247

      And to the occupied uterus for which it stands…

  • rambone

    Nine out of ten Republican men agree, girl parts is nasty!

    • Hatrabbit

      But boy parts? Rentable.

  • Radiotherapy


    • ShaveTheWhales

      No, you can't say that.

    • No body part references allowed on wonkette!

  • Callyson

    From the Tampa Bay Online article:
    "Republicans voiced concern about young pages hearing the word uterus."
    You see, it's a slippery slope: first they hear about a uterus, then next thing you know they are having group buttseks…

    • Radiotherapy

      Cee U 'N Tampa.

    • Fukui_san[$ df -k]

      "Republicans voiced concern about young pages hearing the word uterus."

      From which state did Mark Foley hail as a Representative? It's slipped my mind.

    • franco_pinyon

      Jumpin' Jiminy! Just how young ARE these pages?

  • Crank_Tango

    Well isn't the uterus where the cooties come from?

    • That's what I learned in 7th grade Health class. But the creationists pushed back and now they teach "intelligent design" of cooties.

    • tessiee

      No. They used to think that, but now we know that cooties come from butts.

  • user-of-owls

    I thought uterus wasn't a planet anymore.

    • Radiotherapy

      Not with these Plutocrats.

      • DownFist Troll

        They just changed the name. Now it's Urectum.

    • SayItWithWookies

      It's officially a Callista — a distant, icy world.

    • AutomaticPilot

      But Uranus is a planet! Hey-oh!

  • tribbzthesquidz

    i.e. Less incorporated uteruses. More discorporated penises.

  • Barbara_i

    They are all the epitome of "April Fools!" I'm sure that they will talk about their:
    "incredible- heat- seeking- moisture- missles"
    "Auger-headed gut wrench"
    "Baldy-headed spunk-juice dispenser"
    "Captain Caveman"
    "One-eyed wrinkle-necked trouser trout"
    until the cows come home. They only want to hear about the female parts in sweet whispers on their private cell phones, in text messages, and perfectly placed webcam private discussions. Otherwise, it's just wrong.

    Go ahead, take this opportunity to tell us what you call yours. I will give thumbs up to any man who admits that he calls his "Lil' Rusty"

    • Crank_Tango

      hey barbara! I have a lurker friend that thinks yer super kewl and she wants to be lady friends with you on the facebook. you can drop me a line at my name @gmail and I will fill you in. unless you are crazy, or I'm crazy, or whatever.

      • Barbara_i

        Do I have to be Michele Bachmann crazy, or just sniffing Crazy Glue crazy, or just the perfect blend of Lithium and Thorazine crazy? Heck, I don't even own a copy of The Catcher in the Rye.

        • Crank_Tango

          well you don't have to be crazy to post here, but it helps!

          I hate mondays, also.

      • Limeylizzie

        She is very cool and , also, hilarious.

    • Limeylizzie

      I call MrLimeylzzie's " The Log of Justice".

      • BarryOPotter

        HA!!! 'The L of J' made me snort very loudly! Thank you

    • Steverino247

      Purple helmeted warrior of love. How's that?

    • BeWoot

      Little Elvis.

  • Troubledog

    Fucking Florida anyway. This shit is your fucking fault. Thanks for ruining the world.

    • fuflans

      it really really is.

  • Badonkadonkette

    Republicans voiced concern about young pages hearing the word uterus

    As any good Florida Republican knows, there's a time and a place for graphic discussions of sex organs with young pages, and it's late at night, online.

    • Lost_Teabaggers

      You just gave Mark Scott a chubby…stop that.

      • tcaalaw

        Mark Foley too.

  • From the Page and Messenger Program of the Florida State House: "Each House Member has an opportunity to sponsor one page (between the ages of 12-14) and one messenger (aged 15-18) for each year's program."

    The little glue sniffers could tell the GOP leadership a lot more than they could imagine about girl parts, boy parts and how to use them.

  • Lionel[redacted]Esq

    What a uterus.

    • Barbara_i

      That's what he said.

  • fuflans

    i have nothing to add here as every single fucking day since november has been a revelation of the extraordinary way in which this country is completely fucked.

    i think i have posted everything i ever thought of already. now i am going to do a play by albert camus or something.

    • Barbara_i

      Meh, make it "Waiting for Godot" Spoiler alert: he doesn't show up.

    • miss_grundy

      I think a play by Eugene Ionescu is called for. Actually, his plays make better sense than what passes for sense in Amurica!

  • emmelemm

    Yes, G-d forbid young pages should actually hear a matter-of-fact word for a body part. G-d forbid they might ever have some kind of sex education and understand "where babby come from".

  • The house floor isn't a place to say uterus, it is just a place to legislate what is not allowed to happen in them.

  • Florida Republicans have 100 words for "uterus".

  • Lost_Teabaggers

    Yes, it would be in Florida where they cannot mention the word uterus but can't move quickly enough to get their hands in one….you know, because Republicans are all nazi about abortions? Hey…no one's laughing, was it too soon? Ah, fuckit…wingnuts love the cock….there! Happy now?

  • bumfug

    But they'll talk about "Santorum" all day long.

  • DownFist Troll

    Henceforth, the word "Uterus" shall now be replaced by "That thing at the back of my cunt".

  • magnetite

    GOP gets hysterical over "uterus". Gets hysterical over "hysteria". Goes into infinite loop.

    And we all lived happily ever after.

    • LibrulEleet

      Needs a hysterectomy.

      • magnetite

        Not I, as I seem to be going through "the change". This is particularly worrying as I am not a lady.

        Ignore the boobs, they only muddy the waters.

  • Impossible. There's not enough room in the PC Police Departments. All the Democrats are taking up the entire space!

  • Come here a minute

    This is the perfect time for me to say this: BOOBIES!

    Also, it makes me wonder what word Limeylizzie would use to describe these gentlemen.

    • Limeylizzie

      After some thought I believe I would call them " A bunch of dozy, bleedin' cunts" .Seems apropos.

      • Steverino247

        Well, I knew damned well it wasn't going to be "Forest of Justice" that's a fact!

  • metamarcisf

    Instead of "uterus", may I suggest the term, "inverted penis"?

    • Camaro Nova

      Looks like you are the one with the inverted p-ness, my friend. Stop hanging out with Breitbart and your p-ness will grow.

    • BarryOPotter

      may I suggest the term…

      No. No you may not.

    • Future taxpayer storage facility?
      Sperm bank? (make a deposit & watch it grow)
      Florida State Property?

  • Negropolis

    Big Dick has started a war against Big Pussy (and not a sexy one, either). Rumor has it that Big Pussy is gearing up to launch a charm offensive that Big Dick will not be able to resist…

  • LesBontemps

    Florida: America's penis dangly bits.

  • Limeylizzie

    OT but some good news.

    The unemployment rate fell to a two-year low of 8.8 percent in March and companies added workers at the fastest two-month pace since before the recession began.

    The Labor Department says the economy added 216,000 new jobs last month, offsetting layoffs at local governments.

    • CliveWarren

      Boner did it!!!

      • Oblios_Cap

        And they're all burger-flipping or Wal-Mart jobs! The new Utopia has arrived.

  • Sue4466

    I believe the problem is not the use of "uterus" but the placement of "her" before it, suggesting private ownership of her fetus machine, which rightly belongs to America.

    • loulouroo


    • Redhead

      Not to America – to her father, until he decides to sell it to the man he picks to be her husband. But close!

      • Sue4466

        I dunno. Rick Santorum's not my dad, but he sure seems to have a lot of opinions about what my uterus should be doing.

        • Redhead

          He's just making sure that no one (including you) infringes on your dad's/husband's right to control your uterus! It's not like you'd know what's best for you or anything.

    • Negropolis

      Ha! @ "fetus machine"

    • tessiee

      "I believe the problem is not the use of "uterus" but the placement of "her" before it, suggesting private ownership of her fetus machine"

      Yeah, it's uter-US, not uter-YOU.

  • That cunt.

  • The_Great_Gazoo

    Randolph should say "swollen uvula" and really freak some of them out.

    • Ducksworthy

      Very good. My wife has a hot swollen uvula. That should do it.

  • The preferred term is Bachmann’s Clown Car.

  • Pragmatist2

    Uh, is "womb" OK?

  • widestanceroman

    Hell NO to job-killing uteri!

  • KeepFnThatChicken

    A room full of dicks.

  • PublicLuxury

    This is lady parts. Ladies are important. Laws are made to make sure ladies know they aren't important. Laws are made to make the ladies open the legs that men own so they can check out the nasty lady parts.

    Subjugation ladies that is ALL this about.

  • nounverb911

    Needs more viagra!

  • pinkocommi

    Florida has abortions? Aren't all the women who live there post-menopausal?

  • Redhead

    So it's okay to show an early-stage ultrasound (which involves sticking an ultrasound wand that looks a lot like a dildo into the vag) on a large projector screen, but actually SAYING "uterus" is off limits?

  • Hatrabbit

    They also get very sensitive when people use the word 'jobs' while discussing the economy.

  • DaSandman

    Well, the Repugs hate women so therefore the mention of ladyparts just puts them into high moral dudgeon..

    Mention underage boy anus however and it reminds them of the hospitaility suite at the last convention and they start fapping uncontrollably

  • jus_wonderin

    Can I still say Volvo on the floor of the House?

    • Limeylizzie

      I wish you could drive a Volvo straight through all these Republicans on the floor of the house.

  • Steverino247

    I've been driving my wife's vulva for almost 40 years now and I get great mileage.

    • Beetagger

      Boy, do I have a Saab story for you…

  • Gopherit

    The word itself isn't a breach of decorum, it's the uncontrollable giggling from the republican caucus every time someone says the word. Self-righteousness of the ages, but the personal decorum of a bunch of 3rd grade boys.

    And how exactly are they ever going to discuss their anti abortion legislation without saying uterus? Calling it mommy's baby bed or something?

  • BarackMyWorld

    A brain is a body part, too. Too bad they don't know how to use theirs.

  • Beetagger

    Mucus plug. There, I emptied the Florida statehouse for you.

  • comrad_darkness

    WTF, these people LITERALLY are five year olds.

  • inedalo

    if men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.

  • Words

    Gloria Steinem stole that bit from a New York cabbie…

  • tessiee

    Boobies. Weiner. Hiney. That is all.

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