Gross AND dumbMama Sasquatch Sarah Palin made a special appearance on Glenn Beck’s famous radio program, “George Soros Is A Jew,” this morning, and good gravy, she talked about some heavy stuff! When asked by one of Beck’s radio lackeys how she would “handle a situation like the one that just developed in North Korea” after she becomes president, Sarah Palin went with the “obvious” answer: “Obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies.” So basically Sarah Palin would throw diplomacy in the garbage can and immediately declare war on our “real allies,” the South Koreans, without even talking to them first. That’s a horrible way to treat an old friend.

CO-HOST: How would you handle a situation like the one that just developed in North Korea? […]

PALIN: But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies. We’re bound to by treaty –

CO-HOST: South Korean.

PALIN: Eh, Yeah. And we’re also bound by prudence to stand with our South Korean allies, yes.

Try to imagine how unimpressed Palin must have been by this radio co-host fellow, who apparently thinks there is some sort of big and important difference between “North” and “South” Korea. Eh, yeah, whatever, Sarah probably thought to herself, Chinese people are all the same. [ThinkProgress]

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  • V572625694

    Start the bombing! Nukes over Seoul in 25 minutes!

    What? We have troops there? You mean, like, Americans? Oh, never mind.

    This should fill all the programming gaps on MSNBC for the next three days.

  • OC_Surf_Serf

    She can relate: Lil' Kim has some fucked up children too

    • Not_So_Much

      He's even begun bringing his youngest son, with the misshapen face, to public political events. Can she see his house from her's? (I mean, pre-Liberty Privacy Fence, of course.)

  • Sue4466

    There goes the lamestream media again, with their gotcha questions on the difference between North and South like it really matters. They're both KOREA.

    • All of them, Katie.

      • Wadisay

        All of them, in what respect, Zvi?

    • twogoats

      and in spots, you can see one from the other.

    • OhNoGuy

      Yea, kind of like the Dakotas, right?

      • WriteyWriterton

        Dakotas? I thought there was only the one, where what's-his-name iced Lennon.

        • UW8316154

          Nah, you must be thinking of Macauley's sister…

  • lochnessmonster

    Just like the lame stream media to pick on old Sarah Mama Grizzly Bear Lipstick on a Pitbull Palin's mis-speak. And on Thanksgiving Eve for heavens sakes!

    • horsedreamer_1

      If Sarah's a pit-bull, then she's a delicacy in Korea.

      • V572625694

        Mmmm…kimchee and boiled pit bull. It's Gourmet Day on our Wonkett!

        Be sure to spit out the dog tags before you swallow!

        • jim89048

          That's like getting the big end of the wishbone, right?

          • BaldarTFlagass

            I'm hoping for the Pope's nose.

          • OhNoGuy

            How dare you disrespect Our German Shepherd!

      • lochnessmonster


  • WarAndGee

    We went to war under false pretenses with the last Republican President.

    The only way we can out do that is to deliberately bomb the fuck out of the wrong country in the name of blinding white patriotism, you betcha.

    Palin / Yet to be Determined Undereducated Teabagger 2012

    • Serolf_Divad

      Just imagine how frightening a Palin presidency could be:
      NATL SECURITY ADVISOR: President palin, there is touble on the Korean peninsula once again… artillery fire has been exchanged between the two Koreas.
      PRESIDENT PALIN [Cradling Trig]: Goldanged Kim Jon IL, goldanged South Koreans! Let the bords fly! Bomb those Godless South Koreans into the stone age!
      NATL. SECURITY ADVISOR: President Palin… er… surely you mean for us to bomb North Korea?
      PRESIDENT PALIN [flying in to a rage]: Who are you to question me? I say what I mean, and I mean what I say! We are bound by duty and treaty to bomb North korea.
      NATL SECURITY ADVISOR: Bomb North Korea, then? Good…
      PRESIDENT PALIN: Yes, bomb North Korea. I want to see Seoul in flames by 6:00 tonight!
      NATL SECURITY ADVISOR: Seul? But Seul is is South Korea.
      PRESIDENT PALIN: Yes, that's what i said! Bomb South Korea! Are you deaf or something? Bomb them, BOMB THEM NOW OR FIND ME SOMEONE WHO WILL! Oh Hell, why are we even wasting our time with half measures? Bomb the whole damned country north and south. That's teach Kim Jong Il a lesson!

  • She can't see Korea from her house.

    • JadedDissonance

      The brain stem is not completely severed, keeping vital organs and the mouth alive.

    • mog253

      She just hasn't tried.

      • AutomaticPilot

        She started to try, but then she quit.

  • Veritas78

    I'm astonished that the Fox co-host spotted the error, and gobsmacked at the temerity to point it out. Someone's brushing up a résumé today!

  • elviouslyqueer

    Eh, yeah, whatever, Sarah probably thought to herself, Chinese people them yellow, slanty-eyed Chinks are all the same.

    /fixed, for truthiness

    • trampndirtdown

      Look at these!

  • DoktorZoom

    Sarah can see Hank Hill from her house!

    • V572625694

      Alaskunt's minions killed your link already.

      • trampndirtdown

        Haha Hello stupid rednecks.

    • DoktorZoom

      Lemme try that again:

      "So, are you Chinese or Japanese"?

      "We Laotian."

      "The Ocean? What's that?"

      "From Laos, stupid! It’s a landlocked country in South East Asia between Vietnam and Thailand, population approximately 4.7 million!"


      "So, are you Chinese or Japanese?"

      • not that Dewey

        My Khannie, she is a Laotian…

  • DashboardBuddha

    In the Palin WHITEhouse

    [Sarah finishes pushing The Button] There…that will take care of those pesky South Koreans.

    Aide – Ummm…Madam president. The South Koreans are our allies

    Sarah – Whatever.

    • sezme

      Aide: But…Madam president, the South Koreans are our allies!

      Sarah: [in a pitch-perfect Inspector Clouseau impression] … Not anymore!

  • prommie

    Holy shit, so clueless she fucking tried to fake her way through it.

    "Which of our allies do we have to stand by? All of them, all of our allies, Katie."

    • Sgt_Biyatch

      Clearly. It's embarrassing.
      I like how she tries to sound knowledgeable without saying anything substantive. Right before the refudiation, she says: "this speaks to a bigger picture that certainly scares me in terms of our national security policy…" It's as if she studied hours of "Meet the Press" reruns but can't quite get the lingo down.

      • TanzbodenKoenig

        Oh God. I would rather be waterboarded than forced to endure hours of Meet the Press reruns. David Gregory is a no talent ass clown and not even the Snowbilly Grifter herself deserves that kind of punishment

        • Sgt_Biyatch

          Yeah, I stopped watching when Tim Russert passed. David Gregory's whole schtick smacks of effort.

        • I watch, but I don't feel proud of myself afterward. For instance, here is the sentence he began the show with Nov. 14:

          "President Obama on the way back from his 10-day trip to Asia, stopping a short time ago back on U.S. soil to refuel in Alaska. "

          The first verb I can find is "to refuel". ("Stopping" doesn't count, it's a participle.)

          • TanzbodenKoenig

            God, I'm sure that sentence had Hemingway rolling in his grave.Sent from my iPhone

        • metamarcisf

          I'm always getting David Gregory mixed up with Michael Bolton too

    • Not_So_Much

      Slow down there, some of our allies are technically 'teh brownz', so we don't stand right by them…

  • elviouslyqueer

    Also, "bound by prudence"? WTF does that even mean? And who the hell is Prudence?

    • the_onceler

      Someone who doesn't want to come out to play?

    • DoktorZoom

      Prudence is a close friend of Paula. They both are bound to a thankless job of fetus-disposal.

      • AutomaticPilot

        Too bad they weren't on the job about 46 years ago when Alaskunt was conceived.

    • fuflans

      dear prudence.

    • StillGoinGreen

      I think she is right. While siding with Communist North Korea, we should also be prudent about bombing the fuck out of South Korea – until we get our troops out of there, that is. Prudence is as prudence does.

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Also, no more Kias or Hyundais, so Detroit gets a much-needed shot in the arm.

    • qwerty42

      bound by prudence
      ??? some sort of reference to BDSM?

    • mog253

      Why, do you want her to tie you up,too?

    • zhubajie

      Prudence is the Palin daughter you never hear about, the one Sarah had when she was 16!

  • binarian

    Someone contradicted Princess Sarah? Oh, the temerity of that serf! Off with his or her head!

  • SorosBot

    Considering how little Sarah knows about the world outside Alaska, I'd like to ask her about her opinions on the recent war between Wakanda and Latveria and see if she falls for it.

    • the_onceler

      Does she really know that much about the world inside Alaska?

      • LetUsBray

        She clearly doesn't know what the fuck is going on (or who's fucking whom) inside her own damn family.

    • Sgt_Biyatch

      How about a more embarrassing set of names, like "Grundlestan and Vas Deferensia"?

    • horsedreamer_1

      Some Canadian radio comic did that to Bush in 2000, posing as French Prime Minister "Jacques Putine", & we know where that got us.

      Don't tempt fate, again.

    • I marvel at your knowledge.

    • DoktorZoom

      Hail, hail Freedonia!

      • Oblios_Cap

        I'm rooting for the Black Panther.

      • trampndirtdown

        Watch it Marxist!

    • MaxNeanderthal

      Brobdinag or Lilliput? Oceania or Eurasia?

  • JadedDissonance

    I'm sure nobody has ever confused denizens of a communist-surrounded-half-city with donuts either.

    • Steverino247

      "Ich bin ein Berliner" does not translate to "I am a jelly donut." You better believe the citizens of Berlin knew exactly what he meant. See more here:

      • JadedDissonance

        Wait, you think I'm defending her? Fail.

    • Sgt_Biyatch

      That's a fair comparison:
      John F. Kennedy speaking in German = Sarah Palin speaking English

  • Kinda fits her very limited world view really. In her mind, North/Alaska = good pure while South/Rest of US America = sinful hurtful can't recognize brilliance when they see it poopyheads.

    Or it's because she is intrigued by the crazyass cult of personality/stupidity/avarice/insanity that the Krazy Kim Klan has carved out in NK and wants to subscribe to their newsletter.

    • V572625694

      So Kim is the son of a previous national leader who came to office in questionable circumstances, and now seeks a meaningless war to solidify his nation behind him and prove to his daddy that he's a Real Man.

      Why does this sound so familiar? Was Kim a cheerleader at Pyongyang U?

      • Gunner Asch

        See also Henry IV-V. Once more into the breach!

  • horsedreamer_1

    Seeing that picture, it seems more likely Tiger Woods's porn-star mistress Joslyn James should have been the lead in Who's Nailin' Palin?.

    There's also a little Peggy Hill, there. & Peggy's ensalada de palabras agrees with that assessment.

  • HobbesEvilTwin

    Never mind the grifter's error, the first clue that the listeners were tuned into the wrong station for foreign policy expertise should have been that they were listening to Glen Beck.

    • Ancient_Hackery

      Why is everyone Hatin' on poor ol Bible Spice.

      She be *improving*.

      During the campaign, way back, she didn't even KNOW there were two Koreas. Now she at least knows there are two of them, and they're not East/West Korea.

      • BornInATrailer

        Rarely is the questioned asked; are our 2012 presidential candidate learning?

  • Urban_Achiever

    "So….are ya Chinese, or are ya Japanese?"

    "We Laotian."

    "The Ocean? What's that?"

    "It's a land locked country in south east Asia."


    "So, are you Chinese or Japanese?"

  • mereoblivion

    When he axed her Do we gotta retake Pork Chop Hill, she said First we gotta make sure Israel is OK with it.

  • DahBoner

    Remember, Indian Casinos Uses Every Part Of The Dollar.

    Likewise, in North Korea, they use every part of the rat.

  • jodyleek

    I personally believe that Sarah Palin is unable to do so because, uh, some . . . people out there in our nation don't have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as in South Korea and, uh, the North Korea, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over HERE in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Korea and should help the North Korea and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our children.

    • Jukesgrrl

      And to appreciate the troops, also.

    • slappypaddy

      you left out south africa, and the other carolinas.

  • chickensmack

    Alt-text: Madonna of the Maksutov

  • Kidneys4Sale

    In other shocking developments, it's Wednesday.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Devopments … I like that. In the spirit of the Snowbilly, let's remove some other useless middle letters from words.

      • StillGoinGreen

        Damned edit button – it ruins a perfectly good "snark" reply, doesn't it?

        • Kidneys4Sale

          Indeed it dose. (b-dm tz, etc)

  • EdFlintstone

    Sarah dont forget to go after the Japanese and Germans also too to the Brits. Nicole Wallace is having herself a good laugh right about now. Didn't they have to try and cram/tutor Palin on 20th century history during the campaign? Guess snowbilly couldn't transfer out of the course.

  • Serolf_Divad

    Bound by treaty to support our North Korean allies, bound by prudence to support our South Korean allies: this classic Sophoclean conflct of values is the stuff of great tragedy (remember Antigone's insistence on burying her brother Polyneices in defiance of her king Creon's declaration that the rebel's body be left to rot on the battlefield?).

    Henestly, I'm so often quite amazed by Sarah Palin's subtle, erudite and nuanced take on world events. Classical scholarship never served an American political figure so well.

  • Wilcoxyz

    Please, when Sarah is president, we'll decide who to go to war with by letting real merikuns call in to a teevee show. Suck it, haters.

    • horsedreamer_1

      Haters are all a bunch of faggots.

  • Sheesko

    All right, that does it! I'm asking Warren Buffet to buy a globe and a copy of the US State Department's Foreign Affairs Manual for everyone in this country who still knows how to read and can't access the online equivalents thereof. Now where'd I put his business card? Damn….

  • GOPCrusher

    Next show she is on, will she have "South Korea=ally" written on her hand?

    • slappypaddy

      no, if she does that, she'll end up digging around in the dumpster behind the building, looking for one of the countries she misplaced.

  • chickensmack

    From the recording:

    "…and we're not having a lot of faith that the White House is gonna come out with a strong enough policy to, um, sanction what North Korea's gonna do…"

    For her, everything is "faith." It's her God, for fuck's sake. Pray all you want, Sarah, but keep rowing toward shore.

  • JustPixelz

    A politician mis-speaks. Is that such a big fucking deal? Well it is if you're Obama. google "obama misquoted declaration" to see the dozens and dozens of sites harping on that incident.

    • DoktorZoom

      But, but…it's happened TWICE!!!! that means he deliberately left it out, and therefore hates God. Despite ending all his speeches with God-talk and despite the other times the Kenyan Usurper has quoted the "endowed by their creator" part in full.

      I swear, sometimes the science of Obama-hating seems to involve interpreting signs and portents even more obscure than those needed to interpret the significance of who sat where in the old Soviet May Day parades.

  • Bluestatelibel

    This week just keeps getting worser and worser for poor Searah.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Sarah doesn't need to know which countries are our allies and which aren't. When she's president, she plans on just launching missiles at random and letting The LORD's steady hand guide them to their destinations. Then the archangel Michael will appear to her in a dream and tell her that we defeated whoever it was we attacked. And with a little muscle to keep the lamestream media from asking her gotcha questions like "Why did you just kill 50,000 Namibians without provocation?" it'll be the best presidency ever.

    • chickensmack

      Vice President Jesus will lead a special session of Congress to enact the 28th Amendment: "Any sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven men, but blasphemy against the Spirit shall not be forgiven."

      oh, and women: no fine print on that "men" deal. you're fucked.

    • Radiotherapy

      I can't get this image of snow-mobiles racing around the White House out of my head — even though I'll be watching it on the CBC.

      • SayItWithWookies

        Snow machines!

  • Mama Grizz found out South Korea wasn't doing their part to get Bristol the DWTS trophy. They EARNED their bombing…

  • mavenmaven

    Bad time to ask her about going to war, I think she's ready to nuke the whole world after Bristol came in third. THIRD!!!! WHERE IS THAT RED BUTTON!!! GOTCHA NOW!!!!

  • OzoneTom

    In her mind they are already re-united.

  • HistoriCat

    For some reason I'm reminded of the scene from Bananas

    "Are we fighting for the government or the rebels?"
    "The CIA isn't taking any chances – half of us are fighting for the rebels, the other half for the government."

    • metamarcisf

      And don't forget Stallone's performance as Subway Thug #1

  • GOPCrusher

    The ThinkProgress article was too kind by calling it a "gaffe". I honestly believe that Bible Spice could not point out the Korean Peninsula on a map, if you spotted her Asia.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    At least she knew that China was in the same general vicinity.

  • RobTreatPaine

    Tell me Mr. President… How many states are there in the union? Did you say 57 Mr. Obama?????

  • LakeLucilleLoon

    Anyone else picture her hitting herself in the head with her open palm exclaiming "Stupid Sarah, Stupid, Stupid Sarah"!

    • jim89048

      No, she doesn't possess enough self-awareness to know when she's wrong.

    • Steverino247

      No, but I picture me doing that to her.

    • Radiotherapy

      Nope, this psychopath is above humility and contrition. Has anyone ever seen her apologetic or conscience-stricken? It is one of the hallmarks of a narcissistic sociopath. In fact, I fully expect she'll turn this glaring ignorance into one of her victimization themes. One thing she is semi-adept at is turning lemons into lemonade — although at some point lemonade turns into piss,

  • bumfug

    That was just a one-last-time dig at Margaret Cho.

  • obfuscator2

    sssshhhh!! quiet down everyone, an opinionated, unemployed housewife has something to say!!!!

    • Rotundo_

      You forgot the magic word: an opinionated, unemployed *ignorant* housewife has something to say!!!

      • obfuscator2

        you are right. apologies for the omission.

  • Qatarded

    In what respect, Charlie Chan?

  • Anybody else want Barbara Bush to run in 2012?

    • DoktorZoom

      Only if she brings Jarbara along.

  • Mindblank

    If Palin is ever elected president of the United States, I shall enjoy the slapstick armageddon that will shortly follow.

  • Troglodeity

    And don't even ASK her about Mongolia.

    • FNMA

      Leave Trig alone!

  • LionelHutzEsq

    So, Palin is trying to play both sides, so either way, she can claim to have supported the winner…..,


    She is just naturally drawn toward the fascistic, controlling dictator when given a choice.

    My bet is it is a little of both.

  • metamarcisf

    Where I live, they broadcast the Beck radio show on a six hour delay. And yes, I admit, I listen to part of it each day on the way home. So I'm wondering if someone in the home office is going to try and "fuck" with the tape by editing the bit described above so as not to derail her presidential aspirations. I'm betting they leave it as is because, above all else, Mr. Beck is a man of integrity.

  • Steverino247

    Dear Sarah,

    Considering that we're still paying disability compensation to veterans who were injured fighting in Korea, that we still have service members within range of North Korean artillery (and machete range in the case of the Joint Security Area at Panmunjom), that Korea is the one of the few examples of how the United Nations showed any real determination to stop aggression (outside the sternly worded letter), your remarks should highlight to all voting age citizens of the United States that you are too fucking stupid to breathe, let alone be President.



    • x111e7thst

      Your disrespect of the next President of these United States has been duly noted and WILL be held against you.

      • Steverino247

        I'd consider it a great honor to be the top name on that enemies list. I've got my pre-execution speech all worked out: "I ask you to accept my love of Mamma Grizzly and that I be shot while my mind is still clean."

  • MistaEko

    Which Korea is she behind? Oh, all of em, Glenn!

  • BarackMyWorld

    If you listen to the entire audio clip in the link, you realize that the verbal fuck-up is the most coherent part of her answer.

  • And them there Ayshuns are all the time speaky speaky Ping Choi.

  • sherriawilson

    Is it wrong of me to hope she gets raptured up real soon?

    • zhubajie

      I hope the earth and swallows here, like the sons of Korah in the Bible!

  • rocktonsam

    In her defense, it was never proved which side shot down Henry Blake's plane.

    So her rage could go both ways.

  • gef05

    Is that like confusing "anus" with "Glenn Beck"?

  • Pragmatist2

    Aren't we already at war with South Korea?
    Isn't that where the TMZ is?

  • DemonicRage

    Confusing North and South only makes her more loveable. How many times have YOU forgotten where your car keys were, or mistakenly plugged your finger into the wall outlet instead of your I-pod recharger? We need a family like that inside the White House, instead of those arugula-eating, jets-off-to-Spain-for-a-vacation, Ivy-league educated snobs!

    • slappypaddy

      she and her spawn could not be stupider if they tried. and they're not smart enough to try. it stifles my mind that there are supposedly tens of millions of persons who believe that that shallow, ignorant, quitting grifter should be president.

    • Worthly Wokette Skum

      And how cute would it be when President Palin nukes the South by mistake. That would be positively impish.

  • DoktorZoom

    When it comes to peninsulas, Sarah isn't very fond of the Korean one, because good patriotic diabetics should use the American kind, also.

  • Oblios_Cap

    We need only to waken Godzilla. He likes taking out the Yellow Menace.

  • Sgt_Biyatch

    The trouble is, she was helped by the host, since he mentioned North Korea first. If he had asked, "what's your take on Kim Jong Il's recent attack on that fishing village in the Yellow Sea?", I imagine she'd respond very similarly to her, "in what sense, Charlie?" gem.

  • markusgarvey

    she has a degree in communications!..

  • PublicLuxury

    Sarah 2012.

    She's so good, she doesn't need a running mate.

  • chascates

    Any group of people who don't speak like us or look like us (white Anglo-Saxon Protestants) are clearly a threat to our well-being and economy. Since we can't kill them all, as we need some countries to make cheap products, someone should make a list of the undesirables.

    An 'Axis of Others', if you will.

    • zhubajie

      Well, this has been US policy for most of the last 60 years!

  • MaxNeanderthal

    Paris: "Well, I'm off to bed"
    Cassandra: "Sleep well"
    Paris: "Will I?"
    Cassandra: "No"

    Sorry, couldn't resist…………

  • ttommyunger

    First Sweet Sarah declares war on the McCain Campaign, then common sense, then logical thought, then language skills and now South Fucking Korea? How many Wars can this woman fight? I AM impressed; but not in a good way.

  • JackObin

    Sarah Palin is a complete idiot. Therefore, she will likely be preznit. I seriously doubt she knows the difference between north and south, let alone north and south Korea.

  • DoktorZoom

    Oh, hell, let's just call her the harpy that she is, and leave it at that.

  • See? She's just like all the other real Americans who didn't know the House majority had changed.

  • Worthly Wokette Skum

    I fully support Sarah standing in North Korea.

  • SheriffRoscoe

    Sarah Palin is proving she's George W. Bush v.2.0. God fucking help us all, with the retards who will be voting for the next president.

  • killbot

    Prez Palin would've made South Korea a smoking peninsula-hole by now.

  • killbot

    South Korea, North Korea. Potatoes, potah-toes.

  • killbot

    Her mouth goes as fast as her brain again. This happens so many times, it's numbing. She could walk onto the sound-stage with both birds flipped into the air, and her followers wouldn't notice.

  • killbot

    Her mouth going as fast as her brain again. Again. This doesn't make any sense. She could walk onto that studio, both birds flipped high into the air, and her followers wouldn't even notice.

  • comrad_darkness

    The 38th Parallel is Hard Work!

  • comrad_darkness

    Is Canada far enough away? I need to know before I get any sleep tonight.

    On the other hand, I bet Spice Grizzly can't find it on a map, so maybe hiding right under her nose, is the best bet. Sort of the Purloined Liberal notion.

  • transfatz

    "And we’re also bound by Prudence"

    Way to go Sarah. South Korean hot lesbo bondage action diplomacy!

    • trampndirtdown

      She thinks we should sanction N. Korea's actions also, too. Also. Refudiate.

  • Wait..what?

    She had a reverse-Angle moment thinking that some of them Koreans "looked a little Latino, not asian" so bombing either (or both) side(s) is perfectly fine.

  • Any reports in the Moonie Times about this little episode?

  • Oh for Fucks sake! Why is anyone even putting a microphone in front of this dingbat anymore.

  • Thedongsofwar

    Obviously,s she was referring to N. Korean resistance fighters

  • aious

    Morons would say something like this

  • mrpuma2u

    DANGIT wonkette I submitted this as a tip on the 24th while you fukkers were still detoxing/hair of the dogging and i get no mention?!?!?!? Ingrates.

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