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Badass mustache, badass partiesThe socialists who run the city government of Gainesville, Florida, have denied a permit to the Dove World Outreach Center for its planned International Burn A Koran Day party on September 11, saying that the city’s burning ordinance prohibits open book-burning. But USA Today reports that Dove World’s online community manager or whatever sent out an email saying “WE WILL STILL BURN KORANS” anyhow, ’cuz the only law that matter’s is Jesus’s law. So put that in your Fidel Castro caps, suckaz.

As your Wonkette has reported, IBYKD — née International Burn Your Quran Day — is open to anyone who believes that Islam is “of the Devil.” Participants are to bring their Korans and burn them at Dove World HQ — or at least that was the plan. But now? The church will either have to pay a fine for its indulgence, or develop a Plan B.

In other interesting IBYKD news, the event’s official Facebook page has turned into some sort of chat space between a couple of pro-Muslin and Muslin-neutral online friends who post Nina Sky lyrics and pictures of hamsters and rabbits, with a couple of randoms thrown into the mix. [USA Today/International Burn A Koran Day Facebook page]

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  • Einstein&#39

    You know who else liked to burn books…..

  • torera

    Somehow it always comes back to Nazis, doesn’t it. This time it’s DWOC playing Hitler. Well I hope “everyone who thinks Islam is of the devil” brings “their” Koran — why do they have one if it’s the devil’s? Anyway, here’s hoping for a put-’em-out-of-business air pollution fine.

  • anonymousryan

    Oh yeah, act like this has nothing to do with Gainesville electing a homogay mayor this spring. WAY TO BE PART OF THE HOMOSENSUAL AGENDA, LAURI.

  • Hedley Lamar

    America… Fuck Yea!

  • One Yield Regular

    Is it okay to bring a copy of “Going Rogue” with a Koran dust jacket?

  • Dashboard_Buddha

    Can we set fire to his pornstache?

  • Mickey7

    Apparently these bully boys ‘love the smell of na-Psalm in the morning’ (and yes, there are Psalms in the Koran, too).

    Does it seem to anyone else that there is a concerted effort to bring us back into the Dark Ages by theocons? Book burning? Really?

  • Aunt Fancy

    Buying a Koran to burn is supporting terrorism ye Patriots!

  • JMP

    If they burn the Korans, it’ll save good Christians from the danger of radical terrorist Muslims (which is of course all of them) by… um… something? Really, what do they think this will accomplish besides pissing people off?

    The only reason that I can imagine for this is that they are so crazy that in their belief in the supernatural that they actually believe this is magic, that somehow the Muslim god exists in opposition to the Christian one (even though they’re both the same imaginary being) and somehow burning Allah’s books will weaken them. It’s insane, and treats real-world religions like those from Dungeons and Dragons; but then these are the same ilk of people who wanted that banned because they thought that demons actually existed and the game got people to worship them.

  • ttommyunger

    Wake up, America! You do’t have to be a Nazi to be an ignorant, racist, knee-jerk moron. I am certain most of these illiterate, under-educated trucknutz have abslutely no idea who Hitler was. Frankly, if Hitler were alive today he would no doubt cringe at the comparison… He would also march these cretins right straight into the fucking ovens, just to be on the safe side.

  • forgracie

    Burning books will teach ’em, that’s fer sure. Cuz evrybody knows the scribes will toil for months re-writing them and then how will the Muslins memorize their devil psalms?

  • Rosie Scenario

    Dove World Outreach Center. Satire at its best.

  • bago

    Yes! Burn the tomes of the god of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob! Show them semites who’s boss!

  • iburl

    All them North Korans are of the devil, butt I thout the south ones were Christian. ??

  • weejee

    Books are hard to light. When these good X’ians meet-up, can we call in some fast flyers to lay down a little napalm to help get things a’burnin’?

  • Mild Midwesterner

    If you hate the Muslins so much, why would you own a copy of the Koran? I suspect a flaw in this plan…

  • Joehoya

    AP Style says Koran is spelled with a “Q” — so it should be IBYQD.

  • FMA

    Jesus, Paulie Walnuts has really gone bat-shit crazy. Must be the ‘stache…

  • smitallica

    Good for them. News footage of Americans burning a pile of Korans should certainly reduce the threat of Islamic terrorism.

  • McDuff

    The stupid, it burns! (Literally)

  • torera

    P.S. some of us are old enough to remember when certain Christianists burned rock & roll records. That worked out well.

  • Clancy_Pants

    I’d say a couple of “Korans” stuffed with TNT should do the trick?

  • Noodle Salad

    I know what your koranz is about, because I backtraced it.

  • BarackMyWorld

    [re=641628]FMA[/re]: I was thinking the exact same thing, but was going to throw in a Sam Elliot reference as well.

  • Autochthon

    [re=641598]torera[/re]: This Event’s obviously gonna be a Triumph of the Will…

  • JackDempsey

    1. Buy a Kindle
    2. load it with a thousand copies of the Koran
    3. burn in bbq pit
    4. watch U.Florida Lombardi trophy hi-lites on cable
    Go Gators

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    Snidley Whiplash called, and would like to sue the shit out of this motherfucker for defaming his moustache.

  • Crow T. Robot

    Wait…wait…I thought we were allies with Koranea…wouldn’t it be wrong to burn them? Or are we talking about North Koranea, ’cause I hear that little guy with the big hair is kinda crazy.

  • WarAndGee

    There is nothing in the Constitution that says we should burn books. Why do these Jesus Mullah’s hate the constitution and the Founding Fathers?

  • BarackMyWorld

    You know, so long as we’re burning books…I don’t believe in the Book of Mormon or supply-side economics. Can I just save time by lighting Mitt Romney’s book on fire?

  • Katydid

    [re=641612]JMP[/re]: Don’t be silly. Ya can’t burn dice, no matter how many sides it has.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    The Dove church could probably increase their book burning efficiency by maxing the memory of a Kindle and loading it up with a billion copies of the Koran. I don’t how well those things burn.

  • Katydid

    Hey! Sister just tweeted that they shouldn’t burn the Quoran, that it’s intolerant, stupid and unAmerican.

    BAWAHAHAHA! Made ya look.

  • Golfing OJ

    Bravo, cunts. I’m honestly glad my ma died in 2000 and didn’t have to see any of this bullshit.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    If I wanted to participate in the festivities, I’m not even sure where you would go to get a Koran. I know that WalMart sells bibles, but there sure aren’t any Korans next to them. And it’s doubtful these knuckle draggers shop anywhere else.

  • actor212

    Um, doesn’t burning a Quran mean actually going out and purchasing one?

    Which means that sales of Qurans are going to spike? (OK, more like “make a bump like the last heart beat of a gigged frog after he’s been electrocuted”, but I digress…)

    Which means more people are going to have prima facie evidence of Mooslem invasion?

  • plowman

    “…that the city’s burning ordinance prohibits open book-burning.”? Sounds like a job for the ACLU to me…

  • El Pinche

    Dear Terror Babies,
    When you grow up, please bomb Douche McHandlebars.
    -El pinche

  • freeradical

    [re=641598]torera[/re]: Exactly! they would have to BUY Korans in the homoislamicfacist bookstore. Which gives more moneys to the homoislamicfascists, with which with they will burn bibles (or Xtians?) Hope so!

  • Mad Brahms

    [re=641686]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: [re=641687]actor212[/re]: I was wondering this too, though some Muslim organizations do give them out for free at events like “What is Islam?” week on college campuses, and so forth. But this would require these troglodytes to have actually come *face to face* with Muslins, which is unlikely to have ever happened.

  • dedalus

    jes don’ burn ma ‘gita mo fo’s.

  • Whiskeybaby

    Will these illiterates also be burning irony while they’re at it?
    Also, Dove the cosmetics company should sign up to be sponsor.

  • Doglessliberal

    I cannot take much more of this. Seriously, the level of idiocy, bigotry and just plain evil in this country makes me want to start a nutting squad: a SWAT team with castration shears.

    Credit my husband for this idea. He suggested the name for the need-to-be-nutted be “nutter”.

    “That Breitbart…nutter; Newt Gingrich….nutter.” Etc.

  • WABishop

    As the Kiblan cartoon once noted, the book burning had to be called off because no one had any.

  • edgydrifter

    If they could just move their IBYKD party to 9/10, I’d have someplace to celebrate International Punch An Idiot Day.

  • Mad Brahms

    [re=641707]Doglessliberal[/re]: Granted, the Breitbarts and Gingriches are a fine reason to want to go a’nutting, but I wouldn’t take this group so seriously. Dove is a small, scam-tastic church know for attention-whoring and their actions are hardly indicative of anything beyond their own insanity, which, frankly, is darkly hilarious.

  • Norbert

    They should be able to pay off whatever fine pretty quickly if buddy up there runs his usual booth at the event offering “25cent mustache rides”.

    [re=641612]JMP[/re]: “treats real-world religions like those from Dungeons and Dragons” — not the worst idea I’ve ever heard

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=641718]Mad Brahms[/re]: but ONE FIFTH of the morans think Hopey is Muslin AND that matters to them in a negative way. (I loved the little fact that some large % think so because “of his words and deeds”. What the fuck does that mean? The see him whip out his prayer rug midday? What are Muslim words??)

    We have major political figures opposing a mosque, forgetting the First Amendment, private property rights, and oh, the little fact that the terrorists were religious bigots. I just want to hurl every time I read or hear news these days.

    ARGH

  • Katydid

    [re=641728]Doglessliberal[/re]: Oh, how I wish pollsters could follow up questions with, “What the fuck does that mean, lady?”

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=641739]Katydid[/re]: oh, yes, and interviewers. I hear time and time again these gaping holes in logic or statements that are plaine wrong, and interviewers just go on to the next question written on their list and ignore whatever the interviewee is saying.

  • Manos: Hands of Fate

    I’m going down to Gainesville today to donate a case of Korans for the bonfire — Korans that have been hollowed out in the middle and stuffed with toenails and cherry bombs.

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=641749]Doglessliberal[/re]: plain. (just plaine spelled wrong)

  • WhatTheHeck

    Fahrenheit 451

    …Bradbury’s vision of America is a pill-addled thought-free entertainment state of cowardice…

  • user-of-owls

    Why would anyone take a church named after a bar of soap seriously?

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=641721]Norbert[/re]: “treats real-world religions like those from Dungeons and Dragons” — not the worst idea I’ve ever heard

    Stopped clock / twice a day.

  • just pixels

    First they came for Harry Potter and I said nothing. (I think you know where I’m going with this.)

  • WABishop

    [re=641780]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: When is it 88:88 o’clock?

  • amaboman

    Why can’t these f___tards be like normal Christian conservatives and do something constructive, joyful and uplifting….. like protesting homosexuals at military funerals…. Fred Phelps needs all the help he can get. I grew up in North Florida and got out alive, with my sanity for the most part.

  • TeddyS

    I suddenly feel the need to bbq a dove.

  • GOPCrusher

    If you buy a Quran, don’t you automatically get put on the Terrorist Watch List?

  • cheeto_jeebus

    I just spent a few seconds sticking my little mouse “finger” click doohicky up his nose. try it it’s fun.

  • Mad Brahms

    [re=641811]amaboman[/re]: I have no love for Christian conservatives either, but Phelps, like these morans, is an aberration and not the rule. But I guess Dogless is right, even as I chided him earlier, that these frighteningly vocal groups are notable in the number of people who *don’t* condemn them and who support them with silence.

    [re=641728]Doglessliberal[/re]: Maybe he was eating falafel or something? Probably was because he actually wished people a happy Ramadan, whereas he should’ve actually addressed the muslins telling them how they were going to burn in hell, for eternity. (Side note: Didn’t W send Ramadan greetings once or twice? Anyone got a link?)

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=641867]Mad Brahms[/re]:

    1) I love felafel, eat it often, but I thought I was an atheist. Maybe I am a Muslin and didn’t even realize it.

    2) George Bush stated on several occasions that our war was not on Islam. They played tape this morning on NPR. But morans have conveniently forgotten that.

    (and I Dogless am female just FYI. Though maybe I am wrong about that, too)

  • wirehangers

    Back in the day, that guy’s mustache was called a ‘cockduster’.

  • lumpenprole

    [re=641612]JMP[/re]:
    When I had to read the Koran in school one of my classmates stood up and made a very big deal about the fact that she wouldn’t have the book in her house. Yeah, OK, she’s a pretty committed bigot, fine, let’s move on. But then she went on and on about how she set it down on the ground, far from her front door. She wouldn’t “let it in.” This went on for a some minutes. Chick was really spooked by a Penguin paperback at the end of her driveway.

  • JMP

    [re=641923]lumpenprole[/re]: If her god was so weak he couldn’t protect her from an apparently magical book, what’s the point in worshiping him? She should’ve just prayed for a protection from evil spell and cast in on herself.

  • steverino247

    [re=641629]smitallica[/re]: No shit! Deploy a PATRIOT missile battery near that place. No, wait. Give the boys a four day pass this weekend. Yeah.

    [re=641634]torera[/re]: I actually went to one of those when I was an undergrad. Pretty scary shit to see people that fucking crazy. I was thinking, “Oh, ok. This is why my Uncle Jack enlisted to shoot Germans in WW2.” Americans can be Nazis, too. We’re just not into armbands and volksmarsch medals, that’s all.

  • Katydid

    [re=641634]torera[/re]: We’re all old enough to remember that….wasn’t it around 2005 when they were burning Dixie Chicks CDs? OK, not records, but still. Next time, I’m wondering how they’re gonna burning .mp3 files.

  • lukewarm

    Why the hell do these guys hate Koreans, anyway?

  • Accordion-o-rama

    Why not celebrate by burning Koran CDs?

  • Sharkey

    [re=641766]user-of-owls[/re]: Aren’t these people the purveyors of the delicious ice cream treat-on-a-stick?

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