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Haw haw, Dipshit Magoo Fred Thompson should be the next comedian-senator and then Al Franken could retire and focus on his art, you know, maybe doodle a portrait of HOW MUCH EVERYONE HATES FRED THOMPSON. [The Hill: Twitter Room]

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65 COMMENTS

  1. HA HA HA A few feet away was the corpse of a 10,000-year-old Republican who died while trying to bilk money out of the Mammoth Hunters Association and using that money to buy prostitutes. This was not a sin since Spaceship God/Jesus/Holey Ghost had not been invented.

  2. Fuck you, Fred…we have a 10,000 year old senate majority leader that just bought a $65 million shooting fucking range.

  3. Did he ever think of the fact that the reason those 10,000 paleolithic personages did not survive evolution is because some 10,000 year old Democrat didn’t ban those hunting weapons? And what is a Republican doing acknowledging the fact that the earth is over 10,000 years old?

  4. Ha ha ha you old coot, please tell this to the Jersey City Police Chief whose cops keep getting knocked off by psychopaths with guns, your joke is so hilarious!

  5. [re=610381]President Beeblebrox[/re]: And even then there were no people in the Americas; the lost tribes didn’t flee Israel and get cursed with dark skin, as the angel Moroni taught, for thousands more years.

  6. Can I try a Fred Thompson style joke?

    “Well, Fred Thompson should KNOW from 10,000 years.” Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

    Humor like that deserves having a Clovis spear point plunged into one’s jowls.

  7. Heyuck, ayuck, yuck. Now tell the one about how it’s “Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve”. That’s another sure fire wingnut knee slapper.

  8. “Har, har, har. And 10,000 years from now, they’ll find my bimbo trophy wife’s breasts, they’re so full of silicone, har, har, har.”

  9. In related Wyoming news, Harry Whittington just issued a long-overdue apology to Dick Cheney for letting him atlatl him in the face.

  10. [re=610381]President Beeblebrox[/re]: You done nailed it, pardner. Fred outed himself as a fake conservative right there. Offer him a role on a sitcom and he might just any blasphemous thing.

  11. Did they also find the clay tablet with the picture of watermelons growing in front of Chief Obama’s cave? Man, that shit never goes out of style, does it?

  12. Not many people realize that the Mel Brooks/Carl Reiner 2,000-year-old-man exchange was based on conversations with Thompson.

  13. Wow, this went straight to #tcot, which is weird twat-speak that I do not understand. Isn’t that the tea-farty channel? Speaking of which, they need to update their twit/twat database.

  14. Oh yeah, cuz if there is one thing I hear my Democrat friends talk about all the time – and I mean every single minute of every single day – it is banning guns. Don’t spread this around too much, Folksy Fred, but the International Brotherhood of Socialist Unemployed People, ACORN and the UN have some serious plans to pry our guns from our cold dead hands very, very soon.

  15. WHEN SPEARS WITH LETHAL CLOVIS FLINT POINTS ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE SPEARS WITH LETHAL CLOVIS FLINT POINTS!!!!!!!!!

    Thank you.

    [Yeah, yeah, I know. Neilist. ASSHOLE. Take it as read.]

  16. [re=610387]JMP[/re]: Whoops. Should have read your post first.

    [re=610379]trondant[/re]: If “brevity is the soul of wit,” etc.: WIN.

  17. Obviously a crime scene. Freddy should get Briscoe and VanBuren to canvas the neighborhood, then McCoy and Leggy O’Toole can prosecute. Then D.A. Branch will explain: “As my pappy used to say, sometimes the knife is just there for the dinner.”

    DUN DUN!

  18. And next to the Democrat is the remains of a 10,000 year old Repub . . oh, never mind. It’s just Ralph Hall taking a nap.

  19. What part of the Constitution allows 10,000 year old jokes? It makes reference to free speech but no where does it explicitly allow Fred to speak.

  20. [re=610537]Neilist[/re]: Were you in court when the Supremes ruled on the “guns for all and all for guns” case?—

    –no harm, no foul..

  21. Not such a funny joke, Fred. What would be funny would be news that a mental patient related to Scalia or Thomas — who had recently bought an AR-15 with the hundred round magazine at a gun show in some shithole state of the former Confederacy — stuck the barrel up your ass and pulled the trigger until the ammo ran out. Now THAT would be funny. To read. On Twitter.

  22. 10,000 year old GOP primary ballot found. On it was a pictograph of a 10,000-year-old candidate taking off his glasses who couldn’t be bothered to actually campaign. #tcot

  23. [re=610376]chascates[/re]: See, here’s where the archelogical record mislead you. Actually, the 10,000 year old Republican was bilking prostitutes out of sand dollars in order to pay his annual dues to NAMCLA*.

    *North American Mammoth Cro-Magnon Love Association. Furries, all of them, even back then.

  24. Sarah Palin just inked that one on her palm so she can use it next time she forgets the punchline to the “Gee, John Kerry, what’s with the long face?” joke that never fails to get a ton of LOL.

  25. [re=610450]Extemporanus[/re]: You are most reliable with the goofy pix. I salute you on the USA of America’s birfday.

  26. [re=610643]Words[/re]: “Were you in court when the Supremes ruled on the “guns for all and all for guns” case?”

    In spirit, Words. In spirit. You know, kinda like . . . .

    Then I’ll be all around in the annual SHOT Show in Las Vegas – I’ll be ever’where—wherever you look. Wherever they’s a fight so people can exercise their Second Amendment rights, I’ll be there. Wherever they’s a lack of “cop-killer” bullets, I’ll be there… I’ll be in the way guys get mad and yell over the way ammo prices went up after O’Bama stole the election (and still haven’t come down) — I’ll be in the way kids laugh when they kill their classmates and they know they’ve still got 5 more pre-ban “high cap” mags in their “Hello Kitty” bookbag. An’ when our folk eat the stuff that Ted Nugent has killed and gutted hisself, I’ll be there, playing “Wang Dang Sweet Pootang . . . .”

    :::Sniff:::

    Sorry to get all spiritual on you.

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