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That guy who sees Dead Presidents whenever the veins in his forehead reach double the “safe size,” Rick Barber? He’s got a new insane campaign commercial. This time, he argues with his ever-present special friend hallucination (the ghost of George Washington) about all the bloggers making fun of Rick Barber being an idiot — you’ll recall that during his last frightening appearance in a commercial, Barber had no idea that his tax-hating patriotic wraith G. Washington was actually a freedom-crushing socialist who smashed an anti-tax rebellion by whiskey makers.

As for the rest of this parody ad, we would laugh more if the entire ambulatory voting population of Alabama didn’t appear at the end of it.

What kind of psychotic fills his campaign spot with Holocaust and Southern Slavery imagery as an … anti-tax pitch? This guy, that’s what kind.

Oh and good job making fun of GLENN BECK, teevee’s Rush Limbaugh. The slavery/Holocaust stuff is probably no big deal in Alabama, because lol blacks/Jews, but you don’t go mocking Glenn Beck you fucking twerp. That old idiot with the shotgun attached to his shoulder isn’t going to help you, either, because that old idiot couldn’t win his primary, either. [YouTube/Political Parlor via Wonkette operative “Michael S.”]

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  • slappypaddy

    clowntime isn’t over. it’s never over, it’s here and now, wrapped in flags, toting guns, and keeping company with the dead.

  • PabaBritannica

    Abe: Ye gods! the Confederates have captured me as well as my soul with a moving photographic device!

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    The guy at 1:18 – I just… I’m sort of speechless.

  • The Church of Realism

    You can tell he’s serious by the way the camera pans and tilts, that is some serious shit he’s lay on ya. There can be only one!!!

  • Adversary153

    I hope his next ad has him talking to Mel Gibson dressed up like the Patriot. And Mel can call him “sugar-tits”.

  • The Church of Realism

    [re=607604]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: So is he, I’m sure.

  • CrunchyKnee

    When is that state going to get covered in oil, then burn like the Simpson’s tire fire for all of eternity? Selah, also too.

  • PabaBritannica

    I just noticed the Bud Light sign in the back. Washington is totally behind the bar throwing down Natty Lights right now.

  • JMP

    “What’s it called when one person has to pay taxes that go to give food or healthcare to somebody else?”

    Dumbass, it’s called the government doing it’s fucking job; not slavery. And to the suggestion that excise taxes are OK but income taxes are illegal, I think there’s a certain amendment to the Constitution that has a little something to say about that.

  • PabaBritannica

    I tell you what…if Thomas Jefferson was here today he would probably say…”uuuUUUUGGGRRRR BRAAAAIIIIIINNNNNSSSSS”

  • ph7

    That’s a big mole they put on Lincoln.

  • RPPTT

    Is this arguing against the Confederacy in Alabama? Methinks that won’t play, especially in a GOP primary.

  • scooterKPFT

    I love how it turns into a zombie musical right after he approves of himself.

  • freakishlystrong

    Ughh. Enough with the Founders porn already.

  • smitallica

    “Slavery (-lavery-avery-avery!). We shed a lot of blood to stop that in the past, didn’t we? Except, of course, in this state, which actually shed a lot of blood to do exactly the opposite.”

    That sounds like ignorance and hypocrisy. Does it ta yew?

  • Johnny Zhivago

    [re=607610]PabaBritannica[/re]: Wouldn’t a patriot want to drink Sam Adams?

  • 311 truth movement

    OMG GUISE

  • Johnny Zhivago

    [re=607624]smitallica[/re]: Dang it, this Rick Barber is a closet Yankee!

  • Potater

    Much like the Bible, teabaggers have no idea what the Founders ever did or said, but actually learning any of that stuff would be politically inconvenient. That’s when they’d realize that their maddeningly irrelevant beliefs were considered old hat even in Washington’s day and age.

    In other news, Sexpot Ginger Prince Harold is on the telly. Ladies across the continent commence their panty wetting. How deliciously rrribald~

  • BlueStateLiberal

    Slavery for the red states? Maybe it’s actually a good idea for them to start re-paying their karmic debt.

  • Can O Whoopass

    Maybe Glenn Beck can recommend a good medication for this lil dictator wannabee or an arrest under Bush’s Patriot Act might stem his diarrhea of the jaws.

  • Katydid

    I’m one of those what you call atheists, so I don’t know the answer, but does his God that he trusts in really want people to die so much in war after war after war after war? Because this ad is mostly war porn.

  • Escape Goat Nation
  • Pompous Magnus

    I wonder if he knows the meaning of the word “hagiography.”

  • Dashboard_Buddha

    I wonder…will we have The Second Civil War?

  • Prommie

    Everything is slavery, to a libertariantard, except of course for slavery, slavery is the only thing thats not slavery.

  • Geogre

    This ad isn’t so much war porn as it is the classic “suffering hero” fantasy that some adolescents suffer.

    Children fantasize either of gaining super powers and clobbering their bullies (or sneaking into the girls’ gym) or of dying and having everyone weep at how much they miss good old Ricky Barber. The suffering hero trope is sad, and about as potent as a used condom.

    That’s what this is: “We’re victims! We’re victims of THEM. Now They want to make fun of me, but I have to fight because other people fought , and I’ll be martyred, too, but I have an army of icons.” The fact that the ad is filled with so many cartoon characters and demographic indexes and little symbols shows you all you need to know about Rick Barber’s conversation with reality: it’s one sided, at best.

  • crapshooter102

    We use to say Thank God for Mississippi, but now thanks to Ricky Babbly, we can now say, Thank God for Alabama. Hoo-Rah. By the way did I see an ATM machine in the background. Back in the ’70’s Alabamians said that was the first sign of the Apocalypse.

  • Mahousu

    I had to watch it with the sound off, so can someone tell me why he apparently shoves zombie Abe Lincoln out of the way when he gets up? Is he still upset about Farragut winning the Battle of Mobile Bay?

  • HandsomePete

    I liked the Faulknerian Man-Child at 1:18

  • Geogre

    [re=607649]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Second Civil War well underway.

    I’ve been thinking about assaying on the subject. The whole “culture war” is nothing but a civil war. Listen to any of those feebs and how addicted to military metaphors they are (starting with culture “war”). For the conservative movement, the enemy, since 1970 at least, has been a portion of the United States population. They folded into their paranoia the fundamentalist fixation on invisible possession and Satanic service to come up with a mithridatum of poison, where the drinker is invincible and everyone else dies. (Yeah, yeah… tone it down.)

    Anyway, just check them out: from Donohue at Catholic League to Donohue at Chamber of Commerce, there is no difference: “They (Americans) are the enemy.”

  • JMP

    [re=607620]RPPTT[/re]: Nah, see by comparing Slavery to paying taxes, he’s belittling the impact of slavery, saying it wasn’t that bad, only as bad as taxes; this will go over well in Alabama.

  • Chain Tattoo

    The cinematographic genius of Rick Barber rivals that of the mighty Skoal Rebel. In Barber’s case, the debt is to Hitchcock rather than Mamet. The theme of hallucination and mental dysfunction, examined brilliantly by Hitchcock in “Spellbound,” “Psycho” and “Vertigo” is revisited here. This time, however, the message is overtly political and slyly pornographic. Dead presidents speak to our hero about freedom, slavery, taxes, and self determination. This gives rise to an orgy of patriotic images: a group of sweaty white folks gather together, led in song by an aging 70s pornstar who sings a long-forgotten verse from the “Star Spangled Banner.” Meanwhile, images of war and conquest urge the viewer on to a teabagging climax where the theme of dead presidents is reprised, but now featuring necrophiliac fantasies of stiff white soldiers. In a subtle dénouement, Glen Beck appears, acting out a fantasy involving gay sex and dolls. Brilliant work by an angry white dude.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Maybe the third of my income that goes to state and federal taxes is a small price to pay for being provided an education, a job, security, and the economic structure (making sure people have enough money to continue the consumption that allows the economy to continue to function) that allows me to continue receiving the other 2/3?

    Oh, fuck it. Let’s just have government services eliminated, then I can have an extra $1200 a month to provide safety in public, provide and education to my children, defend myself from foreign invasion, and prevent health pandemics for myself!

  • Zadig

    [re=607649]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: It’ll happen. The only question is whether I can get fluent enough in language #2 in order to get out beforehand.

  • forgracie

    [re=607622]scooterKPFT[/re]: Like the Thriller video.

  • stew

    Apparently no one told him Lincoln was gay.

  • slithytoves

    I don’t think I can take any more stanzas of the Star-Spangled Banner. One is more than enough.

  • LittlePig

    [re=607666]BarackMyWorld[/re]: It won’t be $1200. It will be 1200 Ameros (or quatloos or seashells..)

    These nutjobs never connect that money is only money because of a government. What’s the conversion rate on those CSA dollars these days, Ricky Babbler? Does it to you?

  • x111e7thst

    [re=607647]Pompous Magnus[/re]: No.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    Was it just me or did Lincoln seem really reluctant to reply? He had to ask him twice, and even then, Abe took fucking FOREVER to spit it out.

  • Judas Peckerwood

    Rick Barber doesn’t scare me half as much as his army of singing zombies.

  • just pixels

    [re=607650]Prommie[/re]: They made you say slavery is not slavery, didn’t they.

  • just pixels

    At least a “Dick Barber” could keep a John Boehner growing too powerful. (Yes, I went for the dick joke. Not proud, but there it is.)

  • Aurelio

    Is that Tim James that he’s talking to at the end? Has Tim sunk so far in the world that he now does silent bits in other people’s political ads?

  • Cicada

    This is the greatest ad of all time, bar none. It has it all: dead presidents, an open mouthed Downs guy, an old getting misty singing the national anthem, a gun fetishist who never figured out the difference between his rifle and his gun, and the beautiful idiocy of Rick Barber trying to explain the difference between an excise tax and income tax to his mouthbreathing constituency.

    All I can say is: MOAR PLEEZE.

  • Geogre

    [re=607663]JMP[/re]: I want to know who Rick Barber’s owner is.

    If taxation is slavery. If “involuntarily working for another man” is slavery, and if taxes are slavery because Rick Barber is working “for” another man against his individual will, then I want to know who Rick Barber’s owner is, because he needs to control his slave better.

    You see, slave masters usually had ways of controlling lippy slaves who plotted revolt. In Alabama, for instance — just to pick a state at random — slaves who attempted to take up arms against their masters (i.e. run away or defend themselves when attacked) were tortured, mutilated, castrated, or (less often, due solely to the cost of the property) killed.

  • pdiddycornchips

    It doesn’t matter what this guy says or does. His name is Rick Barber and so he’s destined to win. Everyone in ‘Bama will assume he is the spawn of Haley Barbour, the boss hog of nearby Mississippi. No one, not even the newpapers, will notice they spell their names differently.

  • Deelzebub

    Abe, what is is called when one man is forced to work so another can get a free meal or medical procedure? Answer: slavery.

    Hey, dumbest of all asses, that isn’t slavery. You choose to work. If your hypothetical one man decides not to work (you know because HE ISN’T A FUCKING SLAVE, you inbred insensitive shit-for-brains), he can then be the recipient of the bare minimum of free food and medical care to keep him alive.

  • Hopey dont play that game

    I can barely wait until 2014 when I can go visit The United States of Jesus Reagan Patriot-stan on the southeastern coast of what used to be the USA. It’ll be like Mexico without a safety net.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=607646]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: The last time I got up the guts to watch Glenn Beck, it was all HoverRound motorized scooters, penis pumps and capsules to make you “larger.” The idea I got was that the average Beck viewer was morbidly obese and hung like a light switch.

  • WarAndG

    ELECT Rick Barber HE POOPS DIAMONDS!

  • Egregious

    This, This is the greatest, hottest mess, of conservatard cinema ever produced. Gather yee Oscars.

  • trondant

    [re=607613]PabaBritannica[/re]: I’m really concerned about the zombie visible over Rick’s right shoulder at the 0:51 mark. Specifically, I’m concerned that he’s starving because there’s nothing for him to eat there, and he’s probably really really hungry.

  • GOPCrusher

    The simple fact that Rick Barber chose to invoke the memory of Lincoln while running for office in Alabama already makes this laughtastic.

  • BlueStateLiberal

    I like the subtle Hitleresque theme throughout–we will rise again, look back to the glory of our great nation, it’s all their fault, etc.

  • Wisco

    This is going right into Texas textbooks: Lincoln fought the Civil War to end Nazi taxation.

  • Diabeetis

    [re=607650]Prommie[/re]: I don’t think it’s accurate to call Barber a libertarian.

    Besides, after the David Weigel fiasco, Barber and the rest of the Tea Party crowd once again see libertarians as pothead liberals who just happen to like money.

  • One Yield Regular

    Did I miss the part where Wonkette pointed out gun-toting maniac Dale Peterson both in the Army of Righteous White Southerners and sitting with Barber watching Glenn Beck? These guys would’ve looked great together on a float at the pride parade yesterday.

  • One Yield Regular

    [re=607792]One Yield Regular[/re]: Dangit. I DID miss that part. Sorry, Ken.

  • BobTheBuilder

    I love how this arrogant little shit gives the Great Emancipator a dismissive pat on the back as he shoves him out of the way.

  • Gun-toting Progressive

    You know, I was never a fan of avant-guard cinema, but this Rick Barber guy is a true genius. It’s like looking inside the head of the guy who stands on the highway on-ramp here in town, holding poorly worded signs.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Behind every anti-tax loon is a moron who is
    a) a self entitle douche who thinks that it’s gubbiment that’s been holding him back, not lack of talent, luck, skill and/or intelligence
    b) a dumbass motherfucker who can’t budget worth a shit
    c) an asshole who can’t hold a real job

  • Sparky McGruff

    [re=607735]Hopey dont play that game[/re]: You can scoop up nice lumps of the Jesus Tar from the coast, too. Cuz it would be comm-ie-nust for the feds to scoop ’em up.

  • SayItWithWookies

    It’s great how he resurrected Abraham Lincoln so he could pronounce his one ominous word, and then when Rick is done with him, he just cold shoves past him to continue his narration. So thanks Abe, for helping out with your gravitas — now get the hell out of Rick Barber’s way, you glorified hatrack.

  • scribethis

    [re=607604]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: and i thought i was the only one going to hell for snickering at that!

  • TGY

    [re=607675]stew[/re]: My thought also.

  • Dolmance

    Not to slur gay people, but he does have cocksucker lips.

    Peace… God bless…

  • Beowoof

    It is apparent that this guy is terrified that some black homeless guys are going to get a free sandwich from his tax money. After all, they’re probably just sitting around doing nothing but smoking crack all day and looking for ways to get into his pocket. It is slavery to make sure that he has roads to drive his car on, a military to protect him from terrorist, air traffic control that will help his plane not run into somebody else’s, prisons to keep all the bad guys in and the black guy running the whole show.

  • Guppy06

    If I recall, the Stamp Act was passed to raise money to pay for debts incurred from the French and Indian War, another “legitimate function of government.” Was that an “excise,” too?

    Fucker’s a Tory, ship his ass to Canada.

  • slappypaddy

    a link to a colorful map which may explain or illuminate, among other things, why so many white southerners are batshit racist, and why crypto-nazism flows through the nation like an underground river:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Census-2000-Data-Top-US-Ancestries-by-County.svg

  • tribbzthesquidz

    This guy has “Wal-Mart shooting spree” written all over his face.

  • El Pinche

    This ad needs more Jack Palance:

    ” Barber, pick up the gun…”

  • Ducksworthy

    Replace soundtrack with Randy Newman’s “Red Necks”.

  • bloatedwhitetruck

    Looks like Corky from LIFE GOES ON, joined the zombie army. Just to the right of the black guy there stands Corky. Or it could be Trig. A taller, more mature Trig. Yep, it is Trig, back from the future.

  • Cmoney

    That was just…wow. Takes a lot to addle my brain any further, too.

    I did like The Rifleman and marshal Micah appearing. Nice touch.

  • snowmizuh

    What do you mean ‘Southern’ Slavery? OH I forgot. Southerners, of course, are the sinners of history; Northerners always just and righteous. Next time you Yankee Pharisees are on the Upper West Side, perhaps you will check out this exhibit at the New-York Historical Society:

    http://www.slaveryinnewyork.org/

    Oh yes, and the Democratic party–always champions of equality. Let us not forget the Copperheads, those glorious Democrats of the North who never mocked Lincoln and nor lobbied for peace with the Confederacy. Nor shall we forget the gallant New Yorkers who all willingly volunteered in 1863 to fight for the cause of the Abolitionism. Those ugly reports of the New York Draft Riots–where protests turned ugly and degraded into “a virtual racial pogrom, with uncounted numbers of blacks murdered on the streets”—naturally are apocryphal and contrived by jealous, Southern revisionists. No, indeed, how pitiful the fate of this great nation were it not for the Democratic party of the past and their Progressive progeny of today. Truly, we would have long ago descended the depths of Sheol without them…

  • snowmizuh

    p.s. I’m pretty sure Seth MacFarlane wrote this ad for Barber. The Corky thing is his signature touch.

  • OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin

    [re=607953]snowmizuh[/re]: Yes, we already know the entire country is built on conservative whites-first supremacy, though I’m sure that was not your point.

  • stevnjessie1

    [re=607666]BarackMyWorld[/re]: from there side, a gun will provide those things for you.

  • Diabeetis

    Haha, Reason Magazine is making fun of him, too.
    http://reason.com/blog/2010/06/28/rick-barber-warns-america-we-a

  • Dean Booth

    [re=607652]Geogre[/re]: “Children fantasize either of gaining super powers and clobbering their bullies (or sneaking into the girls’ gym) or of dying and having everyone weep at how much they miss [you].”

    Me too! If I were Superman, I’d pretend to be Jebus and hover over the White House (after the girls’ gym thing).

  • imissopus

    [re=607953]snowmizuh[/re]: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

    Seriously, how many times do we have to have these conversations with the trolls here? The Democratic and Republican Parties of the 1860s bear no ideological resemblance to their descendants of today. The Democratic Party was stocked to the gills with racist Southerners who fled the party in droves and took up with the Republicans over the following century.

    It should also be noted that many of the New York rioters were poor immigrants angry that the wealthy could use money and connections to get out of being drafted, which was a problem in this country until the draft was ended in 1973. I seem to recall a recent president using his family’s money and political connections to do just that.

    And if memory serves the Copperheads were sort of like today’s libertarians: they didn’t want to have to do anything community-related — pay taxes, go to war, what have you.

    Hey, I can use Wikipedia too, and I see where it says 8000 New Yorkers volunteered for the Army when hostilities broke out in 1861. You might have pointed that out but I suppose you couldn’t include any facts that would undercut your argument.

    It should also be noted that last I checked, New York did not secede from the Union in order to maintain its slavery-based economic order. I know lots of people love to bag on New York for many different reasons, but Christ Almighty get over it already.

    Gaaaaaaah! The stupid! imissopus SMASH!

  • rmjag

    he represents the coffee-meth-viagra-masturbation lifestyle . it was a choice , and now look at him , he has the look of a typical 90 yr old drunk . he’s only 12 …

  • Upthruster

    Aparently Rick Barber can’t sing worth crap…..notice he leaves to let the old fart do the singing….

    Also, he forgot to tell eveyone that our founding fathers liked very much to wear wigs and fancy clothes while he trots around in 80’s red white and blue plaid.

    Morning in America again??? Was he even born during Reagan’s reign of terror, he looks about 22?

  • Beowoof

    [re=607953]snowmizuh[/re]: Really there are racists up north too? I can’t believe its true, I have lived up north most of my life and never have ever met a racist unless there transplanted from some conservatard state such as Alabama or Texas. Sarcasm off.

  • Saint Ronald the Divine

    Please join Rick’s Tard Korps now and help him him produce many more fine inspirational teabaggin videos. and please include moar Dale Peterson with guns!

  • Aloysius

    Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin’ there in your ghost manger, let this insane tea-bagger be from one of the Mossback counties in Alabama. You know, the ones that claimed they didn’t secede from the Union so they wouldn’t have to fight one way or the other? I promise that I will run twenty red lights in your honor. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Lord.

    PS More Dale Peterson vids, please.

  • Neoyorquino

    Mmmm. Rick Barber has a “hard man” haircut.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHpnsMBWD5U

  • MsQuasimodo

    The US military is the single largest employer in the US. It is the largest consumer of energy and the federal budget. It provides fantastic career advancement, health insurance, retirement, employment security, teamwork, from cradle to grave. Many young people enlist because they cannot find jobs in their own communities – it is a federal jobs creation program! It is completely supported by taxpayers.

    So the US military is simultaneously the most socialistic, commie institution in the US of A, AND is fetishized by conservatards more than any other institution. Not until this genius Rick Barber pointed out this intrinsic contradiction, did we know this. It is slavery to support our military! Who knew that our taxation is slavery, and therefore bad, and must be abolished, as well as the institutions completely supported by taxation? Or does he simply hate the troops and is a secrit Mooslim socialist commie in disguise, playing 11-dimension political chess, southern style?

  • bakeneko

    Sounds like he said “We shit a lot of blood” to me… Duzzitayu?

    “Savory!”

  • ellemme

    Late, but Dale Paterson cameo earns Mr. Barber’s sequel an A+ alone. With every other delightful piece of this film casserole, it’s, like, A+++++,+.

  • Geogre

    [re=607942]Ducksworthy[/re]: Indeed, do not play “Rednecks.”

    “Rednecks” is a satire on the entire nation. It doesn’t justify the south, but it makes a clear case that the entire country in 1973 was as racist as the south and that the rest of the country pointing at the south was unjustified. “Yes, he’s free to be put in a cage in the Roxbury in Boston….” In fact, the year after the album came out, the television would show the country that Randy Newman was right, as busing in Boston resulting in shooting deaths.

    It’s a great song, but, like all of his best satires, it has no easy way out for the listener.

  • Geogre

    [re=607953]snowmizuh[/re]: Ah, well, the “et tuque” argument.

    I don’t believe anyone was making the “Civil War was fought to free the slaves” argument. Had they done so, it would have been accurate to bring up the draft riots. I don’t believe anyone had made the point that the south is alone racist (you should see the fun we’ve had with Arizona, where snowbirds from the northeast have given the state it’s wonderful political cast).

    The idea, though, that this is “Democrat?”

    Just say “No” to drugs, man. The alternative parties from 1863… how are they doing now? It’s simple ignorance or deceit to try, even in jest, to tie a city political party from 1863 to a political party nationally, much less a political alignment, today. (Democrats don’t actually go to cell meetings and sign blood oaths. That’s something they lied to you about at FoxNation.)

  • Geogre

    [re=608066]Dean Booth[/re]: I’d go for the invisibility thing.

    This way, I could leave any meeting I wanted, go into the bank vault, get tapes on the Energy Task Force, etc. Of course, I’d need innosmia (? un-smellability) and inaudibility, too, but only at will. Otherwise, I think I’m describing being dead.

  • DemmeFatale

    I like to imagine how purple with rage all these trolls are when the ban-hammer descends.

  • WonderWomyn

    Guys… is this real…? It’s really come to this? A delusional man-child pretending to be on equal foot… no… giving ORDERS to our historical heroes? Really? This is American politics? Who can save us now. MY GOD.

  • 60,s child

    SLAVE TO THE GOVERNMENT….SLAVE TO THE GOVERNMENT…GIVE ME A BREAK!!!! Slave to the corporations and the insane life we try to live to support them and make them happy. We could bring them to their knees, we just need to ban together and do it.

  • daddio

    so how come George gets to be “Mr. President” and Abe is just Abe? And whats up with the shove?

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