The Muslins are coming to take over your debt crisis next, Greece.Forget the whole Israeli-Palestinian conflict. “Jordan is Palestine,” said Dutch guy Geert Wilders, leader of the right-wing Party for Freedom. “Changing its name to Palestine will end the conflict in the Middle East and provide the Palestinians with an alternate homeland.” Next time Palestinians look at a map they are going to feel so silly! Your country is over there, stupids! “If Jerusalem falls into the hands of the Muslims, Athens and Rome will be next,” Wilders also said, as he apparently lives in four disparate periods of world history simultaneously. On a related note, here is Rep. Steve Cohen (D-TN) sweatily dancing while some guys rap:


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  1. Uhhh… wouldn’t that be a lot like demolishing my apartment while I’m at work, but then changing Newark’s name to “Manhattan”, so don’t I feel like such a fucking asshole for complaining about how I don’t have a home any more? My city’s right next door! How could I be so stupid!

    Fuck you.

  2. And while we’re at, change North Ireland to Britain, Iraq to United States, Sarah Palin from dumb to smart, all goddman problems solved forever.

  3. So Israel just hasn’t treated the Palestinians shittily enough according to this guy; now they should steal the rest of the land they still have and just assume another country will take them in.

    Still, the idea should work just fine; like how after Ireland gained independence, all the Irish in Northern Ireland happily moved south and there was never any trouble in that part of the world again.

  4. I like the way Cohen “busts a move” by hiking up his belt in the first video. I’ve never seen uncomfortable guys dancing do this before.

  5. While we’re at it, let’s change Gaza’s name to Waldorf-Astoria, the Gulf Coast’s name to Sierra Nevada and petroleum to pumpkin pie. You know where to send my Nobel.

  6. Soooooooooooooo, the darling of the far right wing, Geert Wildthing has decided that geography no longer matters? That one of the few nations actually sympathetic to the west and to the US and Israel in particular should somehow make the ultimate sacrifice and accept the Palestinians, thus creating even more animosity?

  7. If white Tennesseans learn to dance, then Athens and Rome will be next. Fortunately Athens and Rome are safe for the forseeable future.

  8. Not to go against libtard orthodoxy or anything, but, uh, most “Palestinians” are basically exiled Jordanians and Egyptians (and the issue of exiled Jordanians and Egyptians). The idea that ancient Palestinians evolved and formed a society and nation in what is now known as Israel is, well, libtard orthodoxy.

  9. I GOT IT!

    Look, here’s the perfect solution, even better than my Pokemon battle…

    Sell. The. Naming. Rights!

    Think about it! We can have some company that’s, say, having a PR nightmare *koffkoff*BP*koffkoff* offer to spend $100 million to purchase the naming rights to the Gaza and maybe we can throw in the West Bank (Citibank is a natural fit) to the mix.

    So BP would have the right to call Gaza whatever it wanted AND it would help the Palestinian people AND here’s the beauty of the deal for BP:


  10. Well on the bright side, perhaps our conservative countrymen are not actually the dumbest bastards on the face of the planet. This new entry from the Netherlands casts an entirely new light on South Carolina and the Tea Party Movement in general.
    No worries though, when it comes to the stupid, we can rely on good old “American exceptionalism”. Right now, somewhere in middle America, Michelle Bachmann is no doubt warming up a giant can of dumb-ass, preparing to respond to the Dutch Boy.

  11. Not so strange an idea actually, especially if one considers that Jordan already occupies 75% of the Palestinian mandate territories, and that the ruling Jordanians are the interlopers that unlike the Palestinian people have absolutely no ties to the land. They are Hashemites who were put into power by the British around 1925.

  12. Lately it seems like the Dutch have been improving in their standing against Americans and Isrealis for worlds biggest assholes.

  13. Oh Steve Cohen, you remind me that white people are so cute sometimes!

    But not the Dutch. I mean, really, fuck those guys. They couldn’t even figure out how to stop the BP catastrophe for us, like Sarah Palin said they could.

  14. Before I talk about the wonderful congressional election in my home district, let me say this:

    By Geertrude’s logic, 60-some years ago we could have avoided this whole mess by renaming Poland “Israel”.

    This is seriously as creative as these colonial fetishists get: they had a mess of people who wanted a homeland, so Geert or his 1940s equivalent gives them someone else’s country. When People B predictably gets all pissy, the Dutch have the inspired idea to give them country C. Nothing bad could come of this, no sir!

  15. How about sending them to Dutchland. For the shoes and men who dress like 1992 Green Day, with skinny red ties, but don’t find it funny.

  16. [re=603463]Schmegeg[/re]: Well, I seem to recall a certain historical figure who wanted to rename it “Germany”, so let’s just go with that for the time being.

  17. This bad idea has been around for a LOONG time. I think I first read about it in The Jerusalem Post, around 1980.

    As for Athens and Rome, it’s matter of record that the Romans had *very* low opinion of the Batavians. Greeks despised Celts in general. Cannibalism, kinky sex, wearing trousers. You name, the Celts did it.

  18. [re=603463]Schmegeg[/re]: Actually, Holland used to be part of Spain. So it wouldn’t bug him at all if we were to rename it that, would it?

  19. [re=603426]MMS[/re]: Nope. I know that this is a popular conspiracy theory in Israel, but Israel conspiracy nuts are no smarter than American ones. Modern Palestinians are descended from people living in the Roman province of Palestina, who included lots of Jews and Samaritans.

  20. [re=603449]chascates[/re]: There is definitely an ultra-nutty faction in Israel which wants to conquer Jordan, too.[re=603442]clivel[/re]: Of course, in 1910, it was all part of the Ottoman Empire.

  21. what was trans-jordan is now jordan. what was sub-jordan is now sub-israel. what was critical thought is now crimethink. what was television is now prolefeed. what was war is now peace (ignore the screams).

    [re=603426]MMS[/re]: doubleplusungood duckspeak.

  22. [re=603430]actor212[/re]:

    I’m more enamored with the idea of Olmert and Abbas siting down to sling pokemon cards at each other, or, even better, Magic the Gathering duels.

  23. You call that dancing? Looks more like Cohen nervously playing along out of fear and almost bolting to run every time one of those scary black guys turns to look at him.

  24. [re=603464]Zadig[/re]: Stalin did create a Jewish autonomous region within Russia, called Birobizhan. It still exists! Supposedly the street signs etc., are all in Yiddish. But it’s in Russian Manchuria, just outside Khabarovsk, which is a border town with China. It is far, far, closer to where I now live (Changchun) than it is to Moscow.

  25. [re=603426]MMS[/re]: So because they are exiled Jordanians and Egyptians we should just go ahead and shit on them, cause why not? If they were exiled, or their forefathers were, they must be a bunch of subhuman goatfuckers. Problem solved!

  26. [re=603426]MMS[/re]: There’s truth in this, though Jordan and Egypt are themselves rather modern creations as nation states, and there was much movement of peoples and borders under colonial powers and the Ottamans. Sure, “palestine” is an imagine community, but no more or less so than Israel itself.

    The government of Jordan has a rather ambivalent relationship towards Palestinians, and something tells me our Herr Wilders didn’t actually bother to ask *them* first.


  28. [re=603491]jus_wonderin[/re]: Damn!

    Well, it’s not as if the Dutch don’t have a history of suggesting people who were part of the landscape should go to other “homes” that were conveniently renamed when those people caused problems, right? According to Morgan Freeman, or uh, Nelson somebody.

  29. you guys have forgotten the history of that area. after WW I, the British got a mandate to run
    a land area taken from the (losing side) Turks. this was Palestine and included what is now known as Jordan. there was no Jordan or Palestine in the period before the Ottoman Empire was partitioned, and the victors got the spoils.
    In return, the French took control of Syria and Lebanon.
    that’s how the victorious powers split up the local remains of Turkey’s middle east possessions.
    got it?
    so, the Dutchman’s idea is neither crazy nor new. This has been proposed before.

    remember, all this and more had been Turkish territory. When Britain, France, et al won the damn war, they got these territories. Iraq also. so look this up in the history books, kids, – it’s more historical and complicated than you think.

    and no matter, the whole area is totally hopelessly unsolvable anyway, no matter what the Dutch think!

  30. [re=603493]Zadig[/re]: [re=603504]bago[/re]:

    Jesus, I’m caught between geek joy at finding fellow freaks and a deep and abiding sense of shame that I am 42 and still play this game.

  31. [re=603426]MMS[/re]: Of course, if you want to get very technical, the Jews could also be accurately described as “basically exiled Jordanians and Egyptians (and the issue of exiled Jordanians and Egyptians)”

    That exile, or so I’ve been led to believe, has actually been a pretty fundamental facet of Jewish identity since basically forever.

  32. [re=603513]inedalo[/re]: Amen! Let’s spend what it takes for a “Manhattan Project” for fusion power ($2/gal gas tax?), then we can just let those crazy people in the Holy Land do all the unholy things to one another they so desperately desire to do…

  33. [re=603426]MMS[/re]: I think there are a lot of exiled Palestinians in Jordan, but, no, Palestinians are not exiled Jordanians, fwiw.

  34. [re=603513]inedalo[/re]: True. But this Dutchman’s idea–it’s sort of like your family getting together (without you) and deciding that the crazy uncle is going to live at YOUR house. Great for them and the uncle, not so great for you.

  35. Wilders never has any original ideas. Here he goes again copying the inflamatory statements of the following punks:

    “We are the government of Palestine, the army of Palestine and the refugees of Palestine.” Prime Minister of Jordan, Hazza’ al-Majali, 23 August 1959

    “Palestine and Transjordan are one.” King Abdullah, Arab League meeting in Cairo, 12 April 1948

    “Palestine is Jordan and Jordan is Palestine; there is one people and one land, with one history and one and the same fate.” Prince Hassan, brother of King Hussein, addressing the Jordanian National Assembly, 2 February 1970

    “Jordan is not just another Arab state with regard to Palestine, but rather, Jordan is Palestine and Palestine is Jordan in terms of territory, national identity, sufferings, hopes and aspirations.” Jordanian Minister of Agriculture, 24 September 1980

    “The truth is that Jordan is Palestine and Palestine is Jordan.” King Hussein 1981

    Go Geert! Tell ‘m like it is. Let them try to refute their own statements. lol

  36. [re=603578]mumblyjoe[/re]: I would not even have a problem being a palestinian for the rest of my life as long as my country would be as democratic as e.g. Sweden or the Netherlands. Btw what do us palestinians eat? I’m a vegetarian.

  37. [re=603585]houteklomp[/re]: Okay, snarkoff, because my point seems to have gone over your head:

    Trite political expressions of solidarity do not actually always mean that someone is literally claiming the identity of a given group. When Kennedy said “Ich bin ein Berliner,” he didn’t mean it in a “Where’s the Birth Certificate” sort of way, and when Walnuts! said the oft-mocked “Today, we are all Georgians”, he was not actually saying that the United States and Republic of Georgia were the same country. Sometimes, a trite political expression of solidarity is just that, a trite political expression of solidarity.

  38. Anyone in any doubt, need only look up “Black September”.
    In 1970 thousands of Palestinians were massacred by the Hashemite King Hussein of Jordan and his forces. Arafat claimed that between 10,000 and 25,000 Palestinians were killed. Even if that figures is somewhat exaggerated, the King of Jordan trying to keep control of the Palestinian territory he was given by the British, has probably been responsible for the deaths of more Palestinian Arabs than the Israelis ever were.

  39. Thinking back at my time as a toddler in kindergarten, you always had these disturbed kids not interested in any other toy than the one you were playing with at that moment or just destroying whatever paradise you made with your friends. I get the same feeling about the ME. Now that the Israelis have made a huge succes of their country, their neighbours want the same and if they can’t, they want to destroy it. The biggest ‘disturbed kid’ in today’s politics is currently president of the USA.

  40. I was trying to remember where I’d heard this stupid idea before, and when I remembered, I was sorry I’d tried. Ariel Fucking Sharon. Before he got religion and turned into a “moderate.”

  41. [re=603591]houteklomp[/re]: hahaha, it’s funny, because baselessly accusing someone of racism/antisemitism is hilarious, always. As long as that someone is a minority, that is; otherwise, it’s THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO TO SOMEONE.

    [re=603594]Simba B[/re]:
    Normally I don’t make replies like this, but seriously, an exception:

  42. [re=603605]Vulpes82[/re]: I dunno. I think maybe he belongs in the “Gather your armies” epic or the “Too Late to ‘pologize” video.

  43. Ya know, if I recall my history correctly, after the partition in 1948 the surrounding Arab countries refused to grant citizenship to the Palestinians (and the Palestinians didn’t want it anyway) on the theory that Israel wouldn’t be there long and the Arabs would quickly seize it back for their Palestinian brethren. I’m not sure why this douchebag would think anyone has changed their mind in the last sixty years.

    [re=603513]inedalo[/re]: remember, all this and more had been Turkish territory.

    Well Jesus, you go back far enough and it was Roman territory. And before that it belonged to the Assyrians. And before that…

  44. [re=603602]engulfedinflames[/re]: That’s how advanced I was and still am. You will notice I refrain from name calling, unlike a lot of other people here, as it only testifies to some one’s frustration with low self esteem. It also reminds me to the time I was a toddler in kindergarten and only the jealous and frustrated kids relapsed to name calling after 2 seconds into an argument.

    engulfedinflames, I didn’t know they had internet connection in hell.

  45. [re=603623]houteklomp[/re]: Ooooooo…….you’re too advanced to call people names but not too advanced to insult them. You’re so cool. I really mean it. I really do.

  46. [re=603588]mumblyjoe[/re]: [re=603588]mumblyjoe[/re]: What Kennedy meant was that not only would he stand with the Germans in Berlin, he would go all the way for them. Today however, Palestinians are being screwed left, right and centre, most of all by those that pretend to stand for their rights like hamas, hezbollah, jordan and iran. They don’t give shit about the Palestinian people, all they want is gain power and destroy Israel. I dare you to go and live among these so called ‘freedom fighters’ and remain your high opinion of them for more than a week.

  47. You know, if we would just change the name of Iran back to Persia, we wouldn’t have to worry about the Iranians getting the bomb.

    And I predict Joe Barton will propose this legislation in the next two days to take some heat off of him.

  48. [re=603591]houteklomp[/re]: Everybody in the Middle East has treated each other abominably, including players outside of th ME who were involved. Everybody deserves to be prosecuted and punished for the crimes they’re guilty of. This includes people acting in the interests of the US, Israel, the Palestinian Authority, Hezbollah, Iran, and on down to the florist on the corner.

    But believing, as you have said, that exerting friendly pressure on Israel to act within the boundaries of our common humanity is the same as attempting to destroy it — now that’s exactly the same myopia that has kept all these idiots fighting each other for the past three thousand years. Enjoy your idiotic fucking tradition.

    Lest anyone think I’m being anti-semitic, that goes for every side. The notion of American exceptionalism may well be the longest-lasting poison of the Dubya administration, and it’s part and parcel of this malignant faith-based approach to reality. And it just happens that, living here, the pro-Israeli version has vastly more opportunity to disgust me than its less-popular equivalents. They all suck and must be discarded if civilization is to transcend its lizard-brain phase and start evolving a frontal lobe.

  49. [re=603630]houteklomp[/re]: I think we need to ban you, and your unnecessary u’s…It’s favorite here in ‘meruka…we don’t spell favorite or color with a u, and tire doesn’t have a y…

  50. [re=603635]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Of course there is no doubt that we are all convinced by the noble intentions of hamas, hezbollah and iran? Am I talking to BHO in person here?

  51. [re=603623]houteklomp[/re]: Yawn. Another troll who wants to claim that conservatives don’t engage in name-calling, only the libs do that, wingnuts only want to engage on the issues, yadda yadda yadda. Bored now.

  52. [re=603637]mookworthjwilson[/re]: He mookie, howzgoin? Thanks for the support dude, but you shouldn’t be staying up this late, you know what happened last time and your mum wasn’t too happy about that, was she now?

  53. [re=603638]houteklomp[/re]: Thank you for making my point by arguing that the other side has no grievances and thus only one side has any legitimate claims. Menachem Begin and Anwar Sadat managed to rise above that — give it a try, you might find it refreshing.

  54. [re=603644]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Let’s face it, if the Jews and Muslims would just get together like good Christians as Buddha intended, we could just forget about these problems.

  55. [re=603644]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Nothing refreshing should be expected from the thugs of hamas, hezbollah or iran. Only when all the people in the middle east can voice their opinions without intimidation or fear of repercussions can there be lasting peace. As long as the overwhelming majority is still hijacked by thugs that use human shields in hospitals, schools and civilian homes for launching their rockets I would not waste one single breath in any peacetalk with them other than to buy time, in the hope that one day the people’s common sense will prevail and they will rid themselves of these thugs.

    In other words there is nobody with the right credentials that Israel could be talking to at the moment.

  56. [re=603652]houteklomp[/re]: You get high marks for arrogance and condescencion but you could improve a little on your didacticism. Plz try moar harder, also.

  57. [re=603652]houteklomp[/re]:
    Thank you for making my point by arguing that the other side has no grievances and thus only one side has any legitimate claims. Menachem Begin and Anwar Sadat managed to rise above that — give it a try, you might find it refreshing.

  58. Holland – the country that has it’s big neo-fascist party started by a gay sociologist.
    Maybe legalising cannabis isn’t a good idea after all.

  59. [re=603513]inedalo[/re]: After having such a successful run the first time, you can see why people would suggest the great name swap again.

  60. [re=603469]zhubajie[/re]: What kinky sex did my celtic ancestors indulge in? I must know, I did not hear about this, I was not brought up properly, I must keep my celtic heritage of kinky sex alive, but how can I do so, if I don’t know what kinks are involved?

  61. “If Jerusalem falls into the hands of the Muslims, Athens and Rome will be next.”? WTF? This guy does realize that Saladin is deceased, doesn’t he?

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