Also planning on making July 4 David Obey Skip Day.Recently House Appropriations Chair David Obey decided not to seek reelection after being in power for 41 years because he’s afraid of losing to some MTV reality show contestant. Now with a raging case of Senioritis, Obey doesn’t care anymore about putting effort into being a politician people don’t hate and came up with the ULTIMATE PRANK, cutting funding from America’s favorite thing to do, war.

Obey is threatening to put a hold on Obama’s war funding because the president is not working on getting funding to keep our nation’s child-hating teachers from losing their jobs, extend benefits for our nation’s job-hating unemployed, and continue coverage for our nation’s health-hating Medicaid and Medicare Queens. But really Obey is probably just doing this because he can.

Can you imagine America not spending huge amounts of money to fight war? David Obey is sitting on a beanbag chair in the back corner of the House floor right now, wearing sunglasses and smirking at his hilarious prank.

Robert Gates is super annoyed by all of this and warned that if he does not get funding by July 4, things will have to be DRAWN DOWN, so stop giggling at what David Obey is doing and get serious for a moment, Congress. If this keeps going to July 4, Gates will take the opportunity to remind us that America would still be under the yoke of THE QUEEN if it didn’t get funding from France for the War of 1776, and we wouldn’t have had the opportunity to play for a 1-1 soccer tie with England last weekend, would we?

Of course, it will in the end be impossible for America not to spend huge amounts of money to fight war, but hopefully this fight between Obey and Obama can keep us entertained until the Election of the Century, DeMint vs. Greene, starts to heat up. [David Rogers]

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  1. I see this guy’s posters on freeway underpasses all around San Francisco and Los Angeles, but if you ask me, he doesn’t look at THING like Andre the Giant.

  2. Take off the glasses, and Obey’s the dad from Family Ties; no wonder the aging hippie doesn’t want to fund the wars. But what would we do, baby, without wars, sha na na na?

  3. Would still being under the yoke of the Queen really be so bad? As the economy of North America became an ever larger percentage of the British economy over-all citizens of the colonies would have gained more and more influence and eventually even equal representation. William Pitt would certainly have made as good a deal for the Louisiana Purchase as Jefferson did. And we can reasonably assume that eventually the three largest cities of the Empire would all be on the American continent and so essentially North America would be Great Britain. Same result. Less wars. Am I wrong to even entertain this thought experiment?

  4. So, if Obey gets his way, the budget is held up until war funding is decreased and funding for things like education is increased. Gates says that if Obey doesn’t change his mind by July 4th, war efforts and thus the need for funding will be reduced. Obey is win-win!

  5. Always leave them laughing, Dave.

    But it’s time be pragmatic. Why not propose something that will get strong Republican support? Like abolishing Social Security, Aid for Depedent Chilfren, and/or the CDC and/or banning metric measurements? Just a thought.

  6. Bring all the troops home, all of them, and give them the task of cleaning up the Gulf.

    then make them all do R&D on sustainable energy. win/win

    War on fossil fuels!

  7. [re=600003]Ruhe[/re]: Less wars? The only reason the British Empire has fought so few wars since WWII (and they’ve been in a BUNCH) is that they’ve had us to do it for them. We picked up the global hegemon stick from the Royal Navy in 1945; if we were part of Great Britain there would have been no need to transfer it, but the stick would still have been flailed around just as vigorously.

  8. Cheeseheads. We’re always getting in the way and obstructing something. If it isn’t the war in the middle east it’s Chicagoland tourists dumping refuse in our backwoods. And you’d attack us for it if you could, but you can’t, because we’re America’s richest supply of liberal right-wing tree-hugging bible-beating heathen conservatives and each of us owns twenty-three rifles.

  9. If it is so easy to force a draw down of troops, why hasn’t it been done before?
    I call BS.

    “War is not healthy for children and other living things.”

  10. [re=600024]JMP[/re]: Heh. Imagine the U.S. Navy being part of the Royal Navy. The Argentine War would have lasted about a week. The Brits did that shit while being outnumbered 5-1 and at the end of an 8,000-mile supply chain.

  11. Congratulations, Mr. David Obey! This effort entitles you to ONE (1) free delight from Nappyduggs’ “Cho Chi Wa Do House of Ancient Pleasures.”

    *Offer expires the minute you roll over, if you catch my meaning.

  12. The one sane person left in America? Why not just have fake wars on fake reality TV shows pretending we’re fighting all the people Red Staters love to hate (Muslims, Eskimos, the list could be endless). The ratings would be huge, and it’d all be funded by the TV ads.

  13. I myself am constantly surprised that it only costs every man, woman, and child in America $2500 yearly to bomb innocent civilians and alienate the locals with robot planes.

  14. War isn’t something America does. War is something that society does, always has done, always will do. Everything else is just to support war, or an interlude between the last war and the next.

    Did your blood run cold last night when Jon Stewart, speaking of Afghanistan and its supposedly new-found mineral wealth, said, “You will never not know war.” Mine did.

  15. Laugh at Greene all you want, but why didn’t you take the initiative and get yourself nominated for the SC senate seat? Bet you didn’t know it was that easy. Now who looks dumb?

    The debate should be awesome. Greene will spend 30 seconds on each question: 20 seconds of awkward silence, followed by “yes,” then 9 more seconds of awkward silence. Rebuttals, of course, will have to be abbreviated (i.e. just awkward silence).

  16. I know the focus is on Afghanistan, but why are we still keeping a hundred thousand troops in Iraq, for crying out loud? Let’s get them the hell out of there and let this asshole and his friends whine about how Obama took away their victory right at the point it was within reach. Actually we should just send him and the other bastards who want us to stay there to do whatever they feel is necessary — that would pay for itself real quick.

  17. [re=600022]twowheeljunkie[/re]: That hippie quote is way too cheesy; “C’mon, War, good god, y’all, what is it good for? Absolutely nothin’!” is much better.

    [re=600049]V572625694[/re]: War… war never changes.

  18. Well back in 2002 the wingnuts told us that the Iraq occupation would only cost us about one or two billion, on account of all the oil there paying for everything else. I think we got that covered. Pull out!

  19. Giving money to the states for education is just another bail-out. BAIL-OUTS BAD! TAX CUTS GOOD! BOMBING GOOD!*

    *Quote from actual RNC ad. I’m guessing.

  20. Greene is a more serious candidate than that Real World: Boston jerk-off.

    Also, if the Tea Party &/or Religious Right, doesn’t torpedo Duffy in the primary for not having attempted to cajole Genesis — she was the lesbian (bisexual?) castee on RW:Boston — back to the sweet, sweet man-meat, then all their rhetoric is bullshit & all they want is power. & government jobs. Those horrible, no-good, very-bad government jobs.

    In other words, fuck a right-winger.

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