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Always with the fake British accents and the Guy Fawkes masks, the Paultards are. But there is a Reason why Tea Party Baggers are putting new embarrassing home videos on the YouTubes: The Man is trying to find The Leader of the Teabaggers, so as to imprison this Brave Knight in a Darke Tower of Dragon Poop. If the Teabaggers post enough YouTubes of themselves repeating the Ancient Rune “I am the Tea Party Leader,” the tower shalst be burninated, and the *true leader* (a hobbit) set free!

Not even making this up:

“Big Government has learned that Clintonistas are plotting a ‘push/pull’ strategy. They plan to identify 7-8 national figures active in the tea party movement and engage in deep opposition research on them. If possible, they will identify one or two they can perhaps ‘turn’, either with money or threats, to create a mole in the movement.

Also, these people are practicing for some all-night sexytime on Chatroulette:


David Lynch made this one.


Uhh, looks like David Lynch made this one, too.


It’s just a David Lynch art project, this whole thing, isn’t it? ISN’T IT? Like that RABBITS web movie?! Please?


SAY YOU ARE THE TEA PARTY LEADER, ya fuckin’ kid. Or no more ‘puter time! Mama is getting ANGRY.

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  • Big Liver

    I am Spartacus!!!

  • CrunchyKnee

    I am Malcolm X?

  • Mr Blifil

    I am the Tea Party Leader. I AM the Tea Party Leader. I am THE Tea Party Leader. I am the TEA Party Leader. I am the Tea PARTY Leader. I am the Tea Party LEADER

  • Pandy

    Now what was Keith Olberman saying about this tea party thingy not being diverse? I guess he was wrong! There’s a kid in one of those video, so there!

  • Mr Blifil

    Kill. Fuck. Kill. Kill. Fuck. Marry.

  • freakishlystrong

    That last guy, the one from Missouri? Yeah, him I believe, he looks like he’s on disability, social security and Medicare.

  • Citizen Kitteh

    I’m really enchanted by this, despite the inspiration being based on some paranoid belief. These folks are putting the “party” into the Tea Party!

  • The Church of Realism

    Isn’t that like saying you are King of the Hobos?

  • rmontcal

    This is just so frustrating for me, because each time I think that I know who the Tea Party Leader is, there is a new video with someone else claiming to be the Tea Party Leader and now I just don’t know what to think.

    This reminds me of the confusion that I felt that one time when I made out with two different girls in the same evening.

  • TGY

    Today, we are all Fawked.

  • rmontcal

    [re=521693]freakishlystrong[/re]: And it looks like his webcam was made by his own hands out of toothpicks and poop.

  • Come here a minute

    Yo soy el líder de la fiesta de té.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    I am getting a little grossed out.

  • JMP
  • rmontcal

    Because their one line takes about 2 seconds to say, but that each clip is like 10 seconds long, I kind of think that in each and every case, these people are hitting record and then totally freezing up. They stare into the camera thinking, “Dammit, what was that line again? Something like, “I am the WalMart greeter?”

  • mookworthjwilson

    I AM RETARDACUS!!!

  • Chickensmack

    Fucking Tea Partiers were so drunk on tea, they dropped their flags on the ground.

    God damn flag dropping sons of bitches.

  • JMP

    [re=521698]TGY[/re]: It’s funny that they’ve taken on the Guy Fawkes masks based on V for Vendetta, because of the delusion that they’re fighting for freedom. Someone should tell them that Alan Moore based the fascistic government in the book on his fear of where Thatcher was leading the UK (and to a lesser extent, Reagan for the US).

  • rmontcal

    [re=521706]Chickensmack[/re]: Lookin like a fool with their flags on the ground.

  • Way Cool Larry

    Isnt that child abuse???

  • BaconTime

    Ah yes, the famous capture of the Spartans wherein the rebel forces posted video responses on youtube and went back to their basements, err…were mass crucified. Same thing basically.

  • petehammer

    I wonder if this is actually some brilliant democratic plan to destroy the tea party movement. If everyone is claiming to be leader, the actual, egotistical leaders will start losing their poop and eventually this whole thing will fracture. Given HCR, I doubt this.

  • qwerty42

    Bill Clinton is their enemy now? Haven’t they heard about our socialist kenyan nazi president? mooslim too, I forgot that. Anyway, if I know this, why don’t they? Or is this just those kooks at “big government”

  • doxastic

    Is this Brietbart’s takedown of the entire left, or has the three weeks to settle our affairs not yet expired? Wake me up when the reckoning begins.

  • coolcatdaddy

    If this is Sparticus, it needs moar naked men and booobs.

  • Downtheroadapiece

    Diabeeeeeeeeeeeeetus!

  • tootsieroll

    Needs moar demon sheep.

  • WIDTAP

    So, choosing leaders, is there a process for that or something?

  • Downtheroadapiece

    [re=521713]doxastic[/re]: I’m just holding out for the Rapture. It sure will be nice to be rid of that lot.

  • Sleeves

    [re=521701]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Gosh yes…I imagine something truly misanthropic—and so, self-loathing—in the propagandists yanking these chains. Awful.

  • Crank Tango

    Well, since we can’t figure out who the real leader is, and since I am not going to waste my time watching the videos, I say we kill all of them, twice, burn their corpses, and sprinkle the ashes on my beet fields.

  • El Pinche

    Santy Clause apparently was on the space shuttle .

  • Red Zeppelin

    Are they intentionally trying for the title of the most unnattractive political movement ever? Cause they are well on their way.

  • Manos: Hands of Fate

    [re=521712]qwerty42[/re]: I’ve gotten so used to AM radio creeps screaming about how we got a no-good alien socialist in charge, I forgot how flipped out everyone was at one point about a southern-fried good ol’ boy who was about to set up a police state and take everyones guns.

    The Democrats could put a Great Dane puppy in office and there would be books about how the puppy is comin after our guns and freedom. Wild country this America.

  • Prommie

    I keep telling youse, these people have over-active fantasy lives! They really do, in their little brains, think they are engaged in a Bold and Brave Struggle against Tyranny and Oppression, and that this Brilliant Ruse of hiding their real leader by all claiming to be The Leader will confound and foil the forces of oppression even now banging on their cellar doors. And yes, they do capitalize Important Words, even when only thinking them.

  • SayItWithWookies

    They’re being oppressed by the Clinton administration now? These folks are retroactively repressed and proactively stupid.

  • doxastic

    [re=521721]Downtheroadapiece[/re]: Sometimes I wonder if the Rapture isn’t just a hoax to get our hopes up, only to dash them whenever we notice that Kirk Cameron hasn’t disappeared yet.

  • elburrito

    Fuck ops and blackmail. A pack of HoHos and a tin of chew would be enough to turn these patriots.

  • Prommie

    The Libtard equivalent of this type would be the ever-hyperventilating William Rivers Pitt.

  • Sleeves

    [re=521732]Prommie[/re]: Oh, no question. That is doctrine, and reminds me instantly of the Israeli yankers’ work in this country…their exploitation of paramilitary pretension.

    Certainly gets the attention of public office holders.

  • imissopus

    The comments at Big Government are, as always, priceless.

  • Starrigavan

    I thought the Mad Hatter was the Tea Party leader… or was it the White Rabbit?

  • jetjaguar

    I want that kid’s shirt.

  • Downtheroadapiece

    [re=521734]doxastic[/re]: Hmm. Food for thought indeed.

    Though, maybe God’s got an off by one error working. Boner’s gone but we’ve still got ‘ol Mikey Seaver walking amongst us.

  • Downtheroadapiece

    [re=521739]elburrito[/re]: Make that flavored chew and you’ll be on to something.

  • JMP

    [re=521734]doxastic[/re]: The wrong Growing Pains alum killed himself.

  • saralovesyou

    I love that they simultaneously think that the “big government” is focused on them enough and organized enough to evilly profile their leaders, and yet Keystone Kops enough to be like “OH! That’s the leader!” and run in the direction of the maker of a Youtube video, knocking each other over as they redirect towards the maker of the next video (and so on).

  • TheCoolestGuyInTown

    This going to get bizzare. The videos are going to quickly become a mix of people saying they’re the tea party leader; ironically to make fun of them, made up like toothless, illiterate Hillbillies and Klan members. Then there’s going to be the actual toothless Hillbillies and Klan members that will through in other messages like, holding a gun & hinting at revolution. I give it a couple of days till someone is holding a noose…

  • sati demise

    The real leader is the old guy ’cause his video was made in 1953 and has been teleported to the present day.
    Same guy got Reagan elected.

  • Prommie

    [re=521763]TheCoolestGuyInTown[/re]: Have you searched youtube for “noose” yet?

  • Gopherit

    Jesus fuck, was that last guy broadcasting from Moon Base Alpha? What’s with all of the static in the video?

    I can’t wait until this meme turns into real self-aggrandizement and they start throwing punches. “No, I AM THE TEA PARTY LEADER, MOTHERFUCKER!!! BOAW DOWN TO ME!!!”

  • Redhead

    Right. Because this will turn out just like the movies, and if (for some bizarre reason) the gubmint (ie, the Clintons, since apparently they’re a bigger threat than that Kenyan lion guy now) does decide to arrest the leader of the Teabaggers, they will look at this and get all confused and give up… instead of just, you know, arresting all of the people claiming to be leaders.

  • imissopus

    [re=521734]doxastic[/re]: I have a theory that once all these nutjobs started hoping for it and he got a good look at them, God called off the Rapture and never bothered to tell anyone.

  • pampl

    I can’t wait until a someone with a tanner complexion posts one of these and the tea party collapses into civil war

  • S.Luggo

    Madam, I am Adam.

  • Litlebritdifrnt

    The dude in the last one looks very much like the naked fat guy in front of the computer picture that Wonkette loves to use so much. Wonder if its him?

  • Internally valid

    So the Clinton administration is going to dig up dirt on the Tea Party leaders and smear them? Wouldn’t being called the leader of these clowns be smear enough? I mean look at these people.

  • Starrigavan

    The one with the kid is perfect. None of these people want the government telling them what to do, but this kid is forced to say something he clearly doesn’t want to. So that’s freedom for these idiots. Forcing others to say what you want them to say. Got to love it.

  • PsycGirl

    [re=521706]Chickensmack[/re]: and to think we were THIS CLOSE to having an amendment that authorized the death penalty for flag dropping. Or something like that.

  • Norbert

    Holy shit it all makes sense now … Wilford Brimley WAS Moondog, Moondog was Brimley

  • Hello Sunshine

    [re=521707]JMP[/re]: Plus Guido Fawkes was a Catholic, which surely makes him part of the original worldwide conspiracy to suppress THE TRUTH to support THE MAN.

    Mind you, I’m pretty sure they’d all approve of Mr Fawkes’ latest incarnation, a right-wing libertarian loon with numerous drink-driving convictions who hates Gordon Brown, socialism and, apparently, life itself: http://www.order-order.com

  • One Yield Regular

    [re=521704]rmontcal[/re]: And amazingly, not one of them so far is reading it from a note scribbled on his or her palm.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    Child indoctrination lives, and it extends from the flying spaghetti monster all the way to the socialist marxist communist naziist gubmint. Say it! SAY IT!!!

  • Autoo

    Needs moar indians; less chiefs.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    And it appears that some folks missed the Martha Stewart episode where she discussed the hanging of picture/photo frames on the walls. I bet if you checked in those guys’ linen closets, their towels would be a hot mess, too.

  • proudgrampa

    Ich bin ein Teabag.

  • DustBowlBlues

    [re=521707]JMP[/re]: Fuck history. It’s as meaningless to The Teabaggers as reality.

  • comicbookguy

    Looks good on a resume:

    Tea Party Leader (2009-present)
    Roles and Responsibilities: single-handedly stopped healthcare reform through creative use of signs, slogans, and short youtube videos. Leader of a nationwide revolt against taxes, communists, and Kenyans without valid birf certificats. Results include balanced budgets, restored freedoms, and more guns in Starbucks.

  • DustBowlBlues

    [re=521733]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “retroactively repressed and proactively stupid.”

    Kudos.

  • Extemporanus

    Looks like Log Lady’s checkin’ out some hawt and dirrrty Jesus porn on the ol’ Walmart ‘puter, there. I wonder if her, ahem, assistant was too? Nothing like a little mother/son monkey spankin’ to strengthen those familial bonds!

    Also, my wife has those same pajamas.

    [re=521692]Mr Blifil[/re]: “Kill. Fuck. Kill. Kill. Fuck. Merry…Christmas!”

    [re=521749]jetjaguar[/re]: You can have his shirt when you pry it from his cold, dead mouth.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Is this an attempt to taunt the liberal elites with the Teabaggers ersatz populism? Are they proving something to us? If so, what the fuck?

    (I’m assuming anyone using full sentences in which all words are spelled correctly and those who use “in which” in said sentences are automatically included in the definition of liberal elites. Congratulate yourselves, elitist wonkeratti).

  • Extemporanus

    [re=521753]JMP[/re]: I WANT MY BONER BAKC!!1

  • DustBowlBlues

    [re=521852]comicbookguy[/re]: You forgot “hates muslin, willing to wear polyster only.”

  • DustBowlBlues

    This just in: Tamryn Hall, formerly news partner of my pretend boyfriend, David “You’re Welcome” Shuster, is officially a commie, Kenyan, muslin lover. She exposed her treasonous thoughts by pronouncing “nuclear” correctly.

    MSNBC is dangerous to the freedoms of Teabagging Patriots.

  • TVarmy

    Rabbits made me ascared to sleep at night. If I watch these, will I ever sleep again?

    By the way, congratulations, Tea Baggers. Your party is now even more divided than before. There are now over 9000 discrete units, each with their own leader.

    I really don’t get this, but at least they’re having fun playing “politics” while we wrap up healthcare.

  • JMP

    [re=521852]comicbookguy[/re]: It can go right under “Time’s Person of the Year, 2006”.

  • comicbookguy

    [re=521903]JMP[/re]: Lest we forget “Candidate for California Governor, 2003”

  • Aloysius

    Why don’t any of these people want to be Tom Joad? Too commie?

  • Rajul

    Have these fucking fucktards ever had one fucking original fucking idea in their pathetic, fucktarded lives? Next thing you know they’ll all take off their clothes and jump in a big homo butt-fuck daisy chain pile-up because they saw it on South Park (and also are gay).

  • Accordion-o-rama

    Deutschland uber Alles is the Tea Party lieder.

  • bigfatpantload

    I just weep for this country.

  • PickneyPinchback

    So exactly what are the boundaries of this Teabagland these fine people wish to be the rulers of?

  • Poo Flinger 69

    [re=521852]comicbookguy[/re]: love it you are the funniest!

  • skutre

    TROGDOOOOOR!!1!!

  • loupgarous

    Gee. Didn’t you wonderful, tolerant liberals get the memo from Hillary?

    Dissent is patriotic.

  • loupgarous

    Dissent is STILL patriotic. Even when patriots are doing it (now).

  • loupgarous

    I just noticed that you use the obscenity “teabaggers” to describe people with whose politics you don’t agree.

    And after all that whining and puling about people questioning the masculinity of liberals. (Of course, I’ve never questioned the masculinity of Hillary Clinton, Bella Abzug, Barbara Boxer or Nancy Pelosi. Not even a little.)

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