Wonkette’s annual CPAC attendee friend Garrett Quinn, who is insane for still going to these things but great for sending us the laffs, has delivered the first batch of terrifying furry photos from Day One. They depict an astroturfing eagle and a monstrous grey squid-elephant walrus fetus that isn’t Dick Armey. (Maybe.) Six demerits to each from Mittens, we guess? UPDATE: My god, is it actually Cthulhu??

Oh, sorry, this isn’t a furry, he isn’t even wearing his human costume yet.


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  1. Since “elephant” is letting us see his human hands anyway, why not go ahead and prop up that trunk in an upright, “triumphant” position? Either that or incorporate a few different materials into the costume next time. I hear styrofoam works.

  2. [re=515401]gurukalehuru[/re]: On the “American Solutions” web site “general chairman” Newt Gingrich, in the “about” section, uses the same Einstein quote of about insanity used by Joe Stack. Coincidence?

    I dutifully reported this to the wonkette tips department, and expect to be ignored, just like in real life.

    Oddly enough, I have some hours in a PA-28-140.

    Remember to thank our brave troops.

  3. If this place was bombed, and I’m not advocating violence, but if it were, we could raise the nation’s IQ by 50 points easily.

    Golf shoes, obviously.

  4. [re=515487]Extemporanus[/re]: And Photobucket will sell you a mug with that on it, too. The picture, not the semen or tears.

    [re=515490]coolcatdaddy[/re]: Shhh…and don’t ask to see his birth certificate either.

  5. [re=515436]bfstevie[/re]: NEWT GINGRICH DID IT! Tipster/commenter bfstevie writes, “Saw the ‘American Solutions’ furry on the Wonkette. Turns out this is a ‘tri-partisan citizen action network’ whose General Chairman is Newt Gingrich.”

    You got props!

  6. I don’t care what *they* call that grey blobby thing. *I* think it’s a Squidephant. The cheap shoes are a dead giveaway. No Fail Whale worth his blowhole would be caught DEAD in those fucking retarded shoes.

  7. 1. Someone get that poor bald eagle some decent tights from Wolford! Expense be damned, no living creatuer should be condemned to wear those awful yellow things!
    2. That elephant (assuming that is an elephant) looks clinically depressed. Break out the Prozac!

  8. [re=515694]Maddow Loves Cox[/re]: I was doing my best Rahm.. However, you are correct–it’s ‘Fucking Retarded’ the Fail Whale.

  9. The highlight of the event will be of course when the furries alternate blowing newt gingrich (he’ll marry one of them, he’s got a lot more hypocrisy left in that giant head with the evil, tiny face) and dick cheney will demonstrate the christian compassion of the right by torturing some unemployed black guy they dressed up like obama…ah, conservatives, they’re a lot more interesting when they get off of their meds and into their weird furry and “patriot” costumes. Come to think of it, is it any surprise that the GOP senators once bukkakied on General Patreaus’ dress uniform? weird costume fetish, indeed.

  10. I recognize my sons shoes sticking out from the sad deflated gray blob-thing..he thought he was gay so I wallpapered his room in a nice Palin print (GOP endorsed) and now he’s just fucking crazy. Its for the best.

  11. Wow now we know rappers learned how to be potty mouths from the educated foul mouth libs who were their teachers in schools.
    Please will all you assholes promise to move to iran when we elect sarah palin?
    Dont we all love how fast america woke up and saw what morons you so called educated liberals are?
    If you liberal progressives ever had to earn an honest living you would starve like the ignorant little piglets you are.

  12. Will be dining on roasted piglet this evening as we educated liberals have our weekly meeting to hatch plans to drive god out of America and our gay-lesbian-transgender friends plan their route to “homo-up” school children everywhere.

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