“We’re talking about taking the penis of a man and putting it in the rectum of another man and wriggling it around in excrement. And you have to think, would I want that to be done to me?” Oof. Time for Nancy Elliott’s husband to lower his expectations. [YouTube]

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  1. I think we need us a Federally funded study of the incidence of anal sex pre-/post- marriage. Speaking anecdotally only and from a narrowly Hetero perspective, I’m predicting we find that the best way to slow down, indeed stop that awful conduct, is to force them gays to marry up, ASAP. But I will await the study results. Put it on the YouTubes and we can maybe have it be revenue neutral.

  2. Ah, the ignorance of the anti-sex crusaders. Nancy doesn’t even realize that, yes, some straight women; and even some straight men and gay women, with certain devices; do in fact enjoy having that “done to” them; or go through with it because their partner likes it.

    For consolation, a woman like this probably allows her husband to refuse to eat her out, and probably doesn’t even think of asking for it; so she ain’t having much fun herself.

  3. Nancy, honey — if allowing people to get married is the same as personally condoning whatever sex acts they care to engage it, then I’m in favor of outlawing all marriage. Especially yours and those of the two warty trolls on either side of you.

  4. “taking the penis of a man and putting it in the rectum of another man and wriggling it around in excrement.”

    HOLY SHIT! I missed that part the first time around! Christ you faggots are d i s g u s t i n g !

    Just go off in a hole and die, somewhere. And take your filthy, poop-encrusted penises with you.

  5. Someone needs to explain to the New Hampshire legislators what a microphone is, and how if you want to record sound the microphone needs to be near the source of the sound. And then they can figure out how you put it in the rectum of another man and wriggle it around in excrement.

  6. At least she’s being honest. This has never been about the “sanctity of marriage”, but rather the squeamishness of a bunch of sad sexually-repressed prudes.

    Anyway, can you imagine a man putting his penis into a cavity slimy with the secretions of mucus membranes and wriggling it around? GRODY! Not to mention two people mooshing their lips and tongues together and mixing their drool and oral bacteria. Urrgh!

    Yep. Pretty much anything sounds disgusting if you want it to.

  7. God dammit I’m hard now. And where were these teachers encouraging 5th graders to perform anal sex when I was younger? We had to wait for church to get that sort of encouragement.

  8. I am pretty sure Mr Elliot has put his penis in a sack full of excrement a few times. Of course, that’s not a nice way to refer to your wife, so let’s just call her Nancy.

  9. Yes, well I am late to this, so much of what needed to be said has been said, but two points:

    1) Buttsex is not strictly the purview of tey gays, and
    B) Marriage (presumably the subject of the debate) really isn’t about the sex, at least, if you think of staying married to the same person for the next, let’s say, fifty years or so.

    Also, Nancy, I’m thinking some fiber supplements for you might be nice, and for heaven’s sakes lay off the starchy carbs! Your diet of sugar in all it’s various forms is keeping your rectum a MESS.

  10. Yes, because marriage is all about sex. I’m sure *hers* is, what with all that wriggling around, inside her vagina, as god intended.

    Oh, or maybe not. To quote arrested development: “Where are we gonna find someone to go inside that musty old claptrap?”

  11. [re=512102]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Aww, you beat me to it with a “serious rejoinder” post. I was considering it, but opted for potty humor instead.

    And speaking of which.

    [re=512103]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: I’m thinking more “banana down a hallway” or “wrench down a mineshaft” in this case.

  12. I love how the lady sitting next to her is completely disengaged until she hears the word “penis.” Then check out how big her eyes get; priceless.

  13. [re=512116]Mad Brahms[/re]: Yes, but yours made us laugh, as is our wont here at Wonkett. ‘Musty old claptrap’ is the perfect visual for the vageen in Nancy’s case, I’d venture to say.

  14. You misquoted her. After she said, “I’d have to think” she said, “I’m NOT SURE.” Then she said, “Would I ALLOW that to be done to me.” So, she’s not sure. She’s not sure. I think she wants it. I think she’d love it and she’s just begging her fellow legislators to tell her how great it is.

    And it’s ALLOW not WANT. Would I allow that to be done to me. I think there’s a lot of wiggle room there, so to speak. She can’t stop thinking about it. There’s definitely hope.

  15. Now that I know what the sex ed curriculum is like, it is suddenly clear to me why Nashua has twice been named the “Best Place to Live in America” by some magazine who names such things.

  16. [re=512087]Cicada[/re]: Way back in the dark ages I came across a “marriage manual” my parents had, and read a passage that urged women to douche BEFORE intercourse in order to make the vagina a “fit” place in which to place a penis. Which explains a lot about me I suppose.

  17. This TOTALLY made my morning! One of us needs to send this woman some literature on gay butt sex, and the right way to do it. Maybe SHE walks around with a turtle head peeping out all day, but I imagine most people do not.

  18. the idea of rep Elliot’s husband glen blowing a load all up inside the fleshy folds of her undoubtedly smelly, hairy-ass vag is no less disgusting than wriggling around in some dude’s rectum. so, can we ban her marriage? also, too.

  19. [re=512151]Mojopo[/re]: She already knows about the gay butt sexy time. Let’s send her
    some pics of straight couples demonstrating the Cleveland Steamer and the Dirty Sanchez
    to just totally blow her mind.

  20. Not being a dick in shit kinda guy, I have to say that I can’t stop looking at the Liz Phair picture.

    Oh…and this beeoch is super crazy repressed.

  21. Right. Like women don’t do anal. OK, maybe straight women finally try it after their partners beg forever and just won’t shut up about it, but then they find they actually like it….have I said too much?

    And WHY are lesbians always invisible to these fuckers? Lesbians are known to have gay sex; it’s kinda a big part of what makes them lesbians.

    Finally, who among us was encouraged to have sex of any kind in school? I definitely wasn’t shown pictures in any grade of a man and a woman going at it. If I had been shown anything like that when I was in 5th grade, when I was, what, 10 or 11, I would have been repulsed. My takeaway wouldn’t have been, “Gee, I’d like to try that.”

    There really are no words for what a fucking douchebag asshole cunt motherfucking jerkoff nimrod that woman-type-thing is. Goddamm her.

    Apologies for not bringing the funny. This stuff makes me crazy.

  22. [re=512178]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: In retrospect, I’m not sure what I meant by this…other than I really enjoy looking at pictures of Liz Phair. yes…I’m 13.

  23. I’m not sure where her district is, but there are kissin’ cousins towns in NH where cops couldn’t solve a murder if they had one because everybody’s DNA is the same. And she’s grossed out by excrement?

  24. Why doesn’t this post have an ‘ass fucking’ tag? You’re letting the team down, Newell.

    [re=512165]twoeightnine[/re]: Dang I really hope there’s no piss in a lady’s gash.

  25. Just. Fucking. BRILLIANT.

    “We have to think about that a while?” Really? Why waste time thinking when we could be wriggling our penises around in each other’s anuses? Besides, Nancy, if you have to think about it a while that means you’re entertaining the idea of actually trying it. So, stop fondling your testicles, take your hand out of your granny drawers and start speed dialing your husband and let him know that you’re bringing the KY.

    By the way, did anyone ask the Demonsheep about any of this?

  26. Oh…well. I didn’t know any of this stuff! This is what gay is?
    Man, I don’t know anymore. I’m going to have to re-evaluate my support for Gay Rights.

    Oh, ok. She’s joking right…right?

  27. [re=512239]Fuck Toad[/re]: Y…eah, that would be pretty bad. Also, as a hetero, the term “gash” still pretty much makes me never want to get anywhere a vagina again, god. But it’s a great demonstration about how just about any sexual act can be made revolting if you play with the language enough; vaginas as gaping-wounds is fair play when assholes are “messy”

    [re=512179]Katydid[/re]: We all know lesbians aren’t an “affront to nature”, because they’re just doing it for attention, kissing-a-girl-and-they-liked-it for the joy of their boyfriends, and even if they aren’t, I mean really, women are supposed to be all passive and submissive anyway so if they’re the ones doing the penetrating – so long as its on each other of course! – no harm no foul right? And lesbians would NEVER engage in anal play, certainly not any lesbians I know.

    Oh wait, that last paragraph was actually the exact opposite of what I meant to say. Oops!

  28. Obviously she has never heard of the practice of adequately preparing one’s rectum for anal penetration with an enema. Cleans you right out and there’s considerably less clean-up for you and your partner. You’re welcome.

  29. taking the penis of a man and putting it in the rectum of another man and wriggling it around in excrement

    This is what teh gayez have been up to? Why didn’t anyone tell me? Ooh!

    And, shouldn’t someone track down Mr. Elliott and find out if she allows him to wriggle it around when Aunt Flo visits?

    As to her point, obviously they need to teach stuff to the kids, look what happened to her when she didn’t learn it right.

    [re=512046]slappypaddy[/re]: Wasn’t that the point of her rant?

    [re=512112]imissopus[/re]: If they put that on their license plates, New Hampshire should be forgiven a lot of its sins.

  30. Dear Nancy (nice name, by the way),

    Why don’t you sod off back to Hillsborough before someone finds out you’re queer?

    yrs w/luv, quentin crisp

  31. If Ramblin’ Jack Elliott had said this instead of Nancy, I might have been interested. Jack is the Miles Davis of folk music and tends to pepper his remarks with pithy arcana. Try wiggling your penis around in THAT some time.

  32. I declare that henceforth this day, Feb. 12, is now Buttsecks Day. And without further adieu ladies and gents, here is the Rusty Trombone marching band.

  33. She must be referring to the Homosexual style of sexual relations. We know that the public finds those much ickier than Gay Man and Lesbian action.

  34. [re=512044]SayItWithWookies[/re]: The trolls on either side of her are acting as if this is a typical occurrence: “Christ, there she goes again. What is it this time?” Nancy Elliot must sound like “blah blah blah” to some of them by now.

  35. It’s called a shower bullet, Nancy. Most of us have them installed in our showers in case we need to freshen up before that special moment. How do you wash the piss out of yours before the donkey goes to town?

    Gah, I hate these ignorant assholes.

  36. At least it’s nice to know that she approves of male-on-male of oral contact, judging by her omission on that point. This will provide immense relief to her husband surely.

  37. “We’re talking about taking the penis of a man and putting it in the rectum of another man and wriggling it around in excrement.” Fine. We’re talking about it. But it would be so, so much better if we were *singing* about it.

  38. [re=512035]2goats[/re]: Good point. Nothing stops sex of any kind faster than “making it legal.” If these people really cared about ending the scourge of anal intercourse, they should be promoting same sex marriage!

  39. Dear Nancy,
    Since you’re big on ‘normal’, we should let you know that sex is not normally arranged by the government and carried out by them on unprepared and unwilling citizens. Perhaps you are confusing buttsex with “being audited”?
    Normal People

  40. You’re so very right, Nancy

    Better to spends one’s entire male life chasing a receptacle that looks -close up- like a mal-healed surgical wound.

  41. I have never seen a wriggling penis! I didn’t know they did that. I mean, the definition of wriggle and wriggling is moving in a twisting or snake-like or wormlike fashion. I’ve seen pecker tracks, though, but didn’t realize they were the result of wriggling penises.

    But what a concept! Maybe I’ll design a wriggling dildo and call it the Nancy Elliot.

  42. [re=512504]Hutch[/re]: The way she describes the penis as “wriggling” or “wiggling” makes me think she has never actually seen a penis, and has definitely never seen one in action.

  43. [re=512509]mookworthjwilson[/re]: So, they don’t really wriggle? I didn’t think so. I’ve seen quite a few–none wriggled for me–excrement or nonexcement-wise.

  44. [re=512044]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’m pretty sure the warty troll on the right was thinking, buttsecks is not normal … it’s special. (And also thinking, please don’t put this clip on the web.)

  45. Homosexuality I got no problem with. Listening to an endless parade of lemon-sucking Republicans worried about anything that might dislodge the stick up their asses I got big problems with.

  46. [re=512151]Mojopo[/re]: Turtlehead? I always heard it referred to as “Prarie Dogging”. As in “Pull over Dad, I gotta go, I’m prarie doggin’ here!”.

  47. Sweet fucking mercy…I finally got a chance to actually watch the video and the look on her face as she’s describing the last time she was anally fucked is just priceless.

    Oh…and she’s a lying sack of shit. I live not far from her district and I can read the fucking paper. If some teacher we making kids draws pictures of men fucking, the citizenry would have been down on the school with torches, pitchforks and all.

  48. OK. I’ve had me some anal in my life, in every combination, permutation and variation that me and my hetero partner(s) could come up with. And never, in all my years, does “wiggling around in excrement” describe those activities. Nancy, UR DOIN IT RONG.

    She’s still cool with pegging, though, right?

  49. Why is she thinking about anal sex and man-on-man penetration? She should worry about penetration to herself. With all that thinking she does – she should be wondering why she isn’t getting it in that big floppy mess in her ‘never’regions. Some one needs to poke her in the butt and put it in her mouth- Miss PottyMouth !

  50. [re=512087]Cicada[/re]: “Pretty much anything sounds disgusting if you want it to.”

    Like, for instance, childbirth. And I’m sure she considers that the PURPOSE of a penis being “wriggled around” in a slimy vagina that possibly still has some urine drops in it.

  51. She’s demonstrating an obsession that is supposed to go away at around four to five years of age. Definitely arrested development.

    Republicans are united by pathology and low IQ’s.

  52. I was on the shitter last night and started thinking of Nancy Elliott. Why would anyone want Nancy representing them in the bedroom? Then I poo’d a little more. I was taken back to a class on the “how” our digestive system works. And the only one full of shit here is Nancy Elliott!

    Learn about your intestines and your anus… ps. You have a vagina – Nancy. Get a mirror and have a looksy! That is what you need to wonder about.

    If you would take your head out of your ass – you would probably see the world has better things to worry about than what you are wondering so much about.

  53. “..and I have to think…I’m not sure…would I allow that to be done to me? All of us…it could happen to you. Would you like that to happen to you?”

    Mrs Elliott, are you trying to seduce me?

  54. Ms. Nancy Elliott is a Dickhead. Since when does she think that
    heterosexual individuals do not engage in anal sex. It is used
    as a method of “Birth Control”. Get a live DUDESS.

  55. [re=512040]freakishlystrong[/re]: LOL. I am stifling snickers here too. I mean, you folks are hilarious!!! I must visit more often.

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