OH HO HO HO HO OHHHHHHH… OHHH… CAUGHT… SUCKA… whatever. Newt Gingrich mistakenly said on The Daily Show last night that shoebomber Richard Reid was an American citizen (he was British — even more American than an American, chronologically?), and that’s why George W. Bush personally read him his Miranda rights.

But thankfully Newt Gingrich has corrected himself, on Twitter, a full day later, and after much googling: he was thinking of the baseball player, Padilla. Or another Padilla. But aren’t all the Padillas Mexican citizens, a.k.a. “tortureables?”


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  1. I watched this interview. Boy, Andrew Giuliani has really let himself go. Jon Stewart is so nice to these asshats. But kudos for calling the Toad out on his claims of Obama’s “Radicalism.” Obama is about as radical as Newt is handsome.

  2. Uh sorry, I wasn’t thinking of the shoe bomber, I was thinking of Mittens bombing out in the primary. He he, don’t get old kids – but vote for me in 2012! Or not. Unless I’m running. But I won’t. Unless they beg me to.

  3. [re=510637]desertwind[/re]: Joe the Plumber.

    Anyway, I didn’t see the whole interview, just the part they aired during the show. But Jon Stewart makes me sad, and not because I dislike him or the work he does. He makes me sad because he (a comedian) is probably the toughest interviewer in America right now. Sort of like how Al Franken is one of the best people in the Senate right now. Both men leap spectacularly high over a bar that is not merely low, but is in fact subterranean.

  4. Thank you Mister Gingrich for clarifying Repuklican policy on these matters. Lets see if I have it straight now. If you’re an American citizen and the Prezeldent decides he doesn’t like you, the DOD can lock you up forever, or at least until you have lost your mind from being in isolation and sensory deprivation for years at which point you can have a trial but only if it is guaranteed that you will be convicted and sent away for life based on the secret evidence from some guy who was water boarded 193 times. On the other hand, if you’re a foreigner you get your Miranda rights but have to give up the right to indefinite detention and torture, but this is wrong and you should be tortured until you just flat out start making shit up. Right?

  5. [re=510648]Cape Clod[/re]: I thought I was just being a petty female, but I when I saw Newt’s errr…girth(!), I thought the cancer-stricken ex-wife might have dodged a bullet! Poor Calista, she thought she nabbed her a prize in old Newty boy; now she’s mixing rat poisoning in his Big Gulp Diet Coke.

  6. St. Paul was a Roman citizen, which is why he got his head cut off instead of being crucified. This was an honor and a privilege. He even bent over for the headsman, out of patriotic happiness and fervor.

    We Americans have many privileges of citizenship, also, too. For example, we get to go to a regular slammer for sexual humiliation instead of Gitmo. This is a precious right of citizenship, which our brave troops are fighting for right now in Afpakpiraqistan.

  7. [re=510672]Aurelio[/re]: Correction: “He even bent over for the headsman…” –No, that was Cicero. I fucked up. But St. Paul did have his head cut off. When we bring back crucifixion as a punishment, we should make the same arrangement for our fellow Americans: the privilege of the guillotine.

  8. [re=510672]Aurelio[/re]: St. Paul bent over for the headsman? I thought he was against marriage, or something.

    The whole time Prospero is keeping his daughter prisoner on that stinkin’ island, does he ever once read her HER Miranda rights? So, see–Shakespeare was a fascist, too.

  9. I was glad Jon finally called someone out on the excessive use of the word, “RADICAL” by the nutjobs.
    Anyone with the stomach to listen to the Hannitys, Becks, Palins, Limbaughs… for a few minutes now and then will have undoubtedly heard the word, “RADICAL” thrown out every 2 minutes. “RADICAL” must be #1 on the GOP power words list. Every fucking thing Obama says, does or thinks is the most fucking, “RADICAL” thing that has ever been done!

  10. Bush reading Padilla his Miranda rights: “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Now watch this drive! Heh heh heh.”

  11. [re=510652]Zadig[/re]: Yeah, he just put any number (like all) news hosts to shame for not only actually pushing back in an interview but…saying after the interview that the person they talked to is a lying piece of shit and here’s why.

    As Stewart noted, however, Gingrich will only come up with some other bullshit reason why what Obama did was bad and go all over the press saying so. I’m also sure it won’t prevent the plethora of Republicans who have been going on TV lately and saying stuff that is out and out wrong from stopping saying things that are out and out wrong (Susan Collins, for instance, has been busted a bunch of times but keeps on saying the same thing despite it).

  12. [re=510664]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: You mean Newt’s shrivelled panniculus has re-engorged itself?

    Ew, I made myself a little sick with that one. How can ordinary words sound so…dirty?

  13. Capitalizing “ShoeBomber” and “Padilla”, but not “daily show”. Hmmm. Lazy, stupid, oh-so cleverly irreverent, or all of the above?

  14. [re=510690]V572625694[/re]: Yep, him & Huckabee must be on the same diet plan. They could only stop eating young children for so long….

  15. A pathological lying machine like Gingrich cannot be stopped by mere facts or sound logic. A stake through the heart or beheading are the only options.

  16. Okay, I have to share my father’s comment when TP reported that Newt had been the most frequent MeetThePress guest in 2009:

    “He hasn’t aged well – but that picture makes me think he might be a good candidate for a sex change operation. He would look much better as an old lady than he does as an old man.”

  17. That’s Ok Newt. We already know you hate this country.

    [re=510764]southern mark smith[/re]: Newt looks more like a tall kitchen bag filled with Rush Limballs used and soggy brown butt plugs.

  18. Newt, and all his fellow cowards, think terrorists should be treated neither as criminals nor POWs, but as a special class of offender called “torture subject.” Because they’re scary!

  19. Still, can you refute Newt’s and Rudy’s point that 9/11 was the worse attack by Americans on America to happen during the Clinton Administration?

  20. [re=510686]chaste everywhere[/re]: A DWEM reference? (Shakespeare.)

    Bravo, regardless.

    :::Polite Golf Clap:::

    (Speaking of which: Is “golf clap” what Tiger gave the wife before she used that 7 iron on his face? Just askin’ . . . .)

  21. You have to admire Jon Stewart and anyone else who can stay calm when unrepentant liars like Gingrinch show up. But manners don’t matter in debates, it’s about putting the other guy on the defensive. Once you do, game over. The Right knows it and that’s why they win elections with the worst platform since Genghis Khan.

  22. [re=510806]Oldskool[/re]: you is right, the GOP (God’s Own Party)has seized the Low Ground and
    will win the elections in 2010 and 2012, and then we can enjoy years of Sarah Palin hegemony over the ignorant and the rest of us.

  23. Jesus, Newt, there’s this thing called The Google, and it has all sorts of great answers when you ask it questions.

    Like, it can even tell you that Jose Padilla is a US Citizen, before you try to dig out of a hole by digging it even deeper.

  24. Too bad Twitter wasn’t around when Newt was betraying his cancer-ridden wife:

    “At hospital was wrong to tell dying wife i wanted a divorce. Awkward scene when nurse stepped in.”

  25. What’s this Jon Stewart up to,
    going on the Newt Gingavitis
    Babbling Tour of Ethical Idiocy,
    and interfering with his statements
    by citing known facts.
    Then the world expects Newt
    to cite actual facts, too
    in his own defense.
    But Newt is no fool,
    he’s his own god,
    and just makes up
    any fact he needs!

  26. Margaret Thatcher treated terrorists as criminals. Indeed, the whole point of the Northern Ireland hunger strikes of the early 80s was because Provisional IRA prisnoners wanted to be treated as enemy combatants, while Thatcher wanted to continue treating them as ordinary criminals.

    So in Gingrich’s bizarro-world, Thatcher was some kind of socialist wimp.


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