In this guy's underpants!Now hopefully you all didn’t forget that in America, we only address domestic issues such as energy, transportation, health care, jobs, etc. when there is either a real or imagined lull in NATIONAL TERROR AND WAR issues about which we can do nothing to fully protect ourselves, did you? Because now the lull is over, so stop whining about your personal bankruptcy problems! This one retarded Nigerian crispy penis airplane man who may or may not have been involved with a sub-division of Al Qaeda has officially freaked out an entire nation and rewritten the Obama Adminstration’s agenda, forever. It’s a good thing Terrorists never expect a whiny titty baby nation to comically overrreact to every attempted plot they pretend to undertake, right?

Con sarn it all…

White House press secretary Bill Burton, during a gaggle on Air Force One this morning, detailed Obama’s upcoming schedule this week, and it’s striking how hard the focus has suddenly shifted to national security and terrorism.

Burton detailed that Obama will hear from the CIA today on the agency’s analysis of the foiled airline bomb plot. He added that Obama is also meeting with counter-terror czar John Brennan to discuss it, and that his national security team will discuss a larger, multiagency review tomorrow.

Obama may address the media after that review, and Burton even confirmed that the Christmas Day plot could take up a portion of Obama’s State of the Union address — hardly something the White House expected to use to address terrorism.


Indeed, the White House was reportedly caught flat-footed by the vociferous GOP criticism of Obama’s response to the thwarted plot, suggesting that the GOP’s rapid response gave White House advisers a bit of a rude awakening. Now the question is how successfully the White House will manage the transition into a new political reality, one where terrorism and national security have, at least for now, been thrust to the forefront.

So much for just “making sure certain memos get passed on to appropriate agencies” as a corrective, adult response. Freedom is back on the March! You’re either with us, or your mortgage is underwater!

White House: Full Steam Ahead On National Security And Terrorism [Plum Line]

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  1. Ever get the feeling AQ is just fucking with the west?

    The only good to come out of this is that the tear-wrist got what he deserved.

  2. I’m far more concerned about how someone like Michele Bachmann can be elected to Congress and get the attention she gets than that one lone loony melted his manhood on the way to Motor City.

  3. The Underpants Bomber has not only rewritten our Barry’s agenda; he has rewritten the US Constitution, which is supposed to protect MY underpants from unwarranted search, seizure and airport “patdowns” or “feel-ups.” This is a sad day for America.

  4. I can’t wait for the first bomberette to smuggle asplody stuff onto a plane in her bra, then the humiliation of all travellers will be guaranteed forevar!,/b>

  5. Man, I was saying that just this a.m. The right wing still runs this country-and the minute the talk gets too positive about domestic priorities, it can be derailed within an hour of a failed underpants terr’ist attack by some whack, who can always find a camera and a mic and the willing “press” Look, something shiny!

  6. But if the President doesn’t give this the full attention it deserves, another pathetic wannabe terrorist might fail to hurt anyone but himself in another ill-conceived plan. We must keep America safe from explosives to weak to put a dent in a plane’s hull!

  7. “It is beyond my imagination what more they could do,” said Nadim Umer, 40, a Karachi-based linen merchant who said he was subjected to a strip search when he arrived in New York last June. “Those who are dying to go to America at any cost can put up with all this inhuman behavior, but I cannot.” —Huffpo.

    I agree with Mr. Umer. If they are going to feel up my crispy penis whenever I come back to the States, well…I dunno. You gotta draw the line somewhere. Maybe I just won’t come back. Maybe I’ll stay in some foreign land where they don’t have a crispy penis fetish. Anyway, that’s what my penis tells me I should do.

  8. It’s getting harder and harder to take either side seriously. Fucking Al Qaeda is so pathetic, they’re burning their cocks off for Allah, and Homeland Security could be sent engraved and gilded directions to the next Al Qaeda fiasco via certified mail, and they could still fuck it up. Where’s my duct tape and plastic sheeting?

  9. [re=488580]Roger3815[/re]: O’er the land of the free/And your home…in the…grave.” — Borat Sagdiyev (Борат Сагдиев aka Sacha Baron Cohen).

  10. I think the anal bomb is next on the list. We could head off this attack by looking for the guy who walks like he has a bomb up his ass. Are you listening CIA?

  11. [re=488584]Gopherit[/re]: Really. Their recruiters have some pretty thin gruel to work with these days. “Join us and go on holy missions resulting in, um, paralysis below your waist! No, um, how about a scalded woody! Er, um. Well, we took out a bunch of volleyball players! Because that was God’s, um, will?”

  12. The subhead on that blog (“A Washington Post company publication”) kind of says it all: I’m Fred Hiatt and I approved this message.

  13. It seems like reacting in the same way to actual successful terrorism as to a failure so monumentally embarrassing that it reads like a scene from Airplane! is sort of a win-win for Al Qaeda.

    Additionally, I wonder if Dick Armey and FreedomWorks think this has intriguing astroturf possibilities. Just get BCBS and Exxon to pay some idiots to light their junk on fire periodically, and we’ll never hear about health care or climate change again.

  14. This was all inevitable as “making sure certain memos get passed on to appropriate agencies” does not play as well on TV as “OMG! HOW CAN WE BE SERIOUS ABOUT TERRORISM WHEN OBAMA DOESN’T SAY THE WORD EVERY FIVE MINUTES AND HASN’T SUFFICIENTLY BOMBED ENOUGH PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!” In other words, being adult is all fine and dandy in theory but it’s super boring on Cable News.

  15. Let me ask which of these two approaches is likely to get the nanny-state, pissed-panty Republicans to back off:

    1. Democrats whimper their half-hearted “well, maybe we weren’t paying enough attention, let’s go out and put on our best ‘we can be deranged assholes, running around like chickens with our heads cut off, with the best of the neocons’ and maybe the lunatic right wing won’t call us national security pussies all day, every day.”

    2. Democrats ignore the accusations and focus on one solitary shortcoming of the Republicans – it doesn’t matter what it is – just fucking pound on it all day long, to the point that the subject is completely changed. It could be their votes against upgrades for the airport screening devices, it could De-Mented’s block of the appointment of the TSA director, it could be Tora Bora again. It doesn’t matter, just do what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot: Change the goddamned subject to something that makes them look bad, foolish and hypocritical all at once. Not really hard to do.

    The Democrats are pathologically incompetent to do that, though.

  16. Perhaps we need an official congressional committee to personally sniff everyone’s underpants. Now that health care reform is off the front page, I’m sure LIEberman’s available and more than willing.

  17. When 1800+ people died during the Hurricane Katrina flooding, I don’t remember hearing any GOP outcry about Bush failing to end his vacation, return to DC and promptly respond to the disaster. Hurricane Katrina was no surpise. Before the storm struck, everyone knew the storm was a monster and the gulf coast was vulnerable.

  18. If Jim DeMint really wants BO to fail he should take a lesson from Al Quaida. I’ll bet that if he shoved a condom with just and ounce or two of PETN up his butt, followed by (small) cellphone (not an IPhone, and especially not the new ITablet) with a special ringtone that would detonate the PETN, he could have an accomplice call him while he is standing next BO, thereby spraying the president and all those nearby with fecal matter. Or, better yet, he could call the number himself. Or he could just wait for the Rapture, May 12, 2011 and accomplish the same result.

  19. Terrorist Problem Solved with Vulcan Logic: (1) Wack-job wants America’s attention; (2) Wack-job puts defective bomb in underpants, burns penis off, gets America’s full attention. (3) Therefore, to get America’s attention, all wack-jobs should put defective bombs in underpants and burn off their equipment; (4) Wack-jobs unable to breed, resulting in no more wack-jobs.

    Epso facto, problemo solvo.

  20. [re=488619]Ducksworthy[/re]: Hell, that would work for any and all GOP-volk, given that they’re all full of shit to begin with.

  21. Why doesn’t anyone bring up the fact that the Repubatards had eight years to fix this crap? And you know why they didn’t? Because the top 1%, our elite money overloads, wouldn’t be caught dead flying commerical. But they love it when the sheeple get terrified by crap like this. Screw it, I’m going to Canada, 50 MPH winds, wussies and French-speakers, so what, I don’t care anymore.

  22. I haven’t heard any talk of color-coded Terra Threat Levels. Shouldn’t we be cranking it up to eleven (the blue and red flashing alarm-y siren) . . . also?

  23. [re=488555]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Of course, that’s what its all about. By running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off, we will hurt ourselves far more than AQ could directly. That’s how guerilla warfare works. You can read all about it in the works of Chairman Mao and Genl. Giap.

  24. [re=488632]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: Screw it, I’m going to Canada….

    It’s not any better in Canuckistan, which is just a perverse suburb of America.

  25. Aside from the devastation wrought by hysterical overreaction to one guy setting his pants on fire, that suicide bombing of seven frontline CIA officers in Afghanistan appears to be a devastating blow to efforts to get He Who Must Not Be Named. It turns out the bomber was a Jordanian physician we thought we had turned into a double agent against al Quaeda, who was tasked with getting to al-Zawahiri, the Egyptian doctor who is no. 2 in al-Quaeda. The bomber said he had important news, drawing CIA higher-ups from Kabul as well as a member of the Jordanian royal family prominent in Jordanian intelligence. They were killed.

    The role of Jordanian intelligence and a double-agent seems a lot like that movie with DiCaprio and Crowe. I mean, that’s my point!

  26. Let’s start offering full body patdowns with optional “happy ending” for forty bucks. We could fund airport security quite easily with this approach. And it would have the added benefit of attracting the “best of the best” for the screener position.

  27. Remember: Successful foreign terrorist attack which kills thousands and leads to wars in foreign countries which result in the deaths of tens (hundreds? are we at hundreds yet?) of thousands = Rally Behind The President! He deserves our support! Being president is hard!

    Terrorist “plot” foiled with no loss of life = Soft on terrorism. What’s wrong with this ni- guy?

  28. [re=488578]Aurelio[/re]: Well, yes, I, too, plan to stay abroad indefinitely. I’ve been expecting an outbreak of Hitler/Stalin/Mussolini type political madness, and perhaps this is how it begins. Maybe it’ll be a rising tide of insanity rather than a tsunami, ending with Palin as President for Life. Or someone worse.

    Zhu Bajie, alive in the bitter sea

  29. I do not look forward to the day when everyone, no matter how ugly, must go naked, the better to see we don’t have a bomb tied on. Of course, given how FAT a lot of Americans are, we will still need inspectors to look inside all those folds of flesh…. Ewww, another job only immigrants will do???

  30. [re=488632]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: Guess you haven’t been watching CNN or Fox enough to know that the Republicans weren’t in charge over the past eight years and even if they were, Bush doesn’t count as a Republican because he wasn’t a true Conservative and Clinton was President during 9/11 and the economy was friggin awesome until the moment Obama was sworn in as President

    [re=488652]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: The pat down person at the airport I was flying out of over last week was kind of hot and I was severely disappointed she didn’t frisk me.

  31. Welcome to 2010, when jet travel has all the glamour of riding in a slave ship. Can’t we just blow up every 1000th airplane to appease the terrorists? I’d trade that for getting anal-probed every time I fly somewhere.

  32. So when did business schools start teaching Young Republicans that the best management reaction to a challenge by running around bawling, like a cow tormented by flies?

  33. [re=488671]Prommie[/re]: If they were sending him to an undisclosed location, Joe would have told us where it was and how long he’d be gone by now.
    This “why hasn’t that negro shit his pants in rage and craven fear yet? Doesn’t he know we’re at WAR meme the MSM is pressing on us isn’t getting a lot of traction outside of the commentariat the professional teabaggers. Those who think our President is a Kenyan Jihadi see this as the ultimate proof he is not one of “us” but they think the same thing about Oily Taints fake birth certificate.

  34. Apparently some people got killed at the federal building in Las Vegas. But they’re saying they don’t think it it’s terrorism. Which is great news, because I hate terrorism.

  35. So like 8 first class Americans (government job and pension) get blown to bits in AfPakistan and like who cares. Some sub Saharan lights his loins on fire trying to blow up an airplane full of shnooks, Newark International Airport is on lock down.

    BTW does a double agent collect double pay?

  36. When you get a Christmas present, you’re supposed to act all surprised and happy; and when a terrorist attacks, you’re supposed to act all afraid and angry. Doesn’t Obama know white (Republican) culture?

  37. [re=488666]zhubajie[/re]: “been expecting an outbreak of Hitler/Stalin/Mussolini type political madness, and perhaps this is how it begins.”

    With corporate control of government, that’s fascism, and so there’s your Hitler-Mussolini type revanchism.

    When the hungry rebel and start burning the elite in their own mansions, and eating their children in the streets,
    that’s when Stalin appears, right out of the muddle.

    Add in economic collapse, fossil fuel depletion, and coastal city flooding,
    and you have a scenario which we may not be able to survive.

  38. If the hallmark of Al-Qaeda’s grand design to collapse western aviation is to teach lone bombers to set off their incendiaries during final approach, rather than at altitude, I’d say we’re in good shape. Let’s eat a plate of fried penis and shake on it.

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