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Our secret operative keeps sending the pages. This, from page 225, about what Struck Her As Ironic: the black had taken her life-long message, of Change. We’re confident at this point that Going Rogue is worse than we’d imagined. Wow. More to come.

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  • Click

    Sarah: “I was cunty when cunty wasn’t cool.”

  • YesWeKant

    I guess I should not be surprised that Caribou Barbie doesn’t know what ironic actually means. If I tried to explain to her that irony doesn’t mean “unfortunate coincidence,” I would probably have to also explain the words unfortunate and coincidence too and then there would surely be more words involved that she didn’t understand and then, well, infinite regress! But but but….. she can drive a skiff, people. A skiff!

  • Long Form Def Certificate

    She was also for socialism before socialism was cool.

    Thanks, Alaska Fund!

  • ForTheTurnstiles

    I’m drunk. That’s all.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    Oh no…Great Lord!!! NObama stole Sarah Palin’s tune? And she didn’t know how to tell the country she had the whole ‘change’ gig going first. And if she’s supposedly so retarded, why does the smartest african president we ever elected feel the need to copy from her? Yeah, like to see you unravel that twisted logic!

  • Johnny Zhivago

    “A month of diapers cost as much as a truck payment, and it was always a gut wrenching decision: ‘keep the big new truck or let Trig stay in a wet diaper for an extra few days'”

  • RoscoePColtraine

    Oh, and one more thing, libtards: CHANGE had never been conjured up by a politician, to use as a campaign theme, until Sarah P came along. She fucking invented that shit. NObama!!11!!1

  • Dear Diorama

    No, really? This is real? My 101 students write better than this.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    Wait a minute, I just checked with Mrs. Zhivago, who says a month of diapers costs about $100. So either Sarah is lying or Trig must either have a giant ass or go through about 20-30 diapers a day.

    You would think “hockey mom” would have learned the word “COSTCO” if this was such a massive problem.

  • mollymcguire

    [re=458514]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: A diaper change we can believe in.

  • user-of-owls

    “We were change”

    So, Palin was 50 Cent before it was a “black” thing?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Y’know, looking at those pages it becomes less and less impressive that she wrote (and I use both of those previous words in their loosest possible way) a 400-page book. It’s obvious she cranked out a 100-page book, and the real work was done by the editor who found the right typeface and margins to make it fill out 400 pages without leaving every other page blank. Your average literate human could probably get through the whole thing in an hour at the B&N coffee shop without ever having to buy it.
    Fortunately for Sarah, her audience hasn’t read anything longer than John 3:16 in the past ten years, so this’ll be a slog.

  • Robophobia

    That is the scariest ghostwriter story I have ever read.

  • shadowMark

    Sarah Palin, a lanky scarecrow of a woman with her withered face and lantern jaw,
    dons her rusty armour and mounts her ramshackle steed Johnmccain.
    With lance couched she still rides through our lives followed by
    her pot-bellied squire Levi Panza. The ill-sorted pair played a prominent part
    in the world of our politicians and fishermen, and we transmit their message
    to our children and grandchildren, especially the ones who fish.

  • Jim Demintia

    Ooh, the cross-cutting technique. Someone alert the ghost of John Dos Passos! Actually, this is just so terrible on so many levels it’s hard to know where to start: the rhetorical clumsiness of the basic device, the incredible vanity of providing what are essentially self-serving footnotes to what is already a grotesquely enormous Peep of a puff speech, the idiocy and banality of the content of those self-serving footnotes?

    Also, a month’s worth of diapers and formula cost as much as a truck payment? Was David Vitter staying at their house during this time?

  • pampl

    Sarah Palin also used to be black, before it became trendy.

  • ella

    How would that woman ever express herself without exclamation marks?

  • Fly Over Girl

    Palin!!!!1!!! /Bachman!!??!!?!!!! ’12!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • SayItWithWookies
  • RoscoePColtraine

    Jesus fucking Christ, people. Get a copy for the bathroom. You’ll never have to wait for the person to come out.

  • Robophobia

    [re=458523]Jim Demintia[/re]: Especially when Vitter gets some bad oyster.

  • geminisunmars

    [re=458520]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You were expecting maybe “Infinite Jest”. Come to think of it, Palin is turning into an infinite jest. Or rather interminable jest.

  • Jim Demintia

    [re=458531]Robophobia[/re]: Or maybe he was just reading advance copies of this book?

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=458532]geminisunmars[/re]: I was thinking a real ghostwriter plus a real agent and publisher might’ve persuaded her to put some substance into it — at least more than she’s used to putting into a subject.
    But no — she used the same technique here that she used to stretch her history essay on the causes of WWII to three pages back in college — double-spacing and two-inch margins all around. Far be it from Sarah to deviate from a formula that works.

  • ttommyunger

    Repeating my earlier tweet: Word has it Sarah is planning to spice up her book tour appearances by performing the Prong Dance in an Idaho Asparagus Patch. Attendees: BYOB (bring your own butter).

  • LindsayBluth

    A ghostwriter was PAID for this? Why? I was honestly not expecting it to be this bad. I hope from deep within my hoping place this is real. I’m a little concerned all of my delight is for naught, and we’ve been fooled by scans from this: http://www.amazon.com/Hilary-Duff-Metamorphosis-Lizzie-McGuire/dp/1572436255

  • El Pinche

    Dayaaam dre!! Is her ghostwriter Trig?? Cuz that shit sounds Downy.

  • El Pinche

    [re=458528]Fly Over Girl[/re]: Carrie “I Diddle for Jesus” Prejean for Sec. of State!!!1!!

  • Click

    [re=458538]LindsayBluth[/re]: Not ghostwriter, dear – ghostrider. This incredible fount of personal insight and ageless wisdom was written by world-renowned daredevil and arch enemy of the sinister Blackheart, Mr. Johnny Blaze.

  • Hooray For Anything

    I’m not going to read these leaked pages as I don’t want to get spoiled. If what my friend says is true and it turns out she killed Dumbledore, I’m going to be pissed.

  • Guppy06

    [re=458514]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: How much did a box of condoms cost?

    She could have raided Bristol’s stash, she wasn’t using ’em.

  • Guppy06

    [re=458517]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Choice C: they used their connections to get a sweetheart payment plan.

  • crankypants

    By change she meant two dimes and a nickel.

  • assistant/atlas

    Goddamit, Wonkette, why you make me wanna go out and buy Sarah Palin’s book…. You are evil whores. Also, hilarity!

    [re=458532]geminisunmars[/re]: I wish she was jestier. At least Levi’s in on the joke.

  • Nigerian Business Executive

    [re=458522]shadowMark[/re]: Twas levi and the bristol toves
    Did trig and tripp-track in the wabe.
    All willow were the piperoves
    And the first dude outgrabe.

    And that’s about enough of that.

  • DoctorCulturae

    Ah! me eyes are stained by this arrangement of words. She who is not very strong in memory should not meddle with lying.

  • jsdc

    [re=458536]SayItWithWookies[/re]: And quotes. Lots and lots of quotes.

  • chascates

    Fortunately for her the readers she appeals to will never listen to anything but Fox News and Rush Limbaugh. They’ll eat it up like candy and figure she is the Chosen One.

    I can’t decide what would be better. For her (& Michele Bachmann, et al.) to take over the Republican party and run it into the dirt or to actually hold national office and punish the 1/3 of Americans who believe in this moose hockey.

    Well, actually, let’s just stay with the first one.

  • Paul Tardy

    “Going Rogue is worse than we’d imagined”

    Worse than a Mormon vampire romance novel?

  • Extemporanus

    [re=458510]YesWeKant[/re]: It’s like “Change” on your vetting day.

    And isn’t it moronic…don’t ya think?

  • obfuscator

    she writes just like she talks, you guys! ugh.

  • El Pinche

    [re=458554]chascates[/re]: I would be surprised they’d become our new leaders. Amurka ain’t the shiniest spoon in the world drawer.

  • the problem child

    Oh dear, what can the matter be, seven ghostwriters got stuck in the lavatory,
    They were stuck there from Monday to Saturday, surely they’re all crapped out now?

  • Guppy06

    [re=458546]Guppy06[/re]: Actually, maybe that’s something new for the FBI to look into in their corruption investigation.

  • Mr Blifil

    Isn’t anything she does, by definition, not cool? What is she griping about this time? Oh and because Obama immediately CHANGED international policies as soon as he took office, emphasizing diplomacy over belligerence, he got a nice new prize from the good folks at Nobel®. So suck on that Sarah, also.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=458550]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: If there was ever a time to shun the frumious Bandersnatch, this is it. Please don’t forget the frumious Bandersnatch!

  • chascates

    Going Rogue: An American Life (Hardcover)
    List Price: $28.99
    Price: $9.00
    You Save: $19.99 (69%)

    Best Value
    Buy Going Rogue: An American Life and get Catastrophe at an additional 5% off Amazon.com’s everyday low price.

  • AddHomonym

    “Palin:” “This was a man who had not only survived more than five years of torture…”

    Off message from the very beginning!!11! Didn’t she know? FIVE AND A HALF YEARS!!!1!!

  • sarcasticusername

    they really weren’t kidding when they said this book was written in “palin’s voice.” why can’t i get rich for “writing” this kind of stupid shit?

  • Jukesgrrl

    This tome would make an excellent English lit assignment on recognizing bad writing, but I can tell you in advance what the students will say. “You’re wrong! It’s really good. I could understand it. She expressed her feelings very well.” And since their tuition is possibly being paid by people who had Palin signs in their yards, you’ll be getting a visit from the dean if you try to “teach” Brittney and Jason that this is not literature.

    [re=458550]Nigerian Business Executive[/re]: I rarely say this since Our Leaders frown on it, but WIN!

    [re=458556]Paul Tardy[/re]: Actually, it’s very similar to a Mormon vampire novel. Just not as imaginative.

  • MGBYG

    [re=458532]geminisunmars[/re]: And we know it worked out for that author….

    Just imagine…cold, dreary, snowy day, no helicopters could fly, the DS babies were a-crying, Dude’s snowmachine was out of gas metaphorically and figuratively and her Paxil had run out…

    Into the Darkness.

  • DoctorCulturae

    Blabberhockey.

    Call me Ischlemiel, also.

  • sati demise

    Why does she keep ripping off cheezy big hair bands……

    and isn’t she paraphrasing a country rock lyric here?

    She lies, cheats and now steals Obamas change meme,,,zzzzzzzzzzzz

  • JGB

    queen snowbilly supposedly admits to two miscarriages in the book!

    and babbles about a bill that originally said she had an abortion but was “corrected” with “white-out”

    oofah, also

  • Darkness

    [re=458558]obfuscator[/re]: I’m going to guess, transcribed like she talks. That ghostwriter better have come cheap.

    Sad, considering all the underemployed actual, skilled writers kicking around, just in my poor little town.

  • SnarkNotFark

    It’s like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a chopper-mounted wolf rifle.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=458573]chascates[/re]: You Save: $19.99 (69%)

    Whenever I’ve ordered a “69 with side of seesaw“, it’s cost me way more than $19.99.

  • obfuscator

    [re=458600]Darkness[/re]: the writing is so fucking painful to read. seriously, reading this shit actually makes my penis/stomach/soul ache. it would have been better if countess moosenstein and her poor ghostwriter had Kept It Simple Stupid and just stuck to the reliable Dick and Jane “noun-verb-object” formula instead of overshooting and attempting use elitist liberal devices like compound sentences and clauses.

  • artpepper

    It was true. I really was a maverick and such an outstanding individual and a point guard. I quickly remembered that I was “cool” before “cool” was cool. I was without basic health coverage and it struck me as ironic that I would lead the fight against socialized medicine with a great war hero who truly deserved me as a running mate!

  • brown_recluse

    [re=458551]DoctorCulturae[/re]: that’s the thing about narcissists. They never think that anyone will ever question or fact check their totally awesome stories, because they are awesome.

  • One Yield Regular

    Wow. It’s like rain on your wedding day.

  • LowerdPeninsula

    If there is to be any kind of solace to be had in all of this, it’s that she avoided writing in actual winks or assorted onomatopoeia into the literature.

    Truly, Sarah is a national treasure whose likeness screams itself to be carved into a virgin Alaska glacier for all to see until global warming/climate change (i.e. “God’s will”) reclaims it for the angels, ’cause, as he giveth he taketh away.

    Repent, bitches! Repent!

  • gurukalehuru

    It’s depressing when a vice-presidential candidate can’t think of a better qualification for her running mate, a reason he really deserves to be president. than that he was a prisoner of war for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS! Also, I thought the whole technique of reprinting his speech verbatim was a bit lame, especially since it was a lamer old speech to begin with.

    Bring on the horseflies.

  • gurukalehuru

    Palin/Taitz 2012!!! Hotter, Wetter, Tighter! Also.

  • schvitzatura

    Going Kampff

  • schvitzatura

    [re=458626]schvitzatura[/re]: – ein “f”

  • Joshua Norton

    Ah, the Divine Sarah. It’s almost as if dash-board bobble heads have formed their own political party.

  • get real

    How much cool could a cool Sarah change
    if a cool Sarah could change cool?

  • kth

    [re=458598]sati demise[/re]: Barbara Mandrell, actually. To say that Palin’s faux populism has its perfect analogue in Mandrell’s Vegas-schmaltz claim of country authenticity is to over-analyze; Palin just IS Barbara Mandrell, the end.

  • desertwind

    What a load of horseshit.

  • JBH

    “integrity…”

  • Carl Spakler

    Meh…needs more Eugene Levy/John Landis:

    ‘The Negro stole our campaign message!’

    Odd, I was dreading this week and has seriously considered heading to Europe for a week of socialist hedonism, generally efficient mass transportation, absurdly small cars, and available health care. Now I’m glad I stuck around for this political Hindenburg.

    As far as buying this flaming turd, why bother? At this pace, all 400 pages of this gibberish will be available to all us freedom loving ‘mericans over the course of the next 5 days via the miracle of the intertubes. After the sneak preview of three pages of word vomit, it is readily apparent that reading a dictionary from cover to cover would make more sense (and probably have an infinitely more interesting plot).

  • Terry

    [re=458631]kth[/re]:

    Barbara Mandrell can sing. Palin has no discernable talents at all.

  • BlueStateLibtard

    That’s a shifty black for you, always with the STEALING things. Jim, please keep throwing out bits and pieces from this literary masterpiece to the posters here, it’s like throwing out chum to hungry sharks.

  • Jerri

    Man, her ghostwriters must have hated her guts.

  • Way Cool Larry

    Either:
    1) the pages of her book have two columns,
    2) the pages are three inches wide, or
    3) the font size is 24

    I’m going with the third one.

  • depraved indifference engine

    It could be much worse. The ghostwriter could have written this:

    Gay people are like communists, seek “sexual gratification without responsibility,” wear dog collars

    While the homosexual ethos depends on an abandonment of truth, the search for a good gay fantasy may not last much longer.

    Oh, wait…she did!

  • llibra

    [re=458510]YesWeKant[/re]: I don’t even know what a skiff is, but I bet I could drive one, while making ironic comments simultaneously.

  • Berkeley Bear

    Just this week, I was forced to lecture my class about academic integrity. I had to break it to them that you don’t “write” a “paper” by slapping together someone else’s words with a couple of sentences of irrelevant drivel. Especially when that drivel turns out to 1) misunderstand a basic literary device, 2) misrepresent reality and 3) makes me want to pull a Lewis Black style rant on them. Maybe if Caribou had paid attention to 1 of her Journalism professors – just 1 – she’d have known the meaning of irony, or how to fact check (McCain wasn’t a leader of squat in Hanoi by his own admission, and was only tortured for 2 years, until the NVA realized pampering him for the cameras worked better) or something.

    I’ve been depressed about my student’s work for a couple days now. Nice to know they qualify to be major players in America’s political discourse. I just hope I die of liver failure before they get to the main stage.

  • comicbookguy

    A candidate with on a platform polar opposite of the past 8 years running a campaign theme of change: Not ironic.

    A candidate with a platform identical to the past 8 years couldn’t get the media to see her as “change” also not ironic.

    A Canadian signing a song called Ironic full of stories none of which are the least bit ironical. Now THAT’s ironic!

    It’s like raaaaaaain on a cloudy day…

  • comicbookguy

    It was a dark and stormy campaign…

  • Berkeley Bear

    [re=458523]Jim Demintia[/re]: Don’t wake up the ghost of Dos Passos – he would bayonet her right in the eye, do the same to her ghost writer, then proceed to sit down and write an impassioned plea for health care demonstrating empathy with the working class in a way this twit simply can’t fathom. While we could use more of the second part, I don’t want anyone killing off Caribou directly before she gets a chance to completely destroy the GOP.

  • Berkeley Bear

    [re=458584]sarcasticusername[/re]: You have a soul? I have a friend who did some ghosting that was pretty lucrative (sports figures) but he won’t do it anymore – too many really bad experiences for every decent one.

  • loquaciousmusic

    More to come, indeed. Into a dirty Kleenex.

  • Bruno

    [re=458548]assistant/atlas[/re]: Please don’t buy it. Read it in the toilet at Barnes & Nobels then return it to the shelf

  • Bruno

    [re=458573]chascates[/re]: The math there is aweful. How does Amazon arrive at 69%…they are doing in Ass-backwards I guess because the readership won’t get it.

  • Bruno

    [re=458658]Bruno[/re]: Oh, and when I say don’t wash your hands, ideally you have some communicable desease that can’t be cured by prayer or lack of a single payer health care system

  • norbizness

    Man, this series is like brain-death by a thousand cuts.

  • Aflac Shrugged

    I’m waiting on the book’s photo insert, recreating the couldja-pick-up-mah-pencil-where-I-dropped-it-HENNGH?! sequence that made her the vice-presidential nominee.

  • Oldskool

    First sentence: “It was a dark and stormy night.”

  • WhatTheHeck

    Isn’t it ironic.
    I want to read this book. Sarah, I feel your pain. No, not your literary pain, but your literal pain. Recently, my wife said I was crazy and sent me for clinical evaluations. Well, the bastards couldn’t prove me clinically insane so my wife told me I had to pay the costs of the evaluation myself.
    Isn’t it ironic
    But all I ever wanted to do was to drive a skiff, hunt n fish. You know, the important things a president of these here United States needs to resolve a financial meltdown.
    Irony, thy name is Sarah and WhatTheHeck.

  • Berkeley Bear

    [re=458660]Bruno[/re]: Actually, saving 19.99 out of 28.99 is saving 68.9% off of list price, which is normally how all booksellers advertise their discounts. 9 bucks is still waaay too much for this turd.

  • bitchincamaro

    I got nothin’. Which is more than you’ll find in this “book”.

  • Oldskool

    [re=458652]comicbookguy[/re]: Ha. Note to self, read other posts first.

  • Click

    When I started reading the sentence “It struck me…” my heart leaped and I got my hopes up for one brief second.

  • Fly Over Girl

    [re=458643]Jerri[/re]: Nah, the ghost writer just sucks as bad as Palin.

    Seems like there should be some judicious swapping of dust jackets between Going Rogue and Going Rouge on Tuesday.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=458517]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: I’m assuming that diapers are more expensive in Alaska, because of the shipping, right? This might actually be the first thing that she has said that is close to accurate.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=458601]SnarkNotFark[/re]: Wow. I bow before you, sir/madam.

  • Fly Over Girl

    [re=458677]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]:

    From a price shopper who lives in Alaska.

    http://www.alaskacoupondiva.com/2009/11/carrs-safeway-ad-111.html

    Huggies Box of Diapers is advertised for $30.99

    If you went through four boxes a month, it’d run about $125. Seems like a box of diapers lasts longer than one week. Someone can correct me if I’m wrong.

  • ForTheTurnstiles

    [re=458681]Fly Over Girl[/re]: Depends how many babies you have, and if caribou juice causes diarrhea.

  • Fly Over Girl

    [re=458682]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: Or if roadkill equals constipation.

  • Dolmance

    That cunt.

  • Buttery1000

    She’s so right. Barack Obama stole his message of Change™ from a then-obscure governor from the state of Alaska, knowing someday that he would face her when she was the vice presidential candidate for the man against whom he was running. It’s so obvious, people … c’mon.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    [re=458677]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: You’re probably right about that! I remember when I was up there even Alaska King Crabs were like twice as expensive as down here for some reason.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=458685]Buttery1000[/re]: Let’s not forget that Obama’s “Change” theme was challenging the incumbent party. It was a big hill for McCain-Palin to climb if they were going to rally the country to their brand of change, which is further proof (if any is really needed) of Sarah’s obtuseness. That, plus the fact that she had so many blank pages to fill, blank pages full of the promise of dumb things to come out.

    Put me in the column, “can’t wait for this book’s release.”

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    [re=458640]Terry[/re]: Barbara Mandrell survived a horrible crash; Sarah Palin IS a horrible crash.

  • ForTheTurnstiles

    [re=458667]WhatTheHeck[/re]: Easily solved: the lawyers can handle those bills and all the rest when you get the divorce on. Run for it…

  • Chryss

    @SayItWithWookies: You mean the production editor. Ah-hem.

  • Bruno

    [re=458668]Berkeley Bear[/re]: You’re absolutely right. Having been drunk I didn’t notice the actual price for the book was $9 & that wasn’t the discount. And you’re also right $9 is still too much for it

  • Click

    Didn’t I read somewhere that Sarah has plans for opening a B&B? I think she’d be better suited to running a half-way house.

  • thehelveticascenario

    [re=458694]Click[/re]: Or a bordello.

  • Click

    Sarah’s sending out her Christmas cards a bit early….
    http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/7019/xmasu.jpg

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Remember that when confronted by a peddler to say these very words: “Change comes from within.”

  • rafflesinc

    [re=458680]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: You’re not the only one. Drudge is front paging (no sirens though) Obama’s bow before the emperor of Japan.

    http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/washington/2009/11/obama-emperor-akihito-japan.html

  • Suds McKenzie

    Where’s Wassila ?

  • CanadianBacon

    Yea it will be ironic in a few years after Palin becomes president beause of the success of her best-selling book and thought provoking interviews on Oprah and Barney and Friends. Oh the irony …

  • shadowMark

    Where’s Wassila? It’s just east of Meadow Lakes, just south of Fishhook and just north of Peters Creek and just west of Lazy Mountain.

    Lazy Mountain rises above Wassila sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti.

  • Rotundo

    Nine bucks? I’ll wait for six months and pick it up at the nearest everything’s a dollar store. Or pick it up at a wingnuts’ rummage sale for a quarter. Wonder if the paper is septic system safe?

  • Servo

    [re=458652]comicbookguy[/re]:
    It was a dark and stormy campaign…
    WIN! A very applicable reference to one of my favorite books. Only Bill Bryson produced more tears from laughter.

  • Great Old Ones Party
  • Dashboard_Buddha

    [re=458557]Extemporanus[/re]: ouch ouch ouch

  • AddHomonym

    [re=458708]shadowMark[/re]: Rises like Olympus? I always thought it was “rises like Memphis.” Neither one makes any sense, though. Now THAT’S ironic, yes?

  • AddHomonym

    …”a Memphis” or maybe “a memphis.” Anyway.

  • depraved indifference engine

    [re=458687]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Release–that’s a sexual thing, right?

  • comicbookguy

    [re=458707]CanadianBacon[/re]: It will be ironic in a few days when we all discover than in between the full color photos and the only three pages filled with mindless prattle of fluffy marshmallow word salad stupifying in its unintentional comedy, is the single most substantive policy book ever written, which inspires us all and goes on to become the textbook for future world leaders, heralding a new age of progress and understanding for the benefit of all humanity. Now THAT’s irony!

  • DoctorCulturae

    comicbookguy: Or if someone figures a way to slow this runaway train, sales of it plummet, and every lefty this side of Minsk buys one at B & N for 99¢ to be used as teepee during the holidays.

  • bokonon

    Someone please push her off the “platform of change” in front of whatever is coming down the track

  • user-of-owls

    [re=458722]bokonon[/re]: Um, when referring to Palin’s family, “coming down the Track” has a connotation that I don’t think you intended.

  • rocktonsammy

    I can’t wait for SP’s 2012 book, “Going Away.”

  • Yoko Ono

    Yo know, this drivel is to prose as my 2nd album is to music.

  • zhubajie

    [re=458514]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Just have him crap on the ground, like in China.

  • Carl Spakler

    [re=458724]rocktonsammy[/re]: I was hoping for “Going Commando” with Carrie Prejean as the ghost writer

  • Bruno

    I thought Walnuts threw her under the bus? Would it be possible for someone thrown under the bus to finally stay under there and never get back up? Why do we have to deal with the zombies?

  • Gumboz1953

    [re=458708]shadowMark[/re]: TOTO REFERENCE. WIN.

  • Hooray For Anything

    [re=458702]rafflesinc[/re]: Apparently the Usual Suspects are all upset that Obama showed proper cultural deference to somebody who isn’t American. Obama, of course, didn’t understand that the correct manner of all American Presidents overseas is to say fuck you to all foreign traditions and forms of etiquette but to instead bend over and moon foreign leaders while shouting “We’re America, bitches!” over and over again.

  • Carl Spakler

    [re=458737]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Don’t forget to throw up on their Prime Minister…a tradition established by Bush the Elder.

  • ForTheTurnstiles

    [re=458708]shadowMark[/re]: Oh, I thought that was Wasilla. The question remains: where’s Wassila?

  • zhubajie

    [re=458517]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Is Sarah is REALLY conservative, why isn’t she using cloth diapers?

  • user-of-owls

    King Roy

  • user-of-owls

    The Rat

  • user-of-owls

    Queen Sarah

  • user-of-owls

    The Scat

  • comicbookguy

    [re=458721]DoctorCulturae[/re]: That’s not irony!

  • Flanders

    [re=458708]shadowMark[/re]: Rises like Levi over Bristol?

  • Flanders

    [re=458732]Carl Spakler[/re]: Carrie Prejean will be the stand-in model for the picture section.

  • shadowMark

    Speaking of Lazy Mountain(s) rising like Olympus, Meghan twittered about Levi yesterday. Apparently a lot of people are asking her about Levi ( Meghan and Levi sitting in a tree/K-i-s-s-i-n-g ) and Meghan had enough and twittered:

    please stop asking me about Levi
    Johnston – all I have to say is he is truly
    the Kato Kaelin of this generation – no
    further comment, ever.

    2:21 PM Nov 13th from web

    She compared Levi to Kato Kaelin. But Kato is famous for being the former sidekick of an infamous criminal. Is Meghan saying Levi is the former sidekick of a criminal? Sarah? Bristol ?!

  • zhubajie

    [re=458538]LindsayBluth[/re]: Paid in fish and low-quality sex, maybe.

  • ForTheTurnstiles

    [re=458723]user-of-owls[/re]: Any concrete noun has that problem in potentia, since any concrete noun is a potential Palin name, yes?

  • zhubajie

    [re=458548]assistant/atlas[/re]: Borrow it, scan it, OCR it, put the results on e-mule. (It’s beginning to sound like a lot of work….)

  • artpepper

    [re=458737]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Just to show the world who is boss, the POTUS is supposed to walk around a mosque in muddy boots, bring a bacon cheeseburger into a Jewish temple, yank the Pope’s ring from his finger and fling it down the gutter, knock Elizabeth II’s hat off her head and kick her in the shins, and give Angela Merkel an inappropriate shoulder rub.

  • user-of-owls

    [re=458750]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: True dat. But it was more the verb-concrete noun conjunction (“coming” “down” the “Track”) that I was ‘shooting’ for. Ick, I need a shower.

  • PsycGirl

    [re=458528]Fly Over Girl[/re]: “Palin!!!!1!!! /Bachman!!??!!?!!!! ‘12!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
    A colleague and I have a plan for a Palin/Bachmann presidency. Tell each of them that the other is two-faced and talks about her behind her back “Sarah thinks she’s hot shit but nobody really likes her, they just suck up to her because she’s President” and so forth. We figure that they’ll kill each other and then with any luck we will have President Pelosi.

  • Long Form Def Certificate

    [re=458748]shadowMark[/re]: Nicolet High School’s greatest alumnus. Woo!

  • Nigerian Business Executive

    [re=458754]PsycGirl[/re]: Granted she’d be better than either of them, but that would really be lucky?

  • Yoko Ono

    [re=458753]user-of-owls[/re]: “rat might taste like pumpkin pie, but that don’t mean I’m gonna eat the filthy motha..”
    Before you shower, here’s some real Merikans pigging out, Lou Dobbs this one is for you,

    http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=22119179

  • ForTheTurnstiles

    [re=458753]user-of-owls[/re]: I hear ya. I’m a bit concerned about my own case, because I’d happily fuck any of-age member of the Palin clan except Todd. If Track is going anywhere in the GOP, he’s going to have to learn how to please an older man. With his butt.

  • zhubajie

    [re=458556]Paul Tardy[/re]: How could it not be?[re=458748]shadowMark[/re]: His mother, the Meth Queen, of course. Meghan’s been low on meth ever since Mrs. Johnston’s trial.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=458744]user-of-owls[/re]: Burma Shave.

    [re=458690]Chryss[/re]: Oops. I have no excuse for whiffing that, ex copy editor that I am.

    [re=458752]artpepper[/re]: Hey, how is it that the people who criticized him and Michelle for not showing enough deference to the Queen are so quick to criticize him for showing proper deference to the emperor and to King Saud? Oh, right — because they’ll criticize him for whatever he does.

    PRESIDENT OBAMA: Mr. Assity, it’s a pleasure to meet you.
    SEAN ASSITY: Mr. President, please call me Sean.
    PO: As you wish, Sean, I —
    SA: You know familiarity breeds contempt.
    PO: I’m starting to get that idea.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=458702]rafflesinc[/re]: Dude, that is SO fucking weird. I was JUST thinking yesterday about that. “Wow, Obama is in Japan, but at least it makes sense to bow to the emperor.”

    I have to admit that the bow + handshake is really weird.

  • DoctorCulturae

    comicbookguy: Apologies. Just mere despair,

  • foulmouthed mrscreant

    The Grifter from Wasilla thought it was cool to fake a pregnancy to hide her daughter’s real preganancy before Desperate Housewives thought it was cool.
    Oh wait,
    nope, Desperate Housewives thought it was cool first.
    Empathy bellies for everyone (but only if $P thinks it’s cool)!!!

  • Joshua Norton

    Actually, Palin isn’t really the crazy one. She just has the normal repug mindset to rack up as much wingnut welfare doing as little work as possible. It’s the people who give her money who are the whack jobs of her story.

  • AutomaticPilot

    [re=458557]Extemporanus[/re]: Very clever!

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    A platform of change for Wasilla would be exactly that– they’d get a new wooden platform for something.

  • El Pinche

    [re=458708]shadowMark[/re]: Hahaha…well, you opened up a can of Toto now.

    Perpetuum Jazzile – Africa:

    http://www.youtube.com/user/robotpickle#p/f/31/yjbpwlqp5Qw

    The white human beatbox is givin Biz Markie a run for his money.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Her book isn’t even out yet, but there’s a second article out (this one by HuffPo) about an entirely different set of factual inaccuracies — this one corroborated by internal emails disclosed by a McCain staffer.

    Now either there’s some sort of concerted effort to get Sarah, orchestrated by a bipartisanship elite of entrenched political mandarins that fears her honesty and incorruptibility — or else her little autobiograhy is so self-seving and wrong that it’s just pissing all kinds of people off. Hmmm…if only there were some way of determining which was the right answer…

  • shadowMark

    [re=458770]SayItWithWookies[/re]: That’s NOTHING. Check out the Newsweek site. The new cover is in the lower left.

    It’s Sarah, with pony-tails, in hotpants. She looks like a high school cheerleader.

    Meghan, of course, has already twittered that it is sexist against women to picture Palin like that.

    Whoa! Did Palin pose for that?! Is that some kind of file photo or photoshop?

  • CanadianBacon

    [re=458718]comicbookguy[/re]: Truly ironic would be if a tractor-trailer load of unsold “Going Rogue” books on the way to the recycler veered out of control into the Presidential motorcade the day before the 2012 election leaving only Palin/Bachman to vote for.

  • Yoko Ono

    [re=458769]El Pinche[/re]: Needs more reverb on the snare.

  • shadowMark

    [re=458771]shadowMark[/re]: There’s a large version (and lots of whining about it) at some blog called The Admonition.

    A comment at that blog says the picture comes from the photo session Palin did for “Runner’s World” magazine. The comment also says that the issue of Runner’s World with Palin in it sold 7x the normal monthly sales volume.

    I don’t know. If Palin can keep herself from sounding as crazy as, say, Perot, she might become president.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    …It’s gonna take a lot to take me away from you
    There’s nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do

    Thanks.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=458771]shadowMark[/re]: Hah — believe it or not, that Sarah going rogue (this time against the tyranny of fashion) for Runner’s World magazine. The other pics in the gallery are quite special as well. I believe Wonkette did a thing about it at the time, too, which resulted in numerous Blingees and sordid Photoshoppery.

  • El Pinche

    [re=458773]Yoko Ono[/re]: Yeah, agree, not enough Midiverb II.

  • Sleeves

    [re=458769]El Pinche[/re]: This is enough embarrassment for one entire lifetime. I’m back in front of my Amiga 500 in 1990, daydreaming about per-reforming my high school assemblies.

  • Yoko Ono

    [re=458777]El Pinche[/re]: A DAT video is still awesome.

  • CanadianBacon

    According to the great one, Rush Limbaugh, he says he told Ms. Palin, quote, “people who get hold of this, like the AP or any of the state-controlled media, they are going to focus on the soap opera aspects of your book, and they are going to ignore what is truly one of the most substantive policy books I`ve read.”
    Look the momentum is growing just like a big ball of, um, of something or other rolling down a hill. Just wait till it hits the fan.
    And the best part is now officially Wonkette is part of the state controlled media.

  • snideinplainsight

    I am very sorry, while I am making carrot fritters and vacuuming my car out this weekend, u guys are working double-triple time on this blundered-up stuff that they spin bc of my visits w press – while I apologize I say I love you guys!!

  • artpepper

    [re=458780]CanadianBacon[/re]: I would totally believe it’s one of the most substantive policy books that Rush Limbaugh has ever read.

  • sati demise

    [re=458774]shadowMark[/re]: No, she can’t become potus.
    The Independents do not care for her …24 to 33% is her range.
    Americans are not going to let the Xtian right take over. No pro-forced pregnancy theocrats in power, never, evah.
    Sarah is the Queen of the Pro Life movement.
    A pro-lifer (ha ha) murdered a doctor while he was attending church.

  • NYNYNY

    [re=458772]CanadianBacon[/re]: I just imagined trackor trailers packed to the edges with copies of ‘Going Rogue’ being hauled to he furtherestest reaches of Alaska on the ice hiways. Half of them translated into Inuit. An ancient Inuit man on the most desolate island in the Arctic finally gets his copy, gratis, paid for by the Alaskan Pentecostal Society, and he places it with reverence on the shelf along side his only other two books; the Bible and Raymond Carver’s Will You Please Be Quiet Please.

  • El Pinche

    [re=458782]snideinplainsight[/re]: Sounds like a good time while I’m on the verge of a gastropod/fish war. My snails somehow forced out my suckerfish from their homes in my aquarium:
    http://www.fileden.com/files/2009/2/22/2334311/SANY0047_split.jpg
    Yeah, and I’m needing sex ,as you can tell.

    [re=458778]Sleeves[/re]: There was nothing like starting up CLI and waiting four hours for Leisure Suit Larry to load.

  • gurukalehuru

    [re=458748]shadowMark[/re]: Meghan, Meghan, Meghan…it’s a public issue now, and the public needs to know. Until you start shtupping somebody, you are going to be linked with every semi-famous available male on the planet.
    I don’t mean this in a bad way. I think you are a very attractive young lady, even if your father is a corrupt old fool, and I wish you the best of luck.
    btw, that Levi kid may be dumb, but he’s not ugly. You could do worse.

  • zhubajie

    [re=458573]chascates[/re]: Wait till 2013 and you’ll pick it up at Good Will for 50 cents.

  • Sleeves

    [re=458787]El Pinche[/re]: Your plecostomus has a real talent for living. Typical.

    If it reads snail aestivation, it will assume the full deployment of any nasty biological weaponry. It will be stressed about this.

  • FlipOffResearch

    If you liked Bush you’ll love Palin.

  • O_o

    [re=458774]shadowMark[/re]: “I don’t know. If Palin can keep herself from sounding as crazy as, say, Perot, she might become president.”

    And if my aunt had a dick she’d be my uncle.

  • chascates

    Anyone in Denver or Boulder? I’m hearing it’s snowing there.

  • Sleeves

    [re=458793]chascates[/re]: Light snow here in NM at 7700 ft, looks just the same in Denver:
    http://www.thedenverchannel.com/livecams/index.html

  • desertwind

    I SURE HOPE “OUR EDITORS” COAX PRINCESS SPARKLE PONY OUT OF RETIREMENT.

    He’s just gotta do a review of this schling.

  • chascates

    [re=458794]Sleeves[/re]: Maybe once a year we get to see some flakes coming down here in Austin. About 27 years ago there was an actual snow storm that dropped maybe a foot or so all over town. People abandoned their cars and cabs made a fortune. UT, the state offices, and most businesses were shut down for at least one day.
    After almost 60 days of 100+ degree days this year I’d sure like something like that again.

  • QueenOfTheDamned

    OK, I’ve finally figured it out. Sarah’s been on special assignment from Dick Cheney to work out the most effective torture in the universe. And, by golly, she’s done it! I’ve poked myself in both eyes with sharp sticks, shoved burning cigarettes up my nose, played Russian Roulette, waterboarded myself– none of it came close to the agony induced by slogging through four pages of leaked “policy” on Todd’s shirtless hotness and other vital matters. By the time John McCain gets to page 10, he’ll think he’s back in the Hanoi Hilton.

  • Sleeves

    [re=458796]chascates[/re]: O’ far out, my brother lives on Enfield Road. Not too long ago, he was thrilled enough by one of those supercell hailstorms to hop into the bathtub. (We grew-up in semi-Arrakeen central Nevada where such things don’t happen.)

  • Extemporanus

    [re=458755]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]: Yo Def C, I’m really happy for you. I’ma let you finish, but Oprah Winfrey is Nicolet High School’s greatest alumnus of all time! Its greatest alumnus of all time!*

    [*Oprah Winfrey briefly attended Nicolet High School, and didn’t graduate due to the fact that 1) she was black, and the school didn’t want to set an unpalatable precedent, and 2) she got busted blowing her Latin teacher in the Coffee Trader bathroom after dropping acid at a Sly and the Family Stone concert at Summerfest.

    Also, I totally hate myself for doing the Kanye schtick, but, well…it’s late, so, like, whever haters. Suck it!]

    [re=458774]shadowMark[/re]: The Admonition blog: “This book will be dissected like no other.”

    Fucking called it!

    [re=458776]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Ahh, a walk down mammary lane…current=2_palins_1_stump_fxt.jpg”>mammary lane.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=458801]Extemporanus[/re]: HTML shart?! I said it was late…

  • BlueStateLibtard

    [re=458797]QueenOfTheDamned[/re]: I don’t want you to gouge out your other eye, but here is more wisdom from our Sarah:

    “If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?”

    There is a polar bear somewhere thinking exactly the same thing about you, Sarah.

  • El Pinche

    [re=458790]Sleeves[/re]: Peace talks are underway. The word escargot goes a long way.

  • Bruno

    I was first shocked and surprised when years ago I started seeing people reading Harry Potter books on public transport. I’m not sure what I will do what I will do if I see someone ‘reading’ this book. I suspect it will end up on coffee tables of trailer parks everywhere, spine uncracked. Or as yet another investing into a ‘first-edition collectable’ instead of a hummel figurine (or admittedly those Omama commemorative plates).

  • Click

    [re=458805]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: I read that exact same line in a piece Sarah wrote for ‘Alaska’ magazine called: “Going Ragu.”
    I still have a question though – where’d god get the original meat to make these animals?

  • Click

    [re=458789]zhubajie[/re]: Actually, Goodwill no longer accept items that may contain human effluence. It’s a liability issue.

  • Fly Over Girl

    Anyone planning on crashing a book signing just for kicks?

    http://www.thesarahpalinblog.com/2009/11/more-dates-for-sarah-palin-book.html

    My suspicion would be that if Palin’s signings are handled like her previous attempts at media outreach, there could be potential to have some fun.

    Check the comments as well. I hope “klring7” is one of ours.

  • maven

    [re=458520]SayItWithWookies[/re]: And they’ve only read John 3:165 in a simplified English translation…

  • RoscoePColtraine

    I like Sarah P’s homespun, folk-style philosophy. Next time I have teetotaler’s over for dinner, I’ll say, “if God had not intended for us to get drunk, why did he put alcohol in my cocktail?” They’ll laugh and marvel at my plain-spoken cleverness and wit.

  • x111e7thst

    [re=458814]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: And if God did not intend for me to have blowjobs why did He put my dick in that fellow and/or ladies mouth?

  • Click

    [re=458816]x111e7thst[/re]: And why is my vagina’s negative space shaped exactly like a giant schlong?

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=458817]Click[/re]: There’s a point to be made here regarding God’s intention for mankind and buttsecks, but I’ll be darned if I can figure out how to word it.

  • Go Figure

    Sadly, the book falls short of being worthy of collecting animal droppings.

  • Click

    [re=458818]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: All I know is it has its beginnings way back in the Garden of Eden when God got REALLY pissed off and scared Adam so bad he instinctively assumed the fecal position.
    God then proceeeded to satisfy himself and, well, the rest is history.

  • Click

    [re=458820]Click[/re]: Who keeps fucking up my spelling afetr I hit “submit?” Knock it off goddammit.

  • gurukalehuru

    Anything that can be done will be done so if god has provided the raw materials, that makes him/her/it a co-conspirator in whatever evil or simply degenerate activities which follow.

    And if he/she/it screwed up, that’s tough.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=458821]Click[/re]: Are you talking about “fecal?” HA! I thought that it was well-selected and intentional. Are you saying it was an accidental stroke of genius?

  • geminisunmars

    [re=458825]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: A flash of genus.

  • Violenza

    I can HEAR the smirk after usage of “whom”. Fancy-pants Ivy League whom! The writing is so bad that I can’t believe it’s actually from the book, but then I think again and I most certainly believe it’s from the book. Yuck. What a fool.

  • Click

    [re=458825]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I refuse to answer that question in front of God on the grounds He might incinerate me.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    Why is the Newsweek article entirely about how much Obama sucks? Was there not enough to write about how awesome Sarah is?

  • geminisunmars

    [re=458805]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: Is this a really real quote?

    And if G-d had made animals of matzoh, it would have been enough.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=458828]Click[/re]: Now why would he do that, when he could just as easily give you a marvelous case of boils? Boils have the double advantage of being painful AND embarrassing. And God never does anything half-assed according to Sarah P.

  • Jukesgrrl

    [re=458812]Fly Over Girl[/re]: “Anyone planning on crashing a book signing just for kicks?” If you do, you’re braver than I, Gunga Din. I’m absolutely afraid of those people. They all have guns and they’d no doubt like to show off their fire power to the Snowbilly.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=458828]Click[/re]: Don’t worry — The LORD’s punishments always seem to fall well after any limit for cause-and-effect to be attributed — leave it to His army of confabulators to make the retribution immediate in their later stories. As in:
    “Well, we all thought it was Jethro Bunsworth who shot the pastor’s prize hog, and after he dropped dead on his kitchen floor we knew.”
    “Mildred, Jethro died twenty years after that hog been shot.”
    “Be that as it may — the LORD’s patience is infinite, but His wrath will out.”

  • Click

    [re=458831]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Jesus – and speaking of wasting trees (or was it linen back then?), The Book of Job could easily have been condensed into one succinct entry: “After riding abroad (ah-hem)for a month, I just arrived back here to the Land of Uz with a nasty case of herpes. Thankfully the missus bought my story of how it was just some skin rash caused by the Almighty. The end.”

  • DoctorCulturae

    Since the mentioned/implied and fact checkers are going to be the first responders to this mess, my interest is when the grammarians and proofreaders they get hold of this. Typos people! We need meaningful typos!

  • ShiningMathPath

    [re=458761]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Burma Shave – HENNGH?

  • x111e7thst

    [re=458833]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Sometimes the LORD punishes me for sins I have not yet committed. I think this is because past, present and future are all the same to HIM. Then I have to figure out what the sin in question is and rush to get it done. Which is all well and good if the sin in question involves drugs and kinky sex, but rather tedious if it’s Usury or Simony.

  • Click

    [re=458832]Jukesgrrl[/re]: So she meant “crash” in the figurative sense? Oh. Damn.
    “Hey, Honey – it looks like you can scrap my steel-plated reinforced bumper and put away the welding torch.”

  • Click

    [re=458838]x111e7thst[/re]: My sins usually involve Hosiery and Simonizing.

  • Sleeves

    [re=458837]ShiningMathPath[/re]: Yaught, could be the new Coupé Nutz.

  • shadowMark

    [re=458830]geminisunmars[/re]: Not only is it really real–well, it’s actually from the book, for whatever that counts towards “real”–but Sarah elaborates about her love for flesh:

    “I love meat. I eat pork chops, thick bacon burgers, and the seared fatty edges of a medium-well-done steak. But I especially love moose and caribou. I always remind people from outside our state that there’s plenty of room for all Alaska’s animals — right next to the mashed potatoes.”

    Sarah Palin. She loves meat. Big meat. Well done.

    Please, God, somewhere in the book let Sarah say she feels a pearl necklace from the man she loves always makes a woman smile.

  • BlueStateLibtard

    [re=458830]geminisunmars[/re]: Yes, according to Huffington Post. Here’s another bizarro one

    “That day in sunny Texas when the divorce rumors were rampant in the tabloids, I watched Todd, tanned and shirtless, take the baby from my arms and walk him back to the ranch house so Trig could nap while I made calls. Seeing Todd’s blue eyes smiling, I chuckled.”

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=458842]shadowMark[/re]:
    I love meat. I eat pork chops, thick bacon burgers, and the seared fatty edges of a medium-well-done steak. But I especially love moose and caribou…”

    Notice how easy it is for her to list the things she enjoys reading eating.

  • Neilist

    This caught my eye in the L.A. Times this morning:

    “A landmark congressionally funded study of adolescent behavior, “The National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health,” suggests that the Palin family’s situation is not uncommon. it found that white, evangelical adolescents lose their virginity, on average, at age 16 — earlier than any group except black Protestants. In Lubbock, Texas, where abstinence education has been mandated since 1995, the rate of gonorrhea is now double the national average, while teen pregnancy has spiked to the highest levels in the state.”

    To which the only possible response is, of course, “PRAISE JESUS!”

  • Darkness

    [re=458686]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Those checks from the oil companies simply force prices up. Too much money chasing too few goods. If someone has a better explanation, I’d be curious to hear it. Prices are high even in Anchorage, where they should be cheaper because shipping by ocean is typically inexpensive.

  • Neilist

    [re=458805]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: She stole that “made them out of meat” line from Fran Liebowitz, actually. Odd that Ms. Palin would quote one of the Cursed Tribe That Murdered The Lamb of God . . . and then served him with mint sauce.

  • Fly Over Girl

    [re=458832]Jukesgrrl[/re]: If everyone wants to take up a collection to pay for my motel room, I think I actually have to be in South Sioux City, Nebraska on 12/05 (the day before her signing in Sioux City, IA). I’d stay and get pics if others want to fund it.

    [re=458839]Click[/re]: I would be willing to crash something into one of her signings. I might feel bad about injuring the other books until I remembered it’s guilt by association at that point.

  • ShiningMathPath

    [re=458847]Neilist[/re]: From “The Reluctant Cannibal” song, by Flanders and Swann, 1956 – a dialog between a cannibal father and his son, who is refusing to eat the prepared “Roast leg of insurance salesman”:

    But people have always eaten people, what else is there to eat?
    If the juju had meant us not to eat people, he wouldn’t have made us of meat!

    http://www.thurb.com/humour/cannibal.htm

  • ShiningMathPath

    [re=458840]Click[/re]: wax on, wax off?

  • geminisunmars

    [re=458842]shadowMark[/re]: [re=458843]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: Thanks for the references. I must say that when I read that I slapped my knee, and then I LOLed. “…right next to the mashed potatoes.” What a wit that woman possesses. Now that I’ve been able to see a few exerpts, methinks we have misjudged her.

    I’m not a vegetarian or vegan, but reading that made me want to become one. My arteries were shrieking, even while my blue (well, green really) eyes were smiling.

  • memzilla

    [re=458835]DoctorCulturae[/re]: Fact checkers’ first take on the Caribou Barbie blithering:

    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/2009/11/13/2009-11-13_fact_check_palins_book_goes_rogue_on_some_facts_.html

    Hey, it’s 4:00pm, Jim’s just had his first cup of coffee, maybe he can add to this?

  • Click

    [re=458846]Darkness[/re]: “shipping by ocean is typically inexpensive.” Yeah, it’s only when you start getting fancy with ferries and container ships that your prices go up. As for that hefty diaper bill – hey, CHANGE is something the Palins believe in.

  • Click

    [re=458850]ShiningMathPath[/re]: With dudes it’s mostly the latter.

  • Yoko Ono

    Song of Sarah 4:21,
    “watched Todd, tanned and shirtless, ….Seeing Todd’s blue eyes smiling, I chuckled. Then we fucked like moose in matin’ season, ‘We need more Trigs’, I screamed. Todd’s one-eyed rattler then said, coyly, ‘I’m Going Rogue, Yee-Haa.”

  • Click

    Sarah: “I am the first to say, ‘Buck up or stay in the truck.'”
    Ah, yes, and she still smiles whenever she thinks back to her first fishing trip with Todd when he told her “Hump or jump.”

  • Servo

    [re=458842]shadowMark[/re]:
    Once again, Sarah proves that her life is cliché and meaningless. Funny how she believes that He created the world so we can destroy it. What a fuckin’ narrow-minded moron!

  • zhubajie

    [re=458780]CanadianBacon[/re]: So what is her policy?

  • geminisunmars

    [re=458862]zhubajie[/re]: Meat.

  • zhubajie

    You know, the buyers aren’t actually going to read her book, anymore than they read the Bible on the coffee table. It’ll be just another good luck charm, like the Bible is.

  • Fly Over Girl

    [re=458855]Yoko Ono[/re]: No more Trigs for them! I heard Going Rogue is like British slang for unprotected anal sex.

  • Flanders

    [re=458748]shadowMark[/re]: or that Sarah is actually BLACK?

  • zhubajie

    [re=458872]geminisunmars[/re]: Pig meat? That’ll help with the Iowa primaries.

  • zhubajie

    [re=458818]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Re G-d, “He who sits in the heavens laughs them to scorn!” (Psalm 2: 4). In other words, sexuality is all a big joke, likewise all other human pretensions. Really we’re just baboons standing on our hind legs and our politics is just so much debating over who has the biggest reddest ass!

  • savethearcticloon

    [re=458942]zhubajie[/re]: well, … yeah!

  • zhubajie

    [re=458845]Neilist[/re]: Probably molested by the preacher or the youth minister.

  • zhubajie

    [re=458913]zhubajie[/re]: Maybe she can get the endorsement of the Iowa Pork Queen.

  • zhubajie

    [re=458909]Flanders[/re]: Well, Warren G. Harding was Black, just a lot lighter-skinned than his aunts and uncles. Todd is an Eskimo or half-Eskimo, so there’s colored relatives there.

    Todd’d be the first Native American to live in the White House!

  • Darkness

    [re=458853]Click[/re]: If they were really all about subsistence they’d just leave the kid in a room with a bare floor and a really hungry dog.

    Shipping by ocean container is roughly 1/9 the cost of shipping by truck per ton-mile. So it should cost roughly the same to ship 2000 miles over the ocean to a port as it does to ship 1000 miles over the ocean and 100 miles inland. And frankly anchorage is 1700 miles CLOSER to shanghai than LA is. I wouldn’t want to live in alaska anyway, but I thought it weird the one time I was forced to go there for business. I think someone has captured the market and is screwing them over. Plus, yeah the salmon was plentiful and fresh, but no one could cook it for shit.

  • Click

    [re=458991]Darkness[/re]: Actually it just sounded funny to me to ship something “by ocean.” Sorry. Anyway, when I lived up north some 20+ years ago I remember food prices being through the roof and it was always blamed on freight costs. What did I know? I guess when the state hands you a $900 check annually (so you’ll leave the room while Exxon gets busy drilling and laying pipe) you learn not to ask questions.

  • zhubajie

    [re=458697]thehelveticascenario[/re]: Born-again bordello? The gals all witness to you as they ride you?

  • zhubajie

    [re=458991]Darkness[/re]: How would prices compare between Anchorage and the nearest Canadian city? Is BC as expensive as Alaska?

  • zhubajie

    [re=458845]Neilist[/re]: Well, they rely on wishful thinking instead of realistic thinking. Result: the real world makes their horny little darlings pregnant. Often enough, the father IS the preacher, the youth counselor, the choirmaster, etc.

    Pentecostalism in particular is for people who don’t want to be logical but instead want to assume that every wild hair up their ass is a message from G-d. Hence the successes of preachers telling the girls “take your dress off! G-d wants you to have sex with me!” True story.

  • zhubajie

    [re=459004]Click[/re]: $900 is 5400 rmb, about what a foreign english teacher might earn per month from a Chinese university. It’s not an enormous amount of money, even in China. In Alaska, will it even keep you in diapers? Meth?

  • zhubajie

    Laugh while you can, everyone, but Palin or people like her are the future of the USA! :-(

  • gurukalehuru

    [re=459090]zhubajie[/re]: People like Palin have always been with us. However, it is only recently that they have been seriously considered for public office.

  • Click

    [re=459086]zhubajie[/re]: That was over 20 years ago mind you (the amount actually varied yearly depending on oil revenues)and since close to half the state was on WIC and food stamps (don’t go trying to buy boxes of cornstarch to satisfy your kid’s hunger with those – the government’s on to you)$900 was alot of bones. Also since each man, woman, and CHILD recieves that annual payoff – the more kids you have, the more money you get (most Alaskans weren’t smart enough to realize that it cost more than $900 a year to raise a kid).

  • Darkness

    [re=459054]zhubajie[/re]: Hm, I was just in BC last week (Vancouver) and minus the VAT and sales tax, prices were quite reasonable. Except for wine, which is taxed to death. GAh.

    Another Pacific port where things are insanely high is Honolulu, where I lived for a few months last year. Perhaps it’s just size of market, rather than shipping distance that is getting them hosed. And/or the too many dollars too few goods theory. But given that ships have to go past Hawaii to get to the West Coast of the U.S. . . . just seems odd. If I moved long term to either place, I’d be doing some serious digging into whether it was really an open market because it would piss me off.

    [re=459004]Click[/re]: Yeah, moving stuff over water (any water) is cheap. That’s why the Panama Canal and the Mississippi are so unbelievably busy. So, when I see a retail market AT a container port and shit at the store, even non perishables, is expensive, my brain goes into wtf conspiracy mode.

  • kungfusheriff

    [re=458851]geminisunmars[/re]: She stole that line too. Some chain restaurant used it on a billboard a few years back. I have a picture of it someplace, which I saved because I’m a hillbilly carnivore doofus.

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