JON CORZINE IS TAKING “NEW JERSEY” SO LITERALLY: “Asked directly if he thought [Chris] Christie was fat, Corzine touched his bare head, smiled and said, ‘Am I bald?'” By default Jon Corzine is now automatically governor of eighth grade and certain parts of the South Shore of Long Island. [Ben Smith]

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  1. That’s a really divisive message, Mr. Corzine. If you want to talk to Republicans in terms they feel is humane and egalitarian, you should hang Mr. Christie in effigy.

  2. Christie’s weight is the “elephant in the living room” of NJ politics. Some people think its some kind of discrimination, anti-fat-fuckism, but there are legitimate issues here. For example, when you look at Christie, you just know he eats babies, and he has never denied eating babies (someone remind me to buy the domain name “ If he is elected, how do we know he won’t eat our babies? And when he is sitting around the Statehouse, is he going to be sitting AROUND the Statehouse? Serious questions.

  3. [re=432134]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Actually, wouldn’t being a fat, lazy slob – with a lousy driving record be a selling point????

    You see a whole lotta fat around here, but in all honesty, it’s nothing like the fat you see in Pennsylvania.

  4. Well, how many ways are there, exactly, to state the obvious? “Why, yes, Chris Christie’s body mass index is above the threshold value established by health-care professionals which delineate the regimes of ‘healthy individual’ and ‘lardass’.”

  5. (Ominous music and insinuating voice over)

    “How can Chris Christie be trusted to cut state pending when he can’t even cut his own food intake to 6000 calories per day?

    Chris Christie. He’s a big, fat, disgusting glutton.

    Be careful, New Jersey. He may be coming to eat YOU.”

  6. [re=432166]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Chris Christie; he so fat, in the summer he sells shade. He has to wear two wristwatches, one for each time zone. He walked in front of the TV one time, and I missed three shows. It takes him two trips to haul ass. He has his own area code. His cereal bowl has a lifeguard. When he goes to a restaurant and looks at the menu and orders, all he says is “yes.”

  7. I think Corzine’s campaign signs are prettier. They are myriad mellow shades of blue. I think I’ll vote for him for that reason. Or because he’s not Chris Christie–one of those.

  8. To be served at the next Chris Christie fund raiser:

    moules marinieres, pate de foie gras, beluga caviar, eggs benedictine, a leek tart, frogs’ legs amandine and quail’s eggs, all mixed together in a bucket with the quail eggs on top and a double helping of pate, six bottles of Ch√Ęteau Latour 1945, a double jeroboam of champagne, and half a dozen crates of brown ale

    This is just Mr. Christie’s portion, alone.

  9. [re=432308]schvitzatura[/re]: The bag of dicks. You forgot the bag of dicks! You trying to starve Chris Christie?

    He’ll have to steal a UNICEF bowl if you’re in charge of the menu.

  10. So if Chris Crispy gets elected will the state provide healthcare or is his fatself a pre-existing condition?

    Oh, and I second all the previous comments about Pennsylvania…

  11. A New Jersey gentlemen would answer this question with this:

    “Why are you fucking asking me such a fucking stupid question, you fucking goomba?”

    Instead, he answered it, at all.

  12. My response would have been something to the effect of: “I don’t actually have any idea what Christie looks like. Who do you think I am to be checking out pictures of men all the time, Jim McGreevey?”

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