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Do you ever read a news headline and actually say, “Ha. Oh fuck,” aloud? WELL, “Lieberman Finally Used That Nazi/Afghanistan Analogy Everyone Could Tell Was Up His Sleeve” and its variations had that effect on your Wonkette Morning Editor! See, it makes negative zero sense to compare the situation to the Vietnam, Lieberman says, because America went into Vietnam out of its own volition. And America didn’t start the Afghanistan War—Christ no—9/11 started the Afghanistan War. In the same way that the Nazis started WWII! So, what, are we just supposed to let 9/11 and the Nazis win a world war??

No, for then we would be guilty of orchestrating a 9/11 against Democracy:

“It’s more like, and I hate to use the analogy, it is like the Second World War,” he went on. “Shortly after it was over, if the Nazis began to form again and tried to take back Germany from a new democratic government, what would we have done? We would not have stood by and let it happen!”

Point is, if we pull out of Afghanistan, the entire Earth will be speaking German in two weeks.

[Huff Post]

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63 COMMENTS

  1. Wait!!! We didn’t go into Vietnam of our own volition. We went because the Japanese Navy under Joseph Stalin bombed our naval fleet that was stationed in the Gulf of Tonkin. I know beacuse I was a history major* in college.

    *not really

  2. [re=419206]norbizness[/re]: At least the Nazis had Wagner. The Taliban plays camel hockey with the body of a young goat. (Actually kind of Wagnerian innit?)

    Okay, Nazis with heroin, that’s an acceptable outcome.

  3. okay this might be completely crazy and off topic but doesn’t lieberman in this pic look like an aged Bobby Flay? Disclaimer: I hate Bobby Flay, so in no way is this an endorsement of that old bag of feces.

  4. [re=419213]ForTheTurnstiles[/re]: the Taliban don’t play no music or play any games. All they do is Jihad. The Afghan people want to fly kites and have buttsex, but the Taliban won’t let em.

  5. Remember this guy addressing the Republican National Convention last summer? No?

    Well, all right then, I guess he can still sit with the Dems in the Senate. Because after all: the bankers like him. And what bankers like is what we get.

    Any more questions? I didn’t think so.

  6. “I hate to use this analogy, but I have proven over and over again that I am utterly spineless. In fact, not only am I lacking a spine, I am without any of fiber whatsoever. Under this thin layer of pasty, sagging, yellowing skin, there is only a foul and toxic gelatinous bile.”

  7. “Shortly after it was over, if the Nazis began to form again and tried to take back Germany from a new democratic government, what would we have done?”

    Wow. That is just an insane, wildly irresponsible statement, and his critical understanding of 20th century history rivals that of a 7th grader on the honor roll.

  8. If Joementum wants to usee the Nazi analogy, this means the Tallyban will have a significant presence in the Afghani govt for about 30 years postwar, like “former” Nazis did in West Germany. Analogy flail & fail.

  9. we beat the nazis by killing a lot of germans and other people, bombing the fuck out of western europe, supplying the russians with war trash while they did the bulk of the work, then occupying the whole span of wreckage with a military government that did not tolerate civilians running around with weapons, and we didn’t allow the nazi leadership to escape to sweden and carry on the war from there. how we’re going to replicate the feat in afghanistan — where the russians have already been defeated — this cat can’t figure. we’ve lost our willingness to slaughter people on a grand scale and in a timely fashion, and without a willingness to slaughter with alacrity, wars are difficult to win.

  10. 1949 Germany = ethnically unified nation; 2009 Afghanistan = crazy patchwork of tribal enemies. 1949 West Germany = fears Red Invasion, begs Allied troops to stay. 2009 Afghanistan = “death to infidels” is national motto. 1949 Germany, modern, industrialized nation with educated population on road to recovery; 2009 Afghanistan, less than 1000 flush toilets in entire country. 1949 West Germany = elects uncorrupt democrat Konrad Adenauer; 2009 Afghanistan led by Hamid Karzi, stuffer of ballot boxes and Swiss bank accounts.

    Yeah, Joe, Germany and Afghanistan are like twin brothers separated at birth.

  11. Has anyone been convinced of something by a Nazi analogy? Ever? Seriously, they’re getting to be like articles or subject-verb agreement. We expect them in every sentence, but don’t ever really think about them.

  12. If Joe is gonna cite history regarding Afghanistan, more relevant data would come from the Soviet presence and the British presence of long ago.

    What a freakin’ waste.

  13. [re=419245]slappypaddy[/re]: See, I told you. Eventually everyone will be begging us (evil old fat white guys ) to crank up the B -52’s and lay waste to an evil empire. Unfortuanately it is the tried and true method that works every time.
    You don’t believe me? I’m willing to take bets.
    Seriously, do you think humans have evolved any in the last 100 years? Are we suddenly so much more evolved that we won’t solve our conflicts by any other method than mass slaughter?
    sorry, Santa was up all night with a fucking Cisco 1850 that refused to connect via a VPN to some other Cisco router in Austin.

  14. [re=419285]Pithaughn[/re]: “Santa was up all night with a fucking Cisco 1850 that refused to connect via a VPN to some other Cisco router in Austin.”

    I hate that when that happens…

  15. I think a more appropo analogy would be the Norman Conquests. We’re have problems finishing this war because we never got around to making some fancy-schmancy tapestry about the whole thing.

  16. Nazis? You mean the Taliban is just like Obama and feminists and that guy who directed Transformers?

    Seriously. More than half the soldiers serving in Afghanistan aren’t even US troops – they’re private, DynCorp etc. The only thing the US is doing is paying for it. If Lieberman wants more war, he doesn’t need to get more support from the US government by screaming about Nazis, he just needs more money to pay for more military contractors.

    The real question is, why is he trying to get that money from a single mom in Toledo, with a sick kid and balding tires on her 1998 Pontiac, for his war against Afghanistan and eventually Iran? Are they a threat to her? No. Is there anywhere else he could raise the money? Not just Israel, but also Saudi Arabia and the Gulf States, which are also threatened by Iran. And China for that matter. They’re the ones that are threatened, and frankly, they’ve got their own cash to pay DynCorp’s salaries. Leave US taxpayers out of it.

  17. [re=419336]friendlyskies[/re]: Those contract “troops” are a lot more like armed mall cops than soldiers. Mostly, they frisk people at checkpoints, and drive around with VIPs, pointing machine guns at traffic. Not a substitute for a real army.

  18. — “Unlike Vietnam,” said Lieberman. “Afghanistan is a place from which America was attacked on 9/11.” —

    Apparently Newark Airport is now known as Afghanistan.

  19. ***Sigh***

    The thing about Afgansistan, folks, is that those people don’t have shit. And when you don’t have shit, you don’t have shit to lose, which makes you far more apt to be very resistant to an occupying force that wants to dismantle important parts of your religion- like ownership of women or the absolute right to murder homosexuals by dropping walls on them. So they will fight, and fight, and fight until there simply isn’t a single Afghan left, because why? Because life sucks over there anyway, if you aren’t fighting you just have to go back to trying to grow rice out of the fucking desert, and you don’t have shit to lose in the first place so why not?

    People tend to overlook these facts when they embark on military adventures in Afghanistan. Obama didn’t start that war, but he should end it, and soon.

  20. [re=419373]Crank Tango[/re]:(stupid iPhone) …where we let some taliban spies escape, to help fight the Russians, and we take some Taliban rocket scientists, to help fight the russians…did that part happen already?

  21. [re=419375]Tommmcatt[/re]: hey hey hey, they DO have shitloads of heroin (see above)!

    Can we send the DEA over there for a little bloodletting before we pull out entirely? Or better yet, can we pull out now and leave the DEA there to hold the fort?

  22. Oh yeah, it’s just like WWII. Take for example the nightly Afghan blitzes of London and the threat of the overwhelming Afghan war machine invading the U.S. in all its technological might. O Joe, now you’ve got me fucking scared shitless. Will you save us, Joe?

  23. Does everyone here uncritically think that pulling out of Afghanistan is a good idea?

    Two arguments for it. 1. The Taliban will almost certainly resume control of the country within months. That would give the Taliban, and thus, Al Qaeda and any other group of whackos a staging area. 2. That staging area would further destabilize a seriously unstable, nuclear armed Pakistan.

    I’m not sure of my views on this issue, but I’m dismayed by the utter lack of real discussion of it.

  24. [re=419974]Superspam[/re]: wrong site dude. no real discussion here unless buttsecs and trucknutz. this is how we fiddle as rome burns.

    also, no, i don’t think it’s a good idea.

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