JENNY SANFORD & KIDS MOVE OUT LIKE WHOA: The Sanfords are back from their merry two-week jaunt to the country Europe! So… how’d it go??? “First Lady Jenny Sanford announced Friday she is moving with her four sons to Charleston and will no longer live in the Governor’s Mansion.” NOT WELL, EH? The State even has a photo of Jenny and her slave haulin’ boxes. Again: good call with the prolonged affair in Argentina there, Mark! Gotta feel sorry for the four rugrats. [The State]

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  1. Gov. Mark Sanford later issued a statement saying he stood by the decision and that it was best for the family’s reconciliation process and for the boys in the coming school year.

    Well, it’ll give him lots more time to explore those infrequently visited nooks and crannies of the Appalachian Trail, that’s for sure.

  2. Doesn’t she know that as a political wife, she’s supposed to stay married to the dude and then cash it all in with a million dollar book advance?

  3. When Gov. Sanford says he’s working on his marriage, does that include getting treatment for his delusion that he’s King David? Because anyone who thinks he has God’s special dispensation to fuck around is probably on the verge of something much, much crazier.

  4. The light in that photo makes it look like a drawing from Dick Tracy comics. Yet another Madonna connection, after “Don’t Cry For Me, Argentina”. Soon A-Rod will be knocking up the Sanford sons.

  5. What are dinner conversations like in their house with Daddy left behind?

    “Sometimes mommies and daddies need time on their own, and sometimes daddies spark with a hot tamale from south of the border.”

    How do you send your kids back to school after this? How do you protect them from what is certain to be incredible teasing and embarrassment?

    And with four of the little sumbitches always pestering you, how do you let hot Argentinian men know that you’re open for business on the revenge sex front?

  6. Why can’t we be so lucky as to get the Luv Guv to “pull a Palin” and quit and leave as well. It’s not like he’s done anything beneficial for our state the stupid bastard. I hear he can get a room real cheap on “C” Street.

  7. I can’t feel sorry for the kids. It would have been much easier if they had just gone to their Mom after one of their many ritual molestations and said: ” Hey I noticed something funny about the way Dad’s dick smelled this week…”

  8. Nothing like spending two weeks traveling with the family to realize how much they can’t build their dreams on suspicious minds when both she and he’s lost that loving feeling. And what’s worse, he can’t go back crying to Argentina since he blew up that bridge. It could have been worse for Mark if she flipped out and took a Skilsaw to his ‘nads.

    Apparently, Jenny’s new number is 867-5309.

    – Mark Sanford proposed a healing reconciliation in Europe
    – Mark Sanford leaves the hotel room for a “bucket of ice”
    – Jenny Sanford receives a phone call 4 hours later from the police division covering the red light district in Amsterdam, asking her to come bail out her husband, who was caught drunk in the street trying to propose marriage to various prostitutes
    – Mark and Jenny Sanford return to the U.S.A.
    – Jenny Sanford moves out of the Governor’s mansion with cartoon dollar signs flashing in her eyes, tells children daddy never loved them

  10. I kinda feel sorry for the two little ones, because they kinda look like him. And there’s probably not a lot of hot Argentinian elementary school tail at the Porter Gaud school in Charleston.

  11. Do his wingnut constituents know that this God-fearing, homo-hating, saviour of the white race in South Carolina is out vacationing in the land of Europe? Isn’t Myrtle Beach good enough for this saviour of all that is white and good?

  12. Mark Sanford: ONCE, I knew passion! ONCE, I knew true otherwordly amor on a high, spiritual, Argentinian plane! NOW, I will do the right thing and return to my cold, arid marriage and do my damnedest to MAKE IT WORK, warmed only by the knowledge that ONCE I basked in the sunlight of TRUE LOVE.

    Jenny Sanford: FUCK YOU

    I’m pretty sure there’s a hit Broadway musical in this story.

  13. It appears the school year in Charleston begins August 18, so it seems that her leaving now to get the kids in place for school is in fact a reasonable move, presuming of course that’s the district where they prefer their progeny be laughed at.

    Damn disappointing when facts come along and spoil a perfectly fun theory that she’s cold ditching his ass nearly a month before it’s necessary.

    Why the crikey does school get rolling in SC in mid-August? It’s hotter than hell.

  14. [re=380969]Mr Blifil[/re]: You just think everything is funny, don’t you WONKETT?

    Future careers of the Sanford children, from left to right

    1) killed in attempted Chik-Fil-A robbery
    2) grows up to play George W. Bush in Broadway production of Magog!
    3) chair of Young Republicans, at the age of 42
    4) faculty, dept. of hotel management, NC Community College

  15. Please stop making fun of her look – that’s a great hat.

    If I knew Gene Wilder put it up for grabs after giving the factory to Charlie Bucket, I would have bid on it myself.

  16. Charleston? How about Sturgis! Jenny and Megan could be this decade’s Thelma and Louise. Whatever biker she chooses should have a side-car where the kidlets can be stuffed.

  17. “Hello… yes it’s me Marco… what? No They’re gone… So what are you wearing?… Hold on a sec. Yeah… that’s better, OK, begin again.”

  18. Gov. Sparky couldn’t behave himself when the wife and kids lived with him.

    Now that he has the house to himself, he can really let loose.

  19. I feel bad — this women and her children have to put up with a lot of heat. And I’m not speaking figuratively — it’s freaking hot and muggy in South Carolina, and she’s practically wearing a burka.

  20. For a few weeks now, there has been a lot of complaints from residents of Governor’s Hill about all the fucking that goes on, in public, in the neighborhood. I guess Jenny has had it up to here with all the sex, too.

  21. I don’t feel sorry for the kids at all, Jim. They have health insurance, a household staff, and plenty to eat. Not to mention, matching ties. So their father is a douchenozzle- show me one who isn’t.

  22. I think the photo is very British royal familyish and the next to youngest boy looks like Freddie Highmore. The boys will be going to a new school but as the boys are 12 to 17- middle school and high school- life will be hell for them. Hey, thank Daddy for that,kids.

  23. [re=380991]Failed 2 Menace[/re]: you obviously haven’t been to SC…it’s always fucking hot. But we do have this thing called air conditioning.

  24. Looking through those series of moving photos fro the State’s website, with the gaggle of yentas surrounding her, but not really helping, and suddeny can understand why Mark Sanford stares off to distant shoes looking for warmth and passion…

  25. Aren’t those kids screwed anyway? They all have names that prepare them to be soap opera characters or romance novel heroes…

  26. [re=381128]PlanetWingnuta[/re]: live here long enough you learn to run from the plane to the car, from the car to the office, from the mailbox to the house, etc.

    also: you can use the Reply button if you want.

  27. [re=381122]PlanetWingnuta[/re]:

    Or jumping up and down on the sofa wearing nothing but a bedsheet and shouting, “TOGA!” “TOGA!” “TOGA!”

  28. [re=381120]takes12no1[/re]: I was thinking more of giving even the slightest of breaks to kids waiting for buses.

    August 18 is kind of the doggiest of dag days, ennit?

    All sew.

  29. Those poor kids. Dressed up like Mormon missionaries in hot August. Her outfit dates back to 1933. How sad. My four boys would have rebelled. Too bad Mr. Sanford did not use discretion. I think he needed Argentina in a bad way. However, he should have stood the expenses from his own wallet.

  30. Poor Jenny Sanford, leaving her sad-sack, cheating hypocrite of a husband “for the sake of” four little sad-sack doppelgangers of the morose dick who saddled her with them in the first place. Good luck raising better men.

    Maybe this train-wreck of a marriage is symbolic of all the “fiscal conservative” Wall Street types who aligned themselves with the Moral Majority Bible Thumpers back in the ’80s. Marriage of convenience, indeed. Look how it’s turned out for all involved!

  31. [re=381129]ph7[/re]: “distant shoes”- I didn’t know he was into the shooz fetish. Well, I guess they have some fancy shoes in South America. With all the beef – you have to do something with the skins

  32. Whoo Hee!

    That is one public move. Check out the State pix of the country club coven “helping” her. And her sons were there, too, apparently.

    Wow. Talk about leaving Sanford in the dog house.


  33. Jenny is showing some class now. She waited long enough, but she probably needed more time figuring out that he husband was such a dick (no pun intended.) Who should Jenny hook up with? Hmmm gears at work now. Lets find Jenny someone she can spend the rest of her life with. Someone now a wingnut, sleazeball, male hooker.

    I sure hope she left her wingnut husband a fleshlight on the way out.

  34. I would bet cash money that the pic with this article is from a January inauguration. There’s a lot of crazy in SC but even the batshit don’t wear a pashmina over a suit in August.

  35. Junior Leaguers, swaddled in their finest decade-old Chico’s and Coldwater Creek, console the newly-single Jen with a bouquet of carnations, nestled in a centerpiece containing the sweaty jocks from The Citadel two-a-day preseason football camp…

  36. [re=380991]Failed 2 Menace[/re]: School starts early in the South because of High School f’ball. Got to be able to play a full schedule plus the playoffs and that takes a lot of Fridays, y’all.

  37. ‘Stick a fork in Mark’

    Anthrax Intimidation.
    JFK RFK MLK Malcolm.
    Israel-first dual-nationals.
    InfoWars on a PrisonPlanet?
    A very RawStory on PressTV.
    Whistle-Blower leaks multiply.
    Beware the divide and conquer.
    Both parties are corrupt to the core.
    Honesty compassion conscience guts.
    Speak no evil, hear no evil, see no evil?
    Elite Ruling Class Greed or “public servants”?
    Independents agree on more than we disagree.
    AIPAC 9/11 Bankers Extortion Blackmail Bribery.
    Wall Street Bailout Bill: Bush McCain Obama et al.
    Poodles, Puppets, Sham debates, & Scam elections.
    Has the Government & Propaganda Media lied to you?
    Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
    Chronic lying as career path, intellectual prostitution for paycheck.
    DNC & RNC have both sold out the country in order to enrich themselves.
    Future of a Nation that can not trust the Government & Propaganda Media?

    Realignment of American Politics:
    Anderson Baldwin Carter Choate Clemente Gonzalez Gravel Kaptur Kucinich McKinney Nader Paul Perot Sheehan Ventura

  38. Sullivan’s Island is a nice place to be this time of year though the Junior Leaguers there won’t go to orgies — too many thank-you notes to write.

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