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Mount NobamaYes, it is Barack Obama’s 48th birthday today — or as he might put it, the ninth anniversary of his 39th birthday, HEY-O! Oh, aging. The point is: SMALL NATIONS, WHAT SHALST THY SACRIFICE? All must give Obama something. Antigua has already set the bar quite high by giving our president his own mountain, the erstwhile Boggy Peak: “Antigua’s highest mountain officially became ‘Mount Obama’ on Tuesday as the small Caribbean nation celebrated the American president on his birthday and saluted him as a symbol of black achievement.” A mere one mountain? INVADE. (Meawhile, your Wonkette will honor Obama by revealing his TRUE BIRTH CERTIFICATE, later. We so have it!) [AP]

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59 COMMENTS

  1. I demand to see this mountain’s long form birth certificate. I suspect it was actually birthed by geologic forces on Cuba, but was taken to Antigua when it was a small hill.

  2. If I were a pre-school teacher I would have the kiddies make Barack Obama Birth Certificates for Arts and Crafts. Then I’d mail them all to Orly Taitz.

  3. Great. Now all Obama needs is a species of Trap-door spider, an Hungarian bridge, and a space toilet and he’ll be on a par with Colbert.

  4. In related news, the Soggy Bottom ATV Ranch in the small nation of Texas has offically been renamed “Track NObama ATM Ranch” in honor of the illegal Kenyan muslin usurper president’s 48th un-birthday.

    Today’s festivities will include birther-on-bloodhound salad dressing wrestling, bobbing for dicks, and loaded gun juggling.

  5. I see him in one-quarter profile, lying down. Seems the Antiguans were kind enough to regrade the mountain to make it resemble him and even placed a tower just about where his cig goes.

  6. [re=378204]Cicada[/re]: Ha!

    This revelation just might kill every cracker and dial-up internet birfer troll in Mississippi. Stand up Afghanistan, Zimbabwe, and Venezuela, and give Barry a mountain as well. It is for the good of the world.
    Thanks.

  7. [re=378213]lee hussein oswald[/re]: You forgot about Colbert’s favorite gift, the eaglet he named after himself. Maybe Bruce Springsteen could give Little Steven to Obama. THEN they’d be even AND Colbert would have to tie a do-rag on a bald eagle. Fun times!

  8. [re=378219]One Yield Regular[/re]: Are you referring to Sunn Classic Pictures’ THE LEGEND OF BOGGY PEAK? I loved the scene where the creature scared Obama off the crapper.

  9. These Antigua guys are COPY CATS. I am the Interim Prime Minister For Life of the Sovereign Island nation of Swimfloatistan*, (Located near the north east shore of Lake Crescent) where just LAST WEEK we rededicated our lighthouse the Barack Hussein Obama Memorial Beacon of Hope and Change.

    We got that idea because our lighthouse is basically a solar-powered garden light that looks like a tiki-torch, y’know, like you see in Hawaii. Or Africa. Also because it pisses off my Republican mom to be naming stuff after Obama.

    *SWIMFLOATISTAN FUN FACTS:
    Type of Government: Constitutional Monarchy
    Current Monarch: not sure, we can’t find the constitution right now
    Size (in square kilometers): kinda dinky
    National Sport: snorkeling
    National Aquatic Sport: Diving
    National Tree: moss
    National Anthem: Sunshine Pussycat (don’t ask)
    Population: as many as 8 at a time (but very tippy!)
    Major Import: full beer bottles
    Major Export: empty beer bottles

  10. Somewhere, Harriet Christian is screaming “Goddman the state of Hawaii!!! Boggy Creek is now an inadequate black mountain!!!!!”

  11. How will they top that when he turns 50 in a couple of years? I mean, if today is in fact his REAL birthday and not just his “Hawaiian” birthday.

  12. [re=378296]dr.giraud[/re]: I wanted to come up with a variation on “The Ballad of Travis Crabtree” – that film’s number one Top 40 smash hit – but I have a job.

  13. [re=378342]Tommmcatt[/re]: Hahahahahah. Funny you should say that, since I’ve spent about 20 minutes on Wonkette in the last month, rather than my usual 2-3 hours/day.

    This is because I’M BUSTING MY ASS AT WORK ALL DAY. Ugh, tourist season in the hotel biz. (At night I still go out to the lake and dine on Chinook salmon and Dungeness crab, washed down with a decent NZ Sauvingnon Blanc or somesuch.)

  14. Okay, there is an English language report of the Turbaco, Colombia Obama birfday celebrations:

    The town’s former mayor, Silvio Carrasquilla, is a big fan of the U.S. President and used his village home as the Colombian campaign center when Democrat Obama was still campaigning alongside his Republican rival John McCain.

    Even though Obama lost some popularity in the United States after having served close to half a year in the White House, the Turbaco residents still love him enough to come up with mariachis, two cakes with the U.S. flag on it, a self-made portrait of Obama — to be given to the U.S. president on his first visit to the village — and a local star-spangled donkey, similar to that of the logo of the Democratic party.

    Obama turned 48 Monday and has not yet agreed to visit the small town in the Bolivar department.

  15. [re=378268]El Pinche[/re]: Watched Helen, watching Hillary for 2 hours this Spring, at my daughter’s NYU graduation at Yankee Stadium and not once did Helen put her hands together or emote, other than to squeeze her thighs together to stifle an after-coffee squirt at the tail end, so to speak. Soooooo professional.

    [re=378441]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Are you comping Wonketeers? Travel agents are standing by…

  16. [re=378451]EnBuenOra[/re]: Turbaco loves Obama, and Obama can’t quit the Turbaco. O.K., that was lame, I just needed to check in. Loved the Burro.

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