For years now, various people have been begging to take photographs of Arizona’s State Flower MEGHAN McCAIN posing in her girdle. Well now there’s encouraging news for horticulture enthusiasts around the globe! Meghan says she’d totally do it, except poor PAPA JOHN would probably crash another plane into VIETNAM, if he ever found out. So that’s at least a polite maybe! And speaking of beautiful cactus flowers, Meghan wants HILARY DUFF to play her in a highly anticipated MAJOR MOTION PICTURE based on the pop-up book Megan still needs to write ….
Like the rest of America, BARACK OBAMA’s Portuguese water buffalo BO SAMA BIN LADEN has a serious eating disorder and can’t stop snacking on MICHELLE OBAMA’S TOES between meals. And now not even toes can curb Bo’s insatiable appetite and he’s resorted to binging on clothing, like the time he devoured DAVID AXELROD’s clip-on tie made of 100% Rayon. Will Bo seek council from the wise PRO-ANA INTERNET FORUMS or will he continue down this dark path of PORTUGUESE WATER DOG BULIMIA? ….
Minnesota’s preeminent authority on voter intent AL FRANKEN has won! Something. And now he is looking for an office in DC, preferably in a neighborhood with good public schools ….
GOSSIP UPDATE! Professional loser NORM COLEMAN is being evicted from his office, for reasons that are still unclear. And now he has 48 hours to evacuate his collection of adjustable office chairs, the ones with the roller legs. Reliable gossipmongers say the new tenant will have no need for “chairs” as the office will be redecorated in a traditional MINNESOTA OPIUM DEN STYLE, complete with over-sized Turkish pillows for sitting upon. Don’t worry about it, Norm. There’s always blogging!
Riley Waggaman’s WAGG THE BOG appears constantly here at Wonkette. Send your hot gossip to the usual firstname.lastname@example.org