“ST. PAUL, Minn. – Republican Norm Coleman conceded to Democrat Al Franken in Minnesota’s contested Senate race on Tuesday, ending a nearly eight-month recount and court fight over an election decided by only a few hundred votes.” [AP]

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  1. Don’t worry, Pawlenty can still pull something out at the last second to make this last another 4 months or so. He has 2012 to think about.

  2. As usual, the use of the Drudge-derived lightbar on Wonkette means there is not a *peep* about this story on Drudge Report, much less a Drudge Siren.

    Why does Matt Drudge hate the law enforcement community?

  3. “When Al Franken gets seated” is no longer the replacement for “When pigs fly” (I’m looking at you all the people who made ‘swine flu’ jokes!).

  4. What’s the over/under on Senator Franken declaring “National Hot Dish Appreciation Week.” He has to repay the non-Lizard people.

  5. Old Man: Yes. The election is over. Your work is done. For them, each season has its tasks. If there were a season for gratitude, they’d show it more.
    Al Franken: I didn’t get any more votes than I expected, old man.
    Old Man: Only the Lizard People have won. They remain forever. They are like the land itself. You helped rid them of Coleman, the way a strong wind helps rid them of locusts. You’re like the wind – blowing over the land and… passing on. For gezinteh hait.
    Al Franken: Zayt gesunt.

  6. [re=351781]CrunchyKnee[/re]: Fortunately, don’t need Reid, just T-Paw to sign for Al, which Norm said he would do. When the Senate comes back from 4th of July next week, this will be first order of business.

  7. Remember right after the election when Coleman was all “Franken should concede already! For the good of the state we need to put this behind us.” Good times.

  8. Does this mean there’s not going to be a duel?

    But guess what, as a conscillation prize, Sen. Norm Coleman will be featured at Anthrocon 2009, Pittsburgh Pa, like days from now. Wonkette will even be sending unpaid interns to reveal exactly which furry contains Sen. Coleman.

  9. [re=351782]choom gangster[/re]: [re=351782]choom gangster[/re]: Lindsey Graham just slipped Pawlenty a one-ticket to the land of the gouchos. So many male bordellos to visit, so much time. Olé!

  10. [re=351836]octupletsmom[/re]: Texas: Yes.
    Standing: He stands deep in the aromatic cow pies of the Lone Star Snake. And he’s a lawyer, dangit.

  11. As Minnesotans heave a weary sigh of relief, Norm Coleman is even now setting up his secret lair. He will soon return as “The Dingleberry”, a masked supervillain who’s evil power is the ability to cling on to anything with the strength of a thousand terrapins. He will stalk the streets of St. Paul, striking fear into the hearts of all with his diabolical cry: “I’ll see you in COURT, moohoohahahaha!”

  12. [re=351767]paintitblack[/re]: Oh youtube it please!! To see arterial spray hit his flatscreen and webcam would bring joy to my heart. 10,000 hillbillies in their pickup trucks would simultaneously run off the roads and ram their trucks into concrete overpass walls since the head of the conservatard snake would be severed.

  13. At last! Now I can start resenting the Democrats for failing to get anything done even though they have a fillibuster-proof majority!

  14. [re=351808]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: That’s not saying much. Coleman sets the bar for doucheyness, he looks like scientists tried to clone John Kerry but the DNA got mixed with a vat of feces.

  15. [re=351834]eclecticbrotha[/re]: “I wasn’t keen to change long-standing Senate procedure,” Reid was heard to say, “but I found myself in serious danger of not getting ass-fisted by Rush Linmaugh’s pool boy tonight, otherwise.”

  16. Ah, 60 votes. Now there’s nothing stopping us libtards. We shall:

    -Outlaw God. Screw it, I hated Jesus anyways.

    -Outlaw guns. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather a glock in the hands of a fourteen year old kid than a semi-automatic in the hands of someone who can’t spell muslim.

    -Become a communist state. Dah!

    -Appoint the gheys as our supreme overloards. DOMA? DADT? Oh we’re keepin’ em, for the straights.

    -Outlaw Country & Western music. Seriously, I’ve put up with enough of that crap for a lifetime. In fact, let’s outlaw Southern accents completely just to be safe.

    -Establish national “They Still Lost Day”. This day will commemorate forever that the South did in fact lose the civil war. I think it goes without saying what the fate of the Confederate flag will be.

  17. [re=351784]memzilla[/re]: Drudge is as irrelevant as the dog shit I just scraped off my shoe. Wait, actually, the dog shit is more relevant, at least in the olfactory sense.

  18. [re=351879]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: I already celebrate “They Still Lost Day” every April 9th. I drink Sam Adams ’till I’m stumbling drunk and wipe my ass with the Confederate flag. Then, if I’m in the mood, I might go practice a little miscegenation. It’s a great holiday for the whole family!

  19. [re=351879]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: You forgot mandatory abortions or in the words of the immortal Richard Nixon “There are times when an abortion is necessary. I know that. When you have a black and a white. Or a rape.”

  20. At least Norm Coleman still has his looks, lingerie model wife, and the BLO & GO™
    fortune to fall back on.

    Aww…fuck it! Fuck this “Minnesota nice” bullshit!

    What I just said would be true if Norm Coleman didn’t look like Eric Robert’s retarded twin brother, his wife lived within a 1,000 miles of him, and Billy Mays wasn’t hawking Clappers™ to Satan in hell.

  21. [re=351904]Native of SL UT[/re]: Dang it. I knew I was forgetting something. Actually, I think the abortions should be forced at gun point where the gun is being held by a fourteen year old gangster wearing a shirt that says “The South STILL lost” whilst chanting muslim prayers.

  22. [re=351863]El Pinche[/re]: I so WISH!! It sure makes for good visuals, don’t it?

    [re=351879]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: Day-um! Good call. Lets do it NOW!


    The Minnesota GOP’s statement (via the Minnesota Progressive Project):

    “Today’s ruling wrongly disenfranchised thousands of Minnesotans who deserve to have their votes counted. Alongside Senator Coleman, the Republican Party of Minnesota has fought to make sure every vote counts and all voters are treated fairly and uniformly. As we move forward, our deeply flawed election system must be dramatically improved to ensure our state’s elections are fair, accurate and reliable.”
    This is similar the statement Adolf Hitler gave following his treason conviction for the 1923 Beer Hall Putsch in Bavaria, or was it Saint Paul?

  24. I got my last haircut in 2009 the day after the Inauguration in January Senate Barbershop in the US Capitol.

    In the Barber Shop the walls are lined with Official Portraits of all current Sitting US Senators, except for the spot I was sitting at getting my haircut. That was where Senator Al Franken’s Official US Senate Picture was supposed to be, which was blank spot on the wall.

    I haven’t had a haircut since as my way of showing Solidarity with Senator Franken.

    Today We Are All US Senator Al Franken, (I’ve got the glasses to prove it), and his seating in the US Senate starts…


    Congratulations, Minnesota!


    Whew, my Plan B was to wait until the January 2013 Inauguration for my next haircut, and it’s real humid now in Munich where I’ve been looking like a damn hippie since I got here.

  25. [re=351927]S.Luggo[/re]: The Minnesota GOP will not be happy with any election results that aren’t counted by Ayatollah Khamenei.

  26. The Captains of the Left have prevailed, and the end of the Republican Party as we know it draws near! Mark how the bloated all-seeing eye of the Limburgh grows dim and fails! Rejoice!

  27. ManchuCandidate: Old Man: Only the Lizard People have won. They remain forever. They are like the land itself. You helped rid them of Coleman, the way a strong wind helps rid them of locusts. You’re like the wind – blowing over the land and… passing on.

    Nice, Manchu. Can’t go wrong quoting The Magnificent Seven.

  28. What’s the over/under on how many days the Dems can keep the number at 60? More important, is Ted Kennedy’s doctor disqualified from entering this pool?

  29. [re=351932]Dustin de Wynde[/re]:
    Make sure to send your hair to Al. I’m sure he’ll get Fran to knit a sweater out it.

    Beer, unless I hit a deer on the way home. Then both.

  30. A (nother?) Deadhead in the Senate! And this one even has some cred, not some Leahy hanger-on or Tipper-head. wow. kinda shocking.

    Plus…he knows Tom Davis, Sanford’s buddy, rite? heh.

  31. [re=351980]Hopey dont play that game[/re]: Lindsey Graham needs to spend more time monitoring his governor’s penis, and less time bothering those of us in the other 49 states.

  32. [re=351987]JGB[/re]: More people in the Senate that enjoy a good jam is definitely a good thing. Leahy wasn’t a hanger-on. I’ve read that he was a taper at some point. Tipper, on the other hand, was likely a Touch Head.

  33. I really didn’t think this was such a big deal, but then I’ve seen the video of the troops pulling out of the Minnesota cities today, and the Minnesota government getting a symbolic key to the city, recognizing that they are once again in charge of their own destiny. Truly, this is a victory for democracy.

  34. Truly a tragic day for the Reptile-American Rights movement.


  35. Hey, I know there is a certain taboo about blog-whoring, but a wingnut called Ken Layne a “vicious cocksucker” because he mouth-raped Trig Palin and it isn’t even my site, so I’m encouraging everyone to read Shorts’ post about it, as the whole thing is hilarious.

  36. [re=352003]Bearbloke[/re]: Behold the virgin Freepster try to use a sex metaphor (it felt like “a bag of sand!”:

    “Not A Minnesnowjob
    but rather
    A Minneblowjob – because in the end YOU get screwed.”

  37. [re=351825]Paul Tardy[/re]: Yes, I’m a bitch. We’ll just get that out of the way.

    But … “conscillation” when you meant “consolation”? Or was it “conciliation”? Are you Republican? That “oh, you knew what I *meant*!” thing just isn’t always true.

  38. The Senate will be no different with Norm Coleman out of it. He was an inconsequential accidental member who brought nothing to the table. I doubt Al Franken will bring that much more, other than name recognition. I mean, who’s going to take this guy seriously? Hillary was treated with a lot more fear/respect than Al Franken will be. I can’t imagine that he’s going to have a lot of heft on whatever committee assignment he gets (which probably won’t be a biggie). The numbers game is cool (60’s better than 51 and Sotomayor is a lock) but there are a few flighty members like Ben Nelson, et al, who won’t necessarily vote to break fillibuster (and the GOP ladies from Maine weaken most everything they get near). Yes, yes, I’m happy Coleman’s out and he might as well be replaced by Franken. But, finally, meh.

  39. [re=351784]memzilla[/re]: Well now he’s moved down the “Obama has evil eyes” article and Franken dressed as Stuart Smalley is the main headline. No siren.

  40. [re=352016]smellyal8r[/re]: well, Franken is a good speaker. And he can go on and on. really. He can talk, that man. whew. Ben Nelson may try to resist, but a jewish comedian with the gift of gab and a book full of anecdotes can plain wear you down.

  41. [re=352003]Bearbloke[/re]:

    You wouldn’t think there were so many ways to say “Waaah-Waaah-Waah”, but the Freeps always prove me wrong on that point.

  42. [re=352126]Unlearned Hand[/re]: Coleman was a Jew until he converted from the DFL to the Republican party when he became a Zionist instead. The election was held on a Jewsday in November. Coleman went to school with Chuck Jewmer back in Jew York.

    Gives me the Heb-ie Jeebies.

  43. Time to resurrect the old Republican loser joke:

    What’s the difference between a loser Republican and a puppy?

    Wait for it…….

    After six weeks the puppy stops whining.

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