• BUT… BUT SOMEONE IS BEING WRONG ON THE INTERNET! Look, OK, we’re trying to find the hot sexy stories here, but the Internet is only serving up annoyance, so our only option is to link you to this annoyance and hopefully ruin your weekend. Alas: long blog posts with multiple “clarifying” updates about ambiguous word choices in speech anecdotes from several days ago? These posts are intrinsically terrifying. Hurricane Katrina was a crisis for a long time, and Bobby Jindal talks funny. NEXT. [Ben Smith, TPM]
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    Man, this was the best news I’ve had all day. Please dig into a thick, chocolatey piece of schadenfreude pie as we watch the GOP continue to crash and burn.

    “I’m always open to everything, baby, absolutely.” – Lt. Gov. (Ret.) M. Steele, 2/24/09

  2. If Bobby Jindal is a habitual liar about his own stories then I strongly suspect the story he wrote about wanting to perform an exorcism on a lusty female is bullshit. I think exorcism means “I tried to have sex with her, but Mr Happy wasn’t able to perform thus it is all the Devil’s fault…”

  3. Ha — Bobby Jindal thinks things happened to him that he only heard over the phone two weeks later. In fact, Bobby Jindal is actually a nine-year-old boy in Bangalore reading historical fiction about the governor of Louisiana.

  4. [re=255103]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Calling Bobby Jindal a “chocolatey piece” is racist and sexist. You should apologize to Mayor Dean Grose immediately!

  5. Add this to the ‘well, it seemed like a good idea at the time’ category to even include this story in the rebuttal. Jesus, did he think no one would fact check his stories? His stupidity was even bringing this sheriff up to start with who was notoriously a little racist against the blacks. Leave the story out completely & people will just remember your lame-ass delivery. Now everyone thinks you’re not only lame but a liar to boot. Heckuva job, brownie!

  6. So Kenneth Piyush “Hussein” Jindal had to make up a story about how a brave Democratic Sheriff had to face down the corrupt Republican beuracracy that help destroy peoples’ lives after Katrina?

    No wonder Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity are the intellectual powerhouses of Conservatives.

  7. Piyush Jindal LIES? Well, stop the presses and hold the phone for re-write….

    OF COURSE he fuckin’ LIES!!1!1!

    What kind of self-respecting Republican would he be if he DIDN’T lie?

    In other news, sun rises in morning and sets at night….

  8. Yeah. That sooo reminds me of the time I tossed over that Jennifer Anniston chick so I could get married to Angelina Jolie. That was sweet.

    I’m pretty sure that was me, anyway.

  9. The only people critcizing Bobby are the people who still don’t believe there were W.M.D. in Iraq. So…pretty much everyone who is sane, sure, but still…

  10. I am just wondering which one of those furry costumes at CPAC is inhabited by Piyush. Of course, he has experience with this. He was the mascot at Brown.

  11. [re=255141]Hooray For Anything[/re]: The Huey Long bridge? I remember Ray Nagin telling people to get out, but not to take the Huey Long bridge. I always wondered why.

    At least they’re lying about Katrina instead of 9/11 now. CHANGE!

  12. Wait a minute…Piyush is brown and from New Orleans. How the hell did HE not get left behind to drown with the blacks and poors? Does he have magic underwear, too?

  13. During the Katrina dampness, I visited Sheriff-Commissar, Democrat Hari Lee Mao, a socialist and a good friend of Karl Marx, Leon Trotsky, Joseph Stalin, the Red Brigades and Sean Penn . When I walked into his makeshift office (the money for his “real” office having been funneled to some Illinois US junior senator) I’d never seen him so angry. He was yelling into the phone: ‘More free abortions, Food Stamps and child pornography, and damn Christianity! Don’t like it, Brownie, then you and the Swiss Guard can come and arrest me!’ I asked him: ‘Sheriff, why you so very very angry?’ He told me that he had put out a call for Big Government to come with its luxury boats and legions of social workers to rescue liberals trapped in their new Volvo station wagons and a few negroes, also. The boats were all lined up ready to go – when he learned that they had been diverted by Allen Greenspan to Antigua for the annual Phil Gramm free-market regatta. I told him, ‘Sheriff, that’s ridiculous. Big Government will only steal our freedoms.’ And before I knew it, he was yelling into the phone: ‘Congressman Jindal is here, and he says, fuck the poor. Government’s job isn’t to get people not to drown.’

  14. Could someone just let me know if Rash is flying in any of his Dominican trannies for tomorrow night’s festivities? If so I may cadge a ticket. That pompous fat bag of wind can really get down with the funky fudge if you know what I mean. Given appropriate doses of Viagra, Cialis, and ether. I don’t think Rash is going to be appearing in any more Slim Fast ads soon. He looks like he’s pounding down about one cream pie an hour. But what’s worse is his cocksure bloviating without the slightest hint of circumspection. And speaking of cocksure, let’s get back to those trannies again. What time does the plane land at Kennedy?

  15. Rush, it’s none of my business, but do you pitch or catch? I’m going with catch. By the way, I know you won’t accept any Dominican trannie’s word that they are truly male until you actually see their package. Is that why the whole deal is called C-Pack?

  16. So we never found out if he & the sherriff got arrested or not, & what they did with one another in jail. And the shrriff apparently died – why? America must know!

  17. Everytime I think of that speech, I think about how in Indian call centers they train you to use different fake accents to blend in with the accent of the caller.

    Bobby, I understand you had a decent education. Please use it – maybe you can help make dealing with the conservatives more interesting/thoughtful.

  18. [re=255316]assistant/atlas[/re]: Bobby was born in Baton Rouge, where most white [i.e. non-Cajun] people live.
    In Congress, he represented the 1st Congressional District of Louisiana (median income $40,000 plus), which is above Lake Pontchartrain and the negritude of New Orleans,
    He is also a fawning, NeoCon asshole.

  19. Sorry, Jindal. Jonathan Krohn is the official new vaguely ethnic rising star of the “conservative” movement. Your moment in the sun is gone forever now, Rush is leaving you for somebody younger.

  20. [re=255421]S.Luggo[/re]: Yeah, the least black CD in Louisiana, formerly represented by prostitute-enthusiast David Vitter.

    Sen. Vitter, by the way, may be challenged in next year’s primary by a failed Republican senate candidate from 2002, who got in trouble for referring to turbans as ‘diapers.’

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