Here’s Pat Buchanan’s famous sister, Bay Buchanan, speaking at CPAC earlier today. (BTW, we are just searching for YouTube videos of this thing every few minutes, so if anyone has any reports from on the ground then please pass them along, for hilarity.) Buchanan slams every Republican in Washington D.C. for, uh, not defending conservative values! Backing down! Umm she does realize that the Republicans have no power whatsoever to do anything, right? This conference is going to get so violent, soon. [YouTube]

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  1. Note Bay’s hand and head movements as she speaks. Somewhere a public speaking teacher is quietly weeping, and a Disney audioanimotronic imagineer is smiling. If only we could get her to talk about Bill Kristol and Alan Keyes.

  2. “they fold and they fold and they fold… that’s not leaders!!”
    No, they are not leaders, they are old laundrywomen. Republicans doing the President’s laundry… what was the problem with that again, Bay? HENGGHH?

  3. I was watching a live stream of it earlier today, and got as far as Michael Barone calling CNN the “Clinton News Network” and getting a nice round of applause like he had just made OMG THE FUNNIEST JOKE EVER and I turned it off before I killed myself.

  4. She did admit that if Obama is successful, the R’s will never regain power. That is why the R’s must work to destroy America from their position as “the loyal opposition.”

  5. And the audience applauds at the end?! What’s up with that? Do the conservatives in attendance at this conference pretend they didn’t support Reagan, Bush, and McCain?

  6. [re=253657]Serolf Divad[/re]:
    Actually, they remind me of my housemate who complains about being fat, not getting anywhere with the ladies because he is fat and feeling fat among his skinny friends and yet when I broach the idea of him, well, eating less, eating better and exercising more he then whines about how he has to sacrifice taste and eat rabbit food thus he keeps shoving more food down his maw. Not so shocking, he is a conservative.

  7. [re=253665]Dave J.[/re]:

    There’s a certain segment of the population for whom politics was is and ever shall be Reagan vs. Clinton. They’re kinda like that pathetic guy who never shuts up talking about how when he was quarterback his high school came “this close” to going to state. What’s more pathetic is that since that year his high school’s gone to state six times and won it twice. Even more pathetic is that the only NFL player to have graduated from his school only played two seasons for the Carolina Panthers before he was cut.

  8. [re=253685]freakishlystrong[/re]:

    You’re got to know how to interpret Republican code words. When Bay Buchannan says “we are the only people who can save America” what she really means is “we are the only people who can destroy America.”

  9. Angie-Marie “Bay” Buchanan still seems to be a tad upset over McCain’s loss, her being involved his campaign & all.
    [re=253670]Woodwards Friend[/re]: I have often wondered who sails into the Bay of Buchanan.

  10. [re=253657]Serolf Divad[/re]: I think it’s more like after freebasing the coke and burning down the house, they then deny they ever did it and go ranting and raving about the evils of freebasing coke and how all coke freebasers will go to hell. Naturally, they will do all of this while freebasing on coke.

    [re=253685]freakishlystrong[/re]: Last year, Bush gave a speech at CPAC to cheers and called Cheney “the best Vice President in History” and everybody cheered. But, of course, those people were other Republicans, not the Republicans who attended this year’s meeting. And it was Bay Bunchanan’s twin sister who said all those nice things about Bush, not Bay herself.

  11. Can I make a ray-shul statement here? Some of these conservative caucasians seem to be having a real hard time with not running everything like they used to. Like they simply cannot conceive of a world in which they don’t have all the jobs, make all the laws, get all the tee vee time and have nice WASP-y Easter egg hunts in the Rose Garden instead of the oil drum BBQ/Family Reunion that’s now scheduled for the first sunny weekend.

    I knew it was over for them when I heard Anderson “I’m Passing” Cooper ask Roland Martin if Republicans were 50 Cent to Obama’s Kanye West. In. All. Seriousness.

  12. I hate this woman with every fiber of my being. I am not going to click on the link, for fear that I will throw my computer out the window after she says three words. She is so stupid that it insults me that any news organization would think that I might find value in what she has to say.

    I hate her soooo much. Flames, on the side of my face, breathing… breath… heaving breaths. Heaving breath….

  13. Poor Bay…. she had enough money for the gender-reassignment surgery, but not enough for the post-op hormone regimen.

    [re=253657]Serolf Divad[/re]: OK, you’re freakin’ me out. You been reading my mail??? I am presently involved in PRECISELY such a case, in which a primo pair of numbnuts are suing the VOLUNTEER fire department for ridiculous money because the FD didn’t put their house fire out carefully enough. Among the claims – $90k for a quite putrid vinyl collection that MIGHT have a real world value – tops – of a few grand. Ditto for books, furniture, et al. If they succeed, they’ll be able to afford a brand spankin’ new HOUSE with just the inflated cash sums they’re claiming for the fuckin’ lost contents.

    Kurt Vonnegut would kill ’em. And I’d gladly help.

  14. As far as I can tell, this the new Republican strategy: “If we all start acting a lot fucking crazier than we ever have before, people will stop thinking we’re fucking crazy.”

  15. [re=253734]Canuckledragger[/re]:

    So you’re the asshole attorney who’s representing the dickweed firefighters who ruined my Barry Manilow collection!

  16. [re=253715]V572625694[/re]:
    Don’t bring that here. There’s people here!

    Re:Which one? Before, after, or during? I’m sorry if anyone lost their lunch or brunch. Soylent green is people!

  17. [re=253749]Serolf Divad[/re]: Who knew that Barry Manilow records are worth a c-note each? And that James Last and Roberto Delgado records are worth twice that much? And THAT’s just the 45s….

  18. [re=253708]ManchuCandidate[/re]:
    That’s a dude, right?

    Re: Yep, it’s Pat Buchanon’s twin brother before the “freshening” & the trans surgery.

  19. I love it that she doesn’t state which specific policies they were supposed to have opposed these last eight years. Well, Bay, was it the wars? The tax cuts for the wealthy? The deregulation? Feel free to fill us in.

  20. Let’s see, to summarize:
    WE went astray years ago,
    but only WE can make things

    Sorry Bay, I’ll take the
    takin’ that ass whippin’ no mo’.

  21. Weird, she has that same two handed karate-chop gesture her brother makes when he’s trying to prove that what he’s saying is not totally fucking insane.

  22. [re=253794]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]:

    If you pressed her hard enough she’d probably say that the failure was in not cutting taxes low enough to stimulate a supply-side explosion in government revenues… that and unspecified cuts in unspecified spending.

  23. [re=253806]Serolf Divad[/re]: I think it’s more that they didn’t stock up on enough human babies to feed Cheney while they were still in power. Now they have to feed him goats, and that displeases Dark Lord Cheney.

  24. Is she standing on some kind of oscillating platform?? Or are those her mad skillz of dance fever flipping her around like that? Woman needs to take a valium of something.

  25. I thought this woman died years ago. CPAC, seeking to dash boldly into the future, had to drag up her zombie corpse to address their convention about leadership? She ran her brother’s presidential campaign in 1834, based on those same tired ideas … and lost. At least she hasn’t molested any little boys.

  26. Admit it. You’ve never seen Bay and Pat together, have you? Bay is ugly enough to be Pat in a schmatta, you must admit. And the makeup is applied with hamfists, right? This must be how J. Edgar looked when entertaining gentlemen callers.

  27. [re=253694]Serolf Divad[/re]: You’re got to know how to interpret Republican code words. When Bay Buchannan says “we are the only people who can save America” what she really means is “we are the only people who can destroy America.”

    No. The word “whites” is implied. Like in the sentence, “Help!” where the word “you” is implied as the subject.

    What she is saying is “we WHITES are the only people who can save America from the godless half-breed muslin and his librul hordes.”

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