• THE ELECTION STARTS NOW: The GOP has confirmed that Lousiana child-governor Bobby Jindal will deliver the party’s response to Barack Obama’s fake “State of the Union” speech on February 24. Other finalists the GOP considered include Michael Steele, a vagina, and the Chinese guy who does John Boehner’s laundry. [AP]
Donate with CCDonate with CC


  1. And why shouldn’t Bobby Jindal deliver the party’s response to Barack Obama’s “State of the Union” speech? Bobby is still in that pre-teen phase of his life and thus much less likely to be a child molester and/or a closeted homosexual.

  2. I need to see his BRITH CERTFICATE not STATMENT OF LIFE BRITH he is a MUZLIN BOURNE IN KENYA, INDJA and his mom was only 17 when he was BOUNRE so he is INELDGBLE for USA PREZIDENCY

  3. [re=241389]Bruno[/re]: Dude, you gotta stop visiting the Confluence. You’re starting to sound like one of them, although I think they prefer FULL CAPS THROUGHOUT!

  4. Vagina? Silly GOP. All vaginas do (strictly in terms of GOP constituents, ladies [also, call me]) is terrify the women and bore the men, who are all gay or have secret pervert-furry rooms, or both, and hate gays, vagina touching, and getting caught with tentacle porn. I think republican females get bored with them too, though, fuck- take a look at Gobi-Desert-Malkin. They’re definitely terrified at other people’s vaginas. Maybe. Hmmm…

    Shit. It seemed less complicated when I started writing.

    Maybe Jindal should wear a vagina flag pin, just in case.

  5. I wonder if this will reach the soaring heights of the last occasion when they tried to fight brown with brown–remember the green background on that stage in some shithole Louisana country club, Walnuts going full HENGGGHH?, and B.J. looking like he was there to bus the tables? I hope so.

  6. So… the poster boy for the Republicans is a guy with no neck who named himself after Bobby Brady, advocates intelligent design, and earned his job by having FEMA kill all the poor people?

    Please run against Obama. Pretty, pretty please.

  7. Maybe Jindal can be like the possessed girl in the Exorcist.

    I’m hoping that his head will spin 360 degrees while screaming:
    “Tax Cuts! Teh Gayz! Tax Cuts! Reagan! Ssssssssszzzt!”

  8. The timing of this is worrisome, as it is on Fat Tuesday. Perhaps they plan to declare that, for the good of the country, Louisiana will be expunged from the Union and Jindal is giving the United States permanent rights to our offshore fossil fuels in exchange for the Kingship. When he is coroneted we will all be too drunk to realize this isn’t just part of the Crew of Rex parade. This is because of David Vitter, isn’t it? Oh, well, I’m sure life will be fine in the third-world dictatorship of Louisianastan. We’re used to eating bugs, anyway.

  9. Why not Sarah Palin? Isn’t she the future of the party? Oh, that’s right. The GOP has stopped exploiting idiotic women and is now exploiting idiot men of color.

  10. Judging from what I’ve heard from my Indian pals about their own families, I’m betting that Jindal’s candidacy will be destroyed by his mother, who will show up at every rally and stand at the front of the stage, weeping and wailing about little Piyush turning his back on Hinduism.

  11. The thing about this is that the Republican’ts don’t understand their own crazy wingnut base.

    They think that they will love Bobby Jindal because he’s Jesus’s BFF and he hates the poors.

    What they don’t understand is that the crazy wingnut base, outside of Louisiana and Illinois that is, hates the Catholics because they worship the Death Cookie. For srs.

    And they also hate the Hindus because they go around killing Christians (in real human speak, some violent asshats use Hindu extremism as an excuse to kill their lower-caste neighbors who converted to Christianity mostly for the missionaries’ hot lunches, but in crazy wingnut Christianist world, it’s a SCARY WORLDWIDE HINDU JIHAD).

    So Bobby Jindal, a Hindu turned Catholic, is certainly a loony God-botherer, but he’s the wrong kind of loony God-botherer and the Republican’ts don’t even know the difference.

    Don’t tell them.

  12. “Other finalists the GOP considered include Michael Steele, a vagina, and the Chinese guy who does John Boehner’s laundry.”

    I’d go with the vagina. But then, I always do.

    Way prettier than Michael “Lexington” Steele and doesn’t leave starch all over you. [Most times.]

  13. [re=241548]IceCreamEmpress[/re]: The hilarious and rich and terrible thing will be when their own anger about affirmative action leads them to start suspecting the competence of their own leaders…

  14. In case Bobby Jindal doesn’t know, as a child Michelle Obama memorized all the lines to all the episodes of the Brady Bunch. I wonder what secrets Obama knows about Jindal.

  15. The Futile Pandering award for leadership goes to … the GOP!

    Sarah Palin is now rumored to be exploring radical pigment-augmentation treatments as she gets ready for her 2012 POTUS bid … hey, peeps, I can see the Russkies’ hood from my house! Alaska is teh shnizzit, yo! You betcha!

Comments are closed.

Previous articleOH SWEET JESUS YES: National Review Chronicles ‘The Best Conservative Movies of the Last 25 Years’
Next articleStimulus Bill Dismantled, Rebuilt Into Terrifying Cyborg