It was only a matter of time before the The New Republic stopped being an inevitability in this little feature. Well, the time has come—just one week in! Let’s take a look what worthwhile things are afoot in these storied pages this week, for our new feature, Thursdays Are For Magazines.

“The Right Man”: Famous neocon David Frum threw a fancy cocktail party! Literally two sentences in, we find out he was playing Norah Jones, something we suspected from sentence one. Frum talks about his new website,, it will save c/Conservatism forever by publishing stories about how Sarah Palin dropped off all of her snow-stained fancy harlot clothes in Hefty bags. [TNR]

“Viva Chai”: Hey DC is so cool, with poetry readings and “lattes.” It’s totally like New York or whatever except Barry is here, so everything is so different now. Hipsters — that’s young people partial to the counter-culture, for you old people out there — sit on couches with their Howard Zinn and just talk about shit, but it’s so chill right? Right. Busboys and Poets is the epicenter of the new millennium, because they serve these things, these “lattes.” [TNR]

“Spare the Rod”: A hilarious “defense” of guess who, the premise of which is literally, well, he’s not any worse than failed vagrant-hobbit Norm Coleman, who recently was beat out for Senator of Minnesota by Chevy Chase. Coleman, like Blaggy, received illegal monies too, except the former convinced a fake marine biologist to pay Coleman’s wife, a sex robot. All Blaggy did was famously use foul language, on tape. [TNR]

“Washington Diarist”: Lothario-in-cowboy-boots Leon Wieseltier, who is TNR‘s literary editor, is quite displeased, but also heartened!, by these emails that Barry keeps sending him. You know the ones. Mr. Wieseltier thinks they have “alacrity”! But all this hippie togetherness — Obama addresses Mr. Wieseltier as “friend” — actually makes our hero feel quite sad you see. Bonus thing: A sentence actually starts with “Btw.”

“Border War”
: The most exciting celebrity feud since Palin/Judd: it’s Larry Summers vs. Tim Geithner. Geithner used to be Summers’ protege. And Geithner is such the shrinking violet, whereas everyone used to think Summers was sort of elbowing his way into the spotlight, in fact it was Geithner elbowing himself, all the time. [TNR]

[The New Republic]

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  1. That New Republic cover lacks something that also conveys the spirit of the Repug party…

    I know!

    An older male elephant pegging a smaller younger male elephant while high on meth. Conveys the true spirit of the GOP.

  2. The only Republican website I ever even dared to read, Culture11, has been shuttered. I guess it’s back to “shooting ping pong balls” as a declaration of national policy initiatives? Who knows. Politics is SO CONFUSING.

  3. Yeah, there is nothing on earth more pathetic than 60-something quasi-liberal academic types trying to be down with the latest tunes and such. Their mag was briefly interesting in the Reagan-Bush years, before the discovery of Crack Snark, which pushed aside gentle irony from all the best streetcorners. I remember the constant gunfire at night in my neighborhood! Good times!

  4. [Frum] considered Palin a threat to national security as well as a troubling sign of the right’s continued preference for fire-breathing hacks. “Here’s a candidate who embodies and epitomizes not just conservative values but a conservative style,” he told me. “At the same time, she’s a person who inspires very little confidence in her ability to run a modern government.
    If this isn’t a concise embodiment of why conservativism is rotting from the inside out, I don’t know what is.

  5. Articles (“Viva Chai”) I couldn’t get past the first four words of:

    “Throughout history, political movements…”

    The only way this article would be readable would be if its author, Eve Fairbanks (which sounds like a porn star) were hot. Google Image Search is mute on this topic. Therefore: FAIL.

  6. Has anyone else pointed out yet that TNR and every other conservative rag operate at a loss? The market has spoken folks .

    Also I think I’m posting more comments now because of those god damn teeth whitening ads. MAKE THEM GO AWAY. I’ll resort to adblock if need be but I’ve avoided it here because I enjoy political humor about butts.

  7. [re=237338]V572625694[/re]: They are obviously still recruiting Mart Peretz’s grad students to write turgid shit like this. It’s why I cancelled my subscription, oh, 15 years ago.

  8. Marty Peretz’s grad students

    Peretz doesn’t seem to be teaching at Harvard anymore. Interestingly (not interestingly) that fact isn’t reflected in the TNR masthead.

    My husband is actually out to dinner with the chairman of the Social Studies department right now, so I could have gotten the inside scoop on this if I had bothered to read this post earlier.

  9. [re=237326]SayItWithWookies[/re]: The Frum article was actually moderately interesting, mainly because it highlighted what a colossal douchebag Ramesh Ponnuru is.

  10. Hmm, yeah, reinvention or not, TNR has been pretty much irrelevant since, oh, Stephen Glass. And have you ever read their music criticism? Anything after 1978 and they’re like McCain trying to talk about the Internet.

  11. I read that rag religiously and with some sense of false pride but M Peretz finally drove me out … could not stand for his shit… I never looked back.

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