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Ugh, lipstick is gross.Vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin visited some tragic retirement community in Florida on Sunday to receive the ceremonial Giant Pink Dildo of Fate. It is considered “safe” because it does not contain melamine. Thanks to Mark for bringing this throbbing 4-foot penis to our attention. UPDATE:

Big Ass Belle points out that Ms. Palin received this giant sex toy at The Villages, which made national headlines a few years ago when STDs swept through the retirement community and all these sad elderly people were walking around with genital warts. The outbreak was blamed, of course, on a lack of sexual education.
[AP]

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79 COMMENTS

  1. In case you’re wondering: that lipstick container not a prop. They actually sell them that size in Florida since Katherine Harris kicked off the “French whore with a southern accent” fad in 2000.

  2. [re=103074]SuperRounder[/re]: Something that large can only run on it’s own nukular power plant. Or the pure, unadulterated anger that the Walnuts campaign uses to feed thier lust of the dark arts.

  3. The caption says she’s autographing it, not that it’s being presented to her, which is somehow weirder. Where do you buy this thing? What are you doing with it after you get it signed?

  4. Still, Palin had star power. One teenage girl held up a sign that read, “When I grow up, I want to be Sarah Palin.” Another sign read, “This chick supports Sarah Palin.” Many said they didn’t even know who Palin was until last month.

    I fucking hate all of you.

  5. Lipstick on a prig.

    That said, I’m off to London. If I hear any bad news, politically or economically, while I’m there, I’m gonna buy a title and stay. Buggers.

  6. “We need serious reform on Wall Street. We need better regulation.” Omigod! A giant lipstick for me to sign? How cute! Where did you get it? Of course I’ll sign it!

  7. [re=103089]illnoise[/re]: She’s ‘hot’ in a bland, no discernable features sort of way. Execpt for those glasses. She really works the ‘naughty librarian’ look (thank you Stephen Colbert). I also think that the fact that she has streaks, or ‘highlights’ in her hair should keep her out of public office. Not that I don’t have ‘highlights’. I just call it ‘grey’.

  8. [re=103089]illnoise[/re]: I thought she was hawt until she started talking. Right-wing policies seem to take the starch out of my noodle, if you catch me.

    [re=103086]facehead[/re]: WIN.

  9. I love how the two people they interviewed are a know-nothing, swamp-trash 19 year old with a MILF fetish, and a some demented, sun-stroked corpse of a woman who would vote for any vagina on the ballot. I’ll bet she feels right at home.

  10. [re=103091]tunamelt[/re]: Why does that dopey chick want ti wait till she grows up to be Sarah Palin? Is her He-man-Jesus-lovers-woman-haters button broken now?

  11. Obviously, the lipstick is what she would use to sign the blank check for the bailout. It’s one of those humorous giant game show checks!

    I hear she draws a little heart over the i in her name.

  12. [re=103113]Cogito Ergo Bibo[/re]: Yes, but the autographed lipstick owner will tell everyone how they “put it on eBay”, because you know, it makes such a great story !! eBay’s funny that way, it can make or break people..

  13. [re=103070]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:
    The newest models all come with fuel injection and electronic ignition. You don’t want to have to rebuild the carburetor on a 1970s-era Dick-o-matic 3000. Been there, done that. Lots of work and the resale value blows!

  14. Oh ha ha ha ha ha!!!

    It’s no wonder they offered her a giant pink dildo, it’s The Villages, where they had the highest rate of venereal disease infection in the country.

    Let me repeat that: In the country. Highest rate of STDs. Retirement community.

    This is a retirement community that is perfect for Sarah Palin and McSame. It broadcasts Rethug propaganda all day long by way of the Village radio station.

    It’s a fake city with a fake town square. It’s built to look like a Disney town and it’s fake top to bottom. No wonder they love this team.

  15. I wish she would have told a joke in which the punchline was “pubic hair”. It would be great to see a bunch of cottonheads with little ziplock baggies of shaved pubes to sign.
    Wait, nevermind. That’s fucking disgusting.

  16. [re=103141]Big Ass Belle[/re]: This post is now just about perfect. *runs away and cries, knowing these people are going to be the reason we’re living out of bomb shelters in 6 years*

  17. [re=103090]tunamelt[/re]: Not sure where you’d buy one, but if the waiting list for her glasses is two months then I wonder how long it is for an oversized Palenis.

  18. I hope the secret service searched that thing for explosives, listening and mind control devices. Oh no, I hope the terrirsticals didn’t hear that. I’d hate for something to happen to our savior in waiting. If she isn’t able to summon the rapture, I don’t know who will be able to start nuklar war with all the bad guys, like the Spaniards.

  19. [re=103151]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]:

    Ziplock baggies of shaved pubes sold on eBay = $4.66
    Ziplock baggies of “Grey” shaved pubes sold on eBay = $34.66
    Today’s value of your stock portfolio = Priceless (a.k.a., worthless)

  20. My dad lives there and just today registered to vote and is sickened that “that whore Palin”..as he put it managed to rally 60k people. I don’t think he or his wife have genital warts but I do know that they are 2 more votes for Obama in Florida.

  21. Tragic ending to the story, though: after the rally to support senior citizen STDs, Syrah Plain was joined by Governor Juan McNuts from Arizona Ice Tea and they paraded themselves around the old folks village. Syrah carried the big phallus in her mouth (McNuts refused to touch it, citing his votes against Martin Luther King, Jr. and bank regulation) and when wacky Uncle Walnuts! abruptly stopped in his tracks, Syrah bumped right into his big ass and the lipstick dildo disappeared!!

    Gov. McNuts was rushed to the substandard nurse’s clinic in nearby Villages, Florida for emergency removal of said pink phalanx.

    http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2380/2179420337_d5007654d9.jpg

  22. [re=103141]Big Ass Belle[/re]: Oh, please, give the source! My grandma will just die laffin’! Her neighbors at The Villages all being holier than thou holy rollers, and Granny being a former suffragette, flapper, etc. She’s 95 and still going strong…and mouthy.

  23. What shade is that giant lipstick, anyway?

    Piggy Piggy Pink?
    Gender Traitor Tulip?
    2 Whore Diamond Distraction?
    Frilly SnowBilly Frost?
    Unqualified Quince?
    Thanks But No Thanks Thistle?
    Worshington Cherry Blossom?
    Pitbull Peach?
    Fucktard Fuchsia?

    I really need to know so I can wear the right shade with the square dork glasses I just ordered from PalinClone, INC.™

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