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If you have ever woken up early, not had your average 8 cups of coffee per hour, drank six beers before 11 a.m. (plus a shot!), stood mercilessly in the summer heat of Washington D.C., gone and had several more beers, and then come home, YOU WOULD HAVE THE WORST HEADACHE IN AMERICAN HISTORY, which is what your Wonkette editor currently has after Paultardpalooza 2k8. Here’s a teaser from Wonkette operative “Melanie,” a D.C. slave intern, but not a member of the venerable “house of six interns” that DID NOT SHOW today. More photos later today, tomorrow and the next day, if this goddamn throbbing sensation in my skull ever disappears. Thanks to the 15-20 amazing humans who showed up early this morning to drink alcohol for free.

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  • the chavi

    Awww, we love you too, Jim! Thanks for the booze!

  • Q2

    Who fucked whom? We need a scorecard.

  • NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    And thank YOU Jim!

    Note to other readers: The mulatto woman in traditional colonial garb to the right was the most ethnic person at Paultardpalooza, excepting a small (I think we counted two) smattering of press persons.

  • Another DC Lawyer (Again)

    This photo rocks. It’s like Betsy Ross in her prom dress meets Vern Troyer as Napoleon and they go on a date to see Ponch at his new job at the “Ye Olde Renaissance Fayre.” Jeebus, isn’t this some form of child abuse?

    Also, did anyone happend to get a photo of they guys in the homemade “armor” and swords. Said armor and sword made from Ron Paul lawn signs? I wish I were making this up.

  • FunkyPalmettoBug

    Marie Antoinette has some serious buck teeth.

  • NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    [re=34766]Another DC Lawyer (Again)[/re]: God I hope so! I recall someone saying they did, but that could be wishful thinking.

  • Jim Newell

    [re=34769]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: yes we have it.

  • Prodigalson1982

    The little girl in the picture looks like she wants to commit suicide. The child looks like Napoleon. Thank you Palutard Nation for producing the future issues of Wonkette and countless of truck nutz jokes.

  • NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    [re=34770]Jim Newell[/re]: Fantastic! The Knights of Paultardia shall be known to all of Wonkette. All shall love them and despair.

  • DieOnTheTurnpike

    Good God! Is Williamsburg creating a low-budget franchise operation?

  • Brutus Harlot

    That’s about the same level of fashion I encountered this morning at David’s Bridal.

  • trai_dep

    The seated girl is praying that the tots dreamy Tommy that sits one up and to the right of her in Algebra isn’t a Wonkette frequenter.
    (Tri-cornered, beribboned, felt) hats off to all those who made this possible!

  • Brutus Harlot

    [re=34771]Prodigalson1982[/re]: She is contemplating what would punish her parents more. Running away to work for Obama or McCain. Poor thing will probably end up fundraising for Hillary.

  • wallythepug

    Who knew that eighteenth century folks had such stylin’ sunglasses?

  • Gregory_of_Nazianzus

    [re=34770]Jim Newell[/re]: We demand pictures now.

  • TJBeck

    whew, ok, I’m just waking up from Friday night. When does this thing start?

  • schvitzatura

    [re=34774]DieOnTheTurnpike[/re]: Charlie “I need a faghag for VPOTUS” Crist’s beard’s novelty company is raking it in from the ‘tards Reloveushunary zeal.

    Big time.

  • trai_dep

    The boy’s stance betrays that he’s imagining he’s a buccaneer about to mount his mulatto slave for some randy ass-banditry. He’s young, so I’ll cut him some slack for being in the wrong era and getting the positions reversed.
    Everyone pictures himself as the captain yet most end up as the limping, haggard cabin boy.

  • schvitzatura

    [re=34785]trai_dep[/re]: limping, haggard, buggered drummer boy/powder monkey/cabin boy…

  • Edsdesk

    I am so glad I stayed here and drank toasts to you all and Tony too! I have really nice AC !!

  • NotNotLickingToads

    Thank you all for restoring my faith in DC, and, to a lesser extent, humanity.

  • The Incomparable Tiny Valdez

    Is that a cellphone or digital camera that Betsy Ross is clutching?

  • RaptorAvatar

    I can’t believe I fucking missed this. However, I am about to get hammered on cisco and make a cartoon about McCain and Clingy The Religious Gun. So I’m pourin this one for my homies smokin’ blunts in the hall as well as my Homies fuckin with da Ron Paul.

  • The Incomparable Tiny Valdez

    Is it true Phil Gramm said we’ve become a nation of winos?

  • 1ofUS

    To be sure, that’s a Wastec Badr Waddle between that turkey’s legs. Garbage imported from faraway Iraq and dressed up to taste lake a seemingly useless flap of flesh dangling from that bird’s panties.

  • American Spectator

    Hey! Where the heck did y’all go? I was taking pictures of Paultards one minute, and then before I knew it I was on stage singing Paul’s praises. Don’t let me drink that early again.

  • Guppy06

    I think the lesson we should all take from this photo is that the Paultards are breeding. The girl may be adequately sullen for being dragged along, and it’s hard to tell if the boy is laughing or crying, but just the idea of Paultards having sex and producing offspring is unsettling enough.

  • Darehead

    Ironic horrors! Ironic horrors! Of Paultards trying to demonstrate democratically when Ron Paul hates democracy!

    Real dumb Paul-quotes about democracy:


    “The emphasis on democracy in our modern political discourse has no historical or Constitutional basis. Yet we have become obsessed with democracy, as though any government action would be permissible if a majority of voters simply approved of it.”
    “Our country is not a democracy. Our nation was founded as a Constitutionally limited republic, as any grammar school child knew just a few decades ago.”
    “Our Founders instituted a republican system to protect individual rights and property rights from tyranny, regardless of whether the tyrant was a king, a monarchy, a congress, or an unelected mob.”

  • Borat

    whenever I start drinking at 9:00, I start seeing people dressed in colonial drag too

  • EcceNerdo

    I’m just waking up from the 10 or so beers via Wonkette. Once I figure out how to get the pictures off my phone, I’ll be sending them in.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    JIM NEWELL PAID FOR THE DRINKS???? FUCK!!!!!!!1!

  • Canuckledragger

    [re=34771]Prodigalson1982[/re]: “The little girl in the picture looks like she wants to commit suicide.”

    When will you people stop raggin’ on Rick Santorum’s poor, defenseless daughter?!?!

  • Paultardville

    I see children in that photo. Nobody told us they could procreate.

  • DoctorCulturae

    [re=34807]Guppy06[/re]: The Paultards are coming! The Paultards are coming!

  • American Spectator

    Jim not only paid for the beers, but when I went back to the Tune Inn afterward, he had generously arranged for whores as well – three at the bar, all over 62 1/2, and drawing off the tap and their 401ks.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    Message to the kids in the above picture.
    Kids, If those are your parents run away and join any carnival you can find. You’ll be better off.

  • WonkaBee

    [re=34798]1ofUS[/re]: It looks like bottled hot water to me.

  • Crow T. Robot

    [re=34798]1ofUS[/re]: Wait…what?

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=34817]American Spectator[/re]: I hope it wasn’t a union whore house. Seniority-first isn’t always the best thing.

  • CometHasTheFloor

    [re=34808]Darehead[/re]: Yes indeedy, our government will react to this democratic action exactly as Doctor Paulnuts! advocates, i.e. by totally ignoring it.

  • Canuckledragger

    How many Paultards showed up? Here was the prediction from one of the afflicted on the RPForums:

    “I think these people are in for a bit of a shock when there are 25,000+ pro-Constitution Ron Paul supporters marching on July 12th and their little Wonktardish get-together brings in about eighteen people.”

    Just shy of 25k were there?

    Well, here’s what one reported after the event:

    “It was great!!!! A huge turnout. Beautiful! A small city of Patriots shouting for freedom in the Capital. Some great speakers also – culminating with the Good Doctor himself.

    I heard 8,000 also. That sounds about right.”

    Just shy of 8k were there?

    Give us the scoop on the numbers present, dammit!

    BTW: another P-tard offered the following observation about us lowly Wonketteers:

    “Their style of snarky cynicism, while it can be amusing, is self-destructive. It slowly rots them out. They create a self-image based on the denial of value in anything but the implication they can’t escape is that they also must have no value. What remains is cold, empty and alienated. And the sight of someone who believes in something of value infuriates them because it reminds them of what they have lost.

    Have compassion. There might be part of them that is looking for an excuse to join us.”

    “Cold, empty and alienated.”

    Damn! That’s just about right, innit?

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=34823]Canuckledragger[/re]: I love how they consider attendance a competition with Wonkette. I can’t think of anything we would march for… except if they tried to take our Truck NUTZ.

    I would march for four more years.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    I have to say that they ALMOST had us pegged. But they forgot “drunk”.

  • regisgoat

    My family does the Renaissance Faire thing, so I can’t really point fingers.

  • Darehead

    [re=34823]Canuckledragger[/re]: Ha! Hardly 25K or even the anticipated Million ‘Tard march that was expected when the march idea came up last winter, eh.

    [re=34822]CometHasTheFloor[/re]: There you are! Welcome back!! Yup indeedy, but in Paulocracy you get noticed when you can show your guns.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=34825]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I imagine that they are merely excited that anyone pays any attention to them, because we probably give them more thought and words than… anyone else in the entire fucking world.

  • Canuckledragger

    [re=34825]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: For reals. I think they figger if “we” are there, it’s as some kinda counter-demo, which only puffs up their already surreally grotesque level of self-importance.

    In truth, of course, it was simply a small party of Wonkette observers gathered to laugh at a parade of head injury cases. No farm, no howl. Shit, I mean, no harm, no foul.

    Fuckin’ lysdexia always starts acting up after I pop the cork of that second bottle of elitist wine. [And fuck Phil Gramm, he can’t have my whine. But I’ll share some with Lou Gramm if he promises to sing only Black Sheep songs, no Foreigner allowed aloud. Or something. I don’t even know anymore… *hic!*]

  • TGY

    I’m glad you returned with your spleens instead of on them!

    “Forth go the fearless Trojan Wonkettes!
    Fully equipped with..Trojans, one hopes..
    Yadda-yadda..
    We are the chorus and we agree, we agree..”

  • bitchincamaro

    I have one burning question: where did all you Wonk Lushes pee after all that drinking?

  • WonkaBee

    I suppose Ron Paul was there to give a speech? How about Bob Barr? (the little elephant)

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=34830]Canuckledragger[/re]: Damn. You close it like a professional.

    Truly. You make my comments feel even stupider than tehh allready r.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=34829]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: One place lacking Paultard attendance? One might ask. And the answer of course is “job.”

  • TGY

    [re=34833]bitchincamaro[/re]: It ain’t called the ‘Reflecting Pool’ for nothin’, one presumes.

  • TGY

    Also, if Hunter S. Thompson were to wear colonial garb, he’d look like the guy in the left of the pic. Only some sort of firearm and a doobie would be in order.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    [re=34833]bitchincamaro[/re]:
    Burning and peeing should never be in the same sentence.

  • Darehead

    [re=34834]WonkaBee[/re]: Ron likes Pastor Chucky Baldwin, who was at the rally, preachin’ away his idears of limited constitutional gummit and unlimited churchiness. Dem 2 boyz gettin’ chummier n’ chummier all the time.

  • Another DC Lawyer (Again)

    [re=34833]bitchincamaro[/re]: The Tune Inn has a remarkably clean bathroom given what you would expect from the rest of the decor. No joke.

    [re=34823]Canuckledragger[/re]: Even 8,000 is a total joke. I’m guessing maybe 1,500. Maybe. Though the police did have their helicopters out, which had the unintended hysterical effect of causing the 9/11 Truthers to go into complete fits…it was awesome. I just can’t believe I forgot my tin-foil hat.

  • Doglessliberal

    well, while we were dripping with sweat and breaking our backs moving furniture today in central VA, we were thinking of you good people, willing to face the Paultards in our stead. We sincerely wished we could have been there, and of course, once back here in NoVa, I rushed to check out the updates. Huzzah, brave Wonketteers, capable of anything, drunken and drugged, let the cry of BIG SALE ON TRUCK NUTZ echo in the ears of hapless Paultards for eternity!

    And picking up the tab is incredibly nice, Layne and Newell. Wow!

  • SkimLatteLiberal

    Oh my goodness gracious. Please tell me this is accurate:
    http://www.ronpaulforums.com/showthread.php?t=146419

    However, I think CFL made a mistake by allowing a few of the speakers to say some really fringe things… both in the area of 9/11 truth and Christian activism.

    The big thing was the 9/11 truth stuff. Jack McLamb was especially nutty, and told everyone that the government had instituted a program wherein they marked your mailbox with a red, blue, or pink sticker, and when “foreign troops invade”, the stickers will tell them who to kill, who to leave alone, and who to take to the concentration camps now being built by Halliburton. He also blatantly stated that the government blew up the buildings on 9/11. He also played the Christianity card VERY hard.

    I’m not trying to issue a verdict on 9/11 truth – I’ve never studied it, and I don’t discount it. But rallies like that are NOT the place for radical statements, and I am disappointed that CFL allowed some of the things to be said that they did.

    Things like that allow the media, and morons like the Wonkette writers, to continue to marginalize and write off Ron Paul supporters as wackos. They’ll completely ignore the 90% that’s great and focus on the 10% that’s fringe.

  • Paultardville

    [re=34823]Canuckledragger[/re]: This gem from the forums:

    Please be wary of people who may instigate and agitate and try to get you to do something violent while pretending to be one of you. They plan to be drunk and on drugs. We always knew they were crazy but now we know they are addicts and derelicts so please be careful. … And they are capable of doing anything.

    Apparently we are “those people” your mommy and daddy warned you about. I feel so badass even though I was 1000 miles away today.

  • Edsdesk

    Hey! ‘tards are a dime a dozen, but Wonkette is ‘looking for a few good wonks’…’the few, the loud, the totally shitfaced’

  • brownpau

    [re=34846]SkimLatteLiberal[/re]: Yeah, I passed by the rally en route to the Smithsonian just as McLamb was talking, and got some video – http://www.flickr.com/photos/brownpau/2661499881/

    Note the volume of cheers he got as opposed to boos.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    “NH4RonPaul NH4RonPaul is offline
    Senior Member

    It’s now well after 1 p.m. and we haven’t heard anything from editor Jim Newell, so we have to assume he’s either in jail or rigorously pursuing his vow to “fuck 50 paultards” in the woods somewhere, or maybe in the reflecting pool.

    God these people are sickos.”

    You sick fucks. Sex is sooo GROSS.

  • accidental_tourist

    Pretty amazing when you realize that even after Ron Paul dropped out, he consistently (as in almost every weekend) draws ten times more supporters than Walnuts can muster up on a good day. Does anyone here have knowledge of Walnuts ever drawing more than 75 people to any of his speaking events, at any time, any where? Didn’t think so.

  • TheSkeptic

    Ridiculous. Why are they even having this rally? Our current administration is obviously doing a very good job. I wish people would just go back to watching American Idol or something.

  • Canuckledragger

    [re=34840]TGY[/re]: I think that’s Wallace Shawn.

  • TheSkeptic

    @SkimLatteLiberal – As the author of that post on RPF, note that I believe Jack McLamb to be ‘nutty’.

    Regardless of what you read here, all Ron Paul supporters are not crazy. I don’t subscribe to this ridiculous idea that this is or was ever supposed to be a “Christian” nation. I’m just your average, atheistic, small business owner trying to make ends meet and supporting a candidate whose policies I feel would restore some sanity to the government.

    There are some serious kooks in the movement, because they see it as a vehicle. There are also some seriously intelligent, rational people who have nothing to do with Christian activism, the 9/11 Truth Movement, or some of these other fringes (and, I would argue, these types are greater in proportion).

    I think the fact that today you had a 22 year veteran of the CIA and a ground level fighter in the REAL war on terror (not this bullshit Playtime Adventure in Iraq) advocating Ron Paul’s approach to foreign policy, while simultaneously discounting Obama’s, is telling.

    We won’t even get into Ron Paul’s popularity with the wackos on Wall Street.

  • Mahousu

    [re=34846]SkimLatteLiberal[/re]: I am disappointed that CFL allowed some of the things to be said that they did.

    Well, I am disappointed that the CFL ever let Doug Flutie go. They’ve never been the same since.

  • Packherd

    My freedom headache is just starting to clear up.

  • Paultardville

    [re=34856]TheSkeptic[/re]: Hey, wanna fuck? We can split the $5 “reward.”

    Oh, and are you a girl? Should’ve asked that first I guess. Although five bucks is five bucks … I guess I could channel my inner GOP congressman if you’re a dude.

  • TheSkeptic

    @Paultardville –

    I thought progressives weren’t supposed to be homophobic?

  • Darehead

    Could also be that the 911 Troofers and Bible Bangers hide their stuff cuz they know that stuff ain’t as presentable. No matter: just the NAU-phobia is plenty whacko enuf, and that gets airtime from most of ’em.

    The Iranian Revolution also started out as a broad-based anti-US imperialism movement with lots of normal people. Then the Ayotollah’s religious conservatives took over.

  • Paultardville

    [re=34860]TheSkeptic[/re]: Wait, are you drunk or am I?

  • TheSkeptic

    @Darehead

    No worries – before long we’ll be at war with Iran and kill them all. The only cost will be the further collapse of the dollar, $10/gal gas, thousands of American lives, and an absolute shitload of debt.

    Ron Paul is one of the only people working to stop it, btw. Obama has already bowed down to the neocon agenda to take over the world and fighting a phony war on terror. I’ll leave his bitching out on the FISA travesty for some other time.

    @Paultardville

    You are probably drunk. I would probably like to be.

  • FunkyPalmettoBug

    [re=34846]SkimLatteLiberal[/re]: A spade is a spade.

    [re=34851]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Thats a public service. You can’t find dates on WoW.

  • TheSkeptic

    @Darehead

    Don’t mean to be all New World Orderish, but if you think that there are not very powerful parties who want to see a “unified” North America with open borders, you are a bit naive.

  • SkimLatteLiberal

    [re=34856]TheSkeptic[/re]: Wow, a real live Paultard!

    To be fair, there’s a reason I quoted your post. Mostly, it surprised me that the RPF mods hadn’t nuked the post already. An objective, critical take on something Ron Paul related? I’m still surprised you weren’t a secret Wonkette operative.

    I emphasize with the “fringe” group argument, but then again, if Ron Paul’s people wanted to silence the racists/xenophobes/truthers/bible-thumpers they could have. They haven’t, so you’ll keep seeing posts about them. Also we tend to think Ron Paul’s own policies are just as insane. Ain’t no choir to preach to here unfortch.

  • TheMacWonk

    They look exactly the way I would expect.

  • SkimLatteLiberal

    [re=34857]Mahousu[/re]: The NFL will be invading and destroying our precious CFL anyway. Fucking mexicans.

  • TheSkeptic

    “Mostly, it surprised me that the RPF mods hadn’t nuked the post already.”

    I’ve never seen this moderate like this. They will remove posts that contain blatant misinformation, that’s it.

    There are a lot of objective and critical Paul supporters, such as myself. I don’t even agree with Ron Paul on everything, especially his Christianity – but in comparison, McCain is a nightmare waiting to happen. Obama is a lot of hot air and vague, empty promises. Barr is a flip flopper and proved to be a petty asshole during the Clinton years. (I generally like Bill Clinton, aside from the fact that he repeatedly refused to let the CIA pull the trigger on bin Laden.)

    “if Ron Paul’s people wanted to silence the racists/xenophobes/truthers/bible-thumpers they could have.”

    Not true. Ron Paul (should’ve) learned his lesson with the newsletter fiasco. I’m willing to bet that McNut was given instructions on the parameters of his speech, and he apparently ignored them. Even if this was not the case – Ron Paul has categorically rejected the 9/11 truth movement on national TV… what more can you ask for?

    People within any campaign or movement disagree on some issues. The diversity of support Paul has is so deep simply because everyone just wants freedom and is tired of this bullshit government. If someone thinks George Bush remotely controlled a plane and sent it into the towers, fine. Let him. If he’ll give time, money, and energy to the broader idea of getting the government the hell out of my finances and my life, I’m with him.

    If you disagree with Ron Paul’s own policies, that’s another thing. Personally, I believe they’re 100% in line with what the framers intended for this country… and anyone who wants something other than what the framers did should find another country that is more similar to their own preference. Just my thoughts.

  • wheelie

    [re=34865]TheSkeptic[/re]: That is a very sober assessment of America’s future. But how will we stop the neo-con war on Iran? I’m thinking we Ron Paul supporters should seriously consider a suicide bombing campaign. Ya know?

  • TheSkeptic

    To seriously the question – I don’t think it will be stopped. A President McCain would fire the first shot himself, and a President Obama wouldn’t stop it either.

    Personally, I think we should just nuke the entire Middle East, including Israel, and be done with the whole mess. Then, the Zionists can start lobbying for something else, like a decent health care system.

  • Jim Newell

    [re=34874]TheSkeptic[/re]: Jeez, you take a 5-hour nap and look at all the banning that needs to take place.

  • FunkyPalmettoBug

    [re=34868]TheSkeptic[/re]: There’s no group that actually has power that is advocating it. And the only powers that matter are the US govt, the Canadian govt and Mexican Govt. I’m sure there are NGOs that would like that arraignment, but its a long way from that to it being close to reality.

    [re=34872]TheSkeptic[/re]: Anyone who claims to be representing what the framers intended isn’t. The framers set up a living breathing system that could be amended and changed. They set up legal mechanisms to change the constitution for the very reason that they foresaw that history would change circumstance.

  • Sweetie

    I just don’t understand why you felt the need for an excuse for inappropriate daytime drinking. It truly boggles the mind.

  • American Spectator

    To The Skeptic: I won’t disagree that Paultards are a diverse group. But so is a bag of mixed nuts. But it doesn’t make the bagger a genius. And kudos for the couple of hot girls you guys somehow dragged into the Paultard van; a very important step in the beginning of any relationship.

  • NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    [re=34844]Another DC Lawyer (Again)[/re]: Yes, but the capitol lounge’s bathroom (that is where we went after, right? I think i was brown-outing from a combo of alcohol and the heat) left much to be desired. They didn’t even have a mirror!

    OH, and there were only 1,500 people there TOPS. It resembled in feeling something akin to a county fair, rather than a political rally. I mean, the DC Statehood people weren’t even there!

  • wheelie

    [re=34875]Jim Newell[/re]: Aww Jim. It could have been fun (for another few hours). Meanie!

  • Paultardville

    [re=34874]TheSkeptic[/re]: Personally, I think we should just nuke the entire Middle East, including Israel, and be done with the whole mess. Then, the Zionists can start lobbying for something else, like a decent health care system.

    But you’re not one of the crazy ones. Riiiiiiiiiiiight.

  • Paultardville

    [re=34879]Sweetie[/re]: Actually it sounds like the daytime drinking was not only appropriate, but very necessary.

  • Sweetie

    [re=34884]Paultardville[/re]: Oh Lord, that’s not only fair, that’s applicable to nearly every weekend.

  • NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    [re=34884]Paultardville[/re]: As necessary as oxygen… or as a replacement, actually, given all the hot air being wasted by Ye Olde Paultarde

  • Sweetie

    Frankly, at this point, my husband and I are debating whether to boozily shoot each other with paintballs on the front lawn for every shot fired during Predator or to just give up and drink shot for shot during Intervention.

  • Darehead

    [re=34883]Paultardville[/re]: Amen.

  • SkimLatteLiberal

    [re=34889]Sweetie[/re]: The only reason why I haven’t started drinking yet is because of course my sober self had to tune into the past hour and a half of Intervention. I admire you and your husband’s resolve.

  • Sweetie

    Oh my God. Jesse Ventura’s character just died.

    “Goodbye, bro.”

  • Sweetie

    [re=34891]SkimLatteLiberal[/re]: Given our respective fam pasts, there’s nothing to be done but laugh and booze while watching everyone else’s misfortune.

  • TheSkeptic

    [re=34883]Paultardville[/re]: Can’t a guy be sarcastic? After all, that is the entire basis of this article, isn’t it?

    To be honest, I think we should have never gone into the Middle East, or anywhere else we’ve ever fucked around. We don’t need to kill them, we don’t need to save them. If this country had been minding its own business for the past few decades, we wouldn’t have nearly as many problems as we do today. Guess that’s a matter of contention.

    Now, of course, we’re reaping the benefits of interventionism, and HAVE to fight a bunch of nutjobs in caves. No way around that.

    Now, I have to get my conspiracy fix – JFK is on.

  • TheSkeptic

    [re=34883]Paultardville[/re]: I wrote a response, but for some reason it can’t make it past moderation. Nutshell: the post was sarcastic.

  • American Spectator

    To Paultardville: I believe The Skeptard could very well be the most sane in his circle. I compliment him on his courage to announce in this forum, that he will not, after all, accept the post of Secretary of State.

    I will however support his decision to stay on disability and yell at his television.

  • columnv

    [re=34771]Prodigalson1982[/re]: I was thinking the same thing, especially the Napoleon comment.

  • itgetter

    Apparently there were two fainters. Intrepid Paultard TheSkeptic gives his/her report:

    http://www.ronpaulforums.com/showthread.php?t=146419

    “I was standing right by the stairs, and he literally almost fell on me. I instinctively dodged and his head just missed my feet. I would’ve tried to catch him I only saw him falling out of the corner of my eye.

    I felt sorry for the guy – he was all dressed up. I hated that it happened during Michael Scheuer, who I think is one of the most important voices in this movement because of his terrorism credentials.”

  • Paultardette

    Hey you crazy kids, another ‘Paultard’ here. Like my friend TheSkeptic above, I’m also not a truther, have never once dressed in colonial garb (though there was that one Halloween party that got a bit crazy and I ended up in someone else’s costume…tangent, sorry) I’m agnostic, a scientist, employed, not particularly fond of pot, can’t stand the fringe of the RP crowd. But yeah, they are in the minority.

    These events bring out the most fervent of supporters, obviously. And, it’s also obvious that you’re mocking us, so why would it serve you to take a picture of me and say, “damn, she looks normal.” THAT’S NOT FUNNY! Well, maybe if you got a shot of my birthmark that looks slightly like the outline of Italy, it’d be mildly funny, but that’s neither here nor there, because I’m not going to show you my birthmark, dammit.

    I do disagree with TheSkeptic on nuking the Middle East. That, my friend, is genocide. Not a big fan here. I’m down with Ron Paul because I want out of the Middle East and I want to leave other cultures alone, for one thing.

    As hard as you guys mock us for our “troofers,” our nutcases, our extremists–apparently you don’t read too many threads on RonPaulForums.com, where we routinely rip them to shreds. But hey, that’s not very entertaining, is it?

    Anyways, if I were at the DC thing today, I would have had a beer with you. I wouldn’t have put out, much to your chagrin, but most of us really are normal people who cringe at all this fringe crap.

  • hrhkingfriday

    good god, its an outbreak of paultardation!

  • Cicada

    [re=34901]hrhkingfriday[/re]: One of the signs of the apocalypse (which is being orchestrated by the sinister Zionist forces in the Middle East, of course).

  • wheelie

    [re=34900]Paultardette[/re]: Yay! You are an expert. Post us links to the various threads where we sensible Ron Paul supporters savaged those extremists.

    I’d imagine that there is enough compelling evidence to have us glorious RON PAUL supporters in the majority by the end of the weekend. Soon, we will take over Wonkette, and then Daily Kos and Huff Post, and soon . . .soon . . . RON PAUL will be the President of all the World!

    Except the crappy bits.

  • nietzschefan
  • wheelie

    [re=34904]nietzschefan[/re]: I took the comment as sarcastic too. And now s/he’s gone. Gone, I tell you. Sometimes, I wonder if there really is a God.

  • nietzschefan

    Not according to Nietzsche.

    I think he was on to something.

  • Deserve Neither

    Wheelie; there is and need I say she is pissed?

  • glamourdammerung

    [re=34856]TheSkeptic[/re]: “Regardless of what you read here, all Ron Paul supporters are not crazy.”

    That is correct. The others tend to be ignorant and/or aggressively stupid, which is not really something to brag about either.

  • WonkaBee

    [re=34901]hrhkingfriday[/re]: It must be paybacks: we crashed their party, they crash ours!

  • WonkaBee

    [re=34900]Paultardette[/re]: said: “… That, my friend, is genocide. ”

    Wait, … WALNUTZ!, is that you???

  • WonkaBee

    [re=34881]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: said”…I mean, the DC Statehood people weren’t even there!”

    What about “Free Mumia!” ?? They’ve never missed a rally I’ve attended…

  • Another DC Lawyer (Again)

    [re=34881]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: Totally bummed I missed the after party at the lounge…capitalism, like nature, called. “Country Fair” is an excellent assessment…I was ready for the the bearded lady to pop out at any moment…

  • foog

    Listen, you censorious bast-tards! The Septic was being sarcastic in his last post, and would tell you so hisself if only he wasn’t banned from this here forum. He doesn’t REALLY want to nuke the Middle East, and he is content with the evul Zionists lobbying for more bagels and lox or whatever the fuck it is those rotten IMF-running-one-world-gubbmint-promoting-elder-protocoling-etc-etc-ing Jews are lobbying for.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    Aw, Jim, did you really ban him? C’mon. I honestly enjoy it when people with vision start talking to us cynics.

  • foog

    [re=34941]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: That’s OK, I’ll channel him for you…

    Yes Annie, he banned me. I blame Wonkette’s narrow-mindedness and inability to see through its own prejudices toward a vast and diverse movement. That and the Jews.

  • NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    [re=34936]Another DC Lawyer (Again)[/re]: Well, if the picture in Jim’s next post is any indication, she did!

    Yeah, you totally missed out. I’m thinking maybe we should have a regular (monthly?) meeting of DC Wonketters

  • WonkaBee

    [re=34936]Another DC Lawyer (Again)[/re]: how about the bearded attorney general?

  • Terry

    [re=34774]DieOnTheTurnpike[/re]:

    No, the Williamsburg folks would know that they colonial era folks were not busting out their velvets and brocades to wear when it’s 95 degrees out. These are definitely Paultards of the first order.

  • Canuckledragger

    [re=34857]Mahousu[/re]:“Well, I am disappointed that the CFL ever let Doug Flutie go. They’ve never been the same since.”

    Whatever Doug’s football prowess, the CFL had no choice but to let him go. They’d heard and seen the Flutie Brothers band butcher CCR, et al, and hastily ex-/de-ported the lot of ’em. Good call, all in all.

    However, their quite vilely awful CD raised money for something or other, so they’re at least philanthropic middle aged rock-star wannabes.

    Kinda funny, unintentionally, but no joke:

    http://www.flutieband.com/

    If you buy the CD, whatever you do, don’t crack the shrinkwrap. Give it to a footbal-loving friend and they’ll think it’s awesome! And you’ll be spared a subpar 35 minutes of life you cannot ever claw back. Just take my word for it.

    As for the outbreak of Paultardation here, let me just say that even without having seen her photo, I’d hit Paultardette. First, she has a sense of humour, evidenced by her choice of handle here. Second, I wanna see that birthmark, dogdammit! Third, it is my duty to ensure she becomes “particularly fond of pot.” [And she will, my homies, she will…]

  • nietzschefan

    Paultardette just emailed me – apparently she is the little girl in the picture above.

    Sorry boys.

  • Schadenfried

    No Paultards of color in the picture? That’s not racial transcendence!

  • Jewdishoowary Square

    [re=34989]Schadenfried[/re]: You can’t photograph what’s not there.

    Seriously, there couldn’t have been more than two black people at the whole damn thing.

  • the chavi

    [re=34899]itgetter[/re]: Oh Christ, Michael Scheuer was there? Well now we know they’re fucktarded.

  • nietzschefan

    Michael Scheuer is absolutely retarded. We are very clearly winning the war on terror – or as W likes to say, the war on tara.

  • KevoTron

    Headaches? ONE shot? Pussies….

    I drank my ass off on the West Coast to drown my bitterness about missing this extraordinary event.

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    Are you guys sure you didn’t accidentally attend a free Paul Revere & the Raiders concert in the park?

  • Gormogon

    Wait, the drinks were free? This Wonkette-reading Paultard never wakes before noon on Saturday, but might have if the FREE DRINKS were announced.

    After drinking enough coffee and smoking a bowl, I staggered in mid/late afternoon, in time to hear Wonkette-fave Adam Kokesh and then, the good Dr himself. I’d guess about 3,000. Optimistic Paultards were saying 5-7,000 and I heard later CNN said 5-800, so I’ll stick with my 3,000 eyeball.

  • Cinderelliotte

    ok i saw these people too. at first i felt awful for the kids, then i realized when they are comparing “most embarassing parents” stories in college, these guys totally win.

  • Borat

    [re=34872]TheSkeptic[/re]: I don’t disagree with everything Ron Paul is for. In fact I like some of it. I just get scared by some of the other people who likes what he says. But I also have a very short attention span. And I tend to get very high when I’m on Wonkette. So forgive me if I am not making any sense.

  • NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    [re=35024]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: While I don’t deny the possibility, as DCists we (kinda) know where we are going. What’s more surprising is that the Paultards found their way there.

  • Schadenfried

    [re=34994]Jewdishoowary Square[/re]: The sad part is that I, as well as by best friend, might actually know one of them.

  • nietzschefan

    Borat, as a fully licensed spokesman for The Skeptic, I have to say that he would concur with your assessment – there are some crazy people who like Ron Paul.

    Then again, there are some crazy people who like, say, Obama. Or Hillary. *shudder*

    By the way, your movie was great.

  • foog

    [re=35050]Borat[/re]: As the unlicensed spiritual medium who is currently channeling The Skeptic, I’d just like to say: Hey! Weren’t you played by a Jew?

  • nietzschefan

    Borat is a Zionist.

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