As a presidential candidate, Mike Huckabee had no money, staff, or knowledge of foreign policy. He did have an economic policy, but it was the Fair Tax, that famously comical pyramid scheme. So how did he get the second most delegates? Metaphors. Extended metaphors. Millions of extended metaphors about key lime pie and yard work and skinning ducks, or other archetypal aspects of the Average American’s daily life. And now that he wants to be John McCain’s vice president, he has a new metaphor to explain the situation: he wants the football captain to ask him to prom, mostly because he wants to wear a pretty dress.
We all remember high school!
Huckabee suggested questions about whether he might join McCain on the ticket were premature. “You can’t accept an invitation to the prom until the football captain asks you. So I’m not going to go out and buy the outfit just yet,” said Huckabee, according to AFP.
Shit, he’s pregnant.