Cindy “Cougar” McCain said on this morning’s Today show that she will “never” release her tax returns, because she is “not the candidate.” No, but she has all of John McCain’s assets (and some more, hummina hummina hummina), and she lets him use her private jet all the time, and she has a very public position, and she steals pills from children which is a felony. [YouTube]

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