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John McCain is literally falling apart like an old jalopyEverybody wants to know if John McCain is equipped to serve out a full term in office before expiring of the Old Age Vapours, so his team is assembling a squadron of doctors to vouch for his excellent physical health. This is a man who broke every bone in his body, including the little dealies in his inner ear, before having them each systematically removed and then re-inserted at a 45 degree angle in a sterile Vietnamese Torture Prison. He also had half his face cut off because of Face Cancer.

Despite these hardships, and the fact that he is old enough to be a Chinese dictator, John McCain likes to go rimming on the Grand Canyon. He also enjoys riding on his campaign bus and seducing reporters by daring them to touch his scalp. This is why he will be elected president and 46-year-old Barack Obama will have to ride his tricycle to work in the Senate.

McCain’s docs to say he’s fit to lead U.S. [New York Daily News]

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