Rudy Giuliani wants to be president so he can take away the guns of gay fetuses before aborting the little ones, and a “social conservative” senator has decided to endorse Rudy’s bold campaign. Sadly, nobody has ever heard of the “family values” senator, who was recently sworn in as the senator from … we don’t know, actually. Guam?
Let’s hunt for clues, after the jump.
Giuliani is the leading Republican candidate at the moment. His promise to make every day like 9/11 has resonated with the GOP base. Those voters have grown depressed as they’ve lost their jobs and homes while the Republican leaders in the White House and Congress are all falling apart in one evil scam or another — everyone wants to return to the clarity of September 11, 2001, when we could not find our president and Rudy Giuliani proudly walked around the ruins of New York, which had been blown up.
“It’s very clear to me that he’s not running for president to advance some liberal social agenda,” said the new senator.
Rudy was laughing in the corner as he knocked over his collapsible WTC model, again, and sang homosexual opera tunes at the top of his voice while police tear-gassed a mob of his ex-wives.