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LNSSSSSSS.jpgHow’s being back in the office? Shitty, huh? Did you have a nice Thanksgiving? Did you hook up with your cousin? Was it good? Since you’ve been gone, there has been a major infiltration of turbos on Late Night Shots. Our golden boys and girls are handling it, well, with humor:

RE: Saturday at K St
Posted By: Jake LaMotta on 11-27-2006 10:41 am Report as shockingly offensive

anybody know how to make 15 pounds of fat attractive?

…put a nipple on it.

Follow Intern Lauren into the world of racism, incest, ski bunnies and gourmet nuts (they really do make the perfect gift) after the jump.

Casting Call
Posted By: Upcoming Xmas Parties on 11-27-2006 9:38 am Report as shockingly offensive

How would you rank the upcoming xmas parties (Madison, University Club, Santa Soiree, Southern Comfort, Rednecks & Turtlenecks, National Press Club, Zenzi Xmas party)???

I’m not that hard pressed to go to all of them, esp when there are several that occur on the same night as friends’ parties.

Accordingly, which ones absolutely cannot be missed?

thanks.

RE: Casting Call
Posted By: Santa on 11-27-2006 9:58 am Report as shockingly offensive

1.Madison

2.Rednecks and Turtlenecks

3.Santa Soiree

4.Boondoggle

5.Chamber of Commerce Christmas Party

6.LNS Christmas Party (Ok, so I’m not sure if that one really exists but I’ll include it anyway)

7.Rednecks & Turtlenecks

8.Smith Point Christmas Party

RE: Casting Call
Posted By: P.T. Farnum on 11-27-2006 10:09 am Report as shockingly offensive

Sam Farnum’s party at the Point

RE: Casting Call
Posted By: P.T. Farnum on 11-27-2006 10:10 am Report as shockingly offensive

PS its called, “A Very Dutch Christmas”

RE: Casting Call
Posted By: question on 11-27-2006 10:17 am Report as shockingly offensive

Will Sam be there dancing with a sock on his schlong?

RE: Casting Call
Posted By: Sammy on 11-27-2006 10:35 am Report as shockingly offensive

Yeah, I think he just might be.

RE: Casting Call
Posted By: apres ski on 11-27-2006 10:52 am Report as shockingly offensive

is it a faux pas not to wear aggressive 80s ski attire? while that would be fun, i’m not sure its approriate for the other events I am going to that night. ladies?

RE: Casting Call
Posted By: Heavy D on 11-27-2006 10:52 am Report as shockingly offensive

Does the u club realize the connotations of the skiing theme or are they in on it?

RE: Casting Call
Posted By: … on 11-27-2006 10:56 am Report as shockingly offensive

Ill be going as cute ski bunny with a little 80’s flair, but not too aggressive, I think the quick change may be neccessary, unfortunately. And Heavy D, yes, we understand and embrace the connotations of the skiing theme.

RE: Casting Call
Posted By: attire on 11-27-2006 11:25 am Report as shockingly offensive

how aggressive is the apres ski attire? googles? sorrels? fur?

RE: Casting Call
Posted By: attire info on 11-27-2006 11:27 am Report as shockingly offensive

As aggressive as you want to me. One girl I’m friends with wore a purple 1-piece, and I’ve already mandated that she bring it back this year. You’ll see a fair amount of ski pattern sweaters. Some people didn’t put much into it. Nobody will be barred admission, so just do what you can.

White House Staffer Beaten and Robbed
Posted By: did anyone hear about this? on 11-24-2006 11:08 am Report as shockingly offensive

http://www.thehawaiichannel.com/news/10373190/detail.html

RE: White House Staffer Beaten and Robbed
Posted By: WHTO on 11-24-2006 1:10 pm Report as shockingly offensive

Gregg is going to be ok. He was badly beaten but is going to make a full recovery.

RE: White House Staffer Beaten and Robbed
Posted By: mvp on 11-25-2006 1:26 pm Report as shockingly offensive

A real Pitts would have fought back… Nobody makes us bleed our own blood.

Most Diverse Thanksgiving Ever
Posted By: PBP on 11-23-2006 10:07 pm Report as shockingly offensive

Wow, that is all I have to say. This Thanksgiving goes down in the history books as the most diverse-liberal one ever. Let me describe the dinner table: First there was there was the Haitian ex-con and his white girlfriend from California, a gay Republican from Alabama, a Paki from GA, a crazy lib from MS and an idealistic Jew teacher/grad student from CO…lets just say that my flowing locks and pink Lacoste did not fit in. In between bizarre conversations about how much Bush sucks and bong hits, I learned more about the fucked up idealogy of left wing libs. It was rather amusing, but it being Thanksgiving and all, I was tolerant and had a good time. Luckily the copious amounts of wine I consumed made up for the twilight zone atmosphere. Whoever thought that a Haitian turkey could be so damn good…

RE: Most Diverse Thanksgiving Ever
Posted By: excuse me on 11-24-2006 12:49 am Report as shockingly offensive

..is there any coke at this party?

RE: Most Diverse Thanksgiving Ever
Posted By: Thanksgiving on 11-24-2006 1:48 am Report as shockingly offensive

I took down my second cousin tonight. Will give more details when she isn’t standing in my bathroom. I’d like some feedback.

RE: Most Diverse Thanksgiving Ever
Posted By: cant believe on 11-24-2006 8:17 am Report as shockingly offensive

cant believe I’m at work right now…. very interested in the second cousin story

RE: Most Diverse Thanksgiving Ever
Posted By: PBP on 11-24-2006 10:44 am Report as shockingly offensive

No coke…has anyone ever heard of keef? These libs were like chimneys when it came to their bong rips…iced down and everything…very bizarre situation. How could I forget, it was in Shaw — talk about being out of your element, it was like a different world. This second cousin story is pretty amazing…are we talking close or not so much?

RE: Most Diverse Thanksgiving Ever
Posted By: jlh on 11-24-2006 11:01 am Report as shockingly offensive

anyone who still smokes with keef out of college is a loser. weed is not cool anymore

RE: Most Diverse Thanksgiving Ever
Posted By: Thanksgiving on 11-24-2006 3:02 pm Report as shockingly offensive

Stories like this always seem a lot funnier when you’re hammered at 1:30 in the morning. Basically we had about 25 of our “closest” relatives over. I am 24 and none of our generation has any kids so these holiday get-togethers are always big shitshows and I generally know about half the people there. Anyhow, after about 9 glasses of Pinot Noir me and two of my second cousins (a 19 yr old girl and a 24 yr old girl) went into the den and put in A Christmas Story. About an hour into it my dad’s shitfaced second cousin came in and watched for a while. It was the scene where the sexually provocative lamp in the shape of the woman’s leg arrives, and Carole (my dad’s 2nd cousin) started asking probing questions about my 19 yr old cousin’s dating life. Apparently she has some high school boyfriend. The whole thing didn’t interest me at all, I was too focused on how to get my dad to open up another bottle of wine. Anyhow, my dad’s 2nd cousin left, the 24 yr old walked out, I felt like I was about to doze off and my 2nd cousin reaches over and kisses me on the cheek. It was about as awkward as most of the moves I used to make at her age. I was completely baffled but decided to go with it so we made out for about 15 minutes as I stared at the door, completely horrified that someone would walk in. Didn’t go for the usfb, there was a bit of over the pants rubbing, but I was too tired, and the whole thing had me kind of confused. I really just don’t even know what to think about it. Is hooking up with your second cousin incestuous/illegal? I guess she’s a cute girl but I’ve never really looked at her that way. She ended up sleeping in the bedroom that adjoins to my bathroom. I kind of laid there listening to Same Old Lang Syne wondering if she was going to come sneak in at some point to raise the stakes to the next level, but she never did. She and her family left before I woke up this morning. The holidays bring about some strange family interaction, at least in my family.

RE: Most Diverse Thanksgiving Ever
Posted By: very interesting on 11-24-2006 3:19 pm Report as shockingly offensive

i usually read these stories stories with a good bit of skepticism, but i feel like the abundance of ridiculously innane details leave the possibility open that this could have actually happened?? and i love dan fogelberg, if she had come in and dry humped you to the tune of that poignant melody it would have been a nice cherry on the cake.

RE: Most Diverse Thanksgiving Ever
Posted By: wow on 11-24-2006 4:22 pm Report as shockingly offensive

That is quite a story. My dad actually dated his second cousin so I think legally you’re on solid ground. But it could be a hit to your reputation, both because of her relation to you, and her age (she has a high school boyfriend??)

RE: Most Diverse Thanksgiving Ever
Posted By: actually on 11-24-2006 4:53 pm Report as shockingly offensive

Rudy Giuliani’s first wife was his second cousin.

What is H20?
Posted By: confused. on 11-22-2006 1:35 pm Report as shockingly offensive

According to my profile I was there last week. Is that a gay bar?

RE: What is H20?
Posted By: lol on 11-22-2006 1:36 pm Report as shockingly offensive

SW waterfront…thug life, yo

RE: What is H20?
Posted By: blacked out on 11-22-2006 1:37 pm Report as shockingly offensive

Maybe you were there you just don’t remember

RE: What is H20?
Posted By: Jimmy the Greek on 11-22-2006 1:39 pm Report as shockingly offensive

The term “blacked out” can have 2 meanings when used in reference to H2O…

THough I like to call it…H2 OH YEA!

RE: What is H20?
Posted By: blacked out on 11-22-2006 1:42 pm Report as shockingly offensive

I don’t get it

H2 Oh yea?

RE: What is H20?
Posted By: Sleddin McGee on 11-22-2006 1:59 pm Report as shockingly offensive

Water

RE: What is H20?
Posted By: JTG on 11-22-2006 2:13 pm Report as shockingly offensive

Forget it.

RE: What is H20?
Posted By: Vegas on 11-22-2006 2:44 pm Report as shockingly offensive

Only place I’ve heard that has it’s own catfish fry buffet.

Definitely Ghettofabolous!

RE: What is H20?
Posted By: Southern Raised on 11-22-2006 2:45 pm Report as shockingly offensive

If its got collards w/ that catfish buffet than its legit

RE: What is H20?
Posted By: Jimmy the Greek on 11-22-2006 2:48 pm Report as shockingly offensive

Only fried foods at this buffet brother…might find some fried okra if you’re looking for something green.

RE: What is H20?
Posted By: Southern Raised on 11-22-2006 2:50 pm Report as shockingly offensive

Every fish fry needs cornbread and kool aid….and some watermelon to finish things off….

RE: What is H20?
Posted By: Jimmy the Greek on 11-22-2006 2:52 pm Report as shockingly offensive

Defintely some melon and cornbread…no kool aid though, only Shasta Grape Drink.

RE: What is H20?
Posted By: Southern Raised on 11-22-2006 2:55 pm Report as shockingly offensive

Well played…shasta is the truth…but where can you find it? not where around here…maybe some stashed up at the Shrimp Boat on East Capitol

RE: What is H20?
Posted By: Jimmy the Greek on 11-22-2006 2:59 pm Report as shockingly offensive

They sell it at the Giant. But if you are looking for green pepper welfare burgers, you’ll have to ask your mom.

need to know where to buy gourmet nuts
Posted By: nut lover on 11-20-2006 10:55 am Report as shockingly offensive

i would like to buy some tasty nuts for a gift… as much as id like this posting to be a joke, it is not. please help!

RE: need to know where to buy gourmet nuts
Posted By: gourmet on 11-20-2006 10:58 am Report as shockingly offensive

sutton place aka balducci’s.

RE: need to know where to buy gourmet nuts
Posted By: D&D on 11-20-2006 11:00 am Report as shockingly offensive

dean and deluca probably

RE: need to know where to buy gourmet nuts
Posted By: Nuts on 11-20-2006 11:01 am Report as shockingly offensive

They give them away free at 5 guys. Just grab a brown sack and fill it up.

RE: need to know where to buy gourmet nuts
Posted By: The Squirrel on 11-20-2006 11:15 am Report as shockingly offensive

Go to www.asouthernseason.com and order some-great nuts and nice selection

RE: need to know where to buy gourmet nuts
Posted By: TheNurse on 11-20-2006 12:18 pm Report as shockingly offensive

Dean and Deluca, Balduccis, or Neiman Marcus in Mazza Gallerie would be worth a shot. All have online as well…

RE: need to know where to buy gourmet nuts
Posted By: star nut on 11-20-2006 7:12 pm Report as shockingly offensive

Star Nut in McLean. www.starnutgourmet.com

RE: need to know where to buy gourmet nuts
Posted By: timothy bryce on 11-20-2006 8:15 pm Report as shockingly offensive

Dee’s Nuts also has a nice selection.

Rugby got their Liquor Liscense!!
Posted By: KK on 11-27-2006 7:59 am Report as shockingly offensive

Since Tuesday is the new Thursday, lets rally tomorrow- 8-12?

RE: Rugby got their Liquor Liscense!!
Posted By: kk on 11-27-2006 8:00 am Report as shockingly offensive

and i obviously know how to spell…

RE: Rugby got their Liquor Liscense!!
Posted By: kh on 11-27-2006 9:22 am Report as shockingly offensive

do they serve their egg sandwiches all day and night?? bc im craving. (and i always have problems spelling license too.. what’s up w/ that??)

RE: Rugby got their Liquor Liscense!!
Posted By: Spellcheck on 11-27-2006 9:34 am Report as shockingly offensive

RL – Can we get and LNS Spellcheck on here? It will keep Wonkette off our back and make some of these Ivy League Educations seem worth the tuition.

RE: Rugby got their Liquor Liscense!!
Posted By: reality on 11-27-2006 9:36 am Report as shockingly offensive

spellcheck won’t keep you from using “and” when “a” is required

$
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