So turns out that George Allen’s not the only casually ignorant fella involved in the Virginia senate race. Meet Jim Webb Jr., Democratic candidate Jim Webb’s son. He’s a Marine. He’s 24. He likes hideous MySpace skins. He also likes porn:
As the official purchaser of porn in the ‘support this friggin Marine program’. You are not only the provider of pornagraphic paraphenalia, to this individual friggin Marine, but a whole Platoon of friggin Marines, waiting to be supported by someone like you, the General Public. But please, no midget or goat porn.
No, just straightforward classic American cheesecake:
Any sexy ladies want to mail some….pictures…please inquire within ;) I mean it seriously would be a giant benefit to the country. No one has to know, it can just be a really cool dirty little secret.
Don’t get him started on the Chinese, though, those slanty-eyed fishing trip-ruiners from the mysterious Orient:
Right above the reel it read “made in china.” ‘Confucious say, cheaply made rod make expensive catch.’ Zebco is made in china now?! Holy crap! This wholesome everyday American product, is now relegated to manufacture by a bunch of people in China, who will probably NEVER even SEE a lake. Let alone fish one. Infact the 29.95 I paid for my rod, if probably their yearly income (due to the wonderful system that is communism).
It’s not so much the casual igorance that gets us as that “Confucius say” jokes stopped being funny when vaudeville died. It’s Charlie Chan calling, Jim, and he wants his schtick back. To be fair, the guy’s got them Chinamen dead to rights on that point about lakes, though. We give this about 15 minutes before the Webb campaign pulls a “Me So Solly” and shuts Jim Jr.’s MySpace down, so check it out now while you can.