<![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary - Wonkette Comments]]> http://cache.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/wonkette.com.png <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary - Wonkette Comments]]> http://wonkette.com Fri, 28 Mar 2008 23:35:14 EDT Fri, 28 Mar 2008 23:35:14 EDT http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4928854 I just kinda want to throw both of those crazy kids in there and see what happens in four years.

TheMac

]]> 3:373127:c4928854 Fri, 28 Mar 2008 23:35:14 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4915304 This cries out for Kustomization: let's pimp this bad boy with a GPS system and a spinnaker advertising Captain Morgan rum. You could sail it down the East River on your way to the Hamptons or -- if you fuck up -- maybe Sandy Hook. How about a New Orleans franchise?

broken.yellow.fangs

]]> 3:373127:c4915304 Fri, 28 Mar 2008 11:42:25 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4915091 @FloraWay: The person that buys this is someone like my Uncle John. In the early 1960's he built a fallout shelter under his driveway in response to the Cuban missile crisis. Soon afterward it filled with a couple of feet of water from an underground stream. But as an eight-year old I thought it was cool, like an adult subterranean tree-house. But even as a child, I knew that the ventilation pipes under a pine tree probably would not filer out radiation. As for the Quantum Sleeper, where, exactly, is the potty?

bunnyhead

]]> 3:373127:c4915091 Fri, 28 Mar 2008 11:32:55 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4914364 Gee, I hope they considered the necessity of air-holes.

TGY

]]> 3:373127:c4914364 Fri, 28 Mar 2008 11:04:52 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4914317 Why are people so afraid of dying? There are worse things to have happen, you know. Typical white people.

liquiddaddy

]]> 3:373127:c4914317 Fri, 28 Mar 2008 11:02:59 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4913937 At first glance I thought the copy said, "Protection from kids".

Really, who couldn't use some protection from their progeny?

spangledangel

]]> 3:373127:c4913937 Fri, 28 Mar 2008 10:46:01 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4913831 This bed and its attributes were invented prior to 9:11 and were conceived on July 10th in Fort Lauderdale 2001.

9:11 AM or 9:11 PM because I only spend $135,000 on crazy shit from crazy MORNING people.

oneninesevenfour

]]> 3:373127:c4913831 Fri, 28 Mar 2008 10:41:43 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4913135 Buy the new Quantum Sleeper with boson-rich pine veneer exterior. Now with 50% more fermions than the Original Sleeper.

PrizePig

]]> 3:373127:c4913135 Fri, 28 Mar 2008 10:00:05 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4912605 Where's the plastic and duck tape?

Guppy06

]]> 3:373127:c4912605 Fri, 28 Mar 2008 08:35:50 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4912256 Retreating into phantasy works for Hils, it should work for us:

+ Watch video

villageatrois

]]> 3:373127:c4912256 Fri, 28 Mar 2008 02:05:09 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4912033 Protection from stalkers?? I'd say you just made it a hell of a lot easier for them to find you.

ponies!

]]> 3:373127:c4912033 Fri, 28 Mar 2008 00:45:54 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4911567 Protection from Natural Disaster(s)?
I don't see an anchor around that thing; so you may go to sleep in New Orleans and wake up in La Habana, Dios te libre y guarde!

Btwbfdimho

]]> 3:373127:c4911567 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 23:04:55 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4911496 I want to end up trapped inside one of those with Chelsea and Ashley Kristen.

kudzu

]]> 3:373127:c4911496 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 22:52:06 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4911480 To homage the comment above (and Robert Anton Wilson):

So if this is like the Quantum box (I said box) that Schroedinger put his cat (I said cat) in, can you be both fucking the cougary milf soccer mom and NOT fucking the cougary milf soccer mom... I mean, your state is unknown until the physicists running the experiment opens the box, right?

Perhaps we should put McLame, Hillz and Barama in the box and not open it until after the elections, and let quantum causality determine our fates...

merrychristen

]]> 3:373127:c4911480 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 22:48:24 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4911259 Goddamn motherfuckin' cowardly pussies. I'm talking to you, America, you motherless cunts.

Lazy Media

]]> 3:373127:c4911259 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 22:01:45 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4911073 test

jagorev

]]> 3:373127:c4911073 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 21:36:25 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4910974 @metropolitan: It's creepy the way he has her arms pinned so she can't resist while he dry humps her lower back.

MagnusMaximus

]]> 3:373127:c4910974 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 21:17:27 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4910966 It's a quantum sleeper, which means you're both asleep and awake until someone opens it up and collapses the wave function.

MagnusMaximus

]]> 3:373127:c4910966 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 21:15:52 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4910828 I was sure this was a spoof page, as there's nothing to order, no contact number, and just an email address. But I looked up the patent, and he actually filed it, so hmmmm.

[patft.uspto.gov]

youbastid

]]> 3:373127:c4910828 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 20:53:24 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4910403 If you close the lid, does it have mirrors on the top?

Gotta see the action!

No mirrors, no go!

DickySteele

]]> 3:373127:c4910403 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:58:18 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4910361 I've been trying to find a way to withdraw further from society.

This should do the trick. Just me and my inner voices from now on . . .

scott_dog

]]> 3:373127:c4910361 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:54:21 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4910231 @Canuckledragger: This shit's awesome! I can final stop sleeping standing up in the closet with the door taped shut.

Kevotron

]]> 3:373127:c4910231 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:37:47 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4910142 Needs a higher lid. Missionary would get boring after a while.

Senator Boomdog

]]> 3:373127:c4910142 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:27:14 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4909952 What? No duct tape? How can you survive without duct tape?

Canuckledragger

]]> 3:373127:c4909952 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 19:04:47 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4909498 Oh so that's where Brian Lamb of C-span hid Obama?? Because I still haven't seen him on C-span with any of his new policy speeches. Where's the one he just gave on the economy??

Brian, as soon as you're done jacking off to Clinton, Gingrich and McCain under those white robes I suggest you parachute off to Alabama or somewhere. Quick.

Because Obama's going to win. And your palm will grow coarse and hairy.

hazmaq

]]> 3:373127:c4909498 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 18:16:31 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4909482 Is that Lawrence Lessig?

Blue387

]]> 3:373127:c4909482 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 18:14:39 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4909249 @Miss Perception: Then Lindsay Wagner can ask "What's Your Gimp Number?"

LittlePig

]]> 3:373127:c4909249 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:54:15 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4909228 There's nothing better than a wood box to protect you from a nuclear holocaust.

brokeback_romney

]]> 3:373127:c4909228 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:52:23 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4909153 Hibernation! A perfect solution! But not the first time America had to resort to it:

John Adams / Martin van Buren / Andrew Johnson / James Garfield / Richard Nixon and Pigasus (who nobody realizes winning with a landslide, because everybody was sleeping.)

Eac_o_System

]]> 3:373127:c4909153 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:45:53 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4909114 I'll only buy it if it makes the "che-choo-chee-che" transformers noise when it opens.

Deeb

]]> 3:373127:c4909114 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:42:52 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4909049 @FloraWay: Tom Cruise...

flatlands

]]> 3:373127:c4909049 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:38:59 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4908957 @Miss Perception:
Actually, it sort of looks like Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid.


Prozac

]]> 3:373127:c4908957 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:32:29 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4908759 If this coffin's rockin', don't come a knockin'. And if it's not, you've come too late.

Canuckledragger

]]> 3:373127:c4908759 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:20:19 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4908746 Good thing this came along... I thought I was going to have to hide from the terrorists in Hillary's box.

Tits_LaRue

]]> 3:373127:c4908746 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:19:48 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4908650 @metropolitan: No that is a suburban housewife who has been kidnapped by the neighborhood loner who is going to lock her up in that box for his private enjoyment for the remainder of her years.

Tony the Tiger IS BACK

]]> 3:373127:c4908650 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:15:06 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4908634 That looks more like the type of box you would use to lock up a "gimp" (like the one in Pulp Fiction). I may order one for myself for just that purpose.

They should call it the Gimp-Matic.

Tony the Tiger IS BACK

]]> 3:373127:c4908634 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:14:11 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4908607 The 1970s called. They want their ugly-ass console bed design back.

queeraselvis

]]> 3:373127:c4908607 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:13:04 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4908602 "The unit can also be fitted with defensive devices customized to the requests of the purchasers such as tear gas spray, robotic arms, or projectile weaponry."

That's all well and good until your Quantum Sleeper becomes sentient and uses its "projectile weaponry" on your wife.

DirkLeisure

]]> 3:373127:c4908602 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:12:47 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4908566 Looks like a big coffin.

Lymed

]]> 3:373127:c4908566 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:10:54 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4908560 A Spitzer whore could buy 20 of them. Sweet!

shortsshortsshorts

]]> 3:373127:c4908560 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:10:45 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4908557 Just curious -- why are people obligingly boxing themselves up in a carryout container for their kidnappers/stalkers?

Tra

]]> 3:373127:c4908557 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:10:36 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4908554 When I was a kid we used to call those boxes where you sleep "coffins".

StoneSoup

]]> 3:373127:c4908554 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:10:27 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4908547 I looks like it's made out of the same kind of shitty particleboard paneling you'd find in some kids parents' basement. It probably won't protect you from terrorists, but if you pretend hard enough it can protect you from the onset of the 1980s.

SuperUnison

]]> 3:373127:c4908547 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:10:07 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4908515 Imagine the kind of people that buy that? The website says that it costs $100,000! I just want to meet these people, and ask why they're so afraid of life.

FloraWay

]]> 3:373127:c4908515 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:08:30 EDT <![CDATA[The Only Way To Escape Barack & Hillary]]> http://wonkette.com/373127/the-only-way-to-escape-barack--hillary#c4908495 is that alan greenspan booty dancing with a soccer mom?

metropolitan

]]> 3:373127:c4908495 Thu, 27 Mar 2008 17:07:35 EDT