Crackhead Teen Butterstick Now Living On Streets - Wonkette Comments

Crackhead Teen Butterstick Now Living On Streets

Trai_Dep — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 03:02:13 EDT

And, I think parents would respect their sullen progeny much more if they turned into 3/4 tons of foam-mouthed, fur-clad, feral-clawed, sharp-toothed engines of carnage after clearing puberty. Would definately make those Sweet Sixteen parties more fun to watch.

(Spring break rampages don't count)

Trai_Dep

Crackhead Teen Butterstick Now Living On Streets

Trai_Dep — Fri, 06 Apr 2007 02:58:40 EDT

True story: Yellowstone Park, picnic table. Adorable lumbering bear comes bumbling along. Midwestern family, raised on Disney nature films, scatter. Watch a bit. Thinks, "Awww, Yogi's soooo cuuuuute!" Cautiously approach bear rummaging table, with no ill effects.

Dad poses 2-year-old, golden-locked daughter on table, pulls back to view Super 8 camera (okay, old, true story) and decides picture of bumbling Yogi squatting next to table where Goldilocks lacks a certain... Interactivity. Pours gobs of honey on his toddler daughter's hands so it runs down in gooey streams.

Pulls back, expecting to capture Kodak Moment of Yogi delicately licking the honey off of shyly giggling, sun-kissed 2-year-old girl's hands.

Instead captures on film film of Yogi EATING his daughter's hands. Well most. Left the nubs. No mention if the bear got most of the honey or left in embarressment at shrieking bi-pedal hominoids.

Regrettably, this was before YouTube, so said girl only got a mention in papers (and then to National Lampoon of my older brother's that I remember to this day), and not international super-stardom. Would have been the Zapruder of its time.

Disney isn't real life people. Put the bear down and pick up the tranquilizer gun.

Trai_Dep

Crackhead Teen Butterstick Now Living On Streets

Seek — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 22:01:39 EDT

@TheHillaryHasEyes: No way, I've got money on the real Bear. Panda's eat bamboo for gawd's sake. Knut munches the Stick in 10 mins or less.

Seek

Crackhead Teen Butterstick Now Living On Streets

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 20:35:28 EDT

Cracked-out, pissed-pants Butterstick will look positively corporate-ready compared to Knut, once the latter hits Love Parade.

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you

Crackhead Teen Butterstick Now Living On Streets

xecks — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 19:42:21 EDT

Cheney wants to bbq Knute

xecks

Crackhead Teen Butterstick Now Living On Streets

Original_Spin — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 18:58:23 EDT

See the Eagle thread to know how I feel about animals. To saum it all up here: They are all adulterous and vile and I do not know why leftists like them so much!!!!! The same implications go for the Knut/Butterstick controversy, as well. Knut, if ever introduced to Butterstick, domestically or in the wild, would end up with Knut being torn to pieces in an instant with human onlookers, so denied of the animal instincts for 1 million years would be startled and grief stricken to how these two balls of fluff would ever cause a ruckus of any kind.

Original_Spin

Crackhead Teen Butterstick Now Living On Streets

byproxy — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 15:54:15 EDT

Good idea by the folks in the video. Let's take this creature that is a year away from being a gigantic ferocious death-dealing predator, and instill both a casual comfort with the presence of people and a taste for human flesh.

All right, dammit, the thing is cute.

byproxy

Crackhead Teen Butterstick Now Living On Streets

terrymct — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 15:30:59 EDT

@flatlands:
"If Larry Small had secured the future of The Stick at the National Zoo he would have been forgiven a few more months of personal home repairs."

Absolutely. I'd have cleaned his frickin chandelier for him myself.

terrymct

Crackhead Teen Butterstick Now Living On Streets

Nabisco — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 15:25:14 EDT

@Princess Sparkle Pony: That's cuz 'polar' sounds too much like, well, "Poland"

Nabisco

Crackhead Teen Butterstick Now Living On Streets

Princess Sparkle Pony — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 15:03:56 EDT

I like how the Germans call them "ice bears" rather than polar bears. Way cuter.

Princess Sparkle Pony

Crackhead Teen Butterstick Now Living On Streets

Daniel K — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 14:46:06 EDT

Wait a minute... that's no polar bear, that's a SLEESTAK cub!

Daniel K

Crackhead Teen Butterstick Now Living On Streets

MikeL — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 14:21:32 EDT

Big celeb feud - Madonna and Angelina Jolie both want to adopt the orphan cub.

MikeL

Crackhead Teen Butterstick Now Living On Streets

flatlands — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 13:27:45 EDT

@Terry: Best. Panda. Ever.

If Larry Small had secured the future of The Stick at the National Zoo he would have been forgiven a few more months of personal home repairs.

flatlands

Crackhead Teen Butterstick Now Living On Streets

sluggo — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 13:15:21 EDT

I can't wait for the critter to chomp off someone's nose. Ooooo, look how cute!

sluggo

Crackhead Teen Butterstick Now Living On Streets

terrymct — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 13:15:10 EDT

I really thought you were joking about the Knut-Leo-Annie thing.

On a related subject, Knut is cute and all, but in the final assessment, he's only one color. Loser! Long Live the Stick!

terrymct

Crackhead Teen Butterstick Now Living On Streets

WhiteyMcPetworth — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 13:13:11 EDT

Hey! Marion Barry may reek of urine and crack (and failure, and corruption, and whiskey/cough medicine shooters), but he most certainly is not "teen-aged." I'll thank you not to cast that aspersion.

WhiteyMcPetworth

Crackhead Teen Butterstick Now Living On Streets

God's Noitalinmo — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 13:05:44 EDT

There, now we've made up for all the Snorg girl comments. Sailors and bears -- see, there's something for everyone.

God's Noitalinmo