Wonkette

Oh hey looky there: John McCain now holds a 5-point national lead over liberal abortionist Barry Obama. Feel free to discuss in the comments: 1) why national polls don’t matter; 2) what a douche John Zogby is and how he lost all his credibility in calling the ‘04 election for Kerry, so Zogby reporting a McCain lead is actually good news; 3) how you will be draping black cloths over your gallery of framed Obama posters and sitting shiva for Hope. MORE »

Bob Barr looks like Reverend Jeremiah Wright and will probably cost John McCain the election, and for these two reasons alone Barack Obama makes love to Bob Barr’s voodoo doll in his hyperbaric Hope chamber every night. You see, 6% of Zogby poll respondents said they would vote for the Libertarian candidate for president, and this is the exact size of the margin Obama leads by. Score one for Liberty! MORE »

Hold on to your panties, Obamatards: since Wednesday night’s debate, Barack Obama has lost a point and Hillary Clinton has gained two in the prestigious Zogby Poll. The final nail in the coffin comes from Zogby’s own John Zogby: “No ground really gained or lost by either candidate after Wednesday’s debate.” DOOM DOOM DOOM. [Newsmax/Real Clear Politics]

The two California Democratic primary polls that ended yesterday — Zogby and SurveyUSA — have gone in entirely different directions. We’d like to blame Jesse Jackson for this, somehow. John Zogby tends to overstate the Clinton hatred, but SurveyUSA sounds like CompUSA — a bullshit electronics store — so expect some person to win. [Real Clear Politics]

According to John Zogby’s latest poll, Republican Senator John “Walnuts!” McCain is leading pretty much everywhere except in the great state of California, where conservatives want a leader with executive experience and magic underoos. MORE »

Hillary Clinton is dying. Not literally, but on some sort of quasi-micro-day-to-day level, her campaign is completely ruined forever and eternally! Between a new Zogby poll that shows her losing to every major Republican candidate in hypothetical matchups and Obama calling her White House experience complete poppycock, Hillary is a saaaaad wittle panda today. MORE »

A stunning new poll finds that everybody’s a terrible racist except for you. The Zogby survey found that while no single individual will admit to, say, hating all the Moslems, most Americans hate all the Moslems. Also, while you would never avoid a black clerk at the store, 99% of everybody else would definitely prefer a white clerk — including, we guess, black people. That’s racist! MORE »