zero tolerance

Please do not adjust your interwebs. There is nothing wrong with your computer. Yr Wonkette is actually going to sound like a wingnut blog for just a moment here, because we have to ask if administrators at the Cortines School of Visual & Performing Arts in downtown Los Angeles are maybe just a little completely […]

Guten Morgen, meine Wonkadamen und Wonkaherren! Feeling cheerful about your sportsball brackets so far? Or even more cheerful because you do not follow sportsball? Well, we are here to stop that good feeling, and make you so broody that you crush out your vape pen into your half-finished, tepid mochaccino, because we are srs blog. […]

Sally Kern, she’s this lady. “Oklahoma Republican” says everything it needs to say, right there, but she is an extra special Oklahoma Republican, mostly because she has P-E-N-I-S on her mind all the time. Gay P-E-N-I-S! Being crammed down her throat! (Luckily, that’s where her clitoris is.) But Sally Kern has a new bill in […]

Okay kids, put on your thinking chaps, it’s time for a science quiz! Q: What happens when you combine aluminum foil and hydrochloride-based toilet bowl cleaner in a sealed container? A: You don’t have to go to school anymore, AND YOU GET TO GO TO SPACE CAMP! (Also a small amount of hydrogen gas is […]

Just in case you were feeling hopeful about humanity or anything, we thought we’d nip that right in the bud. Yep, it looks like the Iconic Christmas Story for 2012 has arrived! In Grand Junction, Colorado, a single mother and her three children are going to be evicted from their apartment just in time for […]