Wonkette

When Mike McCurry posted his “Telecommunication companies have paid me to tell you that they should own the internets” thing, everyone else on HuffPo just got mad and wrote mean things about him, they didn’t demand that he take it outside. That’s why we like Cenk Uygur. MORE »

You read that Post article about the Moussaoui jury? The foreman’s all upset because one jerk kept voting against the Death Penalty, leading to a stalemate, leading to Zac’s life sentence. Sort of annoying, we guess, if you’re dead set on killing a terrorist and some stupid liberal won’t let you, but the real news here is that HENRY FONDA IS STILL ALIVE. MORE »

It’s Friday! It’s a beautiful day! After yesterday’s torrential rain, the sun is out, the birds are chirping, the weekend beckons, and you’re still sitting in your office wasting your life away. That would make anyone turn mean, right? That’s why we at Wonkette provide to you the best in all-purpose political meanness every week. But on Fridays, we outsource the meanness to Editorial Cartoon Expert the Comics Curmudgeon, who, this week, has culled the meanest of the mean from Today’s Cartoons and dissected them in the name of science.

After the jump, the tears of a VPOTUS, dope-smokin’ presidents, and a certain congresswoman we know quite well.

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• Reliable Source: Court TV’s Washington correspondent Savannah Guthrie is more focused on Zacarias Moussaoui than Scooter Libby. . . Monica Lewinsky spotted at a political comedy show in London. [WP]
• Heard on the Hill: Aide to Rep. Steve Israel (D-N.Y.) hits “reply all” with “let’s all just booze soon” missive. . . James Dobson gets caught in the doors of the Senate subway. [Roll Call]
• Page Six: John Dean gives W. Mark Felt’s memoir a horrible review, saying it “is riddled with errors” and “adds absolutely nothing to our understanding about Felt’s role as Bob Woodward’s source during Watergate.” [NYP]
• Cindy Adams: Rep. Patrick Kennedy’s car accident will not actually be investigated. [NYP]
• Rush & Molloy: Patrick Kennedy has reportedly “been yearning for the company of ex-girlfriend” Tatiana Platt. [NYDN]
• Liz Smith: McCain on Washington: “So much is going to come down, so many indictments… well, it’s all so corrupt,” and to Katie Couric: “Congratulations and condolences.” [NYP]
• Inside Politics: Sen. George Allen wins Young Republican National Federation straw poll. [WT]

* CIA Director Porter Goss called it quits this week, and didn’t make up a reason for leaving. Not even the standard “time with my family” excuse, which of course makes us think it had something to do with the hookers or the gambling and payola. Anyway, he’s back on the gulf shore already, and everyone is waiting to hear who the next shady character to take over the job is going to be. MORE »

* Ohh, this new blog is very shiny and has so many things to click! [Freeride] MORE »

It took a while for the court spokesperson to read through the long and complex special verdict form, but here’s the upshot: Zacarias Moussaoui will not be getting the death penalty. Instead, he’ll be spending the rest of his life in prison. MORE »

It’s anyone guess as to what the jury — which deliberated for a surprisingly long time — has decided. Should Zacarias Moussaoui be sentenced to death, given the heinousness of the 9/11 crimes? Or would that make him a martyr? Or is he insane? MORE »

Well, we’d hope so. MORE »

Zacarias Moussaoui has been found eligible for the death penalty. The trial will now move into the next phase, in which the jury will determine whether Moussaoui will actually receive the death penalty. The proceedings are scheduled to resume on Thursday. MORE »