And when you’re done with this, you can look at “Hitler finds out the ending of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince” and “Hitler finds out that USC beat Ohio State.” Are any of these things funny? Meh, who knows! At least they aren’t videos of Barney Frank complaining about the death of health care reform! [Hitler Finds Out Scott Brown Won Massachusetts Senate Seat]

Oh man you guys Robert Gibbs called Pat Robertson’s remarks about Haiti/Satan “utterly stupid!” WHAT AN ASSHOLE ROBERT GIBBS IS! Apologize to Pat Robertson and Satan right now! [YouTube]

Uhh, here’s some hippie with a camera supposedly yelling at George Bush Senior within the friendly environs of a neighborhood pizza joint, but do you actually see him anywhere in this video? Didn’t George Bush Senior die recently anyway? Oh nevermind, we’re thinking of Bob Dole. [HuffPo]

Sarah Palin made her highly anticipated debut as a news commentator on the teevee last night, DID YOU WATCH IT? No? Did you check the Fox News this morning and not watch the clip there, because it wanted you to install Flash Player 10, which breaks other parts of your Internets when you install it? Well then watch this clip here! And then watch the exciting Extended Director’s Cut after the jump. MORE »

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA: Harold Ford Junior, who voted for a constitutional ban on gay marriage while representing Tennessee in the House, is of course now an avid and lifetime supporter of both gay marriage AND civil unions, whatever that means? “I love you youze fags,” Ford told New York voters today. [Ben Smith]

Rudy Giuliani could have made a decent living as a Bette Midler impersonator, but instead he selflessly pursued a career as a ferret-faced political hack and failed presidential candidate. Today on Good Morning America he made the very trenchant observation that George W. Bush did not allow any domestic terrorist attacks during his presidency. This is completely true, if you disregard 9/11 and that anthrax thingy and also the shoe bomber, not to mention American Idol. [YouTube via TPM]

You wouldn’t think so, considering the politics back home in North Dakota (RED), but Byron Dorgan’s a pretty good senator! All you have to do to be considered a “pretty good senator” nowadays is have like three or four rad YouTubes, and he does, so huzzah. Here’s a famous one from the late ’90s when he was a lead voice against the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act, which passed anyway and essentially allowed opaque hedge funds to set up shop in-house at Citibank, Bank of America, and other major commercial banks, all of which proceeded to UM YEAH DEFAULT. MORE »

Michael Steele and his book teevee tour, boy howdy! Here’s another quote to archive: “But that’s what’s gotten us into trouble, when we walked away from principle. Our platform is one of the best political documents that’s been written in the last 25 years. Honest Injun on that.” LEAVE BOBBY JINDAL ALONE! (Second sentence is actually funnier.) [Media Matters]

Brit Hume is very concerned about Tiger Woods’s Values, which revolve around having sex with monsters — out of wedlock! He read on the Wikipedia that Woods is a Buddhist — a.k.a. El Salvadoro-Mexican quesadilla worship — and would like for the private golfer to convert to his beloved Christianity. Even Bill Kristol hears this and says, “Uhh… that’s great Brit, but anyway, about that golf tournament Tiger Woods might win later…” [Andrew Sullivan]

Never again will one simple man do so very much to the world. George W. Bush (and Dick Cheney), 2001-2009. [YouTube]

Say, which two flavors of protesters are so devoted to their causes that they’ve chased Obama all the way to his terrifying pineapple tundra, Hawaii, in the middle of this brutal winter? (Nope, no PUMAs — TSA still has of its shit together enough to crash that party.) On one side of the street you’ll find the dirty fucking anti-American gay hippies suggesting that Obama’s endless imperial warfare is “bad”; on the other you have the usual anti-abortion folk. So both groups are against death but probably don’t think the other’s death is really death-death. And Barack Obama plays golf. [YouTube]

WHERE TO EVEN BEGIN. So we’re going to begin to lose a full-scale underfunded, undermanned War on Yemen very soon. Probably around Martin Luther King Day; that should provide enough time to load the RV. But this is going to happen. This is America, remember? Of 9/11 fame? And a hilarious “War on Yemen” sounds just stupid enough for our government to do it. And Josephine Lieberman shall leadeth. MORE »

Beloved Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger was just doing whatever He does at the Vatican on Christmas Eve, when a mysterious Lady In Red just cold knocked his old Nazi ass to the floor, for like two seconds, no big, but of course it is Christmas Sacrilege to do this to this guy, the current pope and former Nazi and future Sinter Klaus. Fröhliche Weihnachten! MORE »