Wonkette

…And this unbelievable nugget comes from a Fox News reporter. That Sarah Palin thought Africa was a country, not a continent. God bless you, Carl Cameron, for promising an “avalanche” of Palin revelations that had been off-the-record until the election was over. She threw temper tantrums and was unmanageable. She didn’t prepare for her Couric interview. And did we mention that she thought Africa was a country, and not a continent? Wait until she hears about Australia: it’s both. [YouTube]

Crabby queen writer Gore Vidal, who is certainly older than you, appeared on the English telly after Obama’s clinch last night to discuss American politics with the Britons. Appropriately, he went insane for several minutes after asking and receiving permission to “talk the facts of life” with the BBC anchor. Whenever he is asked a mild follow-up question, Vidal barks that he has never heard of the terrible, lowly anchor who is harassing him. This clip is staggering. [YouTube]

“Alright, uh, there she is, Jessica Yellin, I know you’re in Chicago but we’ve uhhh done something, a hologram. We beamed you in. We beamed you in, here, uhh into the CNN Election Center. I want to talk to you as I would normally be talking to you if you were really face-to-face with me. I know you’re uhh at least a thousand miles away, but it looks like you’re right here. …You’re a hologram now, Jessica.” [YouTube]

Here’s jolly CNN anchor Rick Sanchez asking “Fast” Joe the Plumber a buncha questions he’s already been asked several times a day since he became the McCain campaign’s raison d’être. Talkin’ about taxes. Then, around 3:40, Sanchez abruptly lists every example of how Joe the Plumber is a lying fraud and a dick. He also makes fun of Joe for being poor on numerous occasions. MORE »

Beloved teevee channel Fox News is focused as shit today on race-baiting, terrorism, and pissing off left-wing blogs. It is a marvel. So we’ve compiled some of the morning’s most comical highlights here for your viewing pleasure. The best one is above, in which lobotomized Fox & Friends clown Steve Doocy sees some random black guy walk into a polling station and immediately assumes that this is Obama. Oh boy. MORE »

Here is motherfucking Eddie Murphy, live on stage in Washington a quarter century ago telling a crazy humor fiction NOT SAFE FOR WORK story about the First Black President. Thanks Coates! [YouTube]

Here’s an exciting video of Michelle and Barack Obama voting at their Chicago polling station for an actual century. Just cold goin’ down that ballot and pickin’ winners. Really, though, it’s just Michelle who takes so goddamn long; Barry finishes his ballot in normal human time, and then he and the children mock her for being weird. Clearly elitist Michelle Obama doesn’t understand how real ‘merkins vote: pick the president who has the most signs everywhere and then write-in “DONKEY SEX” for the remaining contests. [YouTube, The Page]

Do you still believe? Will you rise up, with fists? Let’s have a musical night of music posts, all chosen by your editor, for theme time election night hour. MORE »

For those of you at your very professional workplaces, here is the text of Sarah Palin’s latest verbal feat of derring-do: “What do they [The Liberals!] think? Do they think the terrorists have all the sudden become the good guys and changed their minds? No, the terrorists still seek to destroy America and her allies and all that it is that we stand for: freedom, tolerance, and equality. The terrorists have not changed their minds.” We at Wonkette do, in fact, believe that the terrorists have become the good guys. You can see Osama & Pals doing Habitat for Humanity work in the streets of any major American city. Planting new trees, picking up trash. Can’t anyone get a second chance, Sarah? [HuffPo]

Oh good lord. Maybe you all haven’t seen this, everywhere, and maybe that’s why hundreds of you send this to us, every hour, because you haven’t seen it, and yet you know about it, and have the YouTube link. Anyway, very funny! Did you know Sarah Palin is a gullible idiot? Yes? Well, here is more fun proof. [Justiciers.tv/YouTube]

This lady, she is just so mean, not giving candy to children who are in the tank. She is the meanest lady ever. What is wrong with this mean lady. [YouTube]