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Wonkette Pours One Out For Michael Hastings
Here’s a video of Michael Hastings, the reporter for Buzzfeed and Rolling Stone, who died in a car crash Tuesday, giving Piers Morgan the sort of dressing down that Piers Morgan so richly deserves on a daily basis. People who knew Hastings are mourning him, and people who didn’t are mostly wishing they had. Wonkette [...]
Louie Gohmert’s Desperate Found-Footage Plea: Stop Talking About Immigration!
Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Derp) is a special favorite of yr Wonkette. He makes us laugh, and his inspirational example reminds us that even the incredibly stupid have a shot at following their dreams. So we were just tickled to find this installment of Gohmert’s indie webseries “The Blair Wingnut Project” pixeling and garbling at us [...]
Here’s That Stupid Bad IRS ‘Star Trek’ Video That Wasted Enough Taxpayer Money to Fund 30 Seconds Of Iraq War
Here is that horrible video parodying the popular “Star Wars” television program, with IRS people playing bad versions of beloved characters like “Captain Kirk,” “Dr. Adama,” and “Ensign Wesley Chewbacca.” It was part of that lavish 2010 IRS conference that government officials are apologizing for and promising can never happen again because of new restrictions [...]
Happy Birthday, Dr. Jill Biden! How Will You Celebrate? Wow, Really?
Happy Birthday, Second Lady Jill Biden! You’re an accomplished educator (yay for you and high school English teachers* everywhere!), an advocate for community colleges and for military families, a Blue Star Mother, an advocate and fund-raiser for breast cancer research, and according to the Infallible Font of All Knowledge, your stint as an adjunct prof [...]
Megyn Kelly, U Mad? Oh Yeah, She Maaaaaaaad
We’ve been wondering what Megyn Kelly would have to say about Erick Erickson unaccountably getting the whole shaft for an entire panel’s worth of dickmouth about female breadwinners yesterday. Megyn Kelly is not stupid, nor is she a shrinking violet. While all the Fox “Democrat” ladies weighed in by last night, we were looking forward [...]
Florida Cops Choke Out Black Boy For Grave Crime Of Mad-Dogging Them
Sorry, Floridaters, but Miami-Dade coppers have now declared that “staring” at them, in a “dehumanizing” manner, is a total exigent circumstance (LAW!) that requires an immediate show of force and chokeholds. Tremaine McMillian, 14, was walking down the boardwalk HOLDING A PUPPY when he “resisted an officer” by, oh, hell, who even knows. These news [...]
All-Male Fox Panel On Female Breadwinners About What You Would Expect
Ladies, did you know that Fox News has finally admitted that there is a War on Women, and that War on Women is you having a job? Have you studied your science lately, which shows that Men must Dominate you? Most importantly, have you done your part in “dissolving society” today, by raising your children [...]
Brian Fischer Done Thinking About Boy Scouts’ Buttocks For Now, Has Thoughts On Ladies Instead
Do you live in one of the 40 percent of households that is headed by a broad? Well Brian Fischer of the American Patriarchy Association does not care if he is “politically incorrect,” he is gonna tell ya like it is, and that is that the heavenly FATHER, one certain Mr. Man-Type-Person GOD, set it [...]
Uh Oh Someone Is Politicizing The Tornado In Moore, Time To Get The Pitchforks
Sheldon Whitehouse, the senator from Rhode Island, went on a nice 15 minute tirade about climate change, but he accidentally forgot to tell James Inhofe to eat shit.
U.K. Has Its Own Elizabeth Warren, But She Yells At Google Instead Of Ben Bernanke (Video)
We here at Wonkette have a big melty spot (OUR HEART, PERVS) for ladies what yell at people. We are absolutely sure this has nothing to do with our upbringing, which as we recall was filled with gentle murmurings, hair ribbons, and warm pots of choc-o-late by the fire. There is Elizabeth Warren, first and [...]
Republicans Publicly Masturbate to BENGHAZIIIIIIII!!!! On Taxpayers’ Dime All Day
Happy BENGHAZIIII!!!!1! Day, everyone. At long last, it’s here — the day children wait for all year, trying to be good and leaving out cookies before they go to bed in the hopes that Republicans will come in the dead of night to bring them tax cuts and transvaginal ultrasounds and the headbanded head of [...]
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