Ha ha ha Luke Russert, NBC’s Official Young Persons Correspondent, apparently made a terrible slip this morning and said “the smartest kids in the state go [to UVA], so it’s leaning a little bit towards Obama,” which was a terrible insult to all the remedial readers at the University of Virginia who will also vote for Obama. Naturally, an apology was in order. MORE »

This morning, millions of sad, youthful Obama voters are waking up and wondering what the hell happened in Pennsylvania. Here’s the scoop, little ones: Pennsylvania’s elderly are so old that they make John McCain look young, and they’re so numerous that you’d think they were still capable of reproduction. In fact, the only state with more elderly residents is Florida, and at least those old people moved there. They want to be in Florida. Meanwhile, old people in Pennsylvania resemble the humble sea cucumber: sessile, rooted, a prisoner of the very earth that nourishes them. Naturally, these people vote for Hillary Clinton. MORE »

Typical Obama voter: young, clueless, chanting “Obama” because it’s easy to pronounce. The sad thing is this kid is probably a superdelegate. [YouTube]