young people

BUH-BYE  9:54 am November 15, 2012

Mitt Romney Drops By To Make Sure You Still Loathe Him

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Mitt Romney was lonely. A week after the election, and all anybody was laughing at was Karl Rove and Fox News and Dick Morris and Gallup, and people had kind of forgotten Mitt himself, the onetime standard-bearer of the GOP. Had he himself not shit the bed? Was he not the master of his own [...]

CULTURAL BANKRUPTCY  6:58 pm January 7, 2011

Young People Continue To Ruin America With Their Awful ‘Dancing’

by Riley Waggaman

Hello! Has Satan ever kidnapped you at knife-point and then imprisoned you in his favorite fire dungeon, where thousands of sweaty young people “grind” to auto-tuned fart sounds accompanied by predictable bass lines and recycled MTV mashup samples, for the rest of eternity? It doesn’t even matter really, since these apocalyptic sex rites are performed [...]

MATH AND NUMBERS  10:00 am July 24, 2008

by Sara K. Smith

OBAMA AND MCCAIN SPLIT THE ELECTORATE IN OBVIOUS AND PREDICTABLE WAYS: Oh Goodness This Just In! Younger people like Barack Obama, while older folks like John McCain; the black peoples favor the one while the white peoples favor the other. So, unless a big segment of voters plans on effecting a rapid change in age [...]

DEMOCRATS  4:15 pm June 10, 2008

Scarlett Johansson’s Sexy Emails With Obama!

by Sara K. Smith

If you are a political dork you have probably already read this informative article on how Scarlett Johansson has kept up a harmless email correspondence with Barack Obama. What you may not know is how involved she has been with campaign strategy — as evidenced in this exclusive video, where she compares Obama’s unlikely run [...]


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