Nutty old Maryland neo-Nazi coot James von Brunn hated the Liberals so much yesterday that some “new evidence” suggests he was going to go shoot up the offices of Bill Kristol’s Weekly Standard, later, because he hated neocons and Jews and Bill O’Reilly so much too. MORE »

Here’s some terrifying news: While the U.S. media was focused on the very important subject of some fat wingnuts having teabagging protests in America, President Barack Obama was headed to Mexico — and on the night of April 16, he attended a fancy dinner at Mexico City’s famous Museo Nacional de Antropología, where noted archeologist and museum director Felipe Solís Olguín showed the U.S. president around, and they presumably shook hands and talked, without the protection of surgical masks. A few days later, Solís was dead of pneumonia. MORE »

Not that we should put much faith in what Professional Auditors say, but a terrifying new report predicts that a fourth of America’s remaining publicly-traded companies may be gone by the end of the year. This means 3,600 shareholder-owned businesses are in “going concern” territory, or in serious danger of failure in the next 12 months — and this is just based on first-quarter reports, which are already up 9% vs. 2008 “going concern” filings, so, uhm. MORE »

We saw this about an hour ago and OMFG these people are actual dangerous insane freaks who should be rounded up and buried alive at the landfill. [CNN/YouTube]

Here’s a heartbreaking interview with a prisoner at Gitmo, about how the terrorist Hussein did a fascist thing to these seven weird ladies. COMMENTER CHALLENGE: Are you funny enough to avoid the really obvious, mean/tragic joke here and somehow transcend basic fat jokes? [YouTube via Hart88]

With the West Coast polls closed and Obama already holding 220, including Virginia … well, you can count, even if you’re very wasted right now. California has 55 electoral votes, Washington state has 11, Hawaii has 4, and Oregon has 7. You can add that to 220 electoral votes CNN says he has right now. We have a new president. His name is Barack Obama.

Good god, that is a gloomy scene at the McCain party in Phoenix. Two McCain top people have told CNN they see “no path to victory,” considering the situation. This might be an early concession speech. Or not, who knows? Maybe McCain will force Sarah Palin, at gunpoint, to crawl around on her knees in a bikini while he savagely beats her, like a pinata. This is the “Arizona Way,” after all. MORE »

Ha, Layne started writing about this WTOP column at the same time and posted first, but he didn’t even quote the foreboding last paragraph in full! This columnist, Mark Segraves, has done us the very kind favor of scaring us shitless: “As readers of this column will recall, I purchased a handgun the very first day the District began accepting applications for registering handguns. Because the law does not permit individuals from transporting unregistered handguns across state lines, my 38 Smith & Wesson sits in the back room of the gun store in Maryland where I bought it. Waiting for the day it can be legally shipped into the District. That day is getting closer.” Goo! Making fun of him is probably not the smartest thing to do, but martyrdom never comes easy. [WTOP]

Here’s a priceless video from Hutton Gibson, the conspiracy theory-obsessed, Holocaust-denying father of similarly insane Mel Gibson, endorsing who else but Ron Paul. The video opens and closes with stark images of the Holy Cross in the middle of a thunderstorm. Then Gibson, 84, and a “Jeopardy Champion” (go Josh!), says that “the only way we can save the country is to vote for Ron Paul. [3-second pause]. In 2008.” [YouTube]

John McCain’s always had a hearty arsenal of “cocktail party jokes,” including several about killing Iranian civilians with either bombs or exported American cancer, and another about Chelsea Clinton being ugly because her father is Janet Reno’s penis. These jokes, however, can’t shake a stick at the latest gem someone has unearthed from a 1986 copy of the Tucson Citizen, one that got him in a tit-bit of trouble at the time. After the jump: McCain’s crack about the gorilla who rapes and murders some gal in the street. MORE »

YIKES OBAMA JUST GOT 28,000 INDIANA VOTES. The mysterious “Lake County” just released 20% of its votes … and now the state total is Obama 49% v. Hillary 51%. We will keep updating this. Okay, the gap is now NINETEEN THOUSAND VOTES. All the remaining votes — most of them, at least, according to our Numbers King John CNN King — are in Gary. MORE »