Wonkette

It was early an Cocktober dawn when Larry Craig, the senior senator from the great state of Idaho, finally came to terms with the path that lay before him. “Wife, come hither,” he said to his wife, who tenuously approached carrying a plate of piping hot Super Tubers. “I have been rethinking my resignation from the Senate. I said I wouldst resign due to laws barring gay men from being Republican senators. But I am defiant, wife!” His wife, however, was busy setting up an eHarmony profile, and was oblivious to her husband, the courageous Larry Craig, when he uttered these historic words: “I am an American Gay.” MORE »

Former United States Attorney General Alberto Gonzales makes the perfect Vice Person of the Year, because he’ll always be someone’s bitch. His subservience to Bush presented itself through various Senate hearings, where even the most tabloidy of questions would spin him into the “I do not recall” zone. Did you authorize the firings of eight US Attorneys because they weren’t prosecuting the Demrats enough? I do not recall. Did you run to John Ashcroft’s bed that time to force his morphined ass into authorizing torturey goodness? I do not recall. Do you know that if you say “I do not recall” one more time, I’ll arbitrarily call you gay and make fun of you for being gay? I… do not recall. Haha, Alberto Gonzales is gay, he likes to kiss boys and stuff, don’t you Alberto? I do not recall.

At least that’s the best I can recall.

Just so Bill Kristol knows what he’s up against, check out the heartfelt feelings the New York Times editorial board had for George W. Bush in this morning’s year-ender:

Out of panic and ideology, President Bush squandered America’s position of moral and political leadership, swept aside international institutions and treaties, sullied America’s global image, and trampled on the constitutional pillars that have supported our democracy through the most terrifying and challenging times. These policies have fed the world’s anger and alienation and have not made any of us safer…. There is much more — so much that the next president will have a full agenda simply discovering all the wrongs that have been done and then righting them.

Ahem, wrong. 2007 was the year when Freedom continued to be on the march, when brown terrorists continued to hate Love. [NYT]

OK, Just realized that we only have the rest of the afternoon and Monday morning to blog in 2007! Time for some lists, I guess. First off, the poll for Wonkette’s Person and Vice Person of the Year will be open until 11 a.m. Monday morning, so vote! Now, however, as a special Friday afternoon treat, we’ll present you with the Top Five Most Prolific Commenters of 2007. All Year End Lists Must Be Capitalized, Because They Are Just That Important. Check It Out After the Best Jump of 2007. MORE »