Tag Archives: yale

  God's a great test-taker

Ben Carson Copied All God’s Answers On His College Chemistry Final

This is the face Ben Carson makes when he is worried about a test.
Know all that stuff about how presidential candidate Ben Carson is the Best Neurosurgeon Ever, and how he did the first successful operation to separate twins conjoined at the head? Well, he never would have done that if he hadn’t cheated OFF OUR LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS during one of his chemistry finals. Oh yeah. He’s that kinda guy. Carson admitted all of this at the National Day Of Prayer gathering Thursday, regaling the crowd with a tale about how, when he was at Yale, he thought he was “pretty hot stuff,” but then everything went wrong with this one chemistry final: Read more on Ben Carson Copied All God’s Answers On His College Chemistry Final…
  walking while a yale student

Black Yale Student, NYT Columnist’s Son, Pretty Obvious Criminal To Area Cops

Black men ARE allowed here
So which black men are the police in New Haven, Connecticut, pulling guns on today for walking around near the library of Yale University? Oh, probably only the ones who are thugs, and you can tell they are thugs because they are black, so it is pretty easy! On Saturday, Tahj Blow, a third-year Yale student, was walking from the library to his dorm when he was stopped by a police officer, who told Tahj to “turn around.” Then the cop raised his gun, and told Tahj to get on the ground. It was probably pretty obvious to the police officer that Tahj was a criminal, because of how black he was, and how the police were looking for a black guy who had allegedly committed a burglary at some point that week, and will you look at that, here’s a black guy. Huh! Read more on Black Yale Student, NYT Columnist’s Son, Pretty Obvious Criminal To Area Cops…
  One Angry Dwarf

Chuck C. Johnson In Middle Of Sexy Drowned Stewardess Hitler Fantasia

It may have been a holiday weekend, but the news never stops — and neither does sleazy reporting remora Chuck C. Johnson, who can always find a way to say something surreally horrifying about almost anything. Consider that missing AirAsia flight, for instance, which led Mr. Johnson to think with his Johnson: Read more on Chuck C. Johnson In Middle Of Sexy Drowned Stewardess Hitler Fantasia…
  Your Morning Maddow

Rachel Maddow Interviews America’s First Ebola Political Prisoner (Video)

Get ready to be angry, kids. Monday night, Rachel Maddow interviewed Ryan Boyko, a Yale PhD student in Public Health, who is one of about eight people put on quarantine by order of Connecticut Gov. Dannel P. Malloy. Not because Boyko has Ebola, and not because he has Ebola symptoms, and not even because he had contact with any Ebola patients. Read more on Rachel Maddow Interviews America’s First Ebola Political Prisoner (Video)…
  celebrity jeopardy

Washed-Up Has-Been Newt Gingrich Tired Of Famous-For-Nothing Hillary Clinton Getting So Much Attention

Normally, we rely on our sister site, HappyNiceTimePeople.com, to cover people who are famous for being famous. But every now and then, some no-talent celebrity decides to wade into politics, despite a complete lack of resume and credentials, and we are forced to mock them back to the realm of do-nothingness. Giant-headed moon enthusiast Newt Gingrich helpfully brought the latest sad sack wanna-be politician to our attention, per Raw Story: “First Lady, Senator, Secretary Clinton is very famous for being famous,” Gingrich opined. “And as long as she can continue to be famous, she will be famous.” Seriously, what has Hillary accomplished? No famous parents and not even one sex tape! Preach on, Newt. Preach on.  Read more on Washed-Up Has-Been Newt Gingrich Tired Of Famous-For-Nothing Hillary Clinton Getting So Much Attention…
  artisanal salt of the earth (only $65/lb from deluca's)

Ted Cruz, Humble Man Of The People, Refused To Study With Anyone From ‘The Lesser Ivies’

Ted Cruz is a man of the people, from humble roots. Just ask Sarah Palin, who knows a thing or two about selling herself as a simple down-home yokel (albeit with a greater degree of truthiness). Ted Cruz is on the side of ordinary Americans, because he is one of them, or at least has learned how to be photographed in the presence of ordinary Americans. Of course, he wasn’t always so willing to mingle with the unwashed. Read more on Ted Cruz, Humble Man Of The People, Refused To Study With Anyone From ‘The Lesser Ivies’…
  Our Cold Dead Hands

Today In Gun Fun Times: Should We Arm Our Precious Snowflake College Students?

Greetings Wonkeristas, and welcome back to our occasional tour through the dissipated, sand-blasted desert hellscape that is the hive mind of the all-guns-all-the-time Second Amendment fetishists. We would visit more often but this is a terrible place and everyone who lives in it is terrible. Let us talk about one of the terrible ideas for which these terrible people advocate and then sneer at it, as is our wont. When you read our story last week about sexual assaults — er, incidents of nonconsensual sex — on the campus of Yale, was your first thought that if only those assault victims had been armed, they could have stood their vaginas and fought off their attackers? S.E. “2 Girls 1” Cupp thought it, and not for the first time. Because there is no problem so grave it cannot be solved with arming people, apparently. Read more on Today In Gun Fun Times: Should We Arm Our Precious Snowflake College Students?…
  What's the matter with New Haven?

Yale Gets Medieval On Rapists With Written Reprimands And Sometimes Even Suspension

Yale, you seem like a lovely little college, with your charming brick buildings and all that ivy, and a student body filled with young eager minds who use “summer” as a verb and have collectively donated dozens of extracurricular hours teaching inner city youth how to yacht. Oh, and of course your ever-so-sensitive and tolerant policy toward rapists: The word “rape” does not factor into Yale’s new report on how the university is handling sexual misconduct; instead, the act is described as “nonconsensual sex,” and it’s usually punishable by “written reprimand.” […] Based on our analysis of the report, Yale has formally found sufficient evidence against six perpetrators of “nonconsensual sex” so far in 2013.* Of these six perpetrators, only one was suspended, and only for one year. Four received “written reprimands,” and one is on “probation.” To summarize: five out of these six perpetrators of rape will graduate with a slap on the wrist (and an Ivy League diploma!) or stay on campus, and the sixth can come back in a year. It is admirable that Yale — one of the most prestigious institutions of higher learning in the whole nation, a school that has matriculated such fine minds as George Dubya Bush — would refrain from using such a prejudicial and pedestrian word as “rape” to describe a violent sexual act that is done to a woman when she does not want it. These are complex situations, after all, and mere words cannot “fully capture the diversity and complexity of the circumstances associated with the complaints.” And we all know that violent assaults on women are never simple. Read more on Yale Gets Medieval On Rapists With Written Reprimands And Sometimes Even Suspension…
  egregious breaches of ethics

Justice Sonia Sotomayor Personally Selling Pepsi To Dying Fat Kids, Yalies Outraged

Now that the New York Times is done carrying water for the CIA, it has plenty of man-power to commit to other pressing matters, like how Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor is attending a conference for Yale alumnae, and there are — at minimum — two people who are kind of mad about it. PepsiCo is sponsoring a conference in April for women who attended Yale, and Justice Sonia Sotomayor, a graduate of Yale Law School, is scheduled to make remarks Ok… to the dismay of some alumni. Oh! Here is the conflict. Explain it to us, por favor: Read more on Justice Sonia Sotomayor Personally Selling Pepsi To Dying Fat Kids, Yalies Outraged…
  bobos in paradise lost

David Brooks To Teach Next Generation Of Elites To Be ‘Humble,’ At Yale

Yes, by virtue of his New York Times column and his occasional PBS appearances, David Brooks has been qualified to teach something. And — get this — it is a class in HUMILITY. Which will be taught to the children of the 1% at Yale.  Everything about this begs to be made fun of. Read more on David Brooks To Teach Next Generation Of Elites To Be ‘Humble,’ At Yale…
  new study proves it

Politicians Are Racist Against Blacks, Even ‘Republican Blacks’

Here’s an important news update for all the Alan Keyes and Clarence Thomas types who for some reason believe that acting like super-crazy white wingnut Republicans will magically win over white racists: Doesn’t work, never has, never will. White racists despise black people no matter what — and you’ll find the most unrepentant white racists running the Republican Party. Political scientists at Yale tested this obvious truth by sending emails from “a putatively black or white alias” and then tabulating how many black-sounding names got replies from legislators compared to the same email sent by a white-sounding name. Even self-described Republican constituents were ignored by Republican lawmakers when those constituents had stereotypically black names. And white politicians from both parties were more likely to ignore the “black e-mailers” than the “white e-mailers.” So, if you’re a person of color in this country, please keep planning that Total Revolution, because that’s the only (slim) chance at actual racial equality here in America. Read more on Politicians Are Racist Against Blacks, Even ‘Republican Blacks’…
  late-twenties rebellion

Half of George W. Bush’s Daughters Are Now Gay-Marriage Advocates

Hey look, it’s that daughter, the one who was the bottom. The other one always seemed to take more after her father; this one, after all, actually seems slightly interested in politics and not quite so much in booze. So not only is Barbara Bush in favor of socialist health care plots (wow, remember that post?), she is also in favor of gay marriage, even though her father bravely tried to defend against this immoral attack on Christendom (when he was up for re-election, that is). Great! Perhaps it would have helped to say these things when her family was relevant to the political agenda. Read more on Half of George W. Bush’s Daughters Are Now Gay-Marriage Advocates…
  the north face

College Students Get Parents To Buy Mitch Daniels Ad

Here is your first television ad of the Republican primaries! “Students for Daniels,” based at Yale, has bought airtime in southern Iowa during this weekend’s Pro Bowl for this ad about how Obama victimizes dumb blonde coeds looking for a wealthy older man. It would be a fool-proof plan to get Mitch Daniels elected, if anyone ever watched the Pro Bowl. Read more on College Students Get Parents To Buy Mitch Daniels Ad…
  christine didn't go 'anywhere'

Christine O’Donnell Releases Self-Parody ‘I Didn’t Go To Yale’ Video

Christine O’Donnell caused widespread panic and nearly crashed every stock market when she announced, “I’m YOU!” Everyone who heard this horrific claim immediately went to their local Walmart and bought fifty-pound sacks of rat poison and Crayola sparkle markers, so that their suicide notes would look pretty. However, after some serious fact-checking it turns out Christine is full of crap: she is not us and we are not her, hooray we almost killed ourselves! But Christine O’Donnell enjoyed scaring America so much that she decided to make another video, this time claiming, “I didn’t go to Yale (Divinity School).” That’s a mighty stupid way to start a political ad, but at least Christine is not bragging about having a multiple personality disorder, so maybe this video is an improvement? Read more on Christine O’Donnell Releases Self-Parody ‘I Didn’t Go To Yale’ Video…
  why does christine o'donnell hate every U.S. President?

Oxford Wannabe Christine O’Donnell Opposed To ‘Yale Values,’ On Twitter

While it’s true the Ivy League is nothing more than a sleepaway camp that churns out future war criminals, this is almost completely unrelated to the simple fact that Christine O’Donnell has absolutely no idea what she’s talking about in the above; she does not even have a vague, distant idea floating gracefully in a misty sea breeze. Oh and also, didn’t America’s 9/11 Hero President go to Yale, as well as his slightly more intelligent but not as heroic President-Dad? Read more on Oxford Wannabe Christine O’Donnell Opposed To ‘Yale Values,’ On Twitter…