Another lingering House race was finally settled today, when Connecticut Republican Rob Simmons conceded to Joe Courtney after a 2nd District recount gave it to the Dems by just 91 votes. Oh, and they both showed up for Orientation Week, which is kind of hilarious. MORE »

It’s time for another edition of “Stuff not quite filthy enough for a whole post, because you basically need to rape a baby live on C-SPAN to get a whole post this month.”

And we’ve got a Logo Winner, as you can see by the Logo. Thanks to Dan Milberg for the world’s angriest baby — you’d be angry if you were raped on C-SPAN, too!

Lots of congressional crime and even some hot abuse of the handicapped, after the jump.

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Our libertarian brothers and sisters represent something like four or five guys nationally (despite their ridiculously disproportionate Washington representation — don’t you guys know that if you lived anywhere else in the country you might get a congressman?), but their candidates can always be counted on to stir shit up. Today’s laissez-faire heroes: MORE »

• Congressman says Baghdad and Manhattan are twinsies, cites availability of goods on street corners and porno video stores as examples. [Think Progress]

• Rick Santorum continues to go after the “virgin vote,” appealing to their sensibilities by likening the Iraq war to Lord of the Rings. [Salon]
• John Boehner eulogizes PageFuckerGate, brandishes The Eternal Hammer of Tax Policy. [Hotline on Call]
• Gorby reiterates: they’re real, and they’re spectacular. [Goldenfiddle]
• Ain’t no Alabama Congressman gonna spend his time learnin’ bout no “mozlawms.” [Hullabaloo]
• Republican incumbent in Wyoming race sees lead slip to only 7 — actual voters, not percentage points. [Political Wire]
• Bill O’Reilly will make you hate yourself, one way or another. [Fishbowl DC]

• Reliable Source: Wives advise Bush to get diamonds for Laura to celebrate their upcoming anniversary. He replies, “Never mind! Sorry I asked!”. . . Nicole Kidman’s character is told to use a Farecard when riding the Metro. . . NPR’s Libby Lewis is assigned to cover Lewis Libby. [WP]
• Inside the Beltway: U.S. “nuclear SWAT team” is on call 24/7/365 to find and disarm any device. . . Cheney in Colorado: “They asked me today if I come here to fish, and I explained no, the fishing is better in Wyoming, which is noted by the presence of so many ‘greenies’ in Wyoming taking our fish.” [WT]
• Cindy Adams: Schwarzenegger is so furious at Bush that he is toying with switching parties. . . Judith Miller will not be returning to the Times. [NYP]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Lou Dobbs: “I’m wondering whether there’s such a thing as too much transparency.” [NYDN]