wtf
Akin Clarifies Clarification: Women Just Constantly Lie About Rape All The Time
Serial fact-raper Todd Akin (R-R’lyeh) has decided, what the hell, since he’s clarifying things, he might as well just clarify a little more. After telling Mike Huckabee that he’s definitely still running for the Senate, and after appearing to momentarily acknowledge biological facts, Akin has now doubled down on the crazy, insisting in an interview [...]
Florida Man Sad He Did Not Get To Finish Dinner After Shooting Black Man Unprovoked
In what we desperately hope is not a trend, another Florida idiot with a gun has shot someone in cold blood for the offense of coming to his door (although to be scrupulously accurate, the armed citizen in this case is not actually claiming a “Stand Your Ground” defense — yet). But unlike other unrelated [...]
George W. Bush Writing Alternate History Sci-Fi Book Where He Knows How To Run A Country
Way back when your Comics Curmudgeon went to D.C. to make sure George W. Bush wasn’t going to pull off a coup at the last second, he would have never believed that he’d ever say anything nice about the dude, but here we are three years later and here’s something nice: George W. Bush has, [...]
Well Someone Has To Fight the Scourge of Poor Kids Getting Free Meals
All Big Issues must necessarily have at least two sides, it’s in the Bible, et cetera. Okay, now then, who wants to take the “pro” side on child hunger? Anyone? Anyone? Oh good, we just spotted a hand shooting up in the back. Why it’s a Tennessee Republican, about to wave his arm free of [...]
Ron Paul Is (Briefly) the Winner of the Iowa Caucus!
Haha, what the hell is going on in Iowa? Ron Paul is winning right now, with 15% of the Iowa Caucus Pie Socials reporting, while the disgustingly frothy Santorum Surge has sprayed all over Mitt Romney’s $25,000 suit. (Don’t worry, Mitt has another dozen $25,000 suits in his limo, and more in the suite, and [...]
Comatose Dick Cheney Had Lengthy Dream That He Was Caligula
Sometimes there is a Cracker Jack™-style surprise waiting at the very bottom of another inane New York Times feature about the lifestyles and murderous rampages of America’s political leaders. And your beloved former Wonkette editor Jim Newell found just such a weird treat at the end of this bloodthirsty insanity about Dick Cheney bragging how [...]
Multimillionaire Investor Mitt Romney To Jobless Poor: ‘I’m Also Unemployed’
Human oddity Mitt Romney is one of the richest people in the world, with a fortune worth hundreds of millions of dollars. He is a businessman and investor and was born into a great deal of wealth that he has transformed into even more wealth, because the poor stay poor and the rich get rich. [...]
Weiner Photo Shocker: Weiner Confirms Photos of Weiner’s Underwear Exist!
Well now, this is getting … dumber? Let’s say “dumber.” From the NYT CityRoom blog: Mr. Weiner added, however, that he could not “say with certitude” if he was the person in the photo. In an interview broadcast later on CNN, Wolf Blitzer asked the congressman “if he had ever taken a picture like this [...]
Michelle Obama Survives Near-Fatal Near-Miss Airplane Non-Crash
The entire American world is freaking out right now, according to the home pages of every single American news source, because Michelle Obama was nearly killed in what is being shrugged off as a “landing mishap.” The plane carrying our FLOTUS was only three miles away from a military C-17 instead of the required five [...]
Senate Democrats Promise To Fight About the Budget ‘Next Time’
The Senate is expected to vote today on a bill that would extend funding for the federal government for two additional weeks while also cutting four billion clams from current spending levels. Senate Democrats are “conceding defeat this time,” but vow to say mean things about John Boehner before voting on a similar bill two [...]
George Allen Returns To Politics, Severed Deer Head Found In VA Family’s Yard
Hours before George Allen announced his return to politics in Virginia, the insane football-cradling horse-riding racist was apparently back to his foul old tricks. A family in Arlington discovered the severed head of a deer tossed in their backyard. While there is no definite proof George Allen made a midnight ride on his stupid borrowed [...]
Alaska Supreme Court: Joe Miller Is a Huge Loser
Break out your advent calendar and enjoy a delicious chocolate-covered Alaska Supreme Court ruling which states there “are no remaining issues raised by Miller that prevent this election from being certified.” Yay! Blow it out yer butt, Joe Miller, you hairy fraud. Joe will have two days to file “additional complaints,” but it’s unclear what [...]
Tea Party Guy Needs to Calm Down
LIBTARD MEDIA PEOPLE WHAZZZZUP!!!! This very enthusiastic salmon-colored shirt man is “John Villarreal,” a GOP activist/consultant/ready-to-explode kinda type and talk show host for Modesto, California’s KFIV AM. He talks like he is maybe/partly responsible somehow (?) for the sensational primary wins of Sharron Angle, Christine O’Donnell, and other Tea Party luminary-victors. Is he?
A Very Special Broadcast of the 2010 Weeping Eagle Awards!
It seems like only a week ago that America gathered around its iPad or whatever and watched the 2010 Weeping Eagle Awards, which were not actually broadcast. But now the awful heat wave is mostly over and the awards have been distributed and our nation is a richer, better country. And we’ve got the official [...]
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