Tag Archives: wtf

  nobody could have predicted

Louisiana Republicans On Federal Response To Hurricane Katrina: Thanks, Obama!!!1!

More Louisiana Republicans fingerpointblamegame Barack Obama for the feds’ poor response to Hurricane Katrina than fingerpointblamegame the actual president at the time, George W. Bush. We imagine this new and intriguing take on “facts” was first promoted by Eric Golub and Jim Hoft. Read more on Louisiana Republicans On Federal Response To Hurricane Katrina: Thanks, Obama!!!1!…
  police blotter

Slap-Happy Newspaper Publisher Just Can’t Stop Slapping People In The Face

Ahem: WestView News publisher George Capsis slapped a young man several times across his face during an 11:30 a.m. rally [for New York mayoral candidate Christine Quinn] at the base of St. Vincent’s Hospital, according to witnesses. Well, we are sure that happens all the time, right? Sadly, yes! Read more on Slap-Happy Newspaper Publisher Just Can’t Stop Slapping People In The Face…
  the mayor of simpleton

Anthony Weiner. Dude, What Is Up?

Dear Anthony Weiner, Sorry to be rappin’ at ya in the form of an open letter, as those are kind of whatever, lame, but considering what could happen if you actually had our contact information, we will just keep this in a nice public place. We say that because you are gross. Now. Anthony. Baby. Bubbeh. Are you okay? Do you need a cold compress for your forehead? Would you like to sit down? We ask because WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN GOING ON WITH YOU ARE YOU RUNNING FOR MAYOR OF CRAZYTOWN???!!! Why are you being super rude to very nice, earnest reporters? Why are you calling people Grandpa — like, in a mean way — at AARP forums? Why — with 10 percent in the polls, which is basically in the margin of error of ZERO PERCENT IN THE POLLS — ARE YOU STILL IN THIS FUCKING RACE? Read more on Anthony Weiner. Dude, What Is Up?…
  we won't ask so please don't tell

Happy Day! Latex And Marshmallow Fetishist Glenn Beck Comes Out In Favor Of Birth Control

The Internet has given us many wonderful things. Porn, obsessive coverage of the royal babby, ways to buy groceries without leaving the house, and, of course, porn, also, too. Downside: it ha also given us a chance to see some things we would never see, like a full-blown meltdown of a once-major news commenter. It is really sad about Brian Williams, isn’t it? Haha of course we are not talking about Brian Williams (he’s fine, we think?), we are talking about Glenn Beck because Jesus things are getting weird. For example: Beck’s stylish new birth control attire: Read more on Happy Day! Latex And Marshmallow Fetishist Glenn Beck Comes Out In Favor Of Birth Control…
  creature features

‘Manhattanhenge,’ The Ass End Of The Solar System, And An Actual Sarcasm Detector, All In This Week’s Sci-Blog

Welcome, Wonkeratti, to another bizarre and disturbing Wonkette Sci-Blog. Have another dose of Soma and come on in! Today and tomorrow there will be a unique astronomical event, visible only to the lucky residents and visitors of Manhattan Island in New York City, USA: “Manhattanhenge”! Manhattan’s streets are laid out in a right angled grid pattern and twice each year, the setting sun is positioned at such an angle that it shines directly down the grid. Anyone who’s ever seen this phenomenon knows how awe inspiring it is to see the city illuminated like this.  For a town  so lit up at night that almost all other astronomical events are washed out,“Manhattanhenge” is a nice compensation. Read more on ‘Manhattanhenge,’ The Ass End Of The Solar System, And An Actual Sarcasm Detector, All In This Week’s Sci-Blog…
  creature features

Everybody’s All-American Rocket, Head Transplants, And Cephalopod Cloaking Devices In This Week’s Sci-Blog

Hola Wonkeratti! It’s time once again for another terrible Wonkette Sci-Blog. Mix yourselves another drink and come on in! Today, in honor of this week’s American Independence Day  we’re paying  homage to skyrocket and All-American Success Story,  the Saturn V launch Vehicle. The “Moon Rocket” we all saw (well, some of us saw) launched from Cape Canaveral Florida in the late 60’s and early 70’s, the “Five” was the largest of NASA’s Saturn series of  multistage liquid fueled heavy lift rockets. 13 S-V’s were launched, from 1967 until 1973, carrying all of the Apollo Lunar project missions and lifting the Skylab manned research station to orbit. The Saturn V is the current record holder for the heaviest payload ever launched and remains the tallest, most powerful operational rocket ever made. Read more on Everybody’s All-American Rocket, Head Transplants, And Cephalopod Cloaking Devices In This Week’s Sci-Blog…
  creature features

Eight Million Scary Stories About The Briny Deep, All In This Week’s Sci-Blog!

Well Weirdos, it’s time once again for another appalling Wonkette Sci-Blog. Some Friday Science Nice-Time after a very busy, wondrous and infuriating week. So…How would you like to meet another one of my personal heroes, then? Dr. Sylvia A. Earle is one of the very few people who have genuinely earned the title “Living legend.”  Born in New Jersey in 1935 — in the middle of the worldwide Depression — she has a B.S. degree from Florida State University, M.S. and PhD. from Duke University, and 22 honorary degrees. Her research concerns marine ecosystems with special reference to exploration, conservation, and the development and use of new technologies for access and effective operations in the deep sea and other remote environments. Oceanographer, explorer, author of more than 190 scientific, technical, and popular publications, lecturer, a National Geographic Society Explorer-in-Residence from 1998, Chief Scientist at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration from 1990 to 1992. Earle has led more than a hundred expeditions, logged more than 7,000 hours underwater, set a record for solo diving to 1,000-meters. She is founder of Mission Blue and SEAlliance, and chair of the Advisory Councils of the Harte Research Institute and the Ocean in Google Earth. Dr. Earle is a committed Conservationist, definitely one of the Good Guys, holds around 20 national and international honors and is very active on the lecture circuit. I think that I’ll stop scrobbling now and just let her speak for the ocean. Here’s Sylvia Earle’s very eloquent plea for ocean Conservation at the 2009 TED award ceremony: Read more on Eight Million Scary Stories About The Briny Deep, All In This Week’s Sci-Blog!…
  they were all in love with dying they were doing it in texas

Texas State Rep. Jodie Laubenberg Breaks Glass Stupid Ceiling, Declares Rape Kit = Abortion

Have you had just about enough of ignorant GOP men saying incredibly stupid, clueless things about rape and abortion? Well so has Texas state Rep. Jodie Laubenberg (R-Shut It Down), who obviously decided it was time for GOP women to get in on the act. During debate over a bill that would close most of the state’s clinics that perform abortions, Laubenberg argued against an exemption for victims of rape and incest, dumbsplaining that such an exception isn’t needed, because “in the emergency room they have what’s called rape kits where a woman can get cleaned out,” she said, incorrectly comparing the procedure to collect physical evidence after a sexual assault to an abortion. “The woman had five months to make that decision, at this point we are looking at a baby that is very far along in its development.” Read more on Texas State Rep. Jodie Laubenberg Breaks Glass Stupid Ceiling, Declares Rape Kit = Abortion…
  creature features

Indistinguishable From Magic: Your Friday Sci-Blog On Saturday

Hola Wonkerados! It’s time once again for another bizarre and nauseating Wonkette Sci-Blog! Grab a Bag and come on in. Many of you will recognize the gentleman pictured as noted writer, inventor and futurist Arthur C. Clarke. One of the “Big Three” classical Science Fiction authors, along with Asimov and Heinlein, he’s most famous for collaborating with Stanley Kubrick on the incredible 1968 film  2001: A Space Odyssey.   He wrote prolifically  from the post World War two era up until his 2008 death, in his adopted country of Sri Lanka, at the age of 90.  Much of Clarke’s work reflected his optimistic view that science and technological progress could lift humanity out of superstitious darkness, though a utopian age of exploration of the seas and space, eventually evolving into beings like unto gods. Only maybe without the hubris, the cackling, and the insane plans for world domination, because this is Arthur C. Clarke. Read more on Indistinguishable From Magic: Your Friday Sci-Blog On Saturday…
  Stormy Weather

Creature Features: Your Late Afternoon Friday Morning Sci-Blog!

Yesterday morning, an ill wind came Blew your picture right out of the picture frame Even blew the candle out from underneath the flame Yesterday morning, an ill wind came – John Prine Hello Wonkeratti! It’s time once again to punish all of you with yet another appalling Wonkette Sci-Blog. You haven’t been especially naughty lately – we just enjoy upsetting you. We are seven days into what is looking like a very active Atlantic Hurricane season and  already there’s a tropical storm pummeling the East Coast of the U. S. The statistics for the 2013 tornado season are sobering: 478 tornados reported (131 verifed by the NWS), 44 deaths and 8 “killer” tornadoes. The EF-5 tornado outside El Reno, Oklahoma that killed Dr.Tim Samaras (one of the world’s most experienced tornado scientists) and his team was 2.6 miles wide,the widest ever recorded the widest ever recorded. The EF-5 storm that tore a swath of destruction through Moore, Oklahoma on May 20th killed 24 — this in a city that’s right in the center of Tornado Alley and knows tornadoes. The storm formed and moved so rapidly that residents had about 16 minutes warning. Dangerous weather isn’t restricted to the Midwest or the Coasts, though, as we saw with the 2010 Brooklyn tornado or the June 2012 Midwest to Mid-Atlantic Derecho storm that pummeled Washington D.C. While it’s not correct to link specific storms to Anthropogenic Climate Change, it has been established that increasing global temperatures make the incidence of severe weather more likely and the storms more dangerous. The answer is probably not “Let’s just do nothing.” Read more on Creature Features: Your Late Afternoon Friday Morning Sci-Blog!…
  when you see it you'll shit BRICs

Boston Police Anti-Terror Unit Too Busy Investigating Peaceniks To Notice Tsarnaev Kids

So there’s all sorts of weird stuff turning up about the background of Boston bomber guy Tamerlan Tsarnaev, like how Florida cops shot and killed a boxing friend of his the other day … after the friend implicated himself and Tsarnaev in a 2011 triple homicide and then pulled a knife on the cops. Oh, and that triple killing occurred on the tenth anniversary of 9/11, and at least two of the victims were Jewish, so it was muslimterrorjihad and not “killing pot dealers”? Frankly, we will not have any idea what to think about all that until Amanda Palmer writes a shitty poem about it. But it does at least seem clear that, as a DigBoston article suggests, the Boston Police Department’s anti-terrorism unit focused its attention on a whole bunch of things that had pretty much fuck-all to do with terrorism. And god knows, no one has ever suspected the BPD of being a hotbed of competence — this is the city that declared war on cartoon aliens in 2007, after all. On the other hand, if you’re an anti-terrorism squad, you probably should be investigating people who like bombs-n-stuff, rather than, say, “Veterans For Peace” or even Code Pink, no matter how loud and interrupty they might be. Read more on Boston Police Anti-Terror Unit Too Busy Investigating Peaceniks To Notice Tsarnaev Kids…
  creature features

Raging Volcanoes, Mustard Gas In Clams, Atmospheric Carbon, And 50 More Ways To Die, In This Week’s Sci-Blog!

Welcome, Wonkeratti! It’s time once again for another strange and disturbing Wonkette Sci-Blog. Take off your eyeshades, pull out your earplugs and throw away the cork. The happy man with the glass laboratory apparatus in the photo is Charles David Keeling, Professor of Oceanography at the Scripps Institution of Oceanography for 49 years. Born in Scranton, Pennsylvania, Keeling earned his chemistry degree in 1948 at the University of Illinois, got a PhD in chemistry from Northwestern University in 1954, did postdoctoral research in geochemistry at Caltech and joined the Scripps Institution of Oceanography in 1956. He was appointed as a Professor in 1968. He’s the scientist whose research established the steadily rising concentration of Carbon Dioxide in earth’s atmosphere from fossil fuel combustion, presented visually in one of the most famous graphs of all time: the Mauna Loa CO2 record, also known as the Keeling Curve. “Dave” Keeling’s famous graph might never have happened but for a random bit of serendipity. His original research project at Caltech in 1956 involved extracting Uranium from granite for the nuclear power industry and had nothing at all to do with the atmosphere. Keeling’s professor talked him into working on a side project, investigating and comparing the concentrations of carbonates in surface waters, limestone and atmospheric CO2. At the time the wet chemistry methods available to measure atmospheric carbon dioxide did not have the accuracy needed for the project, so Dave had to construct a very specialized instrument — a precision gas manometer, the first of its kind. Keeling began collecting air samples well away from any sources of carbon — cities, forests and farms — and found something interesting. The precision manometer consistently returned a value of 310 ppm for atmospheric carbon. Was this a stable background value, he thought and if so, just how stable was it? Around this time Keeling’s research came to the attention of Roger Revelle at Scripps Institution of Oceanography and Harry Wexler of the US Weather Bureau. They all worked out a global CO2 measurement program, using Weather Bureau funds with new infrared gas analyzer instruments. One of these was installed at the Weather Bureau’s brand new station on top of Mauna Loa, Hawaii — well up into the mid Troposphere and far away from any industrial carbon bias. It only took a year or two before they realized that atmospheric carbon was not constant but, in fact underwent a regular yearly cycle linked to the growth and decay of plants during the hemisphere’s growing season. Something else was odd about the data. The concentration of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere in 1958 was 1 ppm higher than in 1957. By 1960 the pattern of CO2 increase was significant, and Keeling published his groundbreaking paper The Concentration and Isotopic Abundance of Carbon Dioxide in the Atmosphere (pdf). This research, establishing anthropogenic carbon as a global warming agent, was cited by President Johnson’s Science Advisory Committee in 1965. Yes, that’s Nineteen Sixty Five. Read more on Raging Volcanoes, Mustard Gas In Clams, Atmospheric Carbon, And 50 More Ways To Die, In This Week’s Sci-Blog!…
  no man with a good car needs to be justified

Tennessee State Sen. Wreaks Horrific Revenge On Traffic Cam That Nabbed Him Speeding

You may recall how, back in April, Tennessee state Sen. Jon Lundberg bestowed upon himself a resolution declaring Tennessee state Sen. Jon Lundberg the kindest bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being in the history of EVER. This week, Sen. Lundberg, recognizing that he’ll never match his confrere Stacy Campfield in the sheer asshattery needed to win Wonkette’s coveted Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year Award, made a clever play for recognition in the still-prestigious subcategory of Outstanding Achievement in Vanity Legislation: He co-sponsored a bill to take down a traffic camera that issued him a speeding ticket in 2010. Take that, roadside robot tyrants! Read more on Tennessee State Sen. Wreaks Horrific Revenge On Traffic Cam That Nabbed Him Speeding…
  Cold Comfort Armed II: Electric Boogaloo

Suspect in Ricin Mailings Had Something Nasty In The Dojo

We would like to take a moment to thank the community of Tupelo, Mississippi, for giving us Elvis Presley, that strange Van Morrison song about honey, and now, all these years later, the chicken-fried braintrust of Paul Kevin Curtis and James Everett Dutschke. The only surprise about these gentlemen is that Curtis, the Elvis (and Kid Rock) impersonator who thinks he stumbled across a sinister organ-smuggling scheme in a Tupelo hospital — and sent crazy letters to people about it for years — turns out to be the saner, or at least less dangerous, of the two. Last week, Dutschke was arrested in the ricin mailings, and we found out some interesting facts about the two gentlemen. They shared a fondness for conspiracy theories and feuds on Facebook, for instance. We also now know that Dutschke is also an aficionado of ersatz music — he’s a Wayne Newton impersonator, for fuckssake. Oh, and yesterday, we learned that the FBI found traces of ricin in Dutschke’s martial arts business. Or as Raw Story put it, in a headline that may rival our favorite headline about pot, alligators, and a stripper pole, “Ricin found in dojo of man charged with attempting to frame Elvis impersonator.” Some days, we just love our job. Read more on Suspect in Ricin Mailings Had Something Nasty In The Dojo…
  creature features

You Give Me Dengue Fever, And More In This Week’s Very Tardy Sci-Blog!

Yeah, what he said.
Hey, Humans! It’s time once again for another weird and unsettling Wonkette Sci-Blog! We are able to take up this valuable retail real estate now because Ace Political Blogger and Mammalian Protuberance Enthusiast M. Joseph Sheppard has canceled out on us, and there has been an inordinate amount of revelry among the Editorial Staff this week. This unfortunate situation will certainly be corrected soon, when they are able focus well enough again to find the Editorial Banhammer (HINT: look inside the vodka spiked melon). Enjoy and be appalled while you can! Humanity has been at war with tropical diseases, well, since there has been a Humanity. The Earth’s Tropic zones have all the right characteristics of perfect factories for bacterial, viral and parasitic diseases: a year-round hot climate, periodic heavy rains, an abundance of rapidly reproducing mobile disease vectors and widespread natural reservoirs for disease causing organisms. Most of the more widespread and persistent diseases are the ones spread by Arthropod vectors. Mosquitos alone have arguably carried the disease which cause more human suffering worldwide than any other. Malaria and Yellow Fever alone virtually halted French construction of the Panama Canal 1889, after a loss of 22,000 lives. The disease list in itself is scary and reads like a catalog of horrors, not all of them from the past. Read more on You Give Me Dengue Fever, And More In This Week’s Very Tardy Sci-Blog!…
  creature features

When The Moon Is In The Seventh House And Io Aligns With Mars, Plus More In Your Weekly Sci-Blog!

The Author on the Edge of Forever
¡Hola! Humans. It’s time once again for another bizarre and disturbing Friday Science Blog. Eventually, this space will have to be turned over to paid advertising content, to help defray the cost of Doktor Zoom’s huge internet bill and growing collection of unorthodox My Little Pony Anime. Until then, we can all take a short wade into the Fount of Knowledge yet again. It was at the beginning of the Holocene epoch, after the glaciation disruptions and major extinction events of the Pleistocene. The huge Cave Lions and Saber-Toothed cats -the top predators of their age – were gone, along with Mammoths, Mastodons and Giant Sloths. The climate was moderate, glaciers had receded and there were ecological niches to fill. Somewhere on the Eurasian continent around 100,000 years ago something unusual happened. Canis lupis, the Grey Wolf, were the Apex predators of the new ecology. Wolves arose in the middle Pleistocene, a million years ago, and became one of the most widely distributed mammals by the end of the age. They were fast, strong cooperative pack hunters, successfully ranging throughout all the climatic zones of the new world. For reasons that aren’t fully known, Wolves decided to become partners with a fairly unspecialized naked ape that wandered out of Northern Africa. The partnership worked for both, and over thousands of years, Grey Wolves became Canis lupis familiaris, the remarkably diverse domestic dog, and Homo sapiens became Homo sapiens sapiens, the unquestioned top mammal and apex predator everywhere on the planet. How it was that two such dissimilar animals first began to communicate fascinates me. To become partners, there must be communication. While the true intelligence of wolves has yet to be quantified, they are undoubtedly sharp, adaptable problem solvers capable of learning from experience and remembering. You could say that communicating with wolves was humanity’s first encounter with an Alien. However, as Aliens go, Wolves are closer to us than you might think. Canis lupis and Homo sapiens sapiens are both mammals, tolerate and thrive in the same environments, live and hunt in cooperative extended family structures. Imagine trying to understand and communicate with an animal that has almost none of these things in common with us. An intelligent animal that is truly Alien. Read more on When The Moon Is In The Seventh House And Io Aligns With Mars, Plus More In Your Weekly Sci-Blog!…
  creature features

Wind Farms, Wetlands, And All The Tentacle Porn Your Weekly Sci-Blog Can Hold

Art for Art's Sake
Salutations, Sapients! Once again, through the miracle of careless scheduling we’re able to slip yet another strange and unsettling Sci-Blog in under the Editorial Radar. Eventually the Administration will realize the extent that this is Legitimate Sci-Bloggery and Shut the Whole Thing Down. Until then Enjoy, all of you Wonknerds! Ignore that disturbing image to your left for a bit and take a  look at this lovely panorama. What is it that you see? Your Nightmare Lawn? Acres of muck, bubbling with sulfur dioxide? An intractable flooded wilderness filled with bloodthirsty, disease ridden insects? An excellent place to leave the relatives? All true, but Salt Marshes are so much more than that. Read more on Wind Farms, Wetlands, And All The Tentacle Porn Your Weekly Sci-Blog Can Hold…
  creature features

Earth: It’s A Great Neighborhood Until The Vogons Need Their Bypass, And More In Your Weekly Sci-Blog!

In Science Valhalla, Isaac is Pleased and Heartened by your Curiosity and can see right down your shirt, ladies!
Hello, Hominids! Here we go with another ridiculous Sci Blog-in. It’s that time of the week once again (for reasons that remain mysterious) where we all talk about strange, complicated science stories, stare at gorgeous pictures of the Natural World, and recoil in horror at disgusting examples of animals that perfectly illustrate Nature’s marvelously weird sense of humor. LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION. Charming terrestrial world, 4.45 billion y.o. Conveniently located in the life zone of a dependable main sequence G2V star. Quiet neighborhood, Great views. Nitrogen-Oxygen atmosphere, good ozone layer, strong magnetic field. 7 oceans 7 continents. Great place to raise your carbon based life forms! Pets OK. This Earth of ours is just the perfect place for us to live, isn’t it? Its ozone layer protects us from UV radiation, the magnetic field keeps the solar wind from blowing the atmosphere away , there’s plenty of water and the temperatures are just about right. Of course, over the Earth’s 4.5 Billion year life it wasn’t always this way. At times the  weather outside was downright lethally Frightful. The early earth was a brutal place, what with the Iron Catastrophe, the Late heavy Bombardment and the (likely) Giant Impact with a Mars-sized object that melted the entire planet and peeled off enough of its crust into orbit to form the Moon. Read more on Earth: It’s A Great Neighborhood Until The Vogons Need Their Bypass, And More In Your Weekly Sci-Blog!…
  creature features

Hunky Dory Life On Mars: Your Weekly Sci-Blog!

Hello Mammals! It’s time once again, for reasons that no one can properly explain, that Your Wonkette presents yet  another fascinating, illuminating and disturbing Sci-Blog. Take off your pants and come on in! Expectations for the discovery of life on Mars have fallen over the hundreds of years that Humans have been observing the planet. H. G. Wells and Edgar Rice Burroughs imagined a dying desert world where advanced alien intelligences crafted massive geoengineering projects and plotted interplanetary invasion. After more powerful telescopes were developed in the ’40s and ’50s, we realized that Shaparelli’s Canali, popularized in Percival Lowell’s books, were optical illusions and Mars’s atmosphere was far thinner and more inhospitable than we thought. Read more on Hunky Dory Life On Mars: Your Weekly Sci-Blog!…
  creature features

We All Live In Autonomous Exploration Submarines: Your Weekly Sci-Blog

If your Brain Erection lasts for more than 4 hours, see a doctor.
Hello Wonkeratti! It’s time once again to expand your brains with Science, congest them with the lifeblood of learning and, finally, make them Turgid with Knowledge. Yes, it’s time once again to disrupt the normal flow of Wonkette’s daily Festival of Perfect Snark and Rudeness with these disturbing and bizarre Sci-Blog links. There seems to be an audience here for this sort of thing, though and we love you for it. The lengths that The Administration will go to please you Nerds never ceases to amaze me. It’s not every day that the Human Race discovers an ocean. In 1513, Balboa took credit for “Discovering” what the indigenous isthmus tribes people told him was The South Sea (Magellan gave it the darkly amusing name “Mar Pacifico” in 1521, because he happened to catch it on a good day).  These days, with orbital satellite mapping, we know the Earth’s ocean surface down to the square meter, can track all the currents and storm systems and determine the height of waves with radar. The last time we know for sure that an Ocean was discovered was actually in 2011 and it is in a truly remarkable place: under the ice of Europa, the sixth most distant moon of Jupiter. The concept of liquid subsurface water in the Gas Giant Satellites was first theorized by John S. Lewis in 1971, in his paper Satellites of the Outer Planets: Their Physical and Chemical Nature. In 1979, the NASA Voyager 2 probe provided photographic clues of the moon’s ice sheet. In 2002, the Galileo Europa Mission probe looped through the Jovian system for over a year, sending vast amounts of photos and data Earthward. Scientists analyzing the probes data for years finally found definitive proof of a subsurface ocean in 2011. Additional data gathered through ground based instruments tells us that the ocean exists 100 kilometers deep in Europa’s Ice and covers the entire globe. We thought that we could have no direct knowledge of the composition of this new ocean beneath the ice. It could be a warm, salty haven for possible life or a poisonous liquid desert.  Aside from future plans for probes that would drill through the icecap to release an autonomous exploration submarine, we had no way to acquire such direct knowledge. Until now. Read more on We All Live In Autonomous Exploration Submarines: Your Weekly Sci-Blog…
  creature features

Sea Slug Penises, Tentacle Porn, And Other Terrible Sci-Blog Things

I am Not an Alien!
Hi there, Wonkeratti! We Interrupt your Normal Programing for another weekly excursion into – Science! It’s highly likely that Your Estimable Editrix will see the error of her ways fairly soon and we will return to your Regularly Scheduled Rude Snark, Wife Beating, Troll Harpooning and Diplomacy. Please stand by. So, what is it that you all know about the Sun? You know it’s the closest Star to Earth –  nominally 93 million miles away – and it provides a nicely constant, predictable flow of light and warmth and makes almost all life here possible? And that it’s a middle aged, calm, comfortably Main-Sequence spectral class G2 hydrogen furnace that’s the center point of our solar system right? Well, no matter what you may know, it’s easy to forget exactly how much more complex and remarkable than a simple ball of fire Old Sol is. What you need to do is look closely, with the right kind of specially shielded eyes, and you will see utterly astounding things. Look, and you begin to realize just what kind of a magnificent and almost living entity we live next to:  a practically perfect sphere of incandescent plasma, convection cells, spikes and flares interwoven with incredibly strong magnetic fields, where impossibly violent, extremely incongruous events happen as a matter of course. For instance – did you know that it rains on the Sun? Oh, but not any kind of rain you’ve ever imagined. Watch what happens when a medium sized solar flare interacts with one of the vast looping magnetic field structures in the solar atmosphere. Behold the Plasma Rain on the Sun, in all its Magnetohydronamically Driven Glory. Video courtesy NASA’s Goddard Spaceflight Center. Read more on Sea Slug Penises, Tentacle Porn, And Other Terrible Sci-Blog Things…