Here’s some guy, “Ben Konop,” running for something in Toledo, we don’t know what. Maybe high school president? Sure, let’s say “Toledo High School President.” Or mayor, whatever, there cannot be that many things to run for, in Toledo. Anyway, congratulations to the world’s sleepiest heckler, for still weirdly ruining this young man’s press event. [Justin Billau via Matt Welch]

From: vernon___@rocketmail.com
To: “ken@wonkette.com”
Date: Thu, Sep 10, 2009 at 4:00 PM
Subject: Fuck all You Asshole at Fox

You mutherfuckers are something else, I hope your organization crumbles. Your a racist organization, and if you work for Fox Then Fuck you & your family

What is this? WHAT IS THIS? Oh, right, it’s this … which is no explanation at all. MORE »

Somebody take this Senator Jim DeMint and give him a lifetime appointment, because he is a national treasure. He is a Poet of Words. And for every sane thing he says — he does say some sane things, occasionally! — he says something sort of astonishing. Witness his latest interview with a South Carolina newspaper. MORE »

You know how many fun things there are to do in Iraq these days? Not so many! It used to be that, if you were a man, you could just chill out in public cafes and smoke your hookahs with other mustachioed dudes while you awaited the next random suicide bombing. But now the Iraqi cabinet is putting a stop to that nonsense — the smoking nonsense, anyhow. MORE »

What is this? It’s the tragic result of 5,000 White House photographers with old-fashioned “click-y cameras” taking 5,000,000 pictures of the president and vice president (both in shirtsleeves) and the stars of the new Cambridge reality teevee show, No Motherfucker You Cannot Arrest Me In My Fucking House I Am a Harvard Professor …. Oh So Just Step Outside For a Moment? MORE »

Well, this is highly unsatisfying. We wanted to hear that Sarah Palin was one of the handful of lovelies with whom Mark Sanford “crossed the line” after a steamy meetup at the make-your-own-omelette buffet at some Republican Governors’ conference, but no. While we wait for shoes to drop and “real journalists” to do whatever they’re doing, up there in Juneau and Anchorage, the only reason anybody can come up with why Sarah Palin quit her job was that she was sick of all the ethics complaints being filed against her. MORE »

Watching this weirdly edited video clip makes us feel like we just downed a coffee mug full of Liquid Vicodin, but perhaps you people will get something deeper, or maybe your heads will explode, just like poor Al Franken’s … or, Senator Al Franken’s head, right? [The Connecticut Forum]

What in holy Hell has Mark Sanford been up to? He did NOT go nude tree-humping with a bunch of federally funded nature queers on the Appalachian Trail this weekend; instead, he went to Buenos Aires. Anybody who has left the house thinking they’d like to go on a local nature hike and ended up spending the weekend in an exotic South American capital can agree that this is a perfectly normal switcheroo! MORE »

America’s favorite hair trap, Rod Blagojevich, appeared in a Second City comedy show on Saturday and made everybody deeply uncomfortable by either not getting the joke or getting it too much. “Everyone in the place was wondering the same thing: How could he sit there and watch himself depicted in this way? To sit sportingly through a fictional satirical critique is one thing; but in this case the material came from a federal indictment. Making ample use of tape.” Rod Blagojevich is the greatest performance artist in America since Karen Finley. [Chicago Tribune]

WIN OF THE AFTERNOON: In some post about something or other, a potential human called “Bill” tapped out a comment so weird and confusing that we cannot figure out if he’s a libtard or a wingnut or what! Of course he thinks Wonkette is a “she,” which is pretty normal for these drive-bys, but he gets the Invisible Trophy anyway, because he drove the conversation, off a four-foot cliff, into a cat box. MORE »