Watching this weirdly edited video clip makes us feel like we just downed a coffee mug full of Liquid Vicodin, but perhaps you people will get something deeper, or maybe your heads will explode, just like poor Al Franken’s … or, Senator Al Franken’s head, right? [The Connecticut Forum]

What in holy Hell has Mark Sanford been up to? He did NOT go nude tree-humping with a bunch of federally funded nature queers on the Appalachian Trail this weekend; instead, he went to Buenos Aires. Anybody who has left the house thinking they’d like to go on a local nature hike and ended up spending the weekend in an exotic South American capital can agree that this is a perfectly normal switcheroo! MORE »

America’s favorite hair trap, Rod Blagojevich, appeared in a Second City comedy show on Saturday and made everybody deeply uncomfortable by either not getting the joke or getting it too much. “Everyone in the place was wondering the same thing: How could he sit there and watch himself depicted in this way? To sit sportingly through a fictional satirical critique is one thing; but in this case the material came from a federal indictment. Making ample use of tape.” Rod Blagojevich is the greatest performance artist in America since Karen Finley. [Chicago Tribune]

WIN OF THE AFTERNOON: In some post about something or other, a potential human called “Bill” tapped out a comment so weird and confusing that we cannot figure out if he’s a libtard or a wingnut or what! Of course he thinks Wonkette is a “she,” which is pretty normal for these drive-bys, but he gets the Invisible Trophy anyway, because he drove the conversation, off a four-foot cliff, into a cat box. MORE »

Oh here’s a nice response to Barack Obama’s “Ich bin ein Muslin” talky-talk in Egypt: “The first 15 minutes of President Obama’s speech to the Muslim world was what I wanted to hear from candidate Obama a year ago. Had he given that portion of his speech during the presidential campaign much of the irrational fear of Obama as some sort of Muslim Manchurian candidate would have been relieved …. This was one of President Obama’s more important speeches and he rose to the occasion and delivered a fine speech.” And this was posted at, uhm, RedState What? MORE »

There is a crazy bald dude on CNBC, and he is going super-double crazy. And here, introducing this CNBC clip of insanity, is a guy in California who is … driving and doing a YouTube video at the same time, about how Californians will soon be sent to Concentration Camps. So, pack a suitcase and drive around! Let’s see some more of this wacky CNBC weirdo, Jeff Macke. MORE »

If there’s two things our president loves, it’s detention camps and torture. So, obviously, he just used the whole “I will shut down that terrible den of Cuban shame” line to get into office, knowing that once he got in he would stop at nothing to open a thousand Guantanamos all over the Atlantic. We hear this speech he’s about to give, allegedly “explaining” his recent “decisions,” is really going to be one of these namby-pamby “on the one hand, but on the other hand” type deals that he loves so much. Let’s WATCH and LEARN. MORE »

• IT’S ALL STARTING, RIGHT NOW: A grassroots movement is afoot…

Here’s some terrifying news: While the U.S. media was focused on the very important subject of some fat wingnuts having teabagging protests in America, President Barack Obama was headed to Mexico — and on the night of April 16, he attended a fancy dinner at Mexico City’s famous Museo Nacional de Antropología, where noted archeologist and museum director Felipe Solís Olguín showed the U.S. president around, and they presumably shook hands and talked, without the protection of surgical masks. A few days later, Solís was dead of pneumonia. MORE »

It’s another new new unemployment record, America! The happy month of March saw 669,000 U.S. jobs vanish, bringing the jobless rate up to 8.5% — the highest since the end of Reagan’s Lil’ Depression at the end of 1982. About 5 million jobs have now been lost in this current Great Recession. And stocks are on fire — the Dow’s over 8,000 again! MORE »

Oh hot dang, somebody got ahold of an old-fashioned talky device called a “telephone” and called the mayor of the fancifully named Dallas, Georgia to learn what he meant when he posted something on Facebook about Obama giving Gordon Brown “a quart of the Bull.” Was this horrible racism? And does it mean that your editor is hopelessly old and naive that the first thing she thought of when she heard “the Bull” was Red Bull? MORE »