Wonkette

Need a new Internet Slogan now that all your other old, worn-out slogans were used up by Weezer or immigrants? Here is one for you, only a day old and still pretty much used up like Krusty’s porn: I am aware of all Internet Traditions. What the hell? We will tell you, and you’ll feel dumber for it. MORE »

BARRY OBAMA’S RACIST POETRY: “Under water grottos, caverns/ Filled with apes/ That eat figs./ Stepping on the figs/ That the apes/ Eat, they crunch./ The apes howl, bare/ Their fangs, dance,/ Tumble in the/ Rushing water,/ Musty, wet pelts/ Glistening in the blue.” [SF Gate]

“Under water grottos, caverns/ Filled with apes/ That eat figs./ Stepping on the figs/ That the apes/ Eat, they crunch./ The apes howl, bare/ Their fangs, dance,/ Tumble in the/ Rushing water,/ Musty, wet pelts/ Glistening in the blue.” [SF Gate]

Here is a nice image of Barry Obama playing half-naked in a filthy industrial river with his pet unicorn, Mr. Pantsy, and shooting Bitter Roses out of his wide-angle crotch. Lucas Ketner’s terrifying painting accompanies a Barry endorsement from Oregon’s Willamette Week, which is actually edited by Mr. Pantsy. [Willamette Week via Slog]

What makes a truly great Email of the Day? Well, it sure helps to make no direct reference to whatever the hell you’re complaining about, and make sure to only use ALL CAPS, and say a bunch of crazy bullshit, and then finish up by calling everybody else demented. “Maria B.” did all this and more …. MORE »

Gah! Press e-mails have rarely been this good, and for that we will do specifically what Inside Edition wants us to do: Please watch Inside Edition’s exclusive footage of Obama’s terrorist “mosques” (HOUSES) in Indonesia where he lived from age 6- 10, Monday, May 5 and Tuesday, May 6, 2008, check your local listings. If that doesn’t get you giddy, then this teaser surely will: “Madewa tells INSIDE EDITION that Obama enjoyed playing Monopoly and was very competitive at the game. He also tells INSIDE EDITION that Obama was an avid kite flyer.” Was Madewa like his Muslim slave or something? MORE »

Ahem: “…There were two stars that were highlighted by the comet’s passage, Mirfak, and Algol. Mirfak is the elbow of Perseus’s sword hand. Algol, Medussa’a eye, has long been seen as one of the most malifec and evil stars in the heavens.