Dennis Kucinich was this close to winning both the nomination and the presidency when Rupert Murdoch’s evil new Wall Street Journal brazenly brought up that whole UFO incident, which everybody had completely forgotten because it was only a widely reported and heavily mocked part of a nationally televised Democrat debate a few months ago. MORE »

The Wall Street Journal has kindly made its end-of-year News Quiz available even to you, the person without a WSJ account because it’s not like you’ve got stocks or whatever. This is a way for the Big Money people to reward you for taking an interest in national and world affairs, despite your unenviable position on the Wealth Ladder. MORE »

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Proving that everyone is allowed at least one redeeming quality, we quote a Wall Street Journal letter to the editor written by Robert Bork:

What counts in mixology is the “original understanding” of the martini’s essence by those who first consumed it. The essence remains unaltered but allows proportions to evolve as circumstances change. Mr. Felten’s “near-perfect martini” is the same in principle as the “original-understanding martini” and therefore its legitimate descendant. Such latter-day travesties as the chocolate martini and the raspberry martini, on the other hand, are the work of activist bartenders.

Hear, hear. (Oyez, Oyez?) To this we’d like to add that the “wacky” or “funky” martini glass (without a stem, with a glass ball instead of a stem, anything featured in a Bombay Sapphire ad) is a consequence of attempting to legislate from the bar, opportunistically insisting on the existence of a “penumbra” around the martini glass. This allows for interpretations far beyond those intended by the Founding Fathers.

Bork’s full letter after the jump.

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