Tag Archives: wsj

  sneaky sneaky

HEY IF YOU WANT TO READ THAT SARAH PALIN EXCERPT COLLECTION THAT THE WSJ TOOK DOWN… Then one thing you can do, if you’re fancy, is subscribe to the WSJ’s Washington Wire RSS Feed for your Google Reader or whatever, and the article should still be there in full. We were considering just posting the whole thing as screen grabs, but who wants to get sued? [WSJ Washington Wire] Read more on …
  peggy's world

Writer of Vague Feel-Good GOP Propaganda Upset By Confusing Facts

What is troubling our Upper East Side princess of wordsmithery on this fine Friday? Health care! Not the lack of it, of course — Peggy could give a crap about the 40 million Americans with no access to basic health care, the kind of wretched untouchables who never see a doctor outside of an emergency room, with a sick child, swollen with some easily preventable illness had only a pediatrician been something within economic reach. Peggy isn’t impressed by this liberal president already delivering government-backed health care for another 3.5m uninsured kids, either. What she wants, this wealthy Wall Street Journal columnist, is some soaring bullshit rhetoric about health care, on her teevee. Worked for Reagan! Read more on Writer of Vague Feel-Good GOP Propaganda Upset By Confusing Facts…
  journamalism

George Will Just Rehashed WSJ Anti-Denim Op-Ed

Regarding George Will’s anti-blue jeans column of today, the Wall Street Journal had a much funnier “denim sucks” column, by your editor’s actual relative-by-marriage Daniel Akst, three weeks ago. DO NOT CLAIM YOU DON’T READ THE WSJ, GEORGE. Dan’s column is also far less elitist than Bow-tie George’s thing, because instead of Will’s example of regular American activity — playing golf, natch — Akst’s “you don’t need dungarees for that” example is “people who spend most of their waking hours punching keys instead of cows.” And then he goes in for the kill with “It looks bad on almost everyone who isn’t thin, yet has somehow made itself the unofficial uniform of the fattest people in the world.” [Wall Street Journal] Read more on George Will Just Rehashed WSJ Anti-Denim Op-Ed…
  never forget

Peggy Noonan So Happy George W. Bush Prevented 9/11

Every day is Good Friday in the Wall Street Journal, because Friday is Peggy’s Day, and this week her wonderful Declaration is right there in the headline, “At Least Bush Kept Us Safe.” Wait, what? Let’s just ask the old Internets here and double-check, because it is so hard to remember, say, when TERRORISTS BLEW UP MOTHERFUCKING MANHATTAN, WITH JETS, WHICH RUINED EVERYTHING FOREVER. Read more on Peggy Noonan So Happy George W. Bush Prevented 9/11…
  endorsements

Peggy Noonan Is Barack Obama’s #1 Fan

We’ve had a wonderful year with our favorite columns-writer-of, Peggy Noonan — maybe because, in our hearts, we knew this day was coming, this declaration to end all declarations. And here, today, we have our reward, our moment of grace. As usual, as always, our Peggy doesn’t bother with tired old introductions and such — this is, after all, a woman who burst into Bloomingdale’s and demanded pen and paper, one day, when she chanced upon a Mexican. Instead, she drops the bomb we always expected, like this: “The case for Barack Obama, in broad strokes:” And then she makes her case, which contains the most delightfully cruel assessment of John McCain’s delusional character we’ve even encountered. Read more on Peggy Noonan Is Barack Obama’s #1 Fan…
  gay wingnut fantasies

George W. Bush Is Exactly Like Batman

Have you seen the new movie about The Batman? If so, you know what everybody is talking about: How dead Heath Ledger is super awesome as the crazy-ass Joker terrorist. How the idiot George W. Bush is exactly like the heroic Englishman, The Batman. “There seems to me no question that the Batman film The Dark Knight, currently breaking every box office record in history, is at some level a paean of praise to the fortitude and moral courage that has been shown by George W. Bush in this time of terror and war,” writes some dingbat on the Wall Street Journal op-ed page today. Yep, no question at all. [Wall Street Journal] Read more on George W. Bush Is Exactly Like Batman…
  peggy's world

Two Americas: Peggy Noonan Sees Old People

Our girlfriend Peggy Noonan has been more enjoyable than usual this year, as a tragically drawn-out Democratic primary battle provided her with endless opportunities to touch herself while Barack Obama spoke pretty things, and to then guiltily wash her hands and realize that Obama was, in fact, the Democrat and not Ronald Reagan and, indeed, kind of “multicultural,” if you get our drift. But all that tortured eloquence has vanished from Peggy’s column, because the oxycontin/vodka cocktail hit hard as soon as she finished typing the relatively sane setup of today’s “Declarations.” Read more on Two Americas: Peggy Noonan Sees Old People…
 

Peggy Noonan Hates Republicans, Hearts Obama

Even more bad news for Republicans and John McCain today, courtesy of Reagan Revolutionary Peggy Noonan: Everybody loves Obama and hates the GOP, the end. Ha, not really. Peggy has a whole column to write, so she needs to explain exactly how badly the Republican Party will be stomped by the Democrats in November, even in slave states like Mississippi, where only Trent Lott’s family can legally vote. Let’s see what kind of weird new words and phrases Peggy makes up this week, after the jump. Read more on Peggy Noonan Hates Republicans, Hearts Obama…
 

Our Hero Peggy Noonan Writes World’s Best Political Column

Ever since Reagan-era propagandist Peggy Noonan started reading Wonkette this month, we’ve all noticed a spring in her step and a bee in her brain. Peggy is back, and people have taken notice. According to an anonymous “liberal journalist” who tipped William Powers at the National Journal, Noonan now has “the best political column these days, by far.” Congratulations, Peggy! You are our shining city on a hill. [National Journal] Read more on Our Hero Peggy Noonan Writes World’s Best Political Column…
 

Our Hero Peggy Noonan Praises Wonkette

It’s not every day that Ronald Reagan’s favorite speechwriter admits she not only reads Wonkette, but laughs at it. So we were very pleased this morning to see that Peggy Noonan, our nation’s most beloved newspaper columnist since 1911, mentioned our New Hampshire coverage and a particularly Victorian bit of high-minded satire we dropped along the way: Read more on Our Hero Peggy Noonan Praises Wonkette…
 

Murdoch-WSJ Hit Piece Destroys Kucinich Presidency

Dennis Kucinich was this close to winning both the nomination and the presidency when Rupert Murdoch’s evil new Wall Street Journal brazenly brought up that whole UFO incident, which everybody had completely forgotten because it was only a widely reported and heavily mocked part of a nationally televised Democrat debate a few months ago. Read more on Murdoch-WSJ Hit Piece Destroys Kucinich Presidency…
 

Special Time-Wasting 2006 News Quiz!

The Wall Street Journal has kindly made its end-of-year News Quiz available even to you, the person without a WSJ account because it’s not like you’ve got stocks or whatever. This is a way for the Big Money people to reward you for taking an interest in national and world affairs, despite your unenviable position on the Wealth Ladder. Read more on Special Time-Wasting 2006 News Quiz!…
 

Beats Workin’

Today’s WSJ has an article titled “CEOs That Rock.” We’ve retitled it “5 Reasons To Stay Away from Boomer Men, And That Includes Your Father.” 1.) The garage bands of the mid-1970s have moved into boardrooms, some of which are now filled with people who as kids dreamed of being the next Hendrix, Page or Townshend — and who today still have the same dreams. Read more on Beats Workin’…
 

Activist Bartenders

Proving that everyone is allowed at least one redeeming quality, we quote a Wall Street Journal letter to the editor written by Robert Bork: What counts in mixology is the “original understanding” of the martini’s essence by those who first consumed it. The essence remains unaltered but allows proportions to evolve as circumstances change. Mr. Felten’s “near-perfect martini” is the same in principle as the “original-understanding martini” and therefore its legitimate descendant. Such latter-day travesties as the chocolate martini and the raspberry martini, on the other hand, are the work of activist bartenders. Hear, hear. (Oyez, Oyez?) To this we’d like to add that the “wacky” or “funky” martini glass (without a stem, with a glass ball instead of a stem, anything featured in a Bombay Sapphire ad) is a consequence of attempting to legislate from the bar, opportunistically insisting on the existence of a “penumbra” around the martini glass. This allows for interpretations far beyond those intended by the Founding Fathers. Bork’s full letter after the jump. Read more on Activist Bartenders…