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Meet Tom Perkins. He is an uber-gazillionaire tech dude who once killed a man with his yacht. But that’s just an interesting footnote to his biography. See, Tom Perkins is apparently hiding in an attic in San Francisco just like Anne Frank, where he was somehow able to smuggle out this secret diary entry to […]

Hey, Serious Journamalists, are you looking for a new challenge? Maybe you’ve done your embedded time in the Iraq or the Afghanistan, and you’ve done your fair share of reporting on blowed up limbs and now you’re like, meh, how can I really push the limits of my reporting skills? Well, polish off that résumé […]

Hedge fund manager Andy Kessler has figured out the true cause of homelessness: people lose everything and live on the streets because interfering do-gooders provide all those sweet cots and delicious soup-kitchen meals, and if people really wanted to help the homeless, they’d stop wasting their time volunteering, make more money for themselves, and go […]

Good news everyone! Egyptians have (once again) taken to Tahrir square by the millions, and, aided by the military, deposed a sitting president. What is the appropriate reaction here? Is it: a) indifference, because we are ethnocentric Americans who cannot even find Egypt on a map. b) elation, because, as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. […]

We decided we needed an entirely separate Explainer to discuss all the stupid morons saying dumb things about PRISM and/or the collection of All Metadata Everywhere, because so many “journalists” have been MORE THAN HAPPY to come forward, pat America on its pretty head and mansplain that this is no big deal, and also, isn’t […]

Has there ever been a sadder thing in the history of What We Must Bear than the time Peggy Noonan didn’t like her hotel room? Well, yes! There was also the time the people-movers at the airport didn’t work, and Peggy Noonan had to drag her suitcase along dirty carpet! Let us read of these […]

We still get a wee thrill of joy every time there’s a new Peggy Noonan column. There’s a certain sad delight in watching someone who penned some of the best speeches of the last 50 years turn into the drunk lady at the country club – persistent, but mostly harmless. Before you ask, no we […]

In the misty days and bestarryed eves that pile one upon the other until a bevy of swooping larks of the nation’s citoyens fly as one for the gravied pomp and gloried circumstance of an Inauguration, a President must love. He must love John Boehner, and Mitch McConnell, with the lion’s heart in which a […]

barack obama john boehner ronald reagan ronald reagan bipartisan tip o’neill ronald reagan cliffs the cliffs always cliffs good faith why why why no thats no way for him has he no manners nor no refinement nor no nothing in his nature slapping us behind like that on my bottom because I didn’t call him […]

Presented without comment, because sweet Jesus Christ fucking your mom, how do you even … what is the … why can how for … brain … cracked … shlobblemorfin hoowigah?

Hey guys! Did you know that there’s a vast left-wing conspiracy to cover up the TRVTH about what happened in Libya? Totally factual and documented — at least, inside what Wonkette’s BFF Rachel Maddow calls the conservative “media bubble where [there are no] neutral or contrasting points of view.” And so, when Rupert Murdoch’s Wall […]

Who among you supposed — nay, dreamed — way back in 2008 that Karl Rove, having completed his task of gifting George W. Bush to America, would take his balls and go home and stop messing around with democracy? Well, we hate to be the bearers of bad news, but not only does he have […]

We are almost perfectly sure Wall Street Journal resident douchebag James Taranto didn’t mean to call down the Vengeance of the Internet last night, when he tweeted about the three women whose boyfriends died shielding them from the fusillade in Aurora, “I hope the girls whose boyfriends died to save them were worthy of the […]

Mitt Romney gave an interview to Peggy Noonan, and it is great! She is the greatest interviewer, very important and insightful questions, we are sure! Do you wake up in a good mood, or do you have to work your way into it? “When was the last time you woke up unhappy?” “Do you love […]

This is a little old but is SUPER IMPORTANT TO DEMOCRACY. Indonesian director Damien Dematra has finished shooting on Little Obama, a film based very, very loosely on our President Barry Soweto’s formative years in the country. It looks very good. Look, that’s where Obama got his karate skillz! It all makes sense now! And […]